When a Super Villain Meets Little Porter[Comprehensive]
15. Fork X Liquor Crazy X Bastard
"Okay, meow, I have seen that you have made very significant progress. Yes, I feel that my appearance has changed, and I am getting closer and closer to the handsome and perfect me before. You will It's about to succeed, just a little bit, just a little bit. Come on, you are the best. You are the greatest wizard I have ever seen, although I have only seen you..."
"Shut up, Wade."
"I'm encouraging you." Wade, whose appearance hadn't changed at all, spread his hands and shrugged, and said to James.
"But your lifeless tone didn't leave me feeling uninspired." James felt discouraged now, too.
After he and Weasel arrived at the home of a blind old woman that Deadpool said to meet with Deadpool, he had already spent more than an hour here, not to mention the failure of transformation, his transformation spell was not even able to be cast once. come out.
"Then can I tell the truth? Your Meowing Curse is really bad." Deadpool said frankly, he felt that he probably met the bottom student in the Wizarding School of Magic, "You passed the wizarding professional exam Yet?"
"I'm one of the best students in our school," said James affirmatively, not to mention he was Harry Potter's son.
"No wonder we've never heard of this school." Deadpool said suddenly.
James: "..." Do you believe I cast a snot-spitting spell on you?
The weasel, who was watching curiously an hour ago, was already sitting aside with his chin propped up, looking bored.
"Why can't you call other outstanding students?" Weasel made a suggestion.
"No way, I don't know how to explain it, but I'm the only wizard here." James shook his head. It would be complicated to explain it. In the end, Loki was the culprit.
"Run away from home?" Ai'er, the blind old woman who took in Deadpool, asked.
"No wonder you wandered to the little spider." Deadpool praised sincerely, "I have to say, this is really a wonderful idea. I can enjoy the touch of the little spider every day, sleep with the little spider, and watch Little Spider undresses... oh, little Peter should have nice abs by now? It must be nice to touch."
"I feel like I'm hard, do you have time for me to solve it?" Deadpool asked excitedly after thinking about it.
"No!" James retorted loudly.
The blind woman Ai'er walked over to Deadpool and poured a glass of water on Deadpool's head, "Watch your mouth in front of children."
"I didn't expect you to be such an old man who loves children?" Deadpool was not angry, and reached out to wipe his wet face. "Next time, please use cold water, please? Don't use hot water that you haven't cooled down yet. .I'm ugly enough, I don't want to get blistered."
James Potter: "I feel more and more that I'm doing something stupid right now."
Four days before the wizard's graduation exam, he is still actively helping Deadpool and Spider-Man reunite in this world after a long absence.
James would have been touched by his own sentiment of friendship.
"Wade, are you really sure your face can be cured?" James asked, frowning as he looked at Wade's bumpy face, "If not, we don't need to keep trying, anyway, you will sooner or later To face Peter."
"Of course, of course." Deadpool said with a confident expression on his face, "I just need a little more time. I will never use this face to meet Peter, otherwise this will definitely be the most difficult time in my life and little Peter's life." Bad nightmare."
"It's not that bad...Peter won't care much about your handsome and perfect appearance, what's more, I think I'm used to seeing it." James was indeed intimidated by Wade's disfigured face at first, but after staring at you After such a long time, I also feel that it is more pleasing to the eye, "But if I look like you, I won't be willing to go out to meet people."
"...I took your words as comfort, very useful comfort, thank you." Deadpool said after a second of silence.
"Nepal, Karma Taj, Doctor Strange, are those words true?" James suddenly thought.
"Of course it's true." Deadpool replied, "But it's not my script, I just borrowed it."
James: "..." This script sounds so fake.
"Isn't a wizard able to succeed just by reciting a spell?" Weasel asked, "Could it be that you have cast a spell wrong?"
"Absolutely not." James believed in his academic level so much, God knows how long he spent learning spells.Since he bears the title of the eldest son of the savior, he urges himself to do his best, "The transfiguration spell is the most complicated and difficult one among spells, and you have no idea how difficult it is. If I had a wand, I would Sure it will work, but—"
"Wand?" Deadpool suddenly remembered that the little spider was holding a twig in the bedroom, and asked in surprise, "You mean that twig? Is that your magic stick?"
