Zhangjialou Pingxie Hezhi

When I took the medical record back and showed it to Boyouping, I was actually a little apprehensive—not because it said "recent sexual affairs are not suitable" in the column of the doctor's order, but because I forged the medical record.

The matter started more than a week ago. At that time, it happened to be the season for harvesting ginseng. We lived next door to an old man surnamed Yang. His children were all working in the provincial capital and did not come back often. He lived in the back mountain The piece of Yuzai ginseng planted has no one to help take care of it.

Fatty and I were collecting our own Yuzai ginseng that day, and we were discussing whether we should make mooncakes filled with Yuzai ginseng when the Mid-Autumn Festival was approaching, when we saw Uncle Yang hobbled to the land next door with a hoe.

In fact, there are not many decent people in this village who grow this kind of plant. Most people plant it in a small piece of soil in the front yard of their house, or plant some in pots like green onions.There are only two pieces of Yuzai ginseng in the back mountain, one is ours and the other is Uncle Yang’s.

Uncle Yang’s legs and feet have never been very good. In addition, he gave us the root of Yuzi ginseng we planted. He also asked him for planting methods and some issues that should be paid attention to. He also taught him how to make dim sum.Therefore, every time we see him working in the field, we will help him out, and this time is no exception.

The sun was too strong that day, and by the time the fat man and I finished our work in the evening and returned with two baskets of ginseng, our clothes had already been soaked in sweat.

Poker-finger was sent by me during the day to buy glutinous rice and brown sugar for making snacks. At this time, he had already returned and was sitting at the door of the house peeling beans.

The fat man rushed to the refrigerator to shave drinks. I felt so sticky and itchy all over my body. I wanted to take a bath first, but I was afraid that I would have to wash again after sweating while cooking, so I simply endured it.

Pokerfing probably saw that I was sweating profusely, so he actively went to stir-fry and cooked a few simple dishes, which were just enough for the few of us to eat.The things he makes are always quite satisfactory, there are no tricks but they are not hard to swallow, but I have no appetite for the first time, probably because the weather is too stuffy and I feel uncomfortable.

When I took a shower and took off my clothes, I found that there were small red spots where my clothes rubbed and scratched, especially where the plaster was attached.

The plaster was bought by the fat man from the village doctor. My waist was tossed by the oil bottle a few days ago, so I asked the fat man for two to paste.

At first I didn't pay attention to it, until I lay on the bed and scratched more and more, I didn't realize that something was wrong.Poker-Face lifted my clothes and took a look. My entire stomach, upper waist and waist were densely covered with red rashes. Fortunately, neither of us has trypophobia.

He gave a "tsk" and said it was prickly heat.After finishing speaking, he pressed my hand that was scratching hard, and asked me not to scratch it.

My whole hand was restrained by him and I couldn't move it, so I could only writhe around and itched so badly.He searched around the house, probably looking for ointment, but he rummaged through the tubes, and there was only lubricant besides the toiletries.I said brother, bring me the toothpaste to deal with it first, it itches me to death.

He shook his head, saying that was too exciting.

I quickly checked the Internet with my mobile phone, and found that someone said that rubbing watermelon rind could relieve the pain. When I told him, he immediately went to the refrigerator to get a piece of watermelon, and went straight to the fat man's room.

As soon as the fat man opened the door, Boyouping handed over the watermelon and said, "Eat."

The fat man smiled flattered: "It's still my little brother who knows how to be considerate. I'm just hungry." After speaking, he took the watermelon and gnawed it.After taking two bites, he saw that the oil bottle was stuck at his door, so he stopped and looked at him strangely, and asked, "What's the matter, brother?" After asking, he glanced at me at the door, and said in a low voice: " Naive kicked you out?"

Poker Bottle shook his head, and said again: "Eat quickly."

The fat man finished eating nervously, but the watermelon rind was snatched away by Poker Bottle, leaving him stunned by the door.I yelled at him: "Oh, it's nothing, it's just prickly heat, and the Internet says that watermelon rind is useful."

