when i used to love you

The name Zhiyu was chosen by Yue Zhiyu's mother.She likes "Good Rain Knows the Season, When Spring Happens".And when Zhiyu grows up, this sentence is the one he will recite the most.But what he prefers is "sneaking into the night with the wind, moistening things silently."

Before Yue Zhiyu was ten years old, he lived with his mother, and he never felt that there was anything wrong.But since his tenth birthday, his life has changed drastically.He lives with his father.The reason is that the father's stepmother can no longer bear children.Others envy him from an ugly duckling to a swan, but he is looking forward to his mother taking him back to that small adobe house day and night.He became more and more introverted, more and more closed, and only locked himself in the room all day long, staring blankly at the sky.That's how I turned 16.He studied hard before being admitted to No. [-] Middle School, the best school in the city and the school farthest from home.

He clearly remembers that it was the first rain in the summer when he was 16 years old.He walked under the bus station and waited for the bus. At this moment, it started to rain lightly.However, during the rain, there was a very clear "click" sound from the side.He thought, this person should not be in a hurry.But before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted impatiently by the person next to him.Perhaps agitated by this attitude, he put his rainbow umbrella into the man's hand and ran into the rain in embarrassment.He must be crazy, he thought.

He thought this was just a small episode in his life, but he didn't expect that his life would take a completely different direction as the beginning of this incident.The next day, when Yue Zhiyu came back from the outside, he saw the figure at the door of the classroom.The man was wearing a white shirt and black trousers, with a straight and slender figure, standing there like a pine tree.The facial features are as deep and three-dimensional as carved by a knife, causing the girls in the first year of high school to turn their heads and blush frequently.For some reason, Zhiyu's heart beat wildly.

Zhiyu found out that the senior was Yang Feng, and accidentally learned that he was the No. [-] in the second year of high school, the school grassroots, and the main force of the school football team.Zhiyu instantly felt that that person was far away from him.But every time she sees her seniors, Zhiyu inexplicably feels very at ease again.

Their relationship grows closer.They study together, go home together, and play together every day.He was surprised to find that the school he hated the most had now become his favorite place.

But one day, this dream was shattered.Zhiyu's mother called him.The mother on the phone was a little tired and said she wanted to see him.He said angrily, you didn't want me back then, and now I don't want to go back to see you either.The mother on the phone didn't speak, but just hung up the phone silently.But how could he have thought that this was the last call between them.When we meet again, we will be in the mourning hall.He stared blankly at the softly smiling mother in the photo, unable to say anything.At the same time, Zhiyu also understood that he is such a dirty and selfish person, he is not qualified to stand beside the senior.So, he escaped.He began to indulge himself.I got to know a bunch of hooligans and learned a lot of bad habits.Maybe he was avoiding himself too.Zhiyu thinks so.But the moment he saw the disbelieving expression of the senior, his heart still throbbed involuntarily.Yeah, who cares about him?Who cares about him who is so depraved?It used to be like this, but now it's just going back.

But to his shock, the senior didn't stay away from him.On that rainy night, he lay in the arms of his senior, weeping uncontrollably.At that time, he thought dimly that the senior is really the most gentle person in the world.

After such turmoil, their relationship has risen to "brothers".When he likes to call his senior "Brother", the string in his heart trembles slightly.

One day, when Zhiyu was on her way to school, she saw a group of gangsters besieging a girl.In an instant, he didn't know where he got the courage to start calling for help, and ran over to fight those people.Those people hesitated and ran away.Only then did he see clearly the girl he had saved.She is beautiful, with big eyes that seem to be talking.She said her name was Xin Xueqi.

Zhiyu is in love.He and Xin Xueqi have grown closer since then.The two finally got together after two months of acquaintance.After the confession was successful, Zhiyu immediately thought of the senior.He wanted to take Xin Xueqi to meet the senior.As if the senior was his real relative, he even felt inexplicably nervous.

But it didn't go well.The senior's face was inexplicably pale, and he even fell ill the next day.At that time, Zhiyu even thought that if he could get his senior to forgive him, he could even break up with Xin Xueqi.Although he didn't know why the senior was unhappy.But the senior didn't blame him, but still treated him so gently.He felt that he was simply the happiest man.There is a brother who takes care of him, and a lovely and sensible girlfriend.