"No, it's really just a twig!" Jaime retorted, even though it was given to me by an Asgardian god.
"My wand..." James felt that the fact that the wand had been confiscated by his parents sounded too embarrassing, "I didn't bring it with me."
"Okay! I understand! That's the point!" Deadpool suddenly became excited, and then rushed to the kitchen in a hurry, handing a fork to James.
"I'm talking about a wand. It's a fork." James refused, frowning. He didn't want to be a wizard holding a fork and casting spells. It's too embarrassing.What's more, everyone's wand is unique, how can it be replaced by a fork.
"Try it!" Deadpool shoved the fork into James's hand, "You may just not be used to it because you don't hold anything in your hand. Just imagine that this fork is your wand, and the psychological hint is clear." Is it? Think about it carefully, there is no difference between a fork and a wand, maybe it feels better in the hand..."
"Lock tongue and throat!" James raised his fork and yelled the curse.
Deadpool's words stopped instantly, his tongue and palate stuck together while chanting the spell, completely unable to speak.
"Oh, I think you did it," said the Weasel in shock. "It seems the fork worked."
The dumb Deadpool also nodded to James and gave a thumbs up approvingly.
"That's because anger keeps me focused." James threw the fork away. "Besides, the Locking Tongue Charm is much simpler than the Transfiguration Charm."
"Oh, I like the spell," said the blind old woman. "He's always been too loud, and it's good now. My ears are quieter at last. I'll break his spell later, James."
"Wade, I'm not sure if I can help you." James sighed, looked at Deadpool and said, "Wandless magic is difficult for me, but I think I have already felt some skills. I also used the Transfiguration spell to become a human. Although I failed many times in the middle of the process, I succeeded anyway. I never thought before that I could successfully use the Transfiguration spell to turn a cat into a human. A person, especially this object is myself. I was also very nervous at the time, because who knows if I will change myself into some strange appearance? It is also possible that only the body will change back, or only a head will change... "
James felt that after solving Wade's matter, he must find an opportunity to become friends with Peter as James.
He has really done his best for Peter as a friend.
"Wait?" The weasel suddenly couldn't understand, "So, you are a cat?"
"No, of course not." James immediately denied, "I'm just, you can take it as, I was cursed by another wizard and turned into a cat. I still don't know how to completely change myself back. Transfiguration is also temporary."
Deadpool, who couldn't speak, jumped excitedly in front of James, pointing at his mouth, obviously wanting to speak.
James chooses to ignore Deadpool.
"It seems that a wizard should be allowed to change Wade back." Weasel said.
"I think he... is very busy." James still didn't know how to find Loki, who was busy conquering humans.
"Let's be honest, I'm actually very tired now." James is actually feeling a little frustrated now. Although he said before that he would help Wade, now he is not sure whether he can be useful, "I use Transformation on myself The mantra, from a cat to a human, has consumed a lot of my mana. The key to my success is that what I have become is my own appearance, and I am very familiar with what I am. .But Wade, just looking at a few photos of you, I'm not sure about this Transfiguration Curse."
Transformation spell, of course, the more you become familiar with things or people, the greater the chance of success.
James had never seen what Wade looked like before.
"It seems that Wade should take some full/nude photos before, so that you can understand him more deeply." Weasel said.
Deadpool nodded approvingly.
"Do you want a Locking Tongue Charm, too?" James turned to look at Weasel.
The weasel shut up immediately, and stretched out his hand to make a gesture of zipping his mouth.
"Son, you should take a break, you put too much pressure on yourself." The blind old woman said gently.
"But I entrusted someone else to tell Peter, Wade, you will meet him at his door at night. Since I promised, I will do it. I know it will be difficult for me, but since I have promised Peter, I think the pressure meeting will make me unleash my potential." James felt that he had unleashed a lot of his potential these days.Since he can use wandless magic to transform himself back into a human, he also has the opportunity to change Wade's appearance back to his original appearance.
