lemon balm

A dusty woman came to our house.The creases all over his face showed a ferocious appearance, ferocious and terrifying.She always uses her mother's cosmetics, and her mother is not good at saying anything, just let her mother teach her makeup when she has nothing to do.She always paints her mouth very red, and paints her face very white, like a painted face in an opera, but my mother can't say it, as if she is afraid that she will use it, so she has no choice but to let her do it.

She always opened her mouth and called her mother's name, "Xia! Don't be busy, I'll come and hold a baby." But she was so busy that she could never finish these housework, and her mother had to help her to watch I will do it myself.She is extremely polite.Always say "I don't eat, you eat." Then with a sharp laugh.She looks like her father when she smiles, but she doesn't look like her.Unlike his younger brother, who looks like both his father and his mother, but he does look like four.Only this smile resembles her very much.

"Xia, he's always crying, come and take a look."

Mother had to put down the stove and hurried over.Wipe off the water on your hands, pick me up and wipe my sweat. "You covered him too thickly, no wonder you were crying," he said and unbuttoned my coat.

"Oh, kid, wear thicker clothes, you'll catch a cold easily." She was a little at a loss.

"What's going on here?" My mother pointed to the bruises on my body and asked her.

"I don't know either." She said awkwardly. "Maybe he touched it himself, a child, climbing up and down."

"You..." My mother was so angry that she couldn't speak, her face turned pale and then blue, and she carried me out of the door.

The midday sun was very hot, her face was red with blood, my mother's sweat stained my eyes amid the rapid breathing, and I cried loudly again.The strong sunlight shines on large expanses of sycamore trees, leaving only a small shade.Walking on the whitened cement road, you can clearly see the deformation of the scenery caused by the slow heat transpiration on the road.

The store is very air-conditioned, and the black and white decoration looks a bit cold this time.Mother didn't speak, just sat on the chair.Her face was livid, as if she had been washed by water, and the coolness in the air caused goosebumps, but the atmosphere was still tense.

"Why did you come to the store today? Are you still angry?"

"Hum!" My mother lifted my clothes off, revealing large patches of bruises.

"How did this happen?"

Mother looked at him, her eyes widening.

"how is this possible?"

Mother still didn't speak, but suddenly smiled.Then she said, "You didn't even go to a technical school. Your brother went to high school for four or five years, right?" She looked at her father. "I remember he didn't have a job."

A few days later, during the meal, the old lady said that she would ask her son and wife to help, but the father in the store could not do it alone, he was too tired.In a few days, there were two more people in the family.A noisy old man and a bright-eyed young man.

"Can you give your brother some money?" said the old man. "It's more expensive for him to live outside alone."

"Excluding your two salaries, plus rent, water and electricity, how much can we afford? The child is young, Xia can't work, and the whole family has to support." The father looked embarrassed.

"Then you all have some. Your younger brother is so old and doesn't even have savings, so how can he get married? Let's raise it by three hundred." The more he said, the more excited he became.

"Huh?" My mother finally couldn't help it anymore, "If you don't look at the little work you do, it will cost you three hundred, don't even think about it."

"How do you talk?" He blushed and was very angry. "Have you ever spoken to elders like this?"

"What should I say?" The mother suddenly laughed, "It depends on what you do?" She stared at the old man, who looked like a beggar in his dirty gray coat.

"You don't respect the elders too much, and I don't know which family raised the girl?" The old lady couldn't hold back her smile.

"Which girl? Which one is better than yours. I don't know if it's a human being, but if you attack your own grandson, would a tiger kill you?" Father and mother said, "You start, really think you are their family People, I think you are not their own at all." Then they entered the house.

"Strong, look at your wife..." A burst of abuse.

"Damn, you are shameless. Did you pay a penny when we got married?" After speaking, the mother threw out a slip, which was the father's pre-marriage receipt.Father stopped talking.

"From today on, get the hell out of here." The old lady was about to speak, but was interrupted by her mother, "Look less, what are you looking at, you are the one who beat my son, even at his age, he can really do it And you, you buy this and that for your youngest son all day long, but why haven’t you bought candy for your grandson? The eldest son graduated from junior high school, the second child went to high school, and he has been in high school for four years. Are you so biased?”

The old man's lips trembled angrily, "Shut up and get the hell out of here."

"I'm leaving? Did you pay a penny for this house? You just leave, give me all of it." The mother was rare and tough, as if she had gone crazy, and the father said that after so many years, he had never seen her lose her hair so much temper.

They are gone after all.Under the gaze of the father's tired eyes, one young and two old walked forward and backward.The father looked at the stumbling steps of the old couple, and sighed with some helplessness.

