Zhangjialou Pingxie Hezhi

When I woke up in the morning, I stood up abruptly from the edge of the bed, and heard a subtle groan from my waist. I didn’t dare to move for a while, and it happened that the fat man came to ask me to have breakfast. When I opened the door, I saw me leaning on my waist and lost in thought. With a sound of "Wow", he took three steps back, covering his eyes with one hand and swaying wildly with the other: "I didn't see anything, you hurry up and get out of bed, throw away everything that needs to be thrown away, I won't wash your sheets, brother?" ? This heartless guy is so ruthless, you wait for me to call him!"

Mentally retarded, I cursed, slowly stretched my waist and went downstairs, after dinner I called the fat man to dry the pickles, the fat man only realized at this time that I was just simply unwell.

I was sweating all over after work, and when I habitually took out a can of beer from the small refrigerator, the fat man patted me: "Old Comrade Wu, I know, you have done meritorious service for Jiumen, and you died for my little brother." Bloody, I shouldn't have treated you like this, but you are an old revolutionary, every revolutionary soldier is our precious resource, you have to take care of yourself!"

I was confused, what the hell, why did the words sound so wrong in his mouth, and asked him what he was trying to talk about, the fat man took the cold beer in my hand, opened it and took a big sip, it was so refreshing Wiping his mouth, he said, "What I mean is, if you're not in good health, don't drink it. How about I soak some goji berries for you?"

"Okay, you can bring me another jujube ice cream, which can replenish qi and blood, and is especially healthy." I let him talk nonsense, grabbed the fat man's hoof and poured myself a cup, sat on the porch to rest, took a sip, and cooled down. It made my scalp feel tight, and I sighed silently, I am a bit old.

Maybe it's because all the stories are over, I was "retired" by my second uncle, and even the fat man didn't say anything to make use of the waste heat, our status in the world should have dissipated in the year when Boyouping came back .

In fact, I don’t have a big gap in my heart. Maybe I really don’t have the talent to do this job. After I figured it out, I didn’t feel very disappointed. It’s just that I was a little bit upset when I was urged to abdicate, so we went out for a while. After a few days of relaxation, eating too much and staying up all night, when we returned to Yucun, Fatty and I both looked haggard like drug addicts, only Boyouping still looked the same.

"Naive, I don't think so." The fat man sat down next to me, and he actually grabbed a handful of goji berries and threw them into my cup. I thought he was going to have some freestyle, so I listened to him: "Look, you're just four Ten, the waist and legs are not good, we must pay attention to health preservation when we are older, we have to live younger and younger, you and my little brother can take the sunset red route mentally, but physically there is no need, right?"

In fact, I don’t mind taking the sunset red route physically. Otherwise, according to Poker’s physical condition, hip lifting and anal shrinking exercises will probably be on my agenda soon. It’s just that I can’t tell the fat man, so I can only give He had a look of "let me agree with you on the surface first".

The fat man thought I agreed, and patted his thigh: "So, health preservation and weight loss are actually similar. Just keep your mouth shut, keep your legs open, and pay attention to your diet. For example, wolfberry tea is a good start."

This is definitely the truth of the fat man, because he ate seafood a few days ago, he vomited and had diarrhea, and finally got dehydrated to get an IV.

"Exercising is also very necessary. As the saying goes, walk around after a meal and live to 99. In this regard, I think I can ask my brother's fitness guide. From beginner to proficient in 30 days, Zhang Qiling will take you to become a fitness expert. You how do you feel?"

I rubbed my chin and said slowly: "Sounds good, but I don't think I've ever seen my little brother exercising."

In fact, Poker's training method has always been a mystery, because he doesn't need to pursue physical beauty like some gay guys in the gym. For him, actual combat ability is the only guiding criterion. The training method we guessed is not good for him. are not applicable.

In fact, Fatty and I only saw him practice those two fingers a few times, and it made our backs feel cold, and I didn't dare to touch him for several days.

But this is not feasible from the perspective of human body. The muscles of the human body will be reduced if they do not exercise for a long time. For example, a fat person may have abdominal muscles before, but only a round one later.So I suspect that Poker-Face will go out from time to time, there must be other dogs outside - no - there must be a lot of physical training!

Thinking about it this way, my heart suddenly became hot. May I ask which man doesn’t like a beautiful body with eight-pack abs, perfect mermaid lines, skinny clothes and fleshy, slender and powerful bodies?Doesn't it mean that men should like things that are full of masculinity? I like Poker Oil Bottle, and I also like his figure. There is nothing wrong with it.

