[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

The Taishang Laojun took away his green cow, and the matter of the monster was temporarily resolved.For this result, Tang Seng was not very satisfied.

The personnel department of Tianting is not only responsible for the recruitment of immortals, but also responsible for their departure.Although Qingniu Jing is not in the establishment of Tianting, if he wants to leave Taishang Laojun, the personnel department can also intervene to mediate.

As for whether Taishang Laojun will let him go, that is not a question at all!There are many monsters who want to learn from Taishang Laojun!What is it to be a mount? One green bull spirit is gone, and ten green bull spirits will make up for it.

In the end, Qingniujing just wanted to play in the lower realm for a few years while Taishang Laojun was not paying attention, and when he had enough, he could return to the heaven and continue to be his mount.Want to be free, but also want to occupy the pit of the heaven, how can there be such a good thing in the world.

Tang Seng muttered to Yang Jian and complained, and Yang Jian said, "Qingniu descends to the realm, don't you really know that you are an old gentleman?"

"When Qingniu left, he was reluctant, so it must not be Laojun who let him go down to the realm?"

Yang Jian said: "Of course the old gentleman will not give instructions directly, but how could it be such a coincidence that Tong'er, who watched the cow, fell asleep after taking a pill?"

Tang Seng said: "You mean, Taishang Laojun saw that Qingniu had the intention of going down to earth, so he pushed the boat along with the current and tricked us?"

"Yes! Not only did he trick us, but when he brings Qingniu back, he also has a reason to clean up Qingniu and let Qingniu stay in Tushita Palace to work for him. Killing two birds with one stone is a very clever trick." .”

Tang Seng shook his head again and again, "This old man is really scheming! Too scheming!"

"No way!"

Tang Seng felt that he was at a disadvantage. After thinking about it for a long time, he felt that he could not bear this tone.

He greeted the three apprentices, "Let's not join Wujing and Honghai for now! Master will take you to do some bad things!"

Tang Seng and others found a Taoist temple with a lot of incense, and the main hall of the Taoist temple enshrines Sanqing.

Lying on the eaves of the main hall and poking his head out, Tang Seng gestured to Monkey King.Monkey King and Xiao Bailong went to the firewood room in the backyard, they picked up some firewood, and Xiao Bailong blew on the firewood and lit it.

The firewood was a little wet, the flames ignited, and a puff of black smoke shot straight into the sky.Sun Wukong turned into a Taoist priest, pulled out a hair and turned into a gong.He rushed out of the backyard, knocking on the gong, "Come on! The backyard is flooded, put out the fire!"

The Taoist priests in the Taoist temple ran to the backyard one after another, and there was no one in the main hall in front.Zhu Bajie didn't know where he found the pen and ink. Tang Seng took a wolf brush and dipped it in ink and wrote a line of big characters on the statue of Taishang Laojun: Taishang Laojun is a good-hearted man, cheating and abducting and even fighting cocks!

The Taoist priests all led to the backyard, and Monkey King and Little White Dragon returned to Tang Seng.Yang Jian stretched out his hand and tapped on the statue, and cast a small spell so that the line of writing would not be erased by the Taoist priests.

Tang Seng put away his pen and ink, whistled, and greeted Monkey King and the others.As for the expressions of the group of Taoist priests when they saw the statue of Taishang Laojun, Tang Seng was not interested.

Tang Seng, who consciously took revenge on Taishang Laojun, was very happy. Sun Wukong asked: "Master, can Taishang Laojun feel it when you write on the statue?"

Tang Seng said cheerfully: "Of course, the Taoist temple is very popular, and the old gentleman must have taken care of it openly and secretly. We made him lose face in front of the believers, can he not be angry!"

Everyone flew to Qingniujing's cave, Tang Seng saw a dilapidated Taoist temple in the sky, and strongly demanded to fly down to "revenge" Taishang Laojun again.

Yang Jian petted him, put his arms around his waist and fell to the ground.

The Taoist temple has been dilapidated, and the tiles on the roof are almost gone.Tang Seng took out a pen to write on the dusty statue, but as soon as he wrote a stroke, the black ink gradually faded and disappeared bit by bit.

"It seems that Laojun has discovered it!" Yang Jian said.

Tang Seng snorted, "A real man won't admit defeat!"

Don't let me write on the idol, I will write on the altar!

Tang Seng wiped the dirty tabletop with his sleeves, and wrote with a pen: Taishang Laojun is narrow-minded, his mind is as big as the nose of a needle!