But the good times didn't last long, and something happened again.This time it's the senior.That day, Zhiyu always felt that something was wrong, so he turned back halfway.What he saw made his eyes tear up.He rushed forward like crazy, punching and kicking without hesitation.Those people seemed a little timid, and finally ran away.He has no time for those people.He helped the senior onto his back and started to run wildly.At that time, his mind went blank, and when he ran to the hospital, his eyes went dark and he passed out.

But luckily the senior woke up.Zhiyu's mood immediately improved.One day, he and Xin Xueqi went out on a date.He was very happy all the time, and chatted endlessly about his seniors.But he remembered that at the end of that date, it ended with Xin Xueqi's questioning: Are you a nursing baby?Why don't you leave him in a word?I didn't come out with you to hear you keep talking about another person!

It was at that time that he realized in a trance that his feelings for the senior seemed really strange.It's not just the feelings between brothers, it also contains a trace of inexplicable feeling... Zhiyu suddenly panicked.If the senior finds out, will he, will he feel disgusted?

But Zhiyu decided to face this problem head-on and not evade it.He still gets along with the seniors as before.However, the senior is graduating soon.Every time she sees her seniors' superior exam rankings, Zhiyu always feels inexplicable fear.Afraid that the senior would leave him from now on... So he started to study seriously for the first time.Although I know that it is impossible to reach the same height as the senior, but at least, I will be closer to him.

But time is like sand between fingers, no matter how much you want to hold it, it will still flow away in the end.The day of the college entrance examination has finally arrived.He looked at the senior's back as before, so high-spirited and full of confidence.He watched silently for a while until the figure disappeared out of sight.

After the college entrance examination, Zhiyu studied harder.Although the days of getting along with seniors are getting less and less, as long as there is one thing to concentrate on, you can temporarily forget everything.On the day of the score check, he went to the Internet cafe with his senior.Seeing the senior so leisurely and at ease, he himself was sweating nervously.He didn't know what kind of result he wanted.

It's twelve o'clock.He heard his heart beating violently, but his mind was in chaos.He hoped that the senior could get into the school he was satisfied with, and on the other hand, he despicably hoped that the score would not be so high.But at the moment when she saw the score, Zhiyu felt relieved.He was a little depressed, but more excited.Look, this is his brother!

But at the thought of being separated from his senior, an unspeakable haze enveloped his heart.He wept vilely.Faintly, he was looking forward to something.He hugged the senior, taking advantage of the senior's sympathy in a despicable way.Feeling the warmth and tenderness of the senior, he just wanted to cry for his meanness.What to do, go on like this, go on like this...

After that day, Zhiyu flinched.He escaped.Using heavy studies as an excuse, I never saw my seniors again.He knew that the senior applied for S University, which is a very good university very close to the local area, but it is not among the best in the country.With such a result, he was not happy at all.He was a little confused and a little sad.It wasn't until several months passed that he suddenly discovered that the senior was really leaving.Suddenly, Zhiyu rushed out of the room like crazy and rushed towards the train station.He passed through thousands of people and saw him.The senior has grown taller, thinner, and more handsome.Zhiyu was thinking obsessively, as if she couldn't get enough of it.When the senior's father left, he pursed his lips and walked there.He walked quickly, and finally ran, panting, and grabbed the senior's sleeve.The senior turned around in surprise.But after that moment of surprise, a soft smile appeared.Zhiyu's heart skipped a beat.

He said: "That... I'm sorry that day, because my ignorance may have caused you more trouble... But when I think that I won't see you for a year... I can't help it... I have been working hard for a few months. Studying, this mock exam has improved by [-] points! If you work harder, you will definitely be able to enter S University!"

Then they hug each other tightly.Zhiyu felt that the aura of the senior was so sad, as if it wanted to swallow up his sorrow.Finally, the senior got on the train.They all ran as fast as they could.But man, how could he run past it?How can you escape the established destiny?He finally stopped, panting heavily, tears trickling down from his eyes.

