[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Outside the city gate, the army looked solemn and the flag was flying.Today is an auspicious day, which is suitable for the army to go to war. Before the auspicious time came, King Zhou pulled Yin Jiao and Yin Hong to give some earnest instructions.

"When you go to the east, you must listen to the words of the grand master, and do things according to your ability, and don't be brave. You must know that there are people beyond the mountains, and there are mountains beyond the mountains. You have only learned Taoism with the master for a few years, and there are many more talented people than you. In short , everything must be careful and careful, protect yourself!"

Wearing golden armor, Yin Jiao and Yin Hong cupped their hands at King Zhou and said, "Don't worry, Your Majesty, you have told me many times, and we brothers will take care of each other."

King Zhou nodded, "It's as long as you know what's in your heart. Also, there is another reason why I sent you to the east. Dongbohou Jiang Wenhuan is your uncle. If you go, you can help the grand master and Dongbohou to negotiate peace. If Dongbohou Agreeing to peace talks, my bottom line is that he does not have to come to Chaoge to pay tribute when I am in power."

Yin Jiao and Yin Hong were very excited when they heard this, and Yin Jiao said, "Thank you Your Majesty, I didn't expect you to make such a big concession in order to make us reconcile with uncle."

King Zhou waved his hand, "Don't say that, I didn't make this decision all because of you. Now that the princes of the four directions are against each other, if Dong Bohou can be drawn over, it will be very beneficial to the situation of the war."

Yin Hong said: "Your Majesty, let me tell Uncle about you! If he knows the truth, he will definitely withdraw his troops!"

King Zhou immediately vetoed it, "No! You must not let him know about me!"

The two children were still too innocent, and King Zhou explained to them: "How many times have you met your uncle since you were young? How much affection does he have for you? Even if he can protect you for the sake of your mother, But he still protects one side of the people! You and Jiang Wenhuan are opposing sides, he has to choose one before you and thousands of people, do you think you can win?"

Yin Jiao was thoughtful, and Yin Hong looked sullen.

King Zhou sighed: "Don't think too badly about people, and don't think too much about people. In the face of power, there are too many things about father not father, son not son, let alone nephew and uncle? Don't think too much. If you want to get close to your uncle, you should get close. I heard that the grand master is here for the peace talks! If Jiang Wenhuan refuses to make peace talks, you should leave and go to the south to find your Uncle Jiang, so as not to be embarrassing."

Yin Jiao and Yin Hong forced a smile and said, "Understood, thank you Your Majesty."

"Don't be so polite." King Zhou suddenly saw Nezha standing aside with his lips pouted and staring at him.So he smiled and said to Yin Jiao and Yin Hong: "I gave Nezha the title of general, don't be jealous. You are princes, it's better to keep a low profile when you go out."

Both Yin Jiao and Yin Hong laughed, and the depression disappeared. Yin Hong said with a smile: "Don't worry, Your Majesty, my brother and I cannot afford such a powerful title."

King Zhou smiled and said, "I'm leaving in a while. I'm going to talk to Nezha."

Walking up to Nezha, King Zhou smiled and asked, "Little General! Why are you so unhappy?"

Nezha pointed to his banner and said angrily, "What kind of title is this!"

King Zhou read: "The mighty Xiongba Taxue has no trace, one hundred shots, one hundred hits, one hundred hits, one hundred hits, one hundred hits, one hundred hits, one hundred hits, one hundred thousand victories, one hundred thousand methods, and he will return to the clan as a great general! I think this title is very powerful when you hear it. The enemy will definitely be terrified when they see it!"

Nezha jumped angrily, "This name is so long, who remembers it! Don't bully me for not reading enough, these words just sound nice, and the words don't match the words. I feel ashamed to say it! And! The most important thing Just a little bit! Look at the flag, can you write smaller praises? Why are the three biggest characters Li! Three! Egg!"

King Zhou looked up, and indeed, two-thirds of the big red flag was written with the three big characters Li Sandan, and the remaining third was the title. From a distance, only Li Sandan could be seen. Sandan, I can't see the words "mighty and powerful".

King Zhou spread his hands apologetically, "Oh! My little cutie! It's such a pity that you don't like this flag! I stayed up all night sewing this flag! And you know? Someone I proposed to call you General Li Goudan, but in order to protect your self-esteem, I changed it to Li Sandan, don't you feel moved at all?"

