In Sunshine or In Shadow

Tian Holland was a small woman, but she had a lot of guns.Of course, if you don't know her well, you can't tell.She was reticent, neatly dressed, and courteous.Her boyfriend's murder, even if Keel and Rick can't dig up any more suspects, they have always treated her with courtesy.When investigating cases, they rarely encountered suspects like Tian Holland.

They didn't have enough evidence to arrest Tian, ​​but she didn't know that.For the third interview, they met at her home in Sherman Oaks.But Tian breaks down, and she pulls a Sturm-Luger from an expensive Chinese vase.

Keel's reflexes were quicker, and before Rick could get up, he jumped at her.Rick heard the gunshot and saw Keel's body twitch.His own heartbeat seemed to stop at that moment, and the whole world seemed to stop.Like a Hitchcock movie, the out-of-control merry-go-round keeps spinning until it falls apart completely.This is how Rick felt at the time, gravity seemed to disappear, his body was thrown into the dark universe, the earth was blown to pieces at that moment, and countless fragments surrounded his body.

It's over, it's over.

But Gere was still standing still, and he snatched the gun.Tian's scream was full of rage and fear, and it sounded like the wailing of a banshee.Kiehl's neck and sport coat were burnt with gunpowder.Other than that, he wasn't hurt, it's just that the coat was just bought, so he was still pissed off.

The sex that night had left them sated.He and Keir are always in harmony in bed, what is the excitement of the other party, and what little tricks can make the other party happy-they have been together for so long, they already know each other very well, and it can be said that no matter what they do, they are very good. Cool.But for Rick, he'd always found it amusing that when it was Kiel, the feeling of having sex suddenly felt fresh.Yes, they've always hit it off in bed, but that night...

But after that, Rick did something stupid.He held Kiel in his arms, and said a lot of things that he would never say from the bottom of his heart.Luckily he hadn't started before Keel fell asleep.The guy never cared about tenderness after he was done, because he was so tense almost every day, so once he relaxed, it was... Only a few people can completely disarm Keel, and Rick knows he is one of them One, he was quite happy.

As morning approached, Rick had been thinking wildly all night.He didn't think it was wise for him to get too close to Keir.As two men, they were too close - the sex only made things elusive.Rick didn't know how to define Keir's relationship with him anymore, and he didn't want to complicate matters.The moment Tian Holland's gun went off, the feeling in his heart... God, he really didn't want to relive it again.

Since there was no secret between him and Keir, Rick told him what he thought.Kiel seemed to accept it calmly, much more calmly than Rick had imagined.To be honest, his unflappable demeanor annoyed Rick a little.Well, after that they interacted... less.No one wants to cause trouble in vain, nor do they want to give the other party the wrong signal.After that, the relationship between the two gradually returned to the way it was before.It's nice and safe.

Then, caught off guard, Keir dropped the news that he was resigning.

After finishing the call in Ireland, Rick went to the bathroom.Last night, he dreamed of his partner, or rather, his soon-to-be ex-partner.That lifelike figure made his lower body hard since he woke up.He licked his hair expertly, and then rinsed it quickly.

Oddly enough, it's only been a few days and he already misses Keir terribly.

Why couldn't Keel talk it over with him first?Not that Rick could make him change his mind, after all he had made up his mind to quit, and Kieran Quinn was the most stubborn guy he'd ever met.

Rick dried himself off quickly.He tossed and turned all night before falling asleep, and when he woke up it was too late, he was going to be late.The news that Keir was leaving California hit him hard.His mood was getting lower and lower.Sometimes, he can't understand Keir's behavior, for example, he has resigned, but he still maintains a friend relationship with Rick.Kiel is simply full of mysteries.Every time, Rick managed to solve a wave, and another wave would hit him head-on.

Leaving California... Of all Kiel's puzzles, this was the hardest one.

Once you leave there is no turning back.Rick may never see Kiel again.

He hadn't seen Kiel for a week, and the feeling of swallowing rat poison was better than this separation.

But what exactly is he going to do?

No idea at all.

Rick looked at the watch in the bedroom and cursed.He wouldn't be late if that Keel guy had come to pick him up like he used to—he couldn't even remember the last time he was late.

Rick buttoned his shirt and zipped up his pants.As he reached for the holster, his mind flashed the last time Keel was in this bedroom, his body sunk in the unkempt sheets, brown skin, long body, languid limbs Stretch.That Keir is alive and complete, he raised his head, looked at Rick with a smile, and stretched out his hand to him...

