[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

"Master, have you heard of Amway?"

Fa Hai shook his head, "Amway? Is it some kind of sect?"

Xu Xian held his chin and thought for a while, "It's about the same!"

Fa Hai said honestly, "I've never heard of it, so please give me advice."

Xu Xian held the bun and said: "Since you haven't heard it, I'll tell you about it. ** is my belief, and the core values ​​of socialism are my code of conduct. I don't talk about cause and effect, nor do I talk about past and future lives. .I only strive to build a socialist harmonious society. Master, I have said so much, do you understand?"

Fa Hai shook his head honestly, "I don't understand, what is **? What are the core values ​​of socialism? Please ask the benefactor to clarify for me."

Xu Xian waved his hand, "You don't need to know these things. In short, no one can change my status as a successor of socialism. You must know that I am the first batch whether I join the Young Pioneers or the Communist Youth League! My neck will always be Wearing a bright red scarf! Master, I still have something to do, so I will take my leave.”

Fahai chased after him and asked, "But benefactor, there are still many things you haven't explained clearly to me!"

Xu Xian said impatiently: "What are you talking about so clearly? I don't have time! Besides, not everyone can be our socialist successor. Let me tell the truth, master, don't be too sad, you are old and too old I can't be a successor anymore."

Fa Hai was stunned by Xu Xian, "Benefactor, you haven't explained what socialism is after talking for a long time. And you don't understand Buddhism, how do you know that Buddhism is inferior to socialism?"

"Master, this is your fault. They are all philosophies. Can't you treat them as equals? Why do you have to distinguish between good and bad? With your behavior of looking down on other beliefs, I don't think you are a good person." Monk. I really can't talk to you anymore, my buns are cold."

Fahai ran up to him and stopped, "Sponsor, one last question, I want to ask, what does what you said have anything to do with Amway?"

Xu Xian thought for a while, "Well...it doesn't matter, I just mentioned a topic, how can I start my performance without mentioning Amway? Goodbye, master, I wish you good health, and you can eat small wontons every day."

Xu Xian was afraid that Fa Hai would ask questions again, so he ran away with the buns in his hand.

Running to the county government office, Xu Xian saw Erlang Shen lying on the roof of the county government office basking in the sun.

"Your favorite mushroom stuffing and pumpkin stuffing."

Erlangshen conjured up a reclining chair and a small table. The roof was sloping, but the reclining chair and the small table stood firmly in the air.

"Did you eat breakfast? Are you still feeling dizzy?"

The reclining chair was covered with soft cushions, and Xu Xian lay on it. The chair swayed twice in mid-air, as if sitting on a huge balloon.

"I've eaten, and this is for you. Do you know who I saw when I bought the buns just now?"

Erlang's expression turned serious, "Did you meet the white snake?"

"No! I met Fa Hai!"

As long as it's not Bai Suzhen, Erlang's expression softened a lot, and he asked, "Who is Fa Hai?"

"This is a child without a mother. It's a long story. In the story of the White Snake, there is a big villain. He has been clamoring for a different way to be a monster, destroying the relationship between Xu Xian and Bai Suzhen. Bai Suzhen gave birth to a child, and she was reluctant to bear the child." Mr. He, he refuses to become a fairy anymore. This villain, that is, Fa Hai, arrested Bai Suzhen and pinned her to the bottom of the Leifeng Pagoda. Oh! By the way, Fa Hai is a monk!"

Erlang Shen nodded in satisfaction, "It seems that Fa Hai is a well-rounded monk."

Xu Xian said dissatisfiedly: "How can a monk like to eat small wontons? And he has been persuading me to become a monk just now! I don't want to be a monk!"

Erlangshen's attitude changed immediately, and he dared to poach his corner, "Sure enough, the monk doesn't have a good thing." Just like Bai Suzhen.

Xu Xian squeezed a shiitake mushroom bun and ate it slowly, "Did the county magistrate find someone to get rid of the demon?"

"I found it. Several Taoist priests came here just now. But they are all charlatans. I just blew the wind a few times, and they were scared away."

Xu Xian listened to Erlang God's words, squeezed the buns and ate up the mushroom buns one by one.

Erlang shook the empty paper bag, "Didn't you say you have eaten?"

Xu Xian said innocently: "You have eaten in the morning too! I bought this as a snack."

"Such a big bun as a snack?"

Xu Xian nodded firmly, "Yes! One is a dessert and the other is a salty dessert."

Erlang Shen rubbed his temples, Xu Xian poked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Erlang Shen sighed: "Let me calculate how much money I have, is it enough for you to eat?"

Xu Xian was upset, "Stingy! If you don't have enough money, I'll sell you for buns!"

"Zen Master, please help us take a look. Ku Yin was stolen, and the case has not been solved. The county can't explain it to the higher authorities!"

