[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

"Hey! Brother Kong Xuan! Stand up straighter, keep your back straight, and raise your head up!" King Zhou said, "It will make you look more elegant this way!"

Kong Xuan held back his breath and moved his shoulders slightly.

King Zhou leaned on the recliner and raised his hands to block the sun.The warmth is harmonious, the spring breeze is blowing, and you can bully Kong Xuan a little while basking in the sun. What a pleasant little day!

Yang Jian lifted the curtain and came out of the military tent. He saw Kong Xuan was at the door, so he bowed his hands to King Zhou, "Your Majesty, I want to go back to Yuquan Mountain."

King Zhou sat up straight, "Why do you want to go back suddenly? Something happened at home?"

Yang Jian shook his head, "It's nothing important. I planned to go back before, but unfortunately I couldn't make the trip. Now I just have time, and Master and the others are here to protect you, so I can leave with peace of mind."

King Zhou asked, "How long will you be going back?"

Yang Jian made the calculations, "It will take at least half a month. The Roaring Dog is going to transform soon, and I have to guard it by its side."

King Zhou was stunned for a moment, "Shouting Tiangou can also take shape?"

Yang Jian smiled, "Of course it will, it's just that it doesn't like to use human form."

"Oh! Then go quickly! Don't worry about my side, there are so many people here to protect me, everything will be fine. By the way! When the Xiaotian dog transforms successfully, you can bring it here!"

Yang Jian smiled and said: "Forget it, it's too messy here, let it stay at home! If you want to see it, I'll take you there another day."

King Zhou narrowed his eyes and smiled, "Alright!"

Yang Jian said hello and flew away. King Zhou continued to lean on the recliner to bask in the sun. After a while he opened his eyes helplessly, because Kong Xuan's gaze was too hot.

"What do you see me doing?" King Zhou asked.

Kong Xuan said: "I don't think you are right with that three-eyed man!"

King Zhou was a little guilty, but he still insisted and asked, "What's wrong?"

Kong Xuan snorted coldly, "Except for the very first sentence of the dialogue, which is normal, every sentence that follows is abnormal!"

King Zhou thought to himself that when he talked to Yang Jian, he would unknowingly become very close.This silly bird's sense is quite sensitive.

King Zhou glared at him, "Director Yang and I are good friends, bosom friends, don't think too much about it!"

Kong Xuan sneered, "I didn't say you have any shady relationship, why are you so anxious!"

King Zhou was a little annoyed, he stood up and dropped the blanket, turned and left.

King Zhou, who was seen through by Kong Xuan, walked to the rear of the barracks in a rage.Walking to the hillside, he saw Bo Yikao and Nine-Tailed Fox lighting a fire on the hillside.

"Bo Yi Kao, are you two dating?"

Boyi koala smiled with the nine-tailed fox: "There are a lot of wild vegetables in the field now, I'll dig some and cook for Xiaojiu."

King Zhou boasted: "Oh! You are very virtuous!"

Bo Yikao smiled shyly, "There are no green vegetables in spring, and I always eat dry food. I'm afraid Xiaojiu can't bear it. Today's weather is fine, so I'll take her to dig some wild vegetables and adjust her diet."

King Zhou glanced at Nine-Tailed Fox, how could this sister like green vegetables!It is true that people want to eat chicken every day!But looking at the contented look of Nine-Tailed Fox, it is estimated that Bo Yikao will give her a meal, and she will be able to swallow it.The power of love is so great...

King Zhou looked at Boyi's full vegetable basket, "How do you plan to cook these vegetables?"

Bo Yikao said: "Boil it in clean water, then mix it with salt. Uh... I don't know how to do it too complicated."

King Zhou nodded, "Cold salad is very good!"

Bo Yikao grabbed the vegetables in the basket and put them in the earthenware pot. King Zhou hurriedly stopped him, "Wait! Have you washed the vegetables?"

"No……"

King Zhou took out one and asked Bo Yi to examine it, "There is still dirt hanging on the leaves of this vegetable! Can you eat it if you don't wash it?"

Bo Yikao said blankly, "I thought the soil would fall down after boiling in the pot."

"...that's not the case."

The nine-tailed fox carried the vegetable basket to wash the vegetables, and Bo Yikao asked as soon as he poured the vegetables into the pot, "Your Majesty, do you think this is cooked?"

"No! I'll tell you when it's ready!"

Under the guidance of King Zhou, Bo Yikao fished out the vegetables and mixed them with seasonings. After two mouthfuls, he and Nine-Tailed Fox stopped eating.

"Why don't you eat?" King Zhou asked with a smile.

Nine-Tailed Fox stuck out his tongue, "It's too bitter."

King Zhou said: "Bitterness is good! Bitterness is better!"

Bo Yikao and Nine-Tailed Fox didn't eat any more. King Zhou saw that there was a lot of wild vegetables left in the basket, and felt that it was a pity to leave them for nothing. "Go and get some flour, meat and oil, and some kitchen utensils. I'll make you something to eat."

When they heard that King Zhou was going to cook, Bo Yikao and Jiuweihu were very active. They had never seen King Zhou cook before, so they thought King Zhou was trying to be brave, and they all waited to see King Zhou's jokes.

The ingredients and kitchen utensils were quickly brought. King Zhou chopped wild vegetables and meat, and then added seasoning and a little flour to them.King Zhou stirred everything evenly, then poured oil into the pan, rolled the stuffing into balls, and fried them in the pan.