"That's right, that's true, but you're a little impatient." The blind woman Aier followed the voice and walked towards James, and James quickly reached out to support the old woman, "It's still a long time before night, Just relax and you will succeed.”
"I also feel that I can't find a suitable state." James sighed, he turned his head to look at Deadpool, but his tone was very firm, "But even if I fail, I will take you Go, I believe that my state should be able to successfully give you another petrification, even if it is delayed, I will drag you over."
Deadpool's soft little heart trembled violently, ready to run away.
"If you dare to run away, I'll tell Peter everything about you, a perverted stalker, including the fact that you've been thinking about his charming and cute little butt." James said to death, he would never let Wei De Zai continued to escape like this, "You'd better sit quietly now, and pray that my transformation spell will be successful and useful to you today."
Deadpool sat with an ugly face and made a gesture of prayer to God.
Then the man sat on the chair with the appearance of a good baby, with both hands still neatly placed on his knees.
"How about a glass of wine?" suggested the Weasel.
"...I'm going to get drunk." James said honestly after a pause.
Weasel raised his eyebrows, and then went to get a bottle of wine, "That's also a good state, wine can make people relax."
James stared at the wine and thought for a while, then turned his head to look at Deadpool who was still sitting solemnly, "Okay, let's try."
Sure enough, it did not exceed James' expectations at all, and James was immediately drunk after two glasses of wine.
"Loki is an asshole!"
James, who was on alcohol, blushed drunk and shouted.
"What kind of Madagascar is he, or is he the god of Alaska? How can you say that you just pull people over? I told him that I'm about to graduate soon, yet he still pulls me over at such a critical moment." What about my exam? And, he turned me into a cat? Throwing me on top of the Statue of Liberty?"
"This is the first time we've met! He turned out like this!"
"I've never seen a Slytherin who is more willful and arrogant than Loki!"
Weasel: "I don't think he should be given alcohol."
Blind woman: "I guess I have held back a lot of words in my heart."
Neither the blind woman Elle nor the weasel thought that James, who was drunk, would talk so much. He wanted to talk but couldn't. Deadpool was forced to be silent. It was really unbearable to the extreme. He really wanted to cut off his tongue and grow it again. A new one came out.
"I really can't figure out how I became friends with him, maybe he doesn't regard me as a friend."
"Oh, by the way, he also gave me a twig, which was the worst Slytherin gift I've ever received."
"He also told me that he wants to conquer mankind, and then? I think he is serious. No one knows about it, but I know it. Even if I know, I don't know what to do. Am I going to talk to Peter? Wake up to that Captain America?"
"But what should I say? Hey! Spider-Man, Captain America! There is a god named Loki who is going to rule the earth, so prepare yourself quickly. Merlin! It sounds like no one will believe it. That Karma Taj is even fake."
"Oh, I still have to thank him. When he was about to conquer the human race, he reminded me specifically? What an honor."
Weasel: "...oh, did I just hear some terrible news?"
Blind woman: "Maybe it is a prophecy of the destruction of the world."
James ruffled his hair frantically, with a disheveled hairstyle and a flushed cheek.
"I am the son of the savior, how could I become friends with a god who wants to conquer mankind?"
"I was really looking forward to meeting Loki. I actually wanted to meet him all the time, but definitely not when he was about to rule the earth. If he was really going to do this, would I be hostile to him? I don't want to do that."
James felt a mess in his head, he wanted to see Loki, and he didn't want to see Loki, but he had to face this problem.
It's really annoying!
"It's Loki's problem after all, his brain is worse than Wade's!"
The drunken James pointed at Deadpool, who looked unlovable because he couldn't speak.
Deadpool shrugged indifferently: Is it my fault?
"The more I think about it, the more I get annoyed... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh then I don't understand!"
James screamed, scratching his hair.
"If I had ever met Loki, I'd have stuffed his mouth full of taffy tongue, tied a Weasley whoosh-boom in his hair, and given him a Levitation Charm. All Muggles look up and see how proud and perfect he is!"