These are memories that Rick doesn't want to touch.But he couldn't get it out of his head.Gere was the man who stood by his side as he worked on the case, and the man who lay in his arms through the night.Keir's departure means that these two men will disappear from Rick's side together, and his departure will take away everything between them.Isn't this what Rick has always been afraid of?

***

Inishboffin is the most worthwhile place on the whole trip.The other attractions are good too, but nothing compared to Inishboven.Blowholes, sea stacks, relics of pirate bunkers... There are scenery everywhere, and there are scenery worth exploring everywhere.Keir can go it alone and play for as long as he wants, which suits him well.He walks across sandy beaches, among green hills, and hikes to a colony of seals.The sea that surrounds Inishboffin is said to be the clearest in all of Ireland.If Gere could muster up the energy, he could swim or dive.He slept very well on the island.After so long, he slept so soundly for the first time.He also has a good appetite, because the chef at the Dunmore Hotel is very good, and he happens to like seafood.

On the third night, his last on the island, Keel sat on a rock overlooking a meadow beyond where the cows looked tame as they wandered among the grass.After a long time, Kiel finally calmed down.For the first time since his decision to leave the LAPD and Rick, he's not stuck with his choices.

It was not easy to get to this point, and his heart was still hurting.But during these few days on the island, he felt... In fact, everything is going through the same ups and downs.Sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses, but life goes on - and one day, he too will find his happiness.Sitting in the Irish sunset, listening to the high-pitched chirping of a crake to the evening nocturne, Keir gradually took root in his mind.

By the time he walked back to the hotel, it was almost dark.Several tourists traveling with him are sitting on the grass, overlooking the sea while enjoying the performance of the local orchestra.A brown-haired girl was singing "Danny Boy ①" to the accompaniment, some musicians were playing the guitar, some were playing the violin, and some were blowing the whistle.Although Gere knew it must be an American tourist's song, this one was the most beautiful "Danny Boy" he had ever heard.

①Danny Boy, Irish folk song.

When the summer comes to an end, when the flowers are about to wither

You, you're going away, but I'm here to stay

When summer comes to the meadows,

When the snow covers the quiet valley, you will always return

In the sun, in the shadows, I'll wait

Oh boy Danny, oh boy Danny, I love you so much.

In the past, Keel always felt that this was a bland ditty, not really Irish music.But that night, amidst the sound of the waves and the chirping of seabirds, the simple tune and lyrics were so moving that he even choked up when he listened to it.But it’s okay to show your true emotions occasionally, right?Keir remembered his Irish roots and his adventurous forebears, who left their tough, unyielding beauty behind and embarked on a journey to the New World.In his mind, the past and reality suddenly intersected like this...

Probably, from now on, every time he hears "Danny Boy", he will inevitably choke up.Rick would die laughing if he knew.

Then he remembered, like this night, this island... Rick will soon be a memory too.It's just that Rick will be the most important part of his memories compared to other things.

Or maybe he wasn't that important.Maybe one day he will look away, but now, missing is like grief that will never heal.Although his story already had a doomed end at the beginning.Ah, why didn't he see it?Why didn't you guard your heart well?Which part of Rick's love history lasted more than a few months?Which part of his own relationship is long-term?

It's just that he... he didn't have a choice.He was in love with Rick almost from the beginning.

Whether it's hiding deep in my heart, or confessing to Rick.

The music ended and people wandered off to their homes and hotels to get ready to join the evening's festivities.There are musical performances almost every night on the island throughout the summer.

Keel heads to his hotel.

***

Even lobster tastes different in Ireland than elsewhere.Keir and his fellow passengers first enjoyed a delicious seafood dinner, then went to the hotel's entertainment hall to enjoy traditional music performances, and immediately danced the kerry in the hotel bar.Except for the tour group, everyone in the hotel seemed to have an instrument, and everyone either knew how to play it or had a good voice.Besides traditional Irish folk songs, Emmelo Harris ② and country western music are also very popular here.

②EmmyLouHarris, a veteran American country music singer.

Gere went to the bar to buy drinks for himself and the two ladies from Milwaukee, Kelly and Chris.He found the bartender watching him.

The moment the two looked at each other, it seemed...a light flashed across his old "Kida".Keel had noticed the bartender before—a very handsome young man, known to everyone as Seamus.Seamus has curly red hair and brown eyes, and he has an easygoing smile and a good laugh.He was nothing like the dark, tall, handsome Rick.

"Would you like another drink?" Seamus asked him.For some reason, his accent made him extra charming.

Kiel nodded, reaching for his wallet.When he looked up, he saw Seamus staring at him.Seeing Keel staring back at him, he grinned.

"Are you the policeman?"

Seeing Keir's bitter face, Seamus laughed.