After listening to the fat man, he laughed with a "chi" and told us to wait, then ran back to the room, and when he came out, he handed us a bottle of toilet water: "You can do it, if the watermelon peel is useful, then the fat man My saliva is also useful!"

I threw the watermelon rind away, took toilet water and went back to the room. Before leaving, I said to him: "Your saliva is useless, but mine is."

He was baffled, but there was a smile in Poker-Face's eyes.

I wiped Fatty's toilet water all night, but it didn't cure the symptoms, but it was a pain. The oil bottle got up every once in a while to help me wipe it. I hardly slept, but I fell asleep later and didn't know anything.

The prickly heat didn't go away the next day, so I thought about going to the town to buy prickly heat powder, so I could buy some drinks and come back.

We delayed our departure until the afternoon, and by the time we finished our shopping, it was already dark, and the street stalls and food stalls had all come out.I looked at the barbecue stalls and suddenly wanted to eat it. Of course, the fat man agreed with both hands, and the Poker bottle didn't object.

We picked a lot of ingredients. I ordered two saury, which I usually like to eat, and a few oysters, and then picked some meat skewers and staple food for Poker Bottle. lobster.

We drank beer and ate. Most of the time, the fat man and I were discussing various foods.

Their saury is grilled very well, with crispy skin, firm flesh, moderate saltiness, and a hint of umami that is unique to sea fish. Although it has been fried in oil, it is not greasy at all.I couldn't get enough of it, so I asked for more.The fat man was gnawing leeks and peeling crayfish. At this time, he said: "When can we go to the beach to have a refreshment, the sea fish and seafood there are called fresh, and we can eat them in different ways." For the eggplant, ask the proprietress to add more garlic.

When I finished eating the second fish, there were already several lobster meats on the plate in front of me, which were peeled by Poker.His method of peeling lobsters is very strange, the speed is extremely fast, and the peeled shells are very complete. I have learned it several times with Fatty but have not learned it.

The fat man was sucking the soup of spicy crayfish, and said: "This crayfish tastes good only if you peel and eat it yourself. If you are naive, you just don't know how to enjoy it." After speaking, he sucked his finger and walked away to me openly. Shredded lobster meat on a plate.Poker bottle shook his head helplessly when he saw it.

After drinking and eating, we happily drove back, but I never thought that because of this day's greedy mouth, my body would be devastated afterwards.

I discovered it the next morning. I thought that after applying talcum powder the night before, the prickly heat should subside a little, even if it wasn't good, but it got worse.It turned out that it was only a little in the waist and abdomen, but now it has spread to the chest, and the appearance is still a little different from the previous one.I thought to myself, why does this prickly heat mutate?

In desperation, I went to the village doctor and asked him to take a look. As a result, he said that I was allergic and gave me some over-the-counter medicine for me to take first.He also told me not to eat hair, especially seafood and spicy things, and I repeatedly agreed.

But I took the medicine for a few days and it didn't work, and the rash on my body was still in large patches.And in those few days, I couldn't touch many things. I felt that I was about to become a monk, and I didn't have such taboos when I was a lama.

In fact, it may be okay if you control it alone, but when you can't do one thing, but the people around you are doing it unscrupulously, it's very uncomfortable.For example, Fatty and the others are eating fish and meat in front of me. As long as I extend my chopsticks in the wrong direction, I will be stopped by the other pair of chopsticks without any discussion.

I didn't find the right opportunity to sneak out until the night when Boyouping was taking a bath, and ate the leftover vinegar fish and fried shrimp in the refrigerator. After eating, I felt a little guilty, and then ate two pieces of watermelon to relieve my mouth The smell of fish.

When I took a shower afterwards, I brushed my teeth three times before I dared to leave the bathroom.However, when I kissed Poker Face, his tongue swept all over my mouth, looked at me firmly and said, "You're smelly."

Damn, he's afraid it's not a cat.

After hearing this, I was stunned. It sounded like I was cheating.I touched my nose, and said calmly, no, but my heart was really empty.

Later, when I was pressed to death on the bed by Poker Bottle, I regretted it.Fortunately, he didn't dislike my rash all over my body, and he still did well.

The rash has not been good and it is not a problem, so I went to the hospital in the county by myself the next day.