Hearing the voice of the magistrate, Xu Xian stood up from the soft chair, walked to the edge of the eaves and looked down.

"My lord, don't worry, please take the poor monk to the warehouse to have a look."

Xu Xian beckoned to Erlang, "The county magistrate just found another monk."

Erlang Shen lacked interest, "The monk will not be better than the Taoist priest, don't worry, they can't catch those two snake demons."

Xu Xian walked back and tugged at his sleeve, "No! The person who came is Fa Hai, he still has some skills."

"Who's here?"

"It's the monk Fahai who just persuaded me to become a monk!"

Erlang Shen jumped off the deck chair, stood on the eaves and looked down.Standing beside the magistrate was a young and handsome monk. He had a kind demeanor and spoke politely.

Erlang snorted coldly in his heart, it turned out that this was the monk who persuaded Xu Xian to become a monk.

The county magistrate took Fahai to the warehouse. Fahai strolled around the warehouse for a few times. He nodded, "There is indeed a demonic aura here." He sniffed, "It feels like a snake demon."

The county magistrate was greatly impressed, "Zen Master, you are indeed an eminent monk. I have found several Taoist priests, but they are all charlatans who come to cheat money!"

Xu Xian and Erlangshen praised: "Zen Master Fahai really has some skills. He immediately saw that the thief was a snake demon. I have studied with you for so long, but I am still not as good as him!"

Erlang said blankly: "What's so great? He just has a good nose. Any dog ​​I can find is better than him."

Xu Xian looked at him strangely, "You seem to hate him so much!"

Erlang Shen turned his head, "No, I didn't hate anyone on purpose."

Erlang God set up an enchantment, Fahai's magic power is profound, but he is a mortal after all, and he didn't realize that there were two people behind him commenting on him.He walked around the silver vault a few times, touched the lid of the silver box, and touched the lock of the warehouse door.

After checking all the details, Fahai clasped his hands together and said the Buddha's name, "Amitabha, my lord, the poor monk already has some ideas in his mind about where to go to catch the thief. Please wait in the government office, the poor monk will return as soon as he goes."

The county magistrate repeatedly cupped his hands, "Thank you Zen Master Fahai, I will wait for the good news!"

The county magistrate kept sending Fa Hai outside the gate. Xu Xian was not convinced when he saw it, "This county magistrate just doesn't take care of it. My brother-in-law works hard. He doesn't thank him, but he is respectful to a monk."

Erlang patted him on the shoulder, "Don't worry, it's fine if the monk doesn't find the green snake and the others later. If he finds it, I will stop him from catching the monster."

Xu Xian said: "Let's go and have a look first, let's play by ear!"

Fahai neither took a boat nor hired a carriage. He dragged a very ordinary alms bowl in his hand and walked towards Hangzhou city step by step.His steps were not big, and his walking was very leisurely, but Xu Xian observed carefully that his feet did not step on the ground at all, but his body moved forward quickly.It was already noon, the sun was very hot, and Fahai didn't sweat at all while walking on the road.

A trace of appreciation rose in Erlangshen's heart, this monk has some abilities, he should have been practicing hard and never slack off.He said to Xu Xian, "You should learn from this monk. He has a good foundation. It can be seen that he has practiced hard since he was a child."

Xu Xian knew that Erlangshen was talented and strict with himself, so he appreciated people who worked hard.He said unhappily: "What's the big deal? I'm working hard too!"

Erlangshen squeezed the soft flesh on his waist, "You touch the flesh on your stomach and then say this, I want you to fast, but you just refuse."

Xu Xian said guiltily: "I can't fly up, so what's the use of bigu. I think you've just seen enough of my old face, and you deliberately find fault with me!"

Erlang Shen: "...you seem to be eighteen today."

Xu Xian rolled his eyes at him, "Anyway, you're just tired of me, you heartless man!"

The two secretly followed Fa Hai, flirting and flirting on the road were not boring.

The three came to Shuangcha Lane, Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing were sitting in the room, picking flowers and playing boredly.Erlang God didn't let them repay their favor, and they didn't know what to do.

Fahai was standing at the gate of Prince Qiu's Mansion, just about to speak some jargon before catching monsters, but Xu Xian suddenly jumped to his side and stopped him, "Master, I have something to ask, please take a step to speak."

Fa Hai said with a smile: "Sponsor, have you made up your mind? Are you planning to become a monk?"

"No, I don't go out. I can't forget socialism, and I can't forget Amway Nutrilite. The thing is, the two snake demons who live here have some problems with me. Can you not take them away?"

Fa Hai said in embarrassment: "I'm afraid it won't work. The poor monk has already agreed to Mr. Yang. You can't trust your words!"