Weasel poured a glass of wine tremblingly: "I hope God won't eavesdrop."
Deadpool raised his eyebrows expressionlessly: "..." It might be.
"Shut up, Wade."
"I'm encouraging you." Wade, whose appearance hadn't changed at all, spread his hands and shrugged, and said to James.
"But your lifeless tone didn't leave me feeling uninspired." James felt discouraged now, too.
After he and Weasel arrived at the home of a blind old woman that Deadpool said to meet with Deadpool, he had already spent more than an hour here, not to mention the failure of transformation, his transformation spell was not even able to be cast once. come out.
"Then can I tell the truth? Your Meowing Curse is really bad." Deadpool said frankly, he felt that he probably met the bottom student in the Wizarding School of Magic, "You passed the wizarding professional exam Yet?"
"I'm one of the best students in our school," said James affirmatively, not to mention he was Harry Potter's son.
"No wonder we've never heard of this school." Deadpool said suddenly.
James: "..." Do you believe I cast a snot-spitting spell on you?
The weasel, who was watching curiously an hour ago, was already sitting aside with his chin propped up, looking bored.
"Why can't you call other outstanding students?" Weasel made a suggestion.
"No way, I don't know how to explain it, but I'm the only wizard here." James shook his head. It would be complicated to explain it. In the end, Loki was the culprit.
"Run away from home?" Ai'er, the blind old woman who took in Deadpool, asked.
"No wonder you wandered to the little spider." Deadpool praised sincerely, "I have to say, this is really a wonderful idea. I can enjoy the touch of the little spider every day, sleep with the little spider, and watch Little Spider undresses... oh, little Peter should have nice abs by now? It must be nice to touch."
"I feel like I'm hard, do you have time for me to solve it?" Deadpool asked excitedly after thinking about it.
"No!" James retorted loudly.
The blind woman Ai'er walked over to Deadpool and poured a glass of water on Deadpool's head, "Watch your mouth in front of children."
"I didn't expect you to be such an old man who loves children?" Deadpool was not angry, and reached out to wipe his wet face. "Next time, please use cold water, please? Don't use hot water that you haven't cooled down yet. .I'm ugly enough, I don't want to get blistered."
James Potter: "I feel more and more that I'm doing something stupid right now."
Four days before the wizard's graduation exam, he is still actively helping Deadpool and Spider-Man reunite in this world after a long absence.
James would have been touched by his own sentiment of friendship.
"Wade, are you really sure your face can be cured?" James asked, frowning as he looked at Wade's bumpy face, "If not, we don't need to keep trying, anyway, you will sooner or later To face Peter."
"Of course, of course." Deadpool said with a confident expression on his face, "I just need a little more time. I will never use this face to meet Peter, otherwise this will definitely be the most difficult time in my life and little Peter's life." Bad nightmare."
"It's not that bad...Peter won't care much about your handsome and perfect appearance, what's more, I think I'm used to seeing it." James was indeed intimidated by Wade's disfigured face at first, but after staring at you After such a long time, I also feel that it is more pleasing to the eye, "But if I look like you, I won't be willing to go out to meet people."
"...I took your words as comfort, very useful comfort, thank you." Deadpool said after a second of silence.
"Nepal, Karma Taj, Doctor Strange, are those words true?" James suddenly thought.
"Of course it's true." Deadpool replied, "But it's not my script, I just borrowed it."
James: "..." This script sounds so fake.
"Isn't a wizard able to succeed just by reciting a spell?" Weasel asked, "Could it be that you have cast a spell wrong?"
"Absolutely not." James believed in his academic level so much, God knows how long he spent learning spells.Since he bears the title of the eldest son of the savior, he urges himself to do his best, "The transfiguration spell is the most complicated and difficult one among spells, and you have no idea how difficult it is. If I had a wand, I would Sure it will work, but—"
"Wand?" Deadpool suddenly remembered that the little spider was holding a twig in the bedroom, and asked in surprise, "You mean that twig? Is that your magic stick?"