After being called to the number, I was looking for a consultation room, when a doctor in a white coat came over and stopped me, saying that the dermatologist should go to him for a pre-diagnosis first, and then be assigned to a specialist.I usually get sick less often and don't often go to the hospital, so I don't have any doubts.

This is a male doctor about 30 years old, wearing a pair of wire glasses, he looks quite gentle and stable.When he arrived in a consulting room, he sat down and looked through my medical records, and asked me some simple questions.He asked me if I had a similar situation before. I thought about it and said that I only had oral herpes occasionally, and I never had such a serious rash.

Then he asked me to take a look at my clothes, and I did so. He looked at it for a while, then turned around and wrote something on my medical record.

"Have you ever been allergic to anything before?" he asked me.

I shook my head, I'm pretty sure I didn't have any allergies since I was a child, it tastes delicious.

He asked me about my smoking and drinking habits, as well as my sleeping and emotional conditions, and I answered them truthfully, and he wrote them down.

After a while he asked me again: "How is your sex life?"

I froze for a moment, and asked if it was related, could it still be contagious?

He glanced at me: "That's it." After speaking, he wrote in a certain column: I have sex.

I straightened my waist, and there was a sudden soreness from my waist to the root of my thigh. I wanted to stop doing anything else, and went over and said, "Doctor, you can do me a favor, it's a matter of little effort."

He looked up at me, pushed the glasses on the bridge of his nose, and said what?

I pointed to the medical record and said, "Can you help me write something in the doctor's order, saying that the recent situation is not suitable for having sex."

After hearing this, his eyes were a little complicated, and he showed a meaningful smile, and said, "What's the matter, the young couple are still having conflicts?"

I smiled sheepishly and said mysteriously: "Doctor, you don't know, my wife, she usually looks very quiet and obedient, but when he's on the bed, he looks like he's going to eat people..." I touched my waist, " I'm about to lose my kidney..."

The doctor patted me on the shoulder and said: "Understand, understand." After speaking, he wrote in the remarks: recent sexual matters are inappropriate.

I took the medical record and thanked him again and again, and when I was about to leave, he said again: "But you can hide from the first day of the junior high school, but you can't hide from the fifteenth day... You should take good care of your kidneys, after all, the future will be long." He gave a meaningful smile and looked weird.

Then I went to the consultation room written on the number, which was the same as going to see the Boss of the next level after finishing the copy of the game and upgrading.This doctor looks more reliable than the one just now. He is an older doctor. After reading it, he said it was an allergy, and he gave me a list to pick up the medicine.

I asked him what am I allergic to?He glanced at me and said that this needs to be investigated carefully. If I really want to investigate, I can go to a hospital in a big city and do a systematic screening.

When he went back, Pokerfing didn't know where he had gone and hadn't come back yet, so he was alone with Fatty.I couldn't help but tell the fat man about this, he laughed "hehe" twice, and asked me, "Have you ever taken jujube pills naively?"

I shook my head inexplicably: "What is that? Food allergies?"

The fat man patted me pointingly: "Don't worry, you will always get it."

I still wanted to question him, but Poker-Face came back.His expression was normal, and he probably didn't hear what I just said to the fat man.

I pulled him aside and showed him the medical records, especially the page where I let the wire glasses scribble.

After these years, I have basically been able to deceive people without changing my face, but there are three people who can usually see through me at a glance.One is my second uncle, one is Fatty, and the other is Boyouping.He is like a roundworm in my stomach, no matter what I do, he can know what I am thinking. To successfully deceive this person, the degree of difficulty can be said to be quite high.To put it another way, maybe if I go to fight the forbidden woman, the possibility of winning is relatively high.

Thinking about it this way, I started to regret it. If he really found out, it would not be a matter of lying down and letting him fuck me.

But the roundworm can know what the host is thinking, but the host will not know what the roundworm is thinking.I looked at Poker Ping's unchanged expression, and I really didn't know what he was thinking.

I pretended to be calm and sat down on one side, and repeated what the doctor said to him.

After listening to me lightly, he glanced at me, nodded and said, "I'll accompany you to the examination."

