[Letter White] I love your grave

3.5

Han Xin wanted to enter the elite circle, but after all, his original intention was to get angry with Li Bai.

He knew that Li Bai was the well-known young master of the Li family among the high-ranking elite in City B, and knew that the distance between the two of them was not only the region but also the family background, but he didn't care about these at all, and he knew that Li Bai didn't care either.So why break up?Han Xin had difficulty understanding Li Bai's thoughts, but he chose to accept Li Bai's thoughts.

If Li Bai wants to treat everything as if it never happened, then Han Xin will cooperate with him and forcibly let go of the hard-to-let go of the youth in the past few years.

He respects the other party's ideas and decisions, but this does not mean that he will act in full accordance with the other party's ideas.Perhaps because of this kind of thinking, before graduation, Han Xin relied on his own ability to start a company according to his own ideas. During this period, his network became wider and closer, and he was getting closer to the elite circle, but at this time he Ideas gradually changed.

If it is said that most of the reasons for him before were because of his anger with Li Bai, then now, he is really eager to make himself a step further and join the upper class.This is not only for his own future, but also for the person in front of him - Yin Qiang.

It was a wonderful accident that Han Xin met Yin Qiang.

Like most ordinary and romantic love stories, their encounter began with a small traffic accident.It's just that the roles seem to have been reversed.

——Han Xin looked at the front of the car in fear, only a few centimeters away, and he was about to take months or even years of forced vacation.

Han Xin was afraid, and the people in the car were even more afraid than him.I saw the door of the back seat of the car being pushed open vigorously, and even the people inside ran out in a panic, let go of their hands and bounced back——Han Xin felt sorry for the door when he saw this car—— —The one who got out of the car in a hurry was a well-dressed girl who looked very tender and familiar.

"Are you okay? Are you okay? Come on, I'll help you up."

Han Xin and his bicycle fell to the ground. The former didn't react at all because of the incident and was still sitting on the road stupidly. The latter couldn't move at all, so he had to look at his foolish master. The helping hand extended by the beautiful young lady showed an idiotic expression like a fool.

Have you ever seen a rich man?Still haven't seen the pretty lady?If Han Xin's bicycle could talk, he would immediately yell at Han Xin: Watch it!What the hell are you looking at!You stand up quickly!Stand up and help me up!What are you doing!

Han Xin stayed for a while, intending to put his hand on the opponent's according to the opponent's intention, but he stretched out his hand halfway and realized that he had just put this hand on the ground and made it dirty, just touching others like this The hand is not very good... So I retracted my hand again, intending to rub it on the clothes twice to clean it before stretching it out.

It's a pity that the girl in front of him doesn't intend to let him sit on the road anymore.

She firmly grabbed Han Xin's hand, pulled Han Xin up—God knows where she got so much strength—and asked, "Are you injured?"

Han Xin: "...ah, no?"

"I was asking you, why are you asking back? You were the one who was almost hit, not me!"

The eldest lady almost laughed out of his anger, "My name is Yin Qiang, what's your name?"

"Han Xin."

"Well, Han Xin, where do you want to go? If I drop by, I'll take you with me."

"XX University...but you don't need to bring it. I can push the car and walk there in a few minutes. I just sent the bicycle to be repaired..."

Yin Qiang: "Oh, what a coincidence! I am also from XX University, fate! Let me walk with you, I almost ran into you just now, I am worried."

So the two walked together inexplicably.

It's a young lady.

Han Xin thought belatedly.

The relationship between Han Xin and Yin Qiang is getting better and better.Han Xin found out that Yin Qiang and he were majoring in the same major, and even took elective courses similar to hers, but Han Xin was on his way to the library or part-time job every day after class, holding his mobile phone and giggling every day; Almost every day after class, she is on her way home, shopping, or on her way to help out at her father's company.As a result, it took two and a half years for the two of them to discover that they were classmates after four years of university.

Like all ordinary and romantic love stories, Han Xin and Yin Qiang are together.Because of love.

Once Yin Qiang asked him: "Do you have an ex?"

By coincidence, Han Xin kept Li Bai