Nezha didn't dare to move at all, and even felt like he was about to go crazy! "My name is Li Nezha, neither Goudan nor Sandan!"

King Zhou squatted down and winked at him, "I ask you, do you still dare to threaten me in the future?"

Nezha pouted, "I was wrong, I will never threaten you again..."

King Zhou rubbed his face, "Be good!" He waved his hand, and the title on the flag changed to Great General Wei Ling.

Nezha couldn't believe it, "Is this a title for me? Really? Really?"

"Of course it is true. This is your title." King Zhou said solemnly, "Your title has been recorded in the book, and you have a monthly salary. Now you are a real general. You must be prudent in your words and deeds. Proper, because your soldiers will follow your example."

Nezha nodded happily, "I understand, you can rest assured!"

King Zhou rubbed his head, "It's still the same sentence, swords have no eyes on the battlefield, you have to be more careful!"

When the auspicious time came, Yin Jiao and Yin Hong led their troops to the east, and Nezha to the south. King Zhou felt very uncomfortable watching them leave far away.I feel like an old father who finally brought up his sons, only to send them to the battlefield himself.

Yang Jian fell from the tower and stood beside King Zhou, "Don't worry about them, my uncles are very protective, and my apprentices are about to go to the battlefield, so I will definitely leave them with a magic weapon to protect them."

King Zhou sighed, "Oh! Well! Maybe I'm old. Looking at these children, I feel that I have become a kind old father, always wanting to buy oranges for them..."

Yang Jian laughed at him, "Cixiang? Forget it! Nezha looks like a doll in New Year's pictures. Don't you just beat him when you say it, and shut it down when you say it?"

King Zhou coughed twice, "Ah... At that time, I was a strict father, and you were a loving mother! We are always a good match."

Yang Jian:"……"

A guard from the palace came over on horseback, and he shouted as he ran, "Your Majesty! Your Majesty! It's not good! Something is not right!"

King Zhou scolded: "Why panic! The army is going to fight, speak well!"

The guard rolled off his horse, his forehead and clothes were covered with sweat.Today the two Highnesses went to battle, and he didn't say auspicious words, His Majesty must be angry.

But he really has something important to do, and he can't control it now.

He knelt on the ground and took a breath, and immediately said: "Your Majesty, the immortals who entered the palace yesterday started fighting, you should go back and have a look! If it is a moment later, even the Shouxian Palace will be demolished!"

King Zhou said to Yang Jian, "Chairman Yang, please send me back to the palace."

Yang Jian nodded and put his hand on King Zhou's shoulder, a puff of white smoke drifted past, and both King Zhou and Yang Jian disappeared.

The white smoke dissipated, and King Zhou happened to be standing in front of his bedroom.And the five big sisters of Jiejiao were in the open space in front of the dormitory, and the two Taoist priests of Chanjiao were beating up in groups. It was really a unilateral beating, and the battle was very tragic.The wall in front of the sleeping hall was smashed, and the bluestone bricks on the ground were also broken into slag.The palace people had fled long ago, if they didn't escape, they would be courting death!

King Zhou's heart hurts!Building a palace requires money!There is a war going on now, and he has no money in his pocket!

King Zhou shouted loudly: "Several elders! Stop fighting! Let's value peace, shall we? Harmony makes money!"

Those few clearly heard it, but they ignored King Zhou, and Qiong Xiao even sacrificed the golden scissors!It can be seen that they did not take King Zhou seriously.

Yang Jian sacrificed a three-pronged double-edged spear, "I'll separate them in the past, you stay away!"

King Zhou held him back and refused to let him go, "No! Sister Sanxiao's magic weapon is too powerful, and your two uncles are not just for nothing! If you fight, you will die!"

King Zhou shouted: "Everyone, if you don't stop, I will rush over! I want to see what attitude Yuanshi Tianzun and Tongtian leader will have if I die!"

Everyone stopped slowly, Qiong Xiao put away the golden jiao scissors, squinted at King Zhou, "You are the emperor of the world, how dare you threaten us!"

King Zhou said: "I didn't threaten you! I just put forward a hypothesis." He pointed to the Shouxian Palace in front of him, "Please move to the Shouxian Palace! I think we have something to talk about. Talked."