"No, it's really just a twig!" Jaime retorted, even though it was given to me by an Asgardian god.
"My wand..." James felt that the fact that the wand had been confiscated by his parents sounded too embarrassing, "I didn't bring it with me."
"Okay! I understand! That's the point!" Deadpool suddenly became excited, and then rushed to the kitchen in a hurry, handing a fork to James.
"I'm talking about a wand. It's a fork." James refused, frowning. He didn't want to be a wizard holding a fork and casting spells. It's too embarrassing.What's more, everyone's wand is unique, how can it be replaced by a fork.
"Try it!" Deadpool shoved the fork into James's hand, "You may just not be used to it because you don't hold anything in your hand. Just imagine that this fork is your wand, and the psychological hint is clear." Is it? Think about it carefully, there is no difference between a fork and a wand, maybe it feels better in the hand..."
"Lock tongue and throat!" James raised his fork and yelled the curse.
Deadpool's words stopped instantly, his tongue and palate stuck together while chanting the spell, completely unable to speak.
"Oh, I think you did it," said the Weasel in shock. "It seems the fork worked."
The dumb Deadpool also nodded to James and gave a thumbs up approvingly.
"That's because anger keeps me focused." James threw the fork away. "Besides, the Locking Tongue Charm is much simpler than the Transfiguration Charm."
"Oh, I like the spell," said the blind old woman. "He's always been too loud, and it's good now. My ears are quieter at last. I'll break his spell later, James."
"Wade, I'm not sure if I can help you." James sighed, looked at Deadpool and said, "Wandless magic is difficult for me, but I think I have already felt some skills. I also used the Transfiguration spell to become a human. Although I failed many times in the middle of the process, I succeeded anyway. I never thought before that I could successfully use the Transfiguration spell to turn a cat into a human. A person, especially this object is myself. I was also very nervous at the time, because who knows if I will change myself into some strange appearance? It is also possible that only the body will change back, or only a head will change... "
James felt that after solving Wade's matter, he must find an opportunity to become friends with Peter as James.
He has really done his best for Peter as a friend.
"Wait?" The weasel suddenly couldn't understand, "So, you are a cat?"
"No, of course not." James immediately denied, "I'm just, you can take it as, I was cursed by another wizard and turned into a cat. I still don't know how to completely change myself back. Transfiguration is also temporary."
Deadpool, who couldn't speak, jumped excitedly in front of James, pointing at his mouth, obviously wanting to speak.
James chooses to ignore Deadpool.
"It seems that a wizard should be allowed to change Wade back." Weasel said.
"I think he... is very busy." James still didn't know how to find Loki, who was busy conquering humans.
"Let's be honest, I'm actually very tired now." James is actually feeling a little frustrated now. Although he said before that he would help Wade, now he is not sure whether he can be useful, "I use Transformation on myself The mantra, from a cat to a human, has consumed a lot of my mana. The key to my success is that what I have become is my own appearance, and I am very familiar with what I am. .But Wade, just looking at a few photos of you, I'm not sure about this Transfiguration Curse."
Transformation spell, of course, the more you become familiar with things or people, the greater the chance of success.
James had never seen what Wade looked like before.
"It seems that Wade should take some full/nude photos before, so that you can understand him more deeply." Weasel said.
Deadpool nodded approvingly.
"Do you want a Locking Tongue Charm, too?" James turned to look at Weasel.
The weasel shut up immediately, and stretched out his hand to make a gesture of zipping his mouth.
"Son, you should take a break, you put too much pressure on yourself." The blind old woman said gently.
"But I entrusted someone else to tell Peter, Wade, you will meet him at his door at night. Since I promised, I will do it. I know it will be difficult for me, but since I have promised Peter, I think the pressure meeting will make me unleash my potential." James felt that he had unleashed a lot of his potential these days.Since he can use wandless magic to transform himself back into a human, he also has the opportunity to change Wade's appearance back to his original appearance.
"That's right, that's true, but you're a little impatient." The blind woman Aier followed the voice and walked towards James, and James quickly reached out to support the old woman, "It's still a long time before night, Just relax and you will succeed.”