In the next year, Zhiyu seemed to be completely reborn and studied more seriously than before.Unexpectedly, he discovered his interest, participated in the English competition and won the first prize, and was invited to the United States.To be honest, getting this result was unexpected.But this trip happened to be the holiday after the college entrance examination, and it was still two months... Zhiyu wanted to refuse, because if she went, she would not be able to see her seniors.But at this time, Xin Xueqi appeared in front of him.

"Zhiyu, how have you been lately?" Xin Xueqi was much more mature than before, and her gestures exuded a charming aura.Because of the college entrance examination, they have not seen each other for a long time.

"Well, not bad." Zhiyu showed a smile.

"Well, did you win the first prize in this national English competition?" Xin Xueqi asked.

"Ah, yes, I heard that I can still go to the United States, but I..." Zhiyu touched his nose, a little embarrassed.

"Then what if this summer camp is led by Professor Bernard?" Xin Xueqi interrupted Zhiyu before he could finish speaking.

Zhiyu was stunned: "Bernard...could it be the one who was invited to T University..."

Xin Xueqi nodded, and then said: "If you go, you can communicate with Professor Berner, and you may even be attracted by him, and then enter T University and become his disciple. Even so, do you want to give up?"

Zhiyu's mind was in chaos.He lowered his head helplessly.Which one should I choose?So far, all his efforts have been aimed at being admitted to the same university as his seniors after graduation, and his score is barely above the line, but the English Department of S University is not well-known in the country.But now fate has thrown him an olive branch, which is the question of whether he can hold it...

After a long time, Zhiyu seemed to have exhausted all her strength.

He said, "I'll go."

Xin Xueqi showed a victorious smile.She squatted down, held Zhiyu's hand, and looked at him sincerely: "Hey, Zhiyu, let's start again. I will give you a chance, and I will make your wish come true."

On his birthday, he and some classmates made an appointment to meet at a KTV.His eyes kept wandering, not knowing what he was thinking.Xin Xueqi sat beside him and smiled softly: "I'm going to America soon, why are you so silent?"

Zhiyu smiled weakly.Suddenly, his phone rang.When he saw the name on the screen, he jumped up from the sofa.Then he took a deep breath and connected the phone.I don't want to worry my seniors, and I still feel full of guilt in my heart.He deliberately pretended to be very relaxed and chatted with the senior.Even if he said that he would not be able to go to T University, he still had a faint thought in his heart that the senior would definitely forgive me this time.Sure enough, the senior forgave him.A big stone in my heart crashed to the ground, but at the same time, there was an inexplicable disappointment.He thought, the senior really doesn't care about himself at all.Thinking so angrily, he simply said a few words and hung up the phone.

Then, Zhiyu and Xin Xueqi went to the United States.He is happy every day.Travel around and receive personal guidance from Professor Berner every day.During this period, the relationship between him and Xin Xueqi seemed to be getting closer.However, for some reason, every night when he slept on the big comfortable bed, he couldn't help but think of that handsome, slightly cold face.

On the flight back to China, Xin Xueqi suddenly said to him: "Zhiyu, let's go to S city before entering school, I will accompany you."

Zhiyu was startled, and frowned slightly: "Why are you..."

Xin Xueqi just smiled faintly: "I just want to come back before Professor Berner's speech. Don't worry, I won't hinder."

Now Zhiyu's mood has undergone a subtle change.After a trip to the United States, his feelings for the senior were mixed with something else.He thought, since the senior doesn't care about him, why should he rush to make people dislike him.It is better to get rid of this kind of evil fate earlier.However, when the day came, he couldn't help but get excited.

As soon as she got off the train, Zhiyu began to look for that figure.Suddenly, he saw it.Not far away is the man in the plaid shirt.In a moment of excitement, he yelled without thinking much.That person seemed to have just seen him and ran over.Zhiyu looked at the senior, and the little grievances in her heart disappeared without a trace.He seems to be about the same height as the senior now.The senior is still so handsome, with a faint smile on the corner of his mouth.He wanted to hurry to the next day to see the city where the senior lived for a year.