"I asked about you," he admitted.These words caught Kiel's attention. "What do you think of our island?"

"It's beautiful." Keel was not good at chatting with people, but he still tried his best to think about the topic. "Have you lived here all this time?"

Seamus smiled. "I used to be a stockbroker. I came from Dublin. Then I didn't want to be in that bottomless business, so I settled here. I used to come here for holidays."

"It must have changed a lot."

"Ah, I'm afraid it can't be changed." Seamus counted out the change for Kiel, and blinked his eyes by the way.

Is this some sort of pun?Or... Keel said slowly: "Isn't that saying 'I'm afraid there's no chance'?"

"That's right, but this...may change." Seamus kept laughing, but his eyes were fixed on Kiel, and the meaning was self-evident.

Keel swallowed. "What time do you leave work?"

There was a little more helplessness in Seamus's smile. "It depends on when the concert ends." He nodded to a room full of musicians, singers and tourists. "With so many people...it might be two or three o'clock in the morning." Then, he added: "But your boat won't leave until 11:30 tomorrow."

Keel returned to the small table with the wine in a daze, where Kelly and Chris were sitting there waiting for him to come back.

"Made new friends?" Kelly asked him, and Chris smiled.

A tourist group ordered "Danny Boy", and the musicians on the island played a long pure music version as requested, and the tourists sang along-although it was a bit out of tune.

"In the sun, in the shadows, I'll wait..."

Chris held her head in pain.

The door of the bar opened and there were new guests.The waves brought in a fresh breeze.

"When——— summer comes to the grassland..." the singers sang loudly.

As if in a movie, the camera in the distance suddenly zooms in.At the other end of the camera is Rick, standing in the doorway, his dark hair ruffled by the night wind, his eyes scanning the crowd in the bar.

"Wow," Chris said. "James Bond is here."

"I ... just ... can't believe it," Keel said.

His friend looked first at him, then at the newcomer.But this was the last time Keel turned his attention to the two ladies from Milwaukee.He stood up to meet Rick's gaze.

The expression on Rick's face at this moment seemed to make Kiel have been waiting for a long time.It might be five years, it might be a lifetime.

Chairs, guests, and instruments huddled together in the bar, and Rick trudged forward, and Keir moved to meet him, and after a long time, the two finally came face to face, touching each other carefully. The other party's fingers, and then ten fingers were tightly intertwined.

"What are you doing here?" Keel asked.

Rick laughed. "Isn't that my line?"

"You can't just come to the island, when did you come here?"

"It took me a long time to find you at three o'clock this afternoon."

"That's why you still have the nerve to call yourself Inspector."

"Don't you know? The island is five miles long, and there are five villages, five small hotels, and three hotels. But you can miss the little houses in the blink of an eye." Rick leaned over, and Kiel Suddenly realized: This is their first kiss in public.It was the last waking thought in his mind during those long seconds.

He felt the warmth of his lips and smelled the aftershave, which was almost imperceptible.Rick needs a shower and a shave.But to Gere, Rick smelled like... bright sunshine, gun oil, rain in Los Angeles, wind blowing in through the open car window, the flare on his sunglasses, a flash of police... Hui Hui, countless hamburgers and beers, long talks all night, and a shy smile the next morning... Keel remembered that he was hugged tightly by the person he loved, and he said that only He is the most important, he is the only one in his life.

After the kiss was over, he heard applause, some people were laughing, some people were cheering.But it doesn't matter, these people are friends.

Rick looked around the bar, Keel also looked around, behind the bar, Seamus disappeared.He felt a tinge of regret.Not for himself, but for Seamus.A comrade living on such a small island must be very lonely.

Rick asked, "Can we find a place to talk?"

"You want to talk?" Keel raised an eyebrow. "I didn't expect you to still want to talk."

"No, I heard a joke and wanted to tell you about it."

Kiel nodded patiently. "Let's talk."

"Two Irish policemen walked into a pub. The first policeman said..." Rick's voice dropped, his voice a little gruff, "I love you. Come back."

Keir pretended to be calm and asked, "What did the other policeman say?"

Rick's sweet smile tapped Keel's chest. "Boy, I came here just to find the answer."

-The End-

About the author

Josh Lanyon is a popular writer of BL novels in the United States. He is famous for his rich and prolific themes. His masterpiece "Adrien English series" with suspense themes can be said to be the most well-known works in the contemporary English BL circle. Josh Lanyon is good at portraying the emotional interaction between mature men, her writing is reserved and subtle, and she has a strong ability to shape the atmosphere; she especially likes portraying the roles of policemen or secret agents, and the main story line is mostly suspenseful and detective.