My mother is still doing some housework at home, and occasionally visits the store.She hugged me and walked slowly, panting step by step, her shoulders that were not too wide looked thin.Probably because of living reasons, she is dressed in a very simple way in the photo at this time.The loose aqua blue cotton maternity dress hangs loosely on her body, her face is slightly fatter, and there are not many changes, but the calmness at the corners of her eyes and brows is no longer the teenage girl.

"Hey, the food is good today." Father said briskly.

"I stewed some pork ribs. The price of meat has risen so much recently that I can't afford it anymore." My mother sat with me in her arms, flipped through the ledger, and checked it. "It's said in the news that the expensive pork in Xinjiang is only enough to buy two catties of meat for a month's wages."

"Really? That's an exaggeration." Father had food in his mouth, and his words were slurred.

"This account?" Mother hesitated. "Business is not good recently? The running water has been reduced by half."

"Well. It's not very good."

"Really? The neighbor next door even praised you for your craftsmanship, and the guests lined up." The mother smiled slightly. "On weekdays, the poor business is only [-] to [-]% less, and this time there is no gross profit."

"It's hot and there are few people." The father was a little impatient.

"They took at least two months of running water."

"That's my parents after all."

"Our family can't make it through!" There was another quarrel.In my memory, my parents always quarreled. At first they quarreled in their own room with the door closed, and later they quarreled blatantly.It's nothing more than grandparents taking money from the store again to my uncle.From them taking money in the store to some other things, like grandma never bought me a birthday present, never gave me lucky money, never bought me clothes.But these things made my mother very irritated, and I realized later that it was not irritability, but grievance.

Uncle is 30 years old, and grandma is always busy taking care of him.That being said, I think all moms want the best for their kids, only to find out later that reality is often not what it seems.He doesn't want to work, stays at home all day, doesn't know what he's doing, and the most annoying thing is, he grabs my candy and yogurt.Grandma can really stand him, his house is messy, and every house smells like an old-fashioned toilet.All the neighbors talked about him all the time, and a grown man who did nothing was always criticized.All this ended when he was admitted to a high-quality card or university when I was a teenager.

That day, all the neighbors on the same street went to their house for dinner, saying that they were promising, and they entertained everyone.In the old-fashioned streets, there is no room for tables, so they are all placed under the plane trees.In the breeze, there is a strange smell, but apparently no one cares.All the aunts and grandmas who went there said to their children or grandchildren, look, how promising they are, and they want to be like this uncle when they grow up.One of the old men who seemed to be quite respected said, "If a bird doesn't fly, it will soar into the sky; if it doesn't sing, it will be a blockbuster." The people next to him praised it one after another.But I still can't imagine how powerful that uncle who is in the house all day is.

Just remember that in the midst of everyone's laughter, in this afternoon, it seems that all the past has disappeared.I will probably keep it in my heart.Later, I heard that my uncle went on a blind date. The other party was a nanny, in his thirties, with big eyes and a straightforward smile.I heard that the other party is very interesting to my uncle, but my uncle is unwilling. He is an intellectual, so he naturally looks down on a nanny.I don't know who said this, but it seems quite right.Later, I heard that the female nanny helped a high-ranking official's family raise two children. The family felt grateful and gave her a car and a sum of money.When she returned home, her uncle had already been reported for accepting gifts and lost his job.After all, it is other people's business, their blessings, and has nothing to do with me.

When I was three years old and started kindergarten, my mother started working in the store again.She doesn't talk much and doesn't like to laugh.But will often come to pick me up from school.Stepping on a pair of high heels, her dress was the most elegant and delicate on the way to school.She doesn't like dark clothes, even if it's black, it must be the most dazzling.Her plaid coat is knitted, it is simply draped over her body, and it is really dazzling, just like her gray mopping coat, although it is gray, it must be dazzling in the crowd.A woman's self-confidence is not only a piece of glorious clothes, but also a touch of calmness and confidence. Even if she loses everything later, she is also confident and elegant.Just like the eternal firmness in her eyes, more than a heavy retro makeup and a plaid colored coat can hold up.

As a hairdresser, although my mother is dedicated, she doesn't have enough ability, or talent.Although she learned to cut hair, her skills were not as good as her father's at the beginning.My father studied in a large barber shop and became the head barber a few years later.Although the mother deserved the number one in Lao Xu's place, it was largely due to Lao Xu's cultivation. Although she was not bad as a barber, she was not as talented as Ye Luzi's father.In the beginning, it was so, but after a few years, the situation changed a little bit.Rather than saying that the father is inferior to the mother, it is more appropriate that the mother has improved.Mother will never be left behind, she will learn new things little by little, from cooking skills to skills.

She subtracted her formerly long hair and dyed it a bright flaxen shade, pulling and perming until she had the same translucent texture as in a magazine.I haven't seen her wear the previous clothes, which are probably out of date.Occasionally, she would rummage through the box and drawer to find things, wash them and dry them in the sun.It wasn't until I saw her gauze-like shawl that seemed green and not blue, and blue and not blue, that I realized that she just didn't want to wear it anymore.She also wore makeup as before, and it was getting more and more sophisticated, but she never wore those clothes again.Under the sun, her hair exudes golden light, softly covering her face, very beautiful.