Entering the palace, the interception is still on the left, and the explanation is on the right.Yang Jian still sat next to King Zhou, Guang Chengzi and Chi Jingzi kept staring at him, probably wanting him to be more sensible, and sat by their side, but Yang Jian pretended not to see.

King Zhou poured a glass of cold water and poured it into his stomach. He put down the glass and said with a smile, "Everyone, you just arrived yesterday. I wanted you to have fun for two days. Don't be in a hurry." But I found out today that you are very energetic, so, from now on, you will take up the post!"

Chi Jingzi thought that he still had some friendship with King Zhou, so he asked, "Your Majesty, what does it mean to take office immediately? You appointed us an official?"

King Zhou smiled and said: "That's right! There is a rule in the court. Anyone who cultivates Taoism and immortality must enter the National Teacher Bureau as a national teacher, and must not interfere in the government and military affairs. I think you are very capable, and you can join the Armed Forces Department of our National Teacher Bureau. Minister It’s Director Yang, who is also the director of the Ministry of Armed Forces.”

Let alone Sanxiao and the others, even Chi Jingzi and Guang Chengzi were dissatisfied.

Shiji spoke harshly, she laughed and said: "Guang Chengzi and Chi Jingzi, it's lucky that you are still the Twelve Golden Immortals! I didn't expect that the more you get mixed up, the worse you become, and now even a junior in education can climb on top of you! Are they all so disrespectful?"

Shi Ji said Yang Jian was rude, of course King Zhou didn't want to listen.

"Shiji, you have to abide by the rules wherever you go to the top of the mountain! It was Yang Jian who helped me when I was in the most difficult time, and I will always remember this kindness in my heart! This has nothing to do with your seniority."

King Zhou said to them with a cold face: "Joining the National Teacher Bureau, I will pay you monthly salaries and arrange accommodation for you. Everything will be done according to the rules. Of course! You must also abide by the rules of the National Teacher Bureau. Gather a crowd to fight in private!"

Han Zhixian laughed sarcastically and said: "Your Majesty really thinks of himself as someone? We think highly of you for coming here to help. Let us enter the National Teacher Bureau and listen to orders from a junior? Oh! Impossible!"

Although Chi Jingzi and Guang Chengzi didn't speak, judging from their livid faces, they probably thought so too.

King Zhou was even more flustered than them. He had already discovered that none of these gods and monsters were interesting!I always feel that mortals are weak and have no human rights!

It was the same in previous lifetimes. At that time, he had a good temper, and he didn't suffer any grievances after being surrounded by Yang Jian.But it's different now, Yang Jian's seniority here is younger, and there are more gods and figures than him. It's okay to be wronged, but you can't let Yang Jian follow him and roll your eyes!

King Zhou stood up and said coldly: "I've said everything I need to say! Join the National Teacher Bureau, stay! If you don't want to join the National Teacher Bureau, get out!"

Everyone's expressions changed immediately!They didn't expect King Zhou's words to be so harsh. They have practiced for many years, and whoever saw them would not be respectful. How could ordinary people dare to scold them like this?

King Zhou grabbed Yang Jian's sleeve and was about to leave. Guang Chengzi slapped the table with a livid face and cursed, "Yang Jian! If you dare to leave this house with this stupid king today, you are not my disciple of Chanjiao!"

King Zhou walked up to him and scolded: "Which onion are you? Did Yang Jian bully his master and destroy his ancestors? He didn't even say a word just now. Why did you expel him from the master? Tell you! His master hasn't spoken yet, I The second uncle didn't say anything, you just can't speak well!"

Guang Chengzi was so angry that his face was flushed, and he couldn't say a word. Chi Jingzi pointed at King Zhou and was about to scold him, but King Zhou leaned his neck towards him.

"Come, come! Hit! Hurry up! Let me see if you beat me to death, my Second Master Yuanshi Tianzun can beat you to death!"

Empress Yunxiao felt that King Zhou's appearance of hobbling meat was really disgusting, she stood up and said with a flick of her sleeves: "Sisters, let's go back! It seems that King Zhou doesn't need our help!"

King Zhou laughed and said, "That's right! I would rather die standing up than kneeling in front of you and idly living!"