The fried meatballs are golden and crispy on the outside, tender and juicy on the inside.The clear fragrance of wild vegetables and the taste of meat are mixed together, which makes people want to stop.

Bo Yikao ate the meatball and asked, "Your Majesty, you actually know how to cook!"

King Zhou sneered, "The widow is naturally wise and mighty, omnipotent."

"Can I have a taste?"

King Zhou looked up and saw a Taoist leader appearing out of nowhere in this barren mountain.This priest was wearing a cinnabar red Taoist robe and had a good appearance.

The Taoist priest who suddenly appeared in the wilderness must be an np who came to help him, King Zhou thought so, and handed the Taoist priest a pair of chopsticks very politely, "I haven't used these chopsticks before, if the Taoist priest doesn't dislike it, Just try my fried meatballs."

The Taoist was not polite, picked up the chopsticks and ate one by one.He ate very fast, taking one bite at a time, and seemed to swallow it without chewing much. King Zhou felt choked when he saw him eating.

Bo Yikao helped King Zhou to say, "Where did the Taoist priest come from? Where are you going?"

The Taoist priest glanced at Bo Yikao, and suddenly said: "Your lifespan is over, why are you still alive?"

Bo Yikao was taken aback, "What?"

King Zhou smiled to smooth things over, "The Taoist priest is joking with you! Who told you to ask so many questions!" He turned to the Taoist priest and said, "If you have nothing important, you should hurry home! There is a war here! Be careful not to affect you."

The priest put down his chopsticks and wiped his mouth, "You are a strange person, I can't even see through you. Thank you for your meatballs, goodbye!"

The mysterious Taoist priest left just like that, and Bo Yikao was still a little uneasy, "What did the Taoist priest mean just now? How could my life be over?"

Nine-tailed fox comforted: "Don't listen to his nonsense, he is just a crazy Taoist priest, how can he be sure of what he says?"

King Zhou also chimed in, "What your Xiaojiu said is true, he just scares you. Look, he ate all the balls while you were scared!"

Boyi Kao was amused by King Zhou, who knocked on the pot, "There are still so many in this pot! I'll fry it for you again."

Daoist Huang Long appeared out of nowhere, "Okay! You guys are here secretly cooking a small stove! Brother Yuding! They are here secretly eating delicious food!"

Master Huanglong's loud voice not only called Master Yuding, but also other people from the State Teachers Bureau.

King Zhou knew it was going to be bad when he saw Master Yuding. He rushed over and said in a low voice, "I asked Boyi to test their dishes, but all they ate were fried. Now I will deep-fry fresh ones for Master." !"

Reverend Yuding nodded slightly, and the others asked: "Your Majesty, don't favor Reverend Yuding! Everyone is the same, fry the meatballs for us to try!"

King Zhou fried up the rest of the stuffing in the basin, and everyone still hadn't had enough, so they clamored for King Zhou to fry some more.

King Zhou said: "Okay! Since everyone is so active, let's go back to Chaoge and hold the next event of the National Teacher Bureau, fried meatballs! Don't you all grow vegetables? You can fry the vegetables you grow into meatballs. We will hold a croquette competition within the State Division Bureau, and whoever frys it well will be rewarded!"

After listening to King Zhou's words, everyone dispersed.King Zhou felt that this group of uncles could no longer be allowed to hang around the border. If they didn't work or fight, they would know they were in the way every day!

So that night, King Zhou dragged the group of masters back to Chaoge.

The priest who ate meatballs the day before reappeared in the Yin Shang camp early the next morning.This time he didn't go to dig wild vegetables on the hillside, but ran directly to the camp of the Chinese army.

There is no one in the tent of the Chinese army, but King Zhou's things are still there.He searched all the military tents, even went to the hillside yesterday, but he couldn't find King Zhou.In the end, he returned to the camp of the Chinese army, intending to block people there.

Just at this time, two soldiers came to clean up, and one soldier asked, "Your Majesty is gone, why do we have to come and clean up?"

Another older soldier said: "You don't understand this! Your Majesty may bring those national teachers back sometime!"

"So that's the case! Speaking of those national teachers, I don't understand. Why don't your majesty just let those national teachers destroy Xiqi! Those national teachers just hang around every day without doing anything! They are so If you have the ability, why make us work hard?"

The Taoist priest heard the conversation of the two soldiers and sighed in his heart, he turned into a wisp of smoke and got out of the tent.

The two soldiers didn't find anything unusual, and the older soldier continued to answer the question just now, "Naturally, the national advisers have boundless magic power. As long as they make a move, Xiqi can be turned into dust in an instant, and the entire city will be wiped out. But your majesty is merciful." , Many people in Xiqi are unwilling to fight, Your Majesty can't let them die with Ji Fa, right? So! The national teachers can't make a move even if they have great abilities."

"Oh I got it!"

The Taoist priest in red left Xiqi and came to Chaoge through Tudun.He disappeared into the palace, and after a while he found King Zhou who was writing memorials in Shouxian Palace.

When King Zhou saw him coming, he thought that the priest was here to assist him!He asked excitedly: "Master Taoist, are you here to find the widow?"

Daoist said coldly: "It's the one who came to look for you, the stupid king!"

"Fun Lord?" King Zhou reacted when he heard this address, "You were sent by Ji Fa!"

"That's right!" Daoist stretched out his hand and threw out a cloth bag, and put King Zhou in it.

King Zhou cursed inwardly: Damn it!I always wanted to trap other people's sacks, but today I was trapped.My prop is a piece of cloth, while others' props are already a bag!Pooh!It's actually more advanced than my props!shameless!