I deeply agree with Fatty's thoughts, and Fatty clapped his hands and laughed gratifiedly: "Okay, then the important task of interviewing the younger brother's physical training methods will be left to you from the organization! Comrade innocent, don't let the organization down to you Trust me!"

Poker-Face was sent to the post office in the town to pick up the courier in the morning. When I came back at noon, I didn't know that Fatty and I had already been following "Zhang's Fitness Cheats", and even wanted him to write a marketing soft article for Moments. "Secrets that 99% of Chinese people don't know!"Zhang Qiling, the head of the Zhang family, takes you into the world of fitness experts! ", I think it will be crazily retweeted on the Tao. With Zhang Qiling's ability, but not my physique of making rice dumplings, Xiadou is almost like a cash machine.

Damn, why didn't I think of it a few years ago, I should worship Poker Ping as a teacher, and the relationship between master and apprentice is also very touching, it's really cheap and blind.

The courier was sent by Wang Meng, who said it was to express his gratitude to me, because he almost lost his job before, and my second uncle and I argued hard. Although the lama disk is gone, the small antique shop can still be opened, at most It's just going back to 15 years ago.

When Pokerfing handed me the cardboard box, I didn't think much about it, and asked the fat man the question while unpacking the package. Pokerfing was obviously taken aback for a moment, and repeated with a little doubt: "Physical training?

In fact, it can't be called physical training. I won't go out of the mountain again, as long as I don't let my body collapse so quickly. I told him the conversation with the fat man. Although it was very cryptic, I think Poker should listen Understood, his eyes drifted around me, and finally landed on the box, touched his nose and said nothing.

After I finished tearing off the tape, he mumbled, "It makes sense, you should exercise more."

"Brother, in fact, I want to tell you to be frugal—"

In order to ensure that there is no deviation in Poker's understanding, I still decided to be straightforward, but I just opened the express carton, and the word "temperance" couldn't be said.

The box is full of lubricants and condoms, neat and full, specially classified into categories, and even fruity. On the top is a handwritten card: "The boss is a good man! Best wishes for sex! Sincerely, loyal Wang Meng".

Wang Meng probably wanted to die.

With a dark face, I snapped the box shut, picked it up, turned around, and was about to leave. Then I remembered that it was not appropriate to throw away this thing. Although there are no trash cans in the village like residential areas, there is also a fixed place to throw away household garbage. Throwing this big box in, I am afraid that the rumor that "the three brothers living above are really messed up" will spread throughout the village tomorrow.

But it is not suitable to put in the storage room, let alone the fat man, Xiaohua Xiuxiu and the others occasionally come to live for a few days, I raise wild boars in the mountains to make sausages and smoked bacon, and sometimes the harvesters will also come.

It's the most suitable place under my bed, no outsider will look through it, but it looks like I can't bear to throw it away.

A little depressing.

Before going to bed at night, the fat man also interviewed me about my progress. Do I have to get up early tomorrow to exercise with Poker Ping? Do you have any feelings? I am excited or not. I just replied to him: "Wang Meng is too insidious. Arrange for him to have a hundred blind dates."

Fatty looked confused, muttering "why are you bullying Mengmeng again?" and went back to sleep. I went upstairs holding my stomach full of anger, and when I entered the room, I saw Poker Bottle digging through the closet. I thought this girl would run away again, right?Could it be that he found his lost memory somewhere?

There's no end to it, I thought to myself, this person is really merciful all over the world, can't he consider a retiree like me, the more I think about it, the more I feel suffocated, and I don't care if he is still packing up and calling him "Go to bed", turn off the lights, throw off the slippers, go to bed, and snore hypocritically.

Poker-Face paused, and after a moment of silence, he touched the edge of the bed and lay down on it. I swear I heard him laugh softly, and wanted to jump up to scold him, but felt that I was being unreasonable. Why should I be so angry? It can't really be menopausal retirement unemployment syndrome.

My mind was in a mess, I thought I would suffer from insomnia, but when I heard Poker Face's steady and steady breathing, I gradually fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day, I subconsciously touched the side. It was empty, and the sheets were cold.

I woke up in an instant, the sweat on my forehead was dripping down, but the coolness in my palms kept rushing to my heart, I jumped up and called fat man, I was hopping around the room with one bare foot looking for a shoe, Poker Bottle opened the door and came in to ask me What's wrong.

"You saw the little brother—no, I said you—well, I mean, little brother, where did the fat man go?"

