【Gao Gui】The Glorious Years

I can't deny that the elopement has an element of anger, and it's not entirely for our childish love.We pretended to submit to the secular world, went home obediently, took the opportunity to pack our bags, and of course stole some parents’ belongings, as excited as if we were about to embark on a thrilling adventure.The first period of cohabitation life was sweet and unusual.Okinawa and Tokyo are so different, from the landscape to the food, even the language has little similarity.We seem to have suddenly come to another planet, full of curiosity about everything.Playing around during the day and touching skin at night, you and I are like a couple of gods and gods, and even the degree of physical fit has improved compared to the past.I told him that there was no need to lower my voice anymore, and I would call out when I was excited. Anyway, I no longer had to be afraid of being caught by someone, and I liked listening to it.He blushed and scolded me for being dissolute, but gradually he really stopped deliberately suppressing his voice.I am very satisfied with this change. Every time when I want to live and die, I hold him tightly in my arms, and I can't help feeling how good it is to be free.

But as soon as the freshness wears off, troubles follow.We started bickering over trivial matters, started to speak ill of each other and even fought.This kind of situation usually occurs after dark, and the disappearing daylight stimulates which nerve in us, making us care about every detail.They are all young masters from wealthy families who have been spoiled until they grow up, and they are not yet mature, and they can't even settle down well. Naturally, it is difficult to be considerate and considerate to another stubborn donkey.We fell out again and again, quickly realizing that we had nothing but each other, so we had to compromise with each other in crude and primitive ways.No one is willing to subdue in words, but it is the body that condescends.

The wig is not a soft persimmon, but he is still gentler than me.Sometimes he really couldn't stand my arrogance and selfishness, and would ask me with red eyes if I was regretting it, so he deliberately punished him.I said maliciously that I didn't really like him at the beginning, but I was just dazzled by the pleasure of the body.He was so angry that he rushed out the door.

I was satisfied for no more than an hour, and soon became restless. He is so good-looking and simple-minded, what will he do if he meets a villain.My worry about him overwhelmed my bad temper, I temporarily lost that ridiculous self-esteem, ran around every familiar corner in the heavy twilight, and finally found him under a cold crimson cherry tree.His lonely face was even more distressed under the dim light of the street lamps. When he saw me, he didn't move at all, just sat with his knees in a daze.I said nicely to stop making trouble and go back.He refused.Distraught, he asked me if what I said earlier was true.I said of course not, I was just losing my temper.He had obviously lost his self-confidence, and hung his head without saying a word.In the end, I took him back like a sick puppy, washed his face, fed him water, and carried him to the bed to put him down.I just turned around and he sat up straight and rushed to hug me, saying over and over again don't leave me, you are not allowed to leave me.His voice was a little trembling, and I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed that my previous meanness made him so sad.

I hugged him tightly from behind and slept all night. In the morning, I found that his body temperature was not right.He has a fever.I have never had the experience of taking care of patients, so I had to follow the actions of my aunt at home when I was sick.I went to buy some antipyretic drugs, and then clumsily boiled water and cooked porridge for him to drink.He called his mother in a daze, and called me by my name.I can't help him find his mother, I can only kiss his forehead, hoping that the temperature there will drop soon.

After his fever finally subsided, I was so tired that I almost collapsed.Half-dream and half-awake, I felt him touching my face, and asked me why I was lying in front of the bed with such an ugly face.I pulled up all my energy and said to him, let me tell you, it was actually true that I said I didn't like you.

His fingers froze immediately, and I could imagine how gloomy that pretty face would be without looking up.

I continued to say, I really don't like you, I seem to love you so much, I'm almost as stupid as you, like a mother-in-law.

He just slowly bent down and fell on me, his long hair covering my head and face.He muttered for a long time, then don't say such hurtful things in the future, I will really die of sadness.

From then on, although we still quarreled and fought frequently, we tacitly never mentioned Tokyo again.Homeland has become a taboo, which we categorically and unscrupulously leave behind.

Just to treat each other favorably.

"Jin Zhu, are you asleep?" My lingering and slightly sour memories of the past were temporarily interrupted by the familiar gentle voice.It was very late at night, and he kept his voice extremely low, for fear of waking others up.

"No." I looked in his direction, a vague black shadow.Suddenly, I felt another dull pain in my heart, just like looking at him with bruises and hesitation before he ran away from home that year.