The next day was very cold.He and Xin Xueqi had been waiting at the door of the S University dormitory early.Seeing the senior wrapped up like a zongzi, he couldn't help laughing softly.On the way, Zhiyu couldn't wait to share with the senior about the lecture, but the attitude of the senior was beyond his expectation.The senior went back.

Zhiyu and Xin Xueqi walked for a while, then stopped.Xin Xueqi let go of his arm, folded her arms around her chest and said coldly: "Now do you know, your senior, you won't be happy at all because of your success."

Zhiyu's heart is in a mess.Why, only one year has passed, why did the senior become like this.When he told his seniors that he was going to T University, the seniors were obviously still so happy. Can college really change a person...

Just like that, Zhiyu and Xin Xueqi boarded the flight back to T City with their hearts full of worries.After college life, very fulfilling and very happy.I am studying the major I am interested in, surrounded by a group of enthusiastic and loyal friends, and a beautiful girlfriend who is considerate... But Zhiyu always feels that even if there are so many people around her, there is still a place in her heart. It will be empty.And this place was only filled during his three years in high school...

"Zhiyu, do you want to do an experiment?" It was the Christmas carnival night in my senior year.Xin Xueqi, with delicate makeup, came to him step by step, showing a mysterious smile.

"What?" Zhiyu glanced at her lazily, then shifted her gaze to the book in her hand.

"Oh, don't you know how to respect me?" Xin Xueqi pulled the book away, forcing Zhiyu to look at her.

"Just give him a call and tell him that you will never call him 'brother' again." Xin Xueqi stared at Zhiyu closely.But Zhiyu frowned and said, "I don't know what the significance of this experiment is."

"Call it, don't talk nonsense." Xin Xueqi threw the phone to him impatiently, shaking the red wine in her hand.

Zhiyu sighed helplessly and turned on the phone.He hesitated for a moment, then tapped the name.

The waiting time was only ten seconds, but Zhiyu's hands were trembling slightly.Finally, connected.After hearing that familiar voice, Zhiyu almost lost control of her emotions.After chatting for a while, he said those words pretending to be relaxed.Then he heard a brief hesitation over there, and then he heard the senior say, "Okay."

Without saying anything more, he dealt with Xin Xueqi's troubles, hung up the phone weakly, and lay down on the sofa.The surroundings are very lively, but he feels extremely lonely.Xin Xueqi looked down at him, raised his chin, and stared straight at him with her beautiful eyes.She whispered softly in his ear: "Do you understand, the significance of this experiment? He never regarded you as his younger brother."

After that, they had no contact for a long time.Zhiyu found a job.Xin Xueqi's character is getting weirder and weirder.It is often when he is with him that he suddenly becomes a little nervous.Zhiyu thought, she must know something.But he still couldn't help her.So he endured it all the time, at least he never broke up with her.He also read some of the posts on the post bar.Every time I see the photos of him and Xin Xueqi together in the post, they look so well matched.Maybe he was infected by Xin Xueqi, but he always has some weird ideas.Zhiyu always couldn't help thinking, what would the seniors think if they saw these photos?Ah, maybe even the waves won't rise, after all, I'm just an insignificant person...

There were so few phone calls between Zhiyu and the senior, and in the end it was so embarrassing that even 5 minutes could not be filled.So he didn't want to call more and more, and the senior never called him.

The first job the company sent him was to be a translator for a government official, and the job location was in S city.His heart skipped a beat when he heard the decision.He finally agreed.Xin Xueqi got the news from nowhere, broke into his office, swept all the things on his desk like crazy, and asked loudly: "You gave up your further studies just because of him? Yue Zhiyu, you are really an idiot!" Fool!"

Zhiyu felt a headache.He said with a good temper: "I just don't want to be like this all the time, why did you mention him again? You know, I..."

"Yue Zhiyu, do you have a heart?" Xin Xueqi burst into tears, "I like you, from the first year of high school to the present. But can you look at me once in a while?"

Yue Zhiyu was stunned on the spot.He wanted to argue, but was speechless.The years of self-deception were crushed by Xin Xueqi's few words.Yes, he likes seniors, from the first year of high school until now, it has never changed.

