[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Xu Xian felt very depressed. He was so awesome just now, but he didn't look handsome at all.

He asked on the spot: "My Lady Queen! Why am I in this shape? It's fine if there are cracks, but can't you just brush me when you wash the dishes? There's still mud on the plate!"

The queen mother said: "I can't blame me for this. When Pangu created the world, you were damaged due to pressure, so you always have cracks. Later, in order to transform you into a human form and send you to future generations, Empress Nuwa used her The mud that made people filled your cracks. Don’t try to wash off the mud, or you will suffer.”

Xu Xian was unhappy and could only reluctantly accept the fact that he was a mess.

The Queen Mother said again: "But you don't have to worry too much, the mud on your body can't be washed off with ordinary water."

Xu Xian still cherished his life, he asked: "Then do I have to handle it with care? What if I crack?"

The queen mother laughed, "How come? Unless Pangu opens up the world again, you can't be broken. But... When you go to the Shang Dynasty, most of your abilities will be used to travel through time and space, so you are still an ordinary mortals have no magic power."

Erlang God took the opportunity to take advantage, "During the Battle of the Conferred Gods, my seniority and ability were not as good as they are now. I'm afraid I won't be able to protect Xu Xian. Why don't you give him some magic weapons for self-defense?"

Xu Xian also watched eagerly, and the Queen Mother sighed, "I want to give it to you! Unfortunately, the treasure is given to you, and you can't take it away. The only thing that can travel through time and space is the good fortune jade plate. Yang Jian, you can go back with it because Your soul supports the good fortune jade plate. You can't take other things outside your body with you."

Xu Xian cursed in his heart, what can't be taken away!The queen mother is just picky!

"Xu Xian, how much do you know about the Battle of the Conferred Gods?" the Queen Mother asked.

Xu Xian thought for a while, "Well... I almost forgot."

The queen mother sighed again, "I sent you to the future generations just to let you know about those myths and stories, but I didn't expect you to forget them all!"

Xu Xianli said bluntly: "Don't blame me! Do you know how confusing the myth system of mortals is? Some people say that you popped out by yourself, and others said that you were born by others. Some even said that Erlang God and Su Daji are A couple! Why should I remember that kind of spicy chicken plot?"

The queen mother had a headache from his quarrel, she waved her hand, "That's all! You and Erlang God go to the back bedroom and lie down, and you can go back to the Shang Dynasty after a while."

Xu Xianluoli asked nonchalantly: "Are you leaving now? But I'm not ready for anything! I've never been an emperor, and I've never fought a war. What if I'm worse than King Zhou? Why don't you be so perfunctory? Madam, have you had any pre-job training? I'm so nervous!"

The queen mother pressed her forehead, her face full of helplessness.God Erlang grabbed Xu Xian to comfort him, "Don't be afraid! When you go over there, just eat, drink and have fun. Do you think that such a big thing as changing the world will be left to you alone? Those saints will plan behind the scenes, you just Provide them with a game board. Let's go there to play once, you just need to be a big fool, you should win the Battle of Xiqi, and you will win."

The Queen Mother reminded God Erlang, "Zhenjun Erlang, I heard everything you said."

Erlangshen smiled nonchalantly, "It doesn't matter what your mother heard, you also know in your heart that everyone wants to fight for the greatest benefit, and it's not so easy to succeed."

The Queen Mother smiled, "If it wasn't for Feifeng, I really don't want to get involved in these things."

God Erlang dragged Xu Xian to the apse, when he suddenly asked, "My mother never thought about..."

The queen mother said softly: "She said that you and the San Shengmu are her pride, and she will not give up on you."

Erlang Shen lowered his head and smiled, Xu Xian stretched out five fingers to interlock with his.The two of them lay side by side on a white jade bed, and the Queen Mother stood in front of the bed and made handprints.

"Get ready," the Queen Mother said softly, "It's about to start!"

Xu Xian felt drowsiness hit him, he held Erlang Shen's hand tightly, closed his eyes and fell into a dream.

The bed was so soft and the quilt so thin, Xu Xian turned over comfortably, lying on his side with his buttocks stuck out.

Why?Are Erlang's calves so slippery?After a few more rubs, Xu Xian closed his eyes and smiled wretchedly.Hey, Xiao Erlang, really, why don't you wear clothes when you sleep.

"My lord, my lord! What did you dream about, why are you so happy?"

A woman was lying in Xu Xian's ear and talking delicately, Xu Xian felt that something was wrong.He opened his eyes, and saw a woman with apricot face and peach cheeks, eyes full of autumn water, looking at him affectionately.Xu Xian was so frightened that he kicked the woman under the bed.

"Oh! Your Majesty, what are you doing? You hurt me!" The woman lay on the ground in pain, Xu Xian grabbed the thin quilt tightly and wrapped herself tightly.

At this moment Xu Xian remembered that he was now King Zhou.Being able to lie naked on the bed with King Zhou, he probably guessed who this woman was. "Bold! My lord... the widow wants to kick you, do you need a reason?"

The woman looked up at the king, frowned slightly, her eyes seemed to contain infinite sorrow and resentment, "My lord...does it mean that the king despises the appearance of his concubine Pu Liu, has he already disliked his concubine?"

Xu Xian: "..." If you look like a willow, then I'm just a soggy potato that's been sitting there for a few months.

"That's right!" Xu Xian said, "I'm tired of looking at your awl-faced face! From today onwards, you will be sidelined!"