A string of cursive script appeared below Tang Seng's handwriting, which was Taishang Laojun's reply: Qiao Yu, you are so naive.

Tang Seng wrote angrily: You are naive!

Taishang Laojun: You are the most naive!

Tang Seng: I am not naive, you are naive!Not only childish but also narrow-minded!

Taishang Laojun: Your mind is not much bigger than mine!

The two scolded unnutritively on the small altar, Yang Jian sighed and turned to look at the sky outside.He took Tang Seng's hand and threw away the brush in his hand.He carried Tang Seng and left this broken Taoist temple.

Let the two of them continue to quarrel, and it will be dark.

Lying on Yang Jian's shoulder, Tang Seng still refused to calm down, "Yang Jian, let me down." He shouted at the statue, "Taishang Laojun is the most childish! I, Qiao Yu, am the most beautiful man in the heaven -"

Back in Qingniujing's cave, Sha Wujing and Honghaier were already waiting impatiently.Tang Seng and the others went there for a long time, they thought something happened!

Sha Wujing sent away all the little monsters in the cave, and the Heavenly Court has a department that deals with monster affairs.If these little monsters hadn't eaten people, they would have a better life with the help of Heavenly Court, and the monsters who ate people would be punished accordingly.

It was getting late, and Tang Seng didn't win a huge victory in today's scolding battle, which made him look a little sullen.Everyone cleaned up a table of meals, and went back to rest after simply eating something.

Early the next morning, Tang Seng and others got up early, climbed over the mountain, and walked west for half a day, finally found a road that was easier to walk on.

Monkey King jumped into the air and looked forward. He fell back to the ground and faced Tang Seng and said, "Master, there is a valley in front of you, and black clouds are billowing. It seems that there are monsters. I will go to the front to find out first. Master, you walk slowly behind." !"

Sun Wukong is diligent, and he always went to the front to explore the way before, but Tang Seng let him go without thinking too much.

After a while, Monkey King flew back and said with a smile: "Master, I'm back. In front of me is a little demon who has just turned into a human form. He deliberately created a cloud of black mist to rob him! I sent him away, and you can go on your way with peace of mind." gone."

Tang Seng smiled and boasted, "Our Wukong is really capable."

Walking to the canyon, Monkey King walked in the front carrying the golden cudgel.As soon as they reached the center of the canyon, there was a bang, the ground collapsed, and Tang Seng and others fell into the pit in embarrassment.

Monkey King stood beside Tang Seng and shouted: "Master, don't be afraid, I will take you up right away."

Before Monkey King could reach out, Tang Seng kicked Monkey King in the stomach.

Sun Wukong was kicked back two steps, he said in disbelief: "Master! What did I do, you want to do this to me?"

Not far ahead, another Sun Wukong ran over with a disheveled face. He laughed and said, "Master! Good kick! Great kick! Master, juniors, kick him a few more times!"

Seeing the disgraced Monkey King, Monkey King was shocked and angry, "What kind of monster are you! How dare you pretend to be my grandson!"

"Oh! What kind of monster are you? What are you trying to become like me!"

The two Monkey Kings looked at Tang Seng at the same time and said, "Master! I am the real one. Don't be fooled by the goblin!"

Tang Seng looked at them and stroked their chins. Honghaier, Xiaobailong and others looked at the two Monkey Kings curiously.

"It really looks like it!" Xiao Bailong said.

Zhu Bajie asked Yang Jian, "Master, can you tell which of them is fake?"

Yang Jian shook his head, "I can't tell the difference."

Zhu Bajie said: "Even the master can't tell the difference, it seems that the monster's transformation technique is really powerful!"

Tang Seng thought for a while and said, "Since everyone can't tell the difference, then choose according to your intuition! Which one do you think is fake, go up and kick him! How about it?"

The disheartened Monkey King said anxiously: "Master! How did I offend you? Why did you treat me like this?"

Tang Seng casually comforted him, "Don't be afraid! With so many of us, not all of us will kick you! Is it?"

The cleaner Monkey King also said: "Master, you must not take this opportunity to retaliate!"

Tang Seng said perfunctorily: "Got it! Don't be verbose!" He greeted Xiao Bailong and the others, "Come on! Get ready, I'll call one, two, three, let's go together!"

"one two Three!"

Tang Seng and others all raised their feet and kicked at the cleaner Monkey King.