"You are so ruthless." Xin Xueqi smiled suddenly, "However, no matter how devoted you are to that person, he will never know, and you will never, never be together."

After speaking, Xin Xueqi walked out of the office with her neck held high.She was like a gust of wind, coming suddenly and leaving like that suddenly.Zhiyu stood where she was, clenched her fists.

After that, Xin Xueqi became more and more strange.I often hold him and cry bitterly, or burst into rage.Zhiyu couldn't stand it anymore.One day when he was returning to school, he saw Xin Xueqi walking in front of him with a tall boy on her arm, smiling and smiling.Zhiyu has no anger, no sadness, not even a trace of feeling.He just packed his luggage silently, and got on the train to S city without saying a word.During the journey, he kept looking at the number one on the phone, just like that all the way.

Yue Zhiyu came to S City half a day early.Knowing the location of the hospital, I waited beside him early in the morning.His heart was beating like a drum, and he kept looking at his watch, as if a young man was waiting for his first love girlfriend.Suddenly, he saw the person he was thinking of.The senior's hair has grown longer, making him look more gentle and handsome.It's just that his walking posture is a little strange...

Yue Zhiyu frowned, and walked forward as if he had encountered him by chance, and after doing some psychological training, he opened the scene without any abnormalities.God knows that his back was wet because of saying this...

Yue Zhiyu and Yang Feng had a brief conversation and made an appointment to have lunch together.He watched Yang Feng walk into the hospital with unknowingly infatuated love in his eyes.

The meal that followed was also very pleasant.Yue Zhiyu has even decided to break up with Xin Xueqi tonight, and then have a showdown with the senior.He thought, no matter whether the senior would run away from him or what would happen, this time, he would never let go.

However, everything went off track.When he woke up again, Yue Zhiyu was in a daze.There are a lot of things trying to squeeze into his head, as if they are fighting, which makes him a little confused between reality and dream.A doctor came up and asked him some questions, which he answered carelessly.After that, he couldn't bear the intrusion of sleepiness and fell into dreamland again.

Although he couldn't figure out the situation, Yue Zhiyu's appearance was normal.The greatest joy was seeing Yang Feng.Seeing him, Zhiyu's mood was as beautiful as a flower blooming.She couldn't help but want to act like a baby to him, couldn't help wanting to touch him, couldn't help... Zhiyu looked at Yang Feng's mature and handsome face, but some memories came back to her head inappropriately.The more he talked, the more frightened he became, and the more he talked, the more he felt something was wrong.He wanted to end this conversation and think about it, but he couldn't bear it.Suddenly, someone broke in.The moment he saw clearly who the other party was, Yue Zhiyu frowned instinctively.However, in order to collect his thoughts, he still didn't say anything.Lying on the hospital bed, he stared at his face on the screen of the mobile phone for a moment, frowning more and more tightly.

"Zhiyu..." Xin Xueqi came back, looking very tired.She walked over quickly and looked at him carefully.Yue Zhiyu didn't respond, but kept his original expression.

"Zhiyu, I was wrong this time, don't scare me, don't make fun of yourself... That Yang Feng, yes, he must have deliberately brought you there for dinner, deliberately said those words... this person It's too hypocritical, Zhiyu..." Xin Xueqi's makeup was blurred by tears, and she looked a little hideous.

"Okay." Yue Zhiyu interrupted impatiently, "If it's a lie, there's no need to say it again. I remembered a little bit. I remembered how much I liked him, and how I hated your hypocrisy."

Xin Xueqi's face suddenly turned pale.She knew that he liked him, but it was still so cruel to hear him say it himself.

"I won't let you mess with me any more. We..."

"Impossible!" Xin Xueqi stood up all of a sudden, like a madman, "I tell you Yue Zhiyu, even if I die, it is impossible for you two to be together! He, Yang Feng, deserves to die!" Then Xin Xueqi showed a bewildered expression smiling, staring closely at Yue Zhiyu. "Don't think that your senior really attaches great importance to you. Have you forgotten? He doesn't really wish you well. Being with you may be a torment for him... Do you want him to hate you even more? "

Yue Zhiyu trembled and lowered his eyelids.