Father's appearance is as young as his craft.The always immature appearance has a little youthful smile, shining some light.It's just that the daily trivialities annoy him after all. Maybe it's the behavior of his parents and younger brother that annoys him, maybe it's the quarrel between his mother and him that makes him tired, maybe it's because he's caught between them that makes him a bad man.In short, he wanted to go back to his hometown to set up a factory on a whim.

Mother didn't know how to think, but agreed.With all the family savings, my father vigorously opened a cement pipe factory in a forest.Two days after the start of work, a large number of people came in police cars, claiming that they were occupying arable land and destroying vegetation without a logging permit, and they were asked to stop working.My father was so busy, he didn't know what to do.I don't know who said: Didn't have a good relationship?Otherwise, why would there be so many things.So I hurriedly found someone, treated guests, and stuffed a lot of money before it was done.After going back and forth, it dragged from spring to summer.The woodland is full of vines and grasses, and they are intertwined, and it is impossible to tell where the original land is.

When all kinds of machines came to this land again, the original traces could no longer be found.After all, the cement pipe factory was built with a bang, and the large factory buildings looked very grand.It's just that the mother is too busy to come to the store. She is busy every day, turning around in the store at home.

Before I knew it, I was already in junior high school.When I was in elementary school, my mother would come to pick me up and go home. Later, when I was older, I went to and from school by myself.I remember that on the way to and from school, there were a large area of ​​sycamore trees, which cast a thick shade in summer, and in autumn, they would drop patches of withered yellow, and then someone would sweep away these fallen leaves and subtract the excess branches.In the winter in the central part, there is always a dry wind.In the bleak autumn wind, junior high school started, and the sun was particularly bright that day, not like autumn, but with the brightness of spring.The new school is not very far away, just a ten-minute walk away.After school, I will go to the store first, go home with my mother, or do my homework in the store.

I walked on this concrete path full of traces of time as usual, and someone was shaking the branches of the sycamore tree, trying to shake the leaves off.I walked very slowly, my clothes were scratched dirty at school, and the girl in the back seat kept misplacing her pen, even though I knew it was expensive, it was not very good.My mother always seemed to be unable to see, and stuffed the clothes into the washing machine indifferently.But she cared about my grades very much, and would yell at me every time I failed in the exam, and then would help me enroll in cram schools during the holidays.This time, she signed up for an English cram school during the summer vacation to help me study in advance so that I would not be too strenuous at school.So, in school, my grades are always good, but it doesn't mean I'm popular. People always use all kinds of words to mock me, as if my grades are robbing them.

Just as I was thinking about it, I heard my mother standing outside the store talking on the phone, probably talking to my father. Her tone sounded like, "I tell you, the family has no money. If you still have a little conscience, you can put The shop is closed, hurry back to look at the store..." My father's factory has never been profitable, and in the past one or two years, he has brought the money from the family to the factory many times.He spent almost all the money his mother earned.

The next day, my father came back with a sad face.His face was ugly, but he squeezed out a embarrassed smile, which made me get goosebumps.I know that he is begging his mother to give him money again. The efficiency in the factory is very poor. His mother persuaded him many times to close the factory and come back to manage the barber shop. .But this time my mother was obviously unwilling to give it any more.Mother sat on the sofa with a livid face and said nothing.Her big skirt reveals a touch of alienation.

My father said everything he said but it didn't work at all, and he also lost his patience.His face was a little ugly.

"It's not that I don't want to give it. Tell me, how much money has been invested in that factory since it started operation? Have you ever paid back a penny?" The mother sat upright, motionless.In fact, the neighbors in the neighborhood said that his father found a mistress outside, so he didn't take a penny from the house.Who knows how those words got out.

"This is the last time!" With a plop, he fell to his knees.

Soon after, my father's factory closed down.Probably caused by poor management.But I heard people say that the factory was originally making money, and my father's second uncle managed the accounts in it, so it was made.I don't know who said it, but there are always people who know. How can anyone not know about the things in this world?After the factory closed down, my father sold the factory, added some money to buy a car, and prepared to sell goods.My uncle earned money by hauling goods in his early years, so this kind of work can probably be considered as a support for the family.

I still go to school by myself every day, and that’s the way it is at school, it’s nothing more than someone hiring parents, someone getting No.1 in the exam, or someone falling in love.None of this has anything to do with me, I'm the one pushed out by them, I don't know why.Probably from the time I took the No.1 exam, maybe it was the time I didn’t borrow homework, or maybe I never got involved in their lives.So I always go to class quietly, leave school alone, and go home alone.The only difference is probably the growing age and increasing loneliness.