I turned a few corners with one sentence, Poker Fase didn't ask any more questions, and took out a slipper from under the bed and handed it to me: "I'm cooking, we can leave after eating."

I felt a thump in my heart when I heard it, and my heart, which had just let go, lifted up again: "Where are you going?"

Pokerfing pointed to a set of sportswear at the end of the bed: "Wait for this, it's suitable for sports, I'll take you to exercise."

He bit the last four words very clearly. I could hear the smell of a fitness trainer hating his students, so he changed his clothes and went to wash up. It turned out that he was looking for clothes last night.

After eating, Fatty Pidianpidian and I went out with Pokerfinger. Fatty looked at the surrounding mountains and forests and expressed his poetry: "Ah! Dashan, you are so beautiful one by one"

After holding back for a long time, there was nothing to say. He scratched his head and told me that it might be a psychological effect. He felt that the weather today was very good, neither hot nor sunny, and the mist of the waterfall drifted leisurely in the air, which was very comfortable.

I'm right, because you want to exercise with your little brother, youthful, refreshed, young and full of vitality, and a long life is in sight.

The fat man waved his hand, glanced at Poker Bottle leading the way, and said: "I really didn't expect to live a long life. To be honest, naive, it would be nice for people like us to die with a whole body. If we can die, it's all in our previous life." It’s not a good thing to live for so long if you have accumulated blessings, what’s worse, your memory is still so good, people’s memory can’t be too good, really, the longer you live, the more painful it will be.”

I don't want to pick up the topic of him, it will put me in a bad mood, the people I love and I can't walk side by side in time, no one can face this issue with peace of mind, I've always been clear that no one can stay young forever , but someone is always young.

But there is also good news. After carefully comparing the appearance of ten years ago, Poker Bottle has actually changed, but it is not as obvious as I am old. I think it is enough for the three of us to live another 40 to [-] years.

Feeling better again, I followed the fat man's words: "Since when did you believe in Buddhism, your stomach is full of meat and oil, you don't even believe what you say."

The fat man could see my mood swings, he didn't say anything, he just patted my shoulder, I felt a little helpless myself.

I really don't feel too disappointed about staying away from this industry. I have never loved this industry. I don't have a weasel spirit like a fat man. I feel like going home after stealing a hole. I hate these things. It's just me. People are very stubborn by nature—maybe it’s not natural, after all Qi Yu has such a temper—if I don’t finish these things, I will go crazy.

The rest has nothing to do with me. I can continue walking with curiosity, but my level of caution is no longer enough to guarantee my safety. I can see clearly what choice is best for me, so I can retreat. down.

But the stuffy oil bottle is not necessarily.

The air on the mountain is very good, and there are no mosquitoes near the Poker bottle. The fat man and I climbed the mountain quietly behind the Poker bottle. There are only crisp birdsong and the sound of the waterfall in our ears. This environment is very helpful for depth. think.

I discovered my emotional problems a few days ago, and now I finally understand that it is because Poker Bottle is too deep in these things. For him, there is no question of quitting or not. His existence, regardless of Whether it's Zhang Qiling's identity or his own review of memory, it's hard for him to get rid of these things.

Pokerfinger is different from us, we are not born to belong to this line of work, I am still a half-way monk, I just walked out, it seems that the distance from Pokerfinger has widened a lot, and it took me a lot of effort to catch up If you come to him, will you be used by him again?I even used the beauty trick!

"No, little brother, is your physical training method to climb mountains?" The fat man shouted, I looked around, and I was almost at the top of the mountain.

The waterfall is washed down from the cliff of this mountain, but after going around the mountain near the top of the mountain, there is a long and gentle mountain road with obvious traces of trampling. There are many bamboo forests in Fujian, and villagers here often go up the mountain to pick wild Bamboo shoots, I thought about contracting planting before, but the village party secretary said that the policy does not allow it, and I was worried about damaging the ecology, so I had to give up.

I took my thoughts back from the bad things, and I was a little confused, so I saw Poker Bottle shook his head: "The air quality here is good, and the original ecological mountain forest environment is also aerobic exercise. Climbing mountains in the morning to breathe fresh air, a certain altitude It also helps build lung capacity, which is a great routine for you and the fat guy."

He explained it to me. The fat man glanced at me, but I didn't say anything, so he had no choice but to take up the topic: "That's what I said, but we brothers are just curious, how did you develop your skills? Usually I haven't seen you in action either."

Poker-Face frowned, as if he didn't know how to express it, he said after a while: "It's not the same."

"Is there no way to do the same, or do you not want to?" I finally took up the topic, "Brother, let me tell you the truth, if you leave again, I don't know about Fatty, but I don't want to leave."