"However..." Xin Xueqi changed the topic, "If you want to leave some beautiful thoughts..."

Therefore, Yue Zhiyu made a plan—at least, before that, he wanted to go back again.

In this way, they got on the train to their hometown in a hurry and hastily.As Yue Zhiyu talked, he found that Yang Feng had already fallen asleep.He stopped talking and stared at Yang Feng's sleeping face.He thought, whether in the past or now, the senior is indeed the only person in the world who can easily move his heartstrings without doing anything.

At night, they got out of the car.Walking on the road of the hometown that has been away for many years, everything seems to be new.Finally, they stopped in front of the school.As always, red bricks and white tiles, everything seems to be the same as in memory.Yue Zhiyu thought, how much he wanted to go back.Go back to the days when you could see your seniors every day, those carefree days.However, the senior's discomfort brought him back to reality.Zhiyu sprinted [-] meters to the intersection and took a taxi, only to find that the senior's face was as pale as paper.He regretted it so much that he helped the senior into the car.Under the dim light, Zhiyu lingered greedily at his senior's face, with a pale complexion, eyes that seemed to hide stars, always watching him so tenderly... He approached him as if he had been bewitched, as if Gently put a kiss on Yang Feng's face like treating Zhenbao, and said like a whisper in sympathy: "Senior, goodbye..."

Zhiyu left.Before Yang Feng woke up, he packed his luggage and left with Xin Xueqi.Before leaving, he came to Yang Feng's bedside and silently watched Yang Feng's sleeping face.

"Zhiyu, let's... let's go." Xin Xueqi stood at the door with an extremely obscure and sad expression on her face.

Zhiyu didn't answer, just squatted down, and whispered something in Yang Feng's ear.Then he got up and walked out of the room.He slowly closed the door, as if closing his own heart.The moment Zhiyu turned his head away, Yang Feng felt something, a drop of crystal quickly slid across his cheek, like the last ray of light in a dark night.

In the next few years, Zhiyu passed in such a chaotic way.But he knew that Yang Feng bought a house in the suburbs and opened a clinic.He always drives there every weekend.Seeing the figure sitting on the reclining chair from a distance, Zhiyu couldn't help but outline every outline of Yang Feng.

After several years of procrastination, Zhiyu finally could not resist the pressure from Xin Xueqi's family and her own pressure, and decided to marry her.Before dialing that number, Zhiyu fantasized about every possible possibility of them talking again countless times, but never imagined that it would be so plain, like an old friend he hadn't seen for many years—but, what else did he want?Maybe the senior is going to get married soon... The last ray of hope in Zhiyu's heart has also dissipated.He has arranged everything like a marionette, costumes, venues, guests... When Zhiyu really walked to the venue, he still unconsciously searched for Yang Feng's figure - still so handsome, every smile is so beautiful Warmth... Zhiyu bent the corner of her mouth.

He only heard the pastor ask: "Mr. Yue Zhiyu, whether poor or rich, sick or healthy, are you willing to marry Miss Xin Xueqi and love her forever?" Zhiyu looked at Yang Feng in a daze , smiled slightly: "I am willing."

What happened after that was like a dream.When Zhiyu saw Yang Feng sitting on the bench with his eyes slightly closed, his heart almost stopped beating.In an instant, it seemed that only the person in front of him was left in the world.The sun shines on the person in front of him through the mottled leaves, and the round spots shake slightly.The faint scent of Sophora japonica in the air made him feel as if it was yesterday.That's great, senior...he's still the same.

Life after marriage was very peaceful.Because of his father-in-law, Zhiyu's career is considered smooth.The heavy work made him only occasionally think of the person whose smile was as warm as the spring breeze.And his face gradually blurred.So be it, he thought.The senior may already have his own family, and his son is already three years old.So, for the past, let it return to ashes... However, there is still a slight regret.How about...he should take another look, just one...

It was raining lightly that day.Zhiyu drove the car to the place that she hadn't set foot in four years.After parking the car, Zhiyu suddenly felt scared.Senior still remember him?Senior, is he... okay?Zhiyu took a few deep breaths and turned around, but the scene in front of him surprised him: the pagoda tree in the courtyard had long since withered, and there were fallen flowers all over the courtyard.The house seemed cold, without a trace of popularity.He almost turned the house upside down and found nothing.The residents inside seem to have evaporated.Zhiyu frowned, with a faint sense of foreboding.He turned on the phone.