Xu Xian thought for a while, "Master, I beg you, just ask if you have any requests, and I will try my best to satisfy you."

Fahai smiled and said, "If the benefactor can go back to Jinshan Temple with the poor monk, the poor monk will promise you anything."

Erlang God can't bear it anymore, smelly monk!Come to poach the wall again! "He is my man, he cannot become a monk."

Fa Hai looked at Erlang God and frowned. This man looked like an ordinary person, but Fa Hai was afraid of him from the bottom of his heart. What's going on?

Erlang Shen said: "You can ask for anything you want, but Xu Xian will never become a monk with you."

Fa Hai thought for a while, "The poor monk doesn't need anything. The benefactor Xu doesn't want to become a monk, and the poor monk will not force it, but the poor monk will still accept the snake demon who stole Ku Yin."

There was a lot of noise outside, Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing had been eavesdropping on it for a long time.Hearing Fa Hai said that he wanted to take the demon, Xiaoqing jumped out angrily and said: "Smelly monk, I just took a few ingots of silver, why are you meddling in my own business to take me away! Besides, the silver I stole has already been handed over to the policeman." Erlang is a god."

Xu Xian looked at Erlang Shen in surprise.Bai Suzhen nodded, "Xu Xianggong, Xian Jun came over last night and indeed took Ku Yin away."

Xu Xian didn't expect Erlang God to keep a little secret from him!You can talk about Erlangshen's affairs after you get home, and you can't make people laugh in front of outsiders. He raised his neck and pretended not to care, and said, "Uh...he, he just took it back! You took ill-gotten gains. , I can’t put Ku Yin with you!”

Xu Xian turned his head and said to Fa Hai: "Master, my brother-in-law is the head catcher of the yamen, and Ku Yin was stolen. My brother-in-law worked diligently to catch the thief. Not only did Master Yang not understand his hard work, he also abused him wantonly and beat him up. I can't Seeing my brother-in-law being humiliated, if Master Yang wants to catch the thief, he must apologize to my brother-in-law."

Xiaoqing said unhappily: "Hey! Xu Xian, are you like this? I stole some money, so you don't have to hand him over to that foolish county magistrate?"

Xu Xian sighed, "God Erlang just took Ku Yin away, and if he didn't kill you, it means he wants to let you go. As long as I help you return Ku Yin, you and Bai Suzhen will be fine."

Fa Hai said: "Xu Xianggong, when will the grievance be repaid? Your brother-in-law worked under Master Yang and failed to protect Ku Yin, which means that he is destined to suffer such a catastrophe. You should calm down and let the poor monk lead these two monsters away." let's go!"

Fahai's words angered Xu Xian, and he scolded: "Fahai, don't tell me when it's time to repay the grievances? Will let him go! But since I have the ability to vent my anger on my brother-in-law now, I can’t let my brother-in-law get a beating for nothing! I beg you kindly, but if you refuse to agree, if you have the ability, you will follow me and Erlangshen Take the green snake and white snake away!"

Xu Xian stood in front of Bai Suzhen, and Bai Suzhen said emotionally, "Mr. Xu, thank you for protecting me. This is the second time you have saved me."

Erlang God squinted his eyes and looked at Bai Suzhen with a hostile expression, Xu Xian consciously moved aside, "Eldest sister, don't be too moved, I didn't do all this for you."

Bai Suzhen: "..."

In fact, Fa Hai is not absolutely sure that he can subdue Bai Suzhen, and with Erlang God blocking him, Fa Hai thought about it, but gave up on catching the monster. "Xu Benefactor, since you have already said this, the poor monk is not as good as a human being, so the matter of catching monsters can only be done. However, these two snake demons are walking in the world of mortals, I am afraid that more disasters will arise, Xu Benedict Is there a countermeasure?"

Xu Xian said: "You don't have to worry about the two of them, I will let them do long-term work in my house."

Xiaoqing pointed to her nose and shouted dissatisfiedly: "Long-term workers? You let us two delicate girls work as long-term workers?"

Xu Xian had a cold face, "Being a long-term worker, raising pigs for me, and being captured by Fahai, you choose one of these three paths! People at the lowest end of the food chain are not qualified to speak."

When things turned out like this, Fahai felt that this was already the best result.

"There are benefactors and gods looking at the two snake demons, and the poor monk is relieved, and the poor monk bids farewell."

Holding the alms bowl in his hands, Fa Hai walked away slowly.Xu Xian said to Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing, "Tomorrow morning, go to the Qiantang County Office and wait. If you dare to escape, you will raise pigs!"

After comforting Fa Hai and the two snake demons, Xu Xian called Erlang God to leave, and said in a low voice, "If you dare to come secretly to find the snake demons, let's see how I deal with you when I get home!"