The fat man looked left and right, surprised that the atmosphere was not right, and raised his hand weakly: "I'm naive this time around, why don't you two continue chatting, and I'll go... around?"

Poker bottle was a little dazed, completely ignored the fat man, and said to me: "Is there any difference?"

I also shook my head: "Not the same."

"To put it bluntly, it is whether you can stay for me. After all, the memory you lost has been lost, and I can't participate in your past, but I still have decades in the second half of my life. Your age, how long will it take for you to grow old, but brother, you can actually think about living my life, I have experienced your life, and it is your turn to experience mine."

I know I'm a bit of a dead end, but this should be my last privilege. I know that no matter what questions or requests I ask, the oil bottle and the fat man will always agree to me. I will be willful once in a while. Who is not naive? when.

The fat man found a rock by the side of the road and sat down on his buttocks, and said: "I don't want to talk too much about the two of you. He won't go anywhere, and brother, your guy's brain is not very normal, you should coax him a little bit, if he is curious, you can talk to him, and when you turn around and hold your breath, where are you going to sleep? "

The tragic atmosphere that I finally brewed was completely destroyed by the fat man in an instant, so I scolded him for cooperating, but I didn't know how to avoid it.

The two of us were bickering vigorously, when Pokerfing suddenly raised his head and said, "Actually, the amount of physical energy training is huge, and you won't be able to persevere."

ah?No, this is actually just an excuse, a trigger, I am not really obsessed with this——

"That's not necessarily true, little brother, you can't look down on me, I'm also three mountains and five mountains—"

Fatty doesn't like to be told no, even if it's Pokerfing's words, he will habitually pick up the words, but before he finished speaking, Pokerfing pointed to the mountain road behind which has been much smoother: "For example, this Three ways to run back and forth with a load in 10 minutes."

"One by one, I used to be the little overlord of the Three Mountains and Five Mountains Inverted Fighting World, but the hero doesn't mention the bravery in the past. Let the bright future be given to fake young people like you." The fat man wiped his forehead, and I handed him a contemptuous Eyes, people like me who know they can't do it will never slap themselves in the face.

I have walked this road, and it is estimated to be six to seven kilometers back and forth in a flat section. If you carry [-] kilograms, you can catch up with the special forces. Thinking about it this way, the training intensity Pokerfing has received must not be low. I really can't compare.

My mood of worrying about gain and loss suddenly appeared again, and Xu Zi was still asking, "How much weight do you have to carry?" "Can I finish the run in half an hour?" "I rely on my brother, why don't you go to the Olympics?" Why don't you take a look at it?" "Hey, you don't have any weight"——

Poker bottle suddenly walked up to me in two steps, looking a little impatient with the fat man, he poked my shoulder: "Borrow it."

Although I didn't know what he was going to borrow, I nodded first, and in the next second he carried me by the waist, and put me face down on his shoulders, like a humanoid bag.

I was startled by the feeling of suddenly flying into the air, and I could only hug Poker Fing's back with my hands. I was startled. Damn, could I be the "heavy" in the weight-carrying run?

I kicked my legs and wanted to come down, but Poker Ping hugged my thighs and put one hand on my waist and abdomen. He had already carried me to the depths of the mountain road, the stunned expression of the fat man was on my face The field of vision gradually faded away.

Three or ten minutes later, I supported the fat man's shoulders and asked him to get up: "...Let me sit for a while, I feel a little dizzy."

Poker-Face stood beside him gasping for breath, his brow covered with sweat, he lifted the hem of his T-shirt to wipe the sweat, he was so straight, he didn't seem like someone who would run amok on me on the bed, only when he saw the tattoo floating inside. There is a familiar ambiguity.

The fat man pressed my shoulders and asked me if I had any thoughts: "This is too difficult, we should climb the mountain honestly, what do you think?"

To be honest, I don't have any idea, he ran very steadily, I didn't feel bouncing, but now my mind is full of green, the mountain road speeding down, and the solid back of Poker Bottle, press The palm on my thigh—

I waved the fat man's hand away, put it on his shoulder and walked down the mountain, and said weakly: "I may never want to run again in this life, whoever rides the humanoid cable car knows..."

"Then I don't think I have a chance, and no one can bear my weight. Why do you act like a good boy when you get cheap? You don't know how to be blessed when you are in the blessing..." The fat man scrambled all the way, and I went back and fell on the ground. I don't know when the stuffy oil bottle was touched on the bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my waist. I enjoyed the massage and fell asleep again. When I woke up, it was not yet noon, and Poker Face was still sitting on the side with his head down, as if he hadn't moved at all.