Half an hour later, after learning from his old classmate Wang Dong that Yang Feng's colleague Lu Yan had been transferred back to his original work unit, Zhiyu rushed all the way back impulsively.He saw the man.Zhiyu was startled, because this man he had met once, gave people a very different feeling now.This man with a few strands of gray hair and fine lines around his eyes.

The moment he saw him, Lu Yan's expression suddenly became extremely cold.He came over and frowned tightly: "Did I read it wrong, Mr. Yue Zhiyu, is it you?"

Before he could reply, Lu Yan showed a mocking smile: "I thought you would never show up again in this life. Why, what's your business?"

Zhiyu frowned unhappily: "Doctor Lu... I just want to ask you, do you know... where is Senior Yang Feng? I went to his house just now and found that he seems to have moved."

Lu Yan didn't answer.He took off his glasses and squeezed the space between his brows.

Zhiyu was a little anxious, but for some reason, the anxiety in her heart became more and more urging.

"You..." After a long time, Doctor Lu spoke.He was completely different from just now, as if he was seriously ill, his tone was full of exhaustion and sadness.

"Then... come with me. I think he would like to see you too."

Zhiyu got into Dr. Lu's car, and the two of them sat silently in the car.Zhiyu looked at Doctor Lu's profile.He seemed to be staring ahead, but he didn't seem to be.There seemed to be something hidden in those eyes, which made people feel lonely for no reason.Looking at the increasingly desolate outside, Zhiyu was a little worried, but her heart was faintly filled with boredom.

"Here we are." Lu Yan stopped the car.For some reason, it began to rain lightly again, which made people even more bored.Zhiyu got out of the car, a little displeased: "Doctor Lu, why did you bring me into this wilderness? We don't have any enmity, do we?"

Doctor Lu didn't say anything.He looked at the side of the road, then ran to a not very tall pagoda tree, tiptoed, and carefully left a branch.Then, he climbed up an inconspicuous stone step, as if he didn't feel the rain falling on him.Zhiyu was startled, and followed.The two of them turned around and walked through many steep mountain roads.

"Doctor Lu, isn't the senior living in seclusion? This is really a good place..." Zhiyu lost her temper, and even had the time to look at the surrounding scenery.

"Here we are." Doctor Lu stopped suddenly.Zhiyu just wanted to show a smile, but the smile stopped ridiculously at the corner of his mouth.

——In front are rows of tombstones, standing there very neatly.There are some fruits in front of some, but some are overgrown with weeds, as if they haven't been cleaned for a long time.Doctor Lu looked around and walked straight to a tombstone.Zhiyu watched stiffly as Dr. Lu walked forward and knelt on the ground indifferently, took out a handkerchief from his pocket, and carefully wiped the tombstone.

"Doctor Lu..." Zhiyu walked forward tremblingly, his lips twitching, "Are you joking, huh? I..." Zhiyu didn't continue because he saw the words on the tombstone clearly, It clearly says - Yang Feng.

Lu Yan put the branch of Sophora japonica flower in front of the tombstone, as if he was talking to an old friend: "Yang Feng, I brought him to see you today. Sorry, I forgot about you, even if... you are gone , I definitely don’t want him to know.” Lu Yan paused, and then said: “But that’s what I want. You never thought about yourself before you were alive. You hide everything in your heart. You are too tired. This time , let me help you, be self-willed once."

Lu Yan turned his head, took out a notebook from his arms, and handed it to Zhiyu.Zhiyu looked at the notebook, her dizzy pupils became focused.He asked gently: "This is...?"

"His diary. It was found among his...relics. You have a right to see it, I suppose."

Zhiyu opened the diary.The diary began...it should be when the senior just resigned.Zhiyu thought dully.The senior's handwriting was as chic and generous as ever, as if he was the same person.The previous diaries were all about small daily things, plain and warm.Zhiyu looked at it, unconsciously revealing