Poker-Face is a man of action, so he collected his good things that night and booked a ticket for the next day.

He didn't have an ID card, so we had to take a long-distance bus for a few hours, which made my back hurt and I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.

When he woke me up, the people in the car had almost left, and I didn't know how others felt when they saw us two big men sleeping next to each other.I yawned and got out of the car, my footsteps were a little vain.I was in a hurry to go home early by car, and asked Poker Bottle to pinch it for me.

We went to my parents' house for a meal first, and I didn't tell them the purpose of my coming to Hangzhou, just that I came to work, and they didn't ask much.

I told them before that Boyouping has no parents and grew up in the countryside. He is introverted and doesn't like to talk, but he is very honest.My mother and the others listened to my words and felt sorry for his life experience, and because Poker-Face often sent them things, they felt sorry for him just like their own son, who added food and vegetables.

After eating, Boyouping went to help my mother wash the dishes without saying a word. During this time, my mother kept asking him, Xiao Zhang, did he have a girlfriend?Xiao Zhang, what kind of aunt do you like to introduce to you... Poker Fing didn't say a word, just nodded or shook his head occasionally, and he even gave me a look when he came out.That look seemed to say: Your son will be responsible for this.

I was afraid that they would know about my allergies, so they would not dare to stay overnight.After sitting and chatting with them for a while, Poker-Face and I returned to my original residence.

After a day of driving during the day, I was sweating all over again, and at night I found that I had another rash on my body, which was extremely uncomfortable.

After I took a shower, I lay on the bed, and Poker Bottle applied the ointment for me.I asked him with some anxiety: "Brother, will my body get better?"

Poker-Face looked up at me and shook his head, then patted my waist, beckoning me to turn over, and then painted my lower back.

Before I went to bed, I checked the address of the hospital I had found earlier, and I hurried there with Poker-Face early the next morning.Fortunately, it is a working day, there are not too many people, but there is still a relatively long queue.The dermatology department of this hospital is relatively well-known, and it also has a relatively systematic allergen screening.I have already registered an expert account on the Internet, and I am a very experienced old doctor.

The old doctor just looked at it casually, asked me a few questions, and then looked at my examination results, and then came to a conclusion.He said that I was allergic to the ingredients in the Sanwu plaster that I put on before, and it happened that the thing was not breathable, so I got prickly heat all over my body due to stuffiness.He also said that I had a mild seafood allergy because of my uncontrolled diet during that time, and finally I developed pityriasis rosea when I got hot on the way to Hangzhou.

After he finished speaking, he wrote it down in my medical record. I was afraid that he would turn to the previous page and expose the nonsense in the medical staff, so after he finished prescribing the medicine, I thanked him and left.

That day we returned to Fujian the same way, but there was no car when we entered the village. Poker-Face and I waited beside the road for a long time, only to stop a tractor.

Now it is the season of autumn harvest, and the tractor is full of straw.Poker-Face and I were sitting on the pile of straw, trembling by the tractor. He leaned on the straw and closed his eyes to rest.

It was already evening at this time, the sun was setting on the top of the mountain in the west, and the warm light slanted down, occasionally passing under the tall trees, and the light and shadow on Poker's face were mottled.

I looked at the fading sun and said casually: "Brother, I actually have allergies. I am allergic to forbidden women, to dead cats, and to Liqiu."

I turned my head and glanced at Poker Bottle. I wonder if his eyes opened a crack because he heard what I said, so I leaned over and kissed him.

Poker bottle pinched my waist and said in a deep voice, "The future will be long."

My heart skipped a beat, as if I suddenly understood what the fat man meant by "eating jujube pills".

End

Behind the scenes

The doctor watched the young man leave, slowly suppressed his smile, closed the door, turned around and took off his white coat, steel wire glasses, and the human skin mask and wig on his face. The joints stretch out.

He took out his backpack from the cabinet, packed up his outfit, and left the consulting room.

When he was leaving the hospital, he passed by an unmanned store at the door, and suddenly remembered that he had run out of condoms at home, so he went in.

He hesitated for two seconds before the ultra-thin model, and finally reached for the raised thread model.