"I also feel that I can't find a suitable state." James sighed, he turned his head to look at Deadpool, but his tone was very firm, "But even if I fail, I will take you Go, I believe that my state should be able to successfully give you another petrification, even if it is delayed, I will drag you over."
Deadpool's soft little heart trembled violently, ready to run away.
"If you dare to run away, I'll tell Peter everything about you, a perverted stalker, including the fact that you've been thinking about his charming and cute little butt." James said to death, he would never let Wei De Zai continued to escape like this, "You'd better sit quietly now, and pray that my transformation spell will be successful and useful to you today."
Deadpool sat with an ugly face and made a gesture of prayer to God.
Then the man sat on the chair with the appearance of a good baby, with both hands still neatly placed on his knees.
"How about a glass of wine?" suggested the Weasel.
"...I'm going to get drunk." James said honestly after a pause.
Weasel raised his eyebrows, and then went to get a bottle of wine, "That's also a good state, wine can make people relax."
James stared at the wine and thought for a while, then turned his head to look at Deadpool who was still sitting solemnly, "Okay, let's try."
Sure enough, it did not exceed James' expectations at all, and James was immediately drunk after two glasses of wine.
"Loki is an asshole!"
James, who was on alcohol, blushed drunk and shouted.
"What kind of Madagascar is he, or is he the god of Alaska? How can you say that you just pull people over? I told him that I'm about to graduate soon, yet he still pulls me over at such a critical moment." What about my exam? And, he turned me into a cat? Throwing me on top of the Statue of Liberty?"
"This is the first time we've met! He turned out like this!"
"I've never seen a Slytherin who is more willful and arrogant than Loki!"
Weasel: "I don't think he should be given alcohol."
Blind woman: "I guess I have held back a lot of words in my heart."
Neither the blind woman Elle nor the weasel thought that James, who was drunk, would talk so much. He wanted to talk but couldn't. Deadpool was forced to be silent. It was really unbearable to the extreme. He really wanted to cut off his tongue and grow it again. A new one came out.
"I really can't figure out how I became friends with him, maybe he doesn't regard me as a friend."
"Oh, by the way, he also gave me a twig, which was the worst Slytherin gift I've ever received."
"He also told me that he wants to conquer mankind, and then? I think he is serious. No one knows about it, but I know it. Even if I know, I don't know what to do. Am I going to talk to Peter? Wake up to that Captain America?"
"But what should I say? Hey! Spider-Man, Captain America! There is a god named Loki who is going to rule the earth, so prepare yourself quickly. Merlin! It sounds like no one will believe it. That Karma Taj is even fake."
"Oh, I still have to thank him. When he was about to conquer the human race, he reminded me specifically? What an honor."
Weasel: "...oh, did I just hear some terrible news?"
Blind woman: "Maybe it is a prophecy of the destruction of the world."
James ruffled his hair frantically, with a disheveled hairstyle and a flushed cheek.
"I am the son of the savior, how could I become friends with a god who wants to conquer mankind?"
"I was really looking forward to meeting Loki. I actually wanted to meet him all the time, but definitely not when he was about to rule the earth. If he was really going to do this, would I be hostile to him? I don't want to do that."
James felt a mess in his head, he wanted to see Loki, and he didn't want to see Loki, but he had to face this problem.
It's really annoying!
"It's Loki's problem after all, his brain is worse than Wade's!"
The drunken James pointed at Deadpool, who looked unlovable because he couldn't speak.
Deadpool shrugged indifferently: Is it my fault?
"The more I think about it, the more I get annoyed... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh then I don't understand!"
James screamed, scratching his hair.
"If I had ever met Loki, I'd have stuffed his mouth full of taffy tongue, tied a Weasley whoosh-boom in his hair, and given him a Levitation Charm. All Muggles look up and see how proud and perfect he is!"
Weasel poured a glass of wine tremblingly: "I hope God won't eavesdrop."
Deadpool raised his eyebrows expressionlessly: "..." It might be.
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