The woman's complexion changed, she got up from the ground, and she didn't care if her important parts were seen.Xu Xian tightly covered his eyes, thinking do not see evil!

"Aren't you Di Xin?" the woman asked lightly.

Xu Xian's heart skipped a beat, he put down his hands, and saw that the woman was already wearing a bright red gauze, leaning on the head of the bed.

"Bold! Talk nonsense and deceive the crowd! Someone! Drag her out!"

The woman sneered, and her white and slender fingers turned into sharp claws.Xu Xian saw that with a light wave of her hand, a large piece of the head of the bed was cut off.

Xu Xian said timidly, "Sister Daji, we are all on our own, so don't be impulsive."

Daji became a little interested, "Oh? You know me? How do you know that we are together, and who sent you?"

"I was also sent by Empress Nuwa! She asked me to help you harm Tang Jiye together." Xu Xian lied. He didn't want to be killed by the Nine-Tailed Fox before he was successful.

Daji was cautious, she did not believe Xu Xian.But she still said: "Little brother, I believe in you." After speaking, she was about to fall softly into Xu Xian's arms.

Xu Xian backed away, "Why don't we just stop at the ordinary relationship with colleagues? I already have a boy I like."

Daji sneered and flung his sleeves away, "Hmph! Cut off your sleeves."

Xu Xian went down to the ground, put on his clothes, combed his hair, and went to the front hall.Xu Xian asked: "Sister Su, how do you know that I'm not the real Di Xin?"

Daji crossed her legs and said boldly: "I have slept with him in the same bed for so long, can I not know if he has been dropped?"

Xu Xian suddenly said, "Oh! That's it!" What he said was true, if Erlang Shen was switched, he would definitely be aware of it.

Daji picked up the jug on the table and poured herself a glass of wine. She shook the jug, "Hey! Do you want some?"

Xu Xian waved his hand, "I don't know how to drink."

Daji sneered, "What kind of man are you if you don't know how to drink?"

Xu Xian: "I'm considered...a good man who doesn't drink!"

Daji: "..." She held the wine glass and sighed, "Forget it, it's really boring. Do you know where the real Di Xin is?"

Xu Xian pretended to be innocent, "I'm sorry, Sister Su, I'm just a worker, and my mother won't tell me about specific things."

Daji drank the wine in the glass, "That's right! People like us... are just things that come and go when they are called."

Xu Xian filled Daji with wine, "Sister Su, are you still thinking about Di Xin?"

Daji drank the wine dry, with a bit of melancholy in her tone, "At any rate, we've been together for so long, and he treats me well..."

Xu Xian persuaded: "Sister Su, he used to be very kind to other concubines. But look, since he had you, how unfeeling he has been to the old man! Although you are the most beautiful woman in the world, if there is One day, if you don't look good, he will be very unfeeling to you!"

Daji was silent for a while, "That's right..." She smiled self-deprecatingly, "If I fall out of favor one day, those ministers will put all the shit on my head. It would kill me too."

Xu Xian poured her wine in a doggy manner, "Sister Su is really a sensible person!"

"Your Majesty." A waiter shouted outside the door, "A Taoist named Yang Jian asked to see him. The Taoist was very rampant. He said that as long as the King listens to his name, he will naturally meet him."

Xu Xian was overjoyed when he heard this, "Go, ask the Taoist priest to go to the Shouxian Palace, and the widow will greet you in person! Don't be negligent!"

Daji asked in surprise: "Who is Yang Jian? Why have I never heard of his name?"

Xu Xian punched Daji's chest shyly, "You hate it! Yang Jian is my date, and he came to see me!"

Daji covered her chest and coughed twice, "Get out! You are a strong man, you are so disgusting! Let's go! I will change my clothes and follow you to meet your little lover!"

Xu Xian walked happily to Shouxian Palace, Daji followed behind him.If it wasn't for the fear of collapse, Xu Xian would even jump up happily.

Kojiro is here!His backstage is here!This time he is not afraid that Su Daji will violently hurt others!

Arriving at the Shouxian Palace, as soon as Xu Xian entered, he saw Yang Jian standing in the center of the hall. He was wearing a hydration robe, a golden silk sash around his waist, and hemp shoes on his feet.Xu Xian looked at it and smiled slightly, so it turned out that Xiao Erlang was like this before!Look vibrant!

He said solemnly: "I have heard of Daoist Yang's name for a long time. When I saw him today, the Daoist is indeed extraordinary and extraordinary."

Yang Jian nodded lightly, "Your Majesty, I'm sorry."

"It's really my luck to get such a talent as the Taoist priest! Please stay in the palace first, the Taoist priest, and I will arrange a residence for you outside the palace." He turned his head and told the waiter, "Go and arrange the banquet, my widow I want to have a few drinks with Daoist Yang!"

The banquet was quickly set up, and except for Daji who stayed as a companion, everyone else was arranged outside the hall and were not allowed to approach at will.

Xu Xian leaned over to Erlang Shen and hugged him, "Come on! Little brother, let me hug you."

Daji looked disgusted, "You are almost done, is it disgusting!"

Xu Xian said angrily: "Is transvestite so great? Why do you discriminate against homosexuals?" He leaned in front of Erlang Shen, "Come on, brother Zhenjun, let's kiss her to death!"

Erlang Shen gently pushed him away, "I don't think I should. I really can't kiss this bearded face!"

Daji laughed mercilessly at the side.

Xu Xian: ...Didn't you agree?You love only my soul!