I said to him, "Come here and let me see you."

He cautiously walked up to me, as if he wanted to say something, but turned his face away from me for a few seconds.

"How are you?" He didn't know which direction to look.

"Isn't it right in front of you?" I replied lightly.Knowing that this is not what he asked.

His silence made me feel guilty.That's not how we've always gotten along.Shinsuke Takasugi and Kotaro Katsura, who met each other at the age of five and lived together at the age of 16, did they spend their days playing charades with each other?From being blind to each other to falling in love inexplicably, when is it not simple and rude?

There is such a moment?Even communication becomes obscure, and confession becomes shameful.

"How are you?" actually means "Does your wound hurt?" "Are you afraid?" "Are you sad?"He couldn't ask directly, because once he made it clear, it would be his own weakness.But I understand.He must also know that I understand.

I couldn't help stroking the long black hair that could make my heart flutter at any time, and I said sorry.

It was I who drove us to this desperate situation.My naive and passionate heroism.

Okinawa is only 340 miles from the mainland, and the Americans wanted to occupy it precisely to invade my homeland.I am indeed not an Okinawan, and I can't even understand their language, but my desire to protect my country is no different from that of thousands of Japanese teenagers.I also resent the government's ambitions, but once the flames of war spread to the interior, the people will not suffer?How will my parents suffer?After losing me, an unfilial son, do I still have to bear the grief and indignation of the loss of the country?

Not to mention I like Okinawa.The meaning of Okinawa to me and the wig is different from that of Tatsuma.There is still a way out for Tatsuma to leave home, maybe his family will accept Mutsu one day.As long as I and the wig return to Tokyo for a day, it will be impossible.Okinawa is Tatsuma's sanatorium, but it's a shelter for me and the wig.It has given us infinite tolerance and hope, and I can't help but give something in return.Chen Ma's refusal to join the army is actually what I expected. He is a rare existence among his peers. It is not derogatory to say this - he is a different person.He seems to be reckless and carefree, and his life is far less sophisticated than Mutsu's, but his heart is as stable as a motionless mountain.He has his principles that cannot be offended, and even puts personal freedom above national hatred and family hatred.War is the method he disdains the most, and it is completely contrary to the magnificent dream of a strong country in his heart.He didn't tell me everything, but I think I understand him and respect that.But after all, I am not a person with his personality. After all, I am still a hot-blooded young man who has just grown up. When it comes to guns and guns, I can’t help looking forward to it when I see military uniforms. I am proud of myself.

It's ridiculous to say that before I lost my left eye, I didn't really understand the danger of the battlefield.It was also after witnessing this scene of the dead rotting and the living suffering, that I probably knew what suffering was.

Just a bitter wig.Thinking of him suffering together in this purgatory makes my life worse than death.

Inseparable.An inseparability that I have been seeking for so many years.Why is it so difficult.It is difficult to leave one's homeland, daily necessities, rice, oil and salt are difficult, and now, even saving each other's lives is as rare as reaching heaven.

God hates us so much.How much I hate it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the wig." I apologized to him in a desolate way.

He punched me immediately, with an unhappy expression on his face, "I don't want to listen to such words."

I naturally know that he never feels that I owe him, but apart from this sentence, I can't think of anything else to coax him for a while.I used to have a thousand tricks to amuse him, but now suddenly I can't do them all.

We just faced each other silently until he leaned over little by little and put his head on my chest.

"Jin Zhu."

"Ok?"

"Jin Zhu."

"I'm here."

"Jin Zhu."

"..."

Afterwards I stopped talking and just listened quietly to him calling my name over and over again, as if not sure if I was still around.I suddenly had a strange hallucination, as if I was walking quickly on a dark road. Somei Yoshino in Tokyo and Ryukyu pine in Okinawa passed by quickly on both sides, and the school I studied in when I was a child passed by, 15 years old The temple fair we visited together when we were together, and the bicycle we bought after we came to the island.They died in the heavy night, and finally the only thing in front of me was the endless road under my feet.

It wasn't until his call gradually became an inaudible choking that I was returned to my soul and hugged this increasingly thin body tightly.At that moment I answered all his questions in my mind.Yes.I'm in pain.I am scared.

I'm as sad as you are.