This Monkey King's face changed, and he raised his arms to protect his body.The kicks of Tang Seng and the others made him keep backing up until he crashed into the wall of the pit.

The weather was dry, and the ash in the pit was brought up by the Monkey King.When the dust settled, a monkey with an unfamiliar face revealed its true colors.

"Heh! As expected of the famous Minister Qiao, you are very good at teaching apprentices! How did you recognize that I am a fake Monkey King?"

Hong Haier yelled: "Is it still necessary to identify this? I want to kick you when I see you. You must be a fake!"

False Wukong choked up with anger at Red Boy's bizarre reasoning.

Tang Seng asked: "Did you make that cloud of black mist just now?"

The fake Wukong smiled and said: "I did it. I know that Monkey King has the habit of exploring the way. So I deliberately made a cloud of black mist to lure him over. I set a trap in the black mist to trap him, and then turned into him to trick you."

"What do you want from us?"

Fake Wukong said: "What I want is very simple, I want your luggage!"

Tang Seng: "Luggage?"

Looking at the big and small parcels on the ground, Tang Seng felt a little incredible.Although they have a lot of things, they are just daily necessities, not worth much at all.The monster put so much effort into trapping Wukong and digging a hole in the ground. In the end, he didn't seek money or kill, but only wanted their luggage. What kind of strange monster is this?

"What do you want luggage for?" Sun Wukong asked.

False Wukong said coldly: "It is also a spirit monkey, why Sun Wukong has made a big mistake and still has the chance to achieve the golden body and righteous fruit? I would like to go to the west to see! Find out who should get this scripture!"

Tang Seng grinned in embarrassment, maybe this person has a second-grade illness?

"I can understand young people's desire to do something big, but why do you have to compete with Monkey King? Are you interested in becoming a god in heaven? I can arrange for you to take the path of special selection."

False Wukong said arrogantly: "You underestimate me too much. Who would want to go to the sky to be a slave to the Jade Emperor? Hurry up and hand over your luggage, or don't blame me..."

Tang Seng put down the burden and said quickly: "Okay! I'll give you all the luggage, take it!"

The fake Wukong asked in disbelief: "You just... gave me the luggage?"

Tang Seng asked: "Yes! Do you want more?"

"want……"

Tang Seng beckoned his disciples to throw their luggage over to the fake Wukong.

Looking at the pile of luggage piled up in front of him, the fake Wukong couldn't help being in a daze.

Tang Seng said gently: "It is a good thing to have a dream! Since you want to go to the Western Paradise, I will not stop you! When you arrive in the Western Paradise, you must be polite to the Buddha. When you get the scriptures, remember to bring the scriptures back to the Tang Dynasty. .”

Fake Wukong snorted coldly, stretched out his hand and patted the dirt wall.Dust and earth and rocks fell from both sides of the valley, and Tang Seng discovered that the entire valley was covered with spells.

The fake Wukong carried two bundles on his back, three in his left hand, and two packages in his right.He sneered and said: "Elder Tang is cunning and suspicious. I know that you are careful. In order to prevent you from going back on your promises, I can only trap you and your apprentices here for a while. Don't worry, it's because you took the initiative to hand over your luggage. For the sake of coming out, I will not kill you!"

Tang Seng remembered that before he buried Kong Xuan with a pit full of charms, someone used a similar trick to control him today.

Yang Jian asked: "It's not convenient for Fang to reveal, what kind of monster are you?"

False Wukong said: "I am a six-eared macaque!"

The fake Wukong left, and the real Wukong jumped into the pit. "Master, should we just let him go?"

Tang Seng said: "So what if you don't let him go? Because of the spell in the valley, your magic power is less than [-]% of the usual, right? The monster is powerful, and you can't beat him in your current state."

Sun Wukong kicked the wall of the pit resentfully, "This damn monster, what's there to argue about learning from the scriptures, is his brain broken?"

With two bangs, Tang Seng's luggage fell to their feet again, and the six-eared macaque sneered: "I know whether my brain is broken or not! I think you are the ones with broken heads! All you brought on the way to learn the scriptures are all You don’t think it’s too heavy to eat! Give it back to you! A bunch of idiots!”

The six-eared macaque dropped the luggage and left again. Xiao Bailong flipped through it, "He didn't move anything except the customs clearance document."

Tang Seng nodded in relief, "As long as the food is still there! We can lose the scriptures, but we can't live without food!"