Poker bottle has a very magical quality, you will gradually realize how stupid you are when you look at his quiet side face, the longer you watch, the more dark history comes to mind, I just lay on the bed like this, the same Looking at him quietly and reflecting on myself, the miraculous thing is that the irritability has disappeared.

The windows are half open, the mountain breeze is cool with water vapor, the house is very quiet, and the fat man's out-of-tune folk songs occasionally sound from downstairs.

I finally realized that I have already passed that year, and there will be no feats waiting for me in the future. I don't need to think so much. In fact, I can go anywhere, anyway, he has to come back anyway.

It’s like the metaphor of a fat man, although it’s not very elegant, but it’s really a problem if you slept with a girl and didn’t pay. Of course, I’m not talking about myself, I should belong to the memory that won’t be lost.

Thinking about it, he poked Poker Bottle: "Brother, do you think I'm more of a schizophrenia? I've imagined the split-personality schizophrenia that I explained by myself?

Poker-Face turned to look at me, and said unhurriedly, "It's okay, the fat man said——"

He paused for a moment, a little hesitant, I asked what the fat man said, and I wanted to listen to the original words.

"—Wu Xie just likes to think about it, brainstorming a few times, talking about my menopause all day long, but in fact his menopause is more serious than anyone else, you should quickly carry him away and fuck him until he is too tired to say anything Let’s be honest, there are so many things going on every day, and I’m doing my best to be a moth.”

I saw Poker Finger's serious face, and with a movement of his lips, he quickly repeated the fat man's original words, even imitating his tone and accent, and then I remembered his "great achievements" when he was the film star in Xisha.

But that's not why he's taking a serious look at a box of cherry-flavored condoms.

"Where did you find it?"

"When I was looking for your slippers in the morning, I saw a box under the bed."

When I return to Hangzhou this year, I must let Fatty accompany Wang Meng on blind dates, and the blind dates will be over [-] times.

This matter was digested by myself, until a few days later in the morning, when I woke up with the crisp sound of birdsong, I looked at Poker Face's sleepy face who was still online, and stood up with the two of us. I turned around and went to touch the box under the bed. Of course, the idea is good, but the result is inevitable. I have a good attitude, so I accept it calmly.

When I finished lazily lying on the bed, I was still in the aftertaste state. Poker bottle, who had gone to wash up first, came back, and suddenly moved his face to me. With a little excitement, he pointed to his face and said: "You look!"

I was a little confused, and looked around his face, with sharp edges and corners, high nose and thin lips, I didn't see anything wrong, so I pinched his face: "Yeah! You look good! You are fair and beautiful! Sword eyebrows and star eyes ! I like it to death!"

Poker bottle tilted his head and pressed his forehead. I suspected that he rolled his eyes from an angle I couldn't see, turned around and sighed slightly, grabbed my hand and pressed it near the corner of his eye, with a serious tone: "You Take a closer look."

I had no choice but to focus my eyes on his eyes. The eyelashes are very long, which is as good as mine. The black and white eyes are as clear as Jiangnan ink paintings, and the pupil color is darker than mine. Occasionally, I will look for him narcissistically in his eyes. I have a handsome face, but Poker-Fing's eye sockets are a bit deep. I don't know where his ancestral home is. He still has double eyelids. Fatty used to joke that Poker-Fing and I formed a group to cut our double-fold eyelids.

Speaking of double eyelid cutting——

I moved my fingers to the corners of Poker-Face's eyes and rubbed it lightly twice, only to be sure that there were really fine lines here.

It's very thin and shallow, but it's really wrinkles, just like the ones in the corners of my eyes.

It is said that people will start to develop wrinkles after the age of 25. I am not sure, because I used to be a young man with a jade face when I was 26. The wrinkles suddenly increased later. It is not surprising according to the age of Poker. , just thinking that he will slowly grow gray hair and wrinkled face is a bit funny.

I saw that he was still pursing his lips, but his eyes were shining, and he had an expression of "please praise me", and finally couldn't help laughing out loud, put his arms around his shoulders, and kissed him directly.

Later, the physical training was naturally not mentioned again, but the three of us went to patrol the mountains every morning, and Poker Fing would still go out occasionally, but the frequency was greatly reduced, and more time was spent in the village to collect agricultural products with us. From time to time, I watched the old people in the village gather together to bask in the sun, and I seemed to see our 40 years later, which was also very good.

End