Shi Ji snorted coldly, "I hope you never beg us!"

King Zhou spread his hands, "You threatened me? This is really not good! Do you know? The last person who threatened me, I gave him a title, called Li Sandan! I think there may be dogs in the future, Eggs, goose eggs, all kinds of eggs!"

San Xiao and the others had no sectarian differences this time, and they all walked out of the hall one by one.King Zhou kept sending them to the door, and said sarcastically as he sent them back: "Everyone, go slowly! Go back and say hello to the second and third masters for me!"

Everyone left, Yang Jian frowned, and said rather annoyed: "What are you mad at them for? When they go back, I don't know how to tell the truth!"

King Zhou said: "Close the palace door, I have something to tell you."

The door of the hall was closed, and the light in the room was much dimmed.

King Zhou sighed: "I don't want to confront them either, but they are too annoying! Tell me, what does it matter to us? You and I are brought here. We meet and talk like an affair. There is nothing wrong with it." free!"

Yang Jian said: "Don't change the subject! You offended everyone today, how can you ask others to do things in the future?"

King Zhou leaned over and said in a low voice, "You are wrong. No matter mortals or gods, they love each other! Today I am used to serving them like my ancestors. From now on, they will have to say what they are. We will not be grandchildren anymore." !"

Yang Jian sighed, "Why don't I know? But I'm afraid I can't protect you on my own! If I wasn't worried about your safety, I would have led my troops to fight Xiqi long ago!"

King Zhou blinked movedly, "Brother Zhenjun, you still love me!" He comforted Yang Jian, "Don't worry so much! I have been thinking about a question these days. , competing with each other, whoever dies will go to heaven to be an official, right?"

"It's like this. If you are on the list of gods, you will be restricted by the heaven. Everyone doesn't want to go to heaven, and they don't want to be driven by others."

King Zhou nodded, "I'm a rare commodity to live in now, because I'm the ruler of one side, and the bosses all bet on me to win! Send people to my side to help me fight the war. If I don't like the people they send, then , I can drive them away! If they can learn to be polite and kind, I will agree with them to stay and participate in the Battle of the Conferred Gods. If all of them are stubborn and not polite, then I will not keep any of them. Don’t even think about participating in the Battle of the Conferred Gods! Don’t even think about having an immortal in the sky enter the Heavenly Court!”

Yang Jian thought for a while and asked, "But...what if they get down hard and let Ji Fa win?"

King Zhou shrugged his shoulders, "Then I will surrender. Ji Fa can attack Chaoge without a single soldier, and I will give him the world! At that time, none of the gods who helped Ji Fa will die. It is also impossible!"

Yang Jian asked again: "What if they replace you?"

"Then we two will elope!"

Yang Jian shook his head, "It's too bold! Sanxiao is very powerful. The Golden Jiaojian and Hunyuan Jindou are both extremely powerful treasures, but my ancestor can kill them with a single shot. You will fight against them, and you will not be defeated." Be careful and you will..."

King Zhou smiled and said, "Then let's be a pair of hard-working wild mandarin ducks!"

He changed back to his original form and stood on the couch, "Don't worry! I still have a hand! I have recorded the Three Thousand Ways, you can look at my original form and learn."

Yang Jian held him in his hands, "It's not so easy to comprehend the Dao, if I want to improve my cultivation, I have to retreat!"

The jade plate was shaking in Yang Jian's hand, "Retreat! How can there be a good environment for you to retreat here? I'm afraid I will be seventy or eighty when you retreat! By then, the battle will be over, so why do I need you?"

Yang Jian was helpless, "Enlightenment of the Dao is not about eating and drinking, nor just looking at it!"

Pan'er sighed, "Okay...do you have a mirror that can see people's shadows more clearly?"

Yang Jian took out a crystal mirror, "Yes! I was going to give it to Third Sister, but I never had time to give it to her!"

Pan'er looked at herself in the mirror, "It's better to ask for others than to ask for yourself. I'd better look in the mirror and see myself to enlighten myself!"

Yang Jian nodded, "Look in the mirror first! I'll restore the broken palace wall to its original state."

Pan'er then sang: "Small, little Erlang! You have no knowledge! Ah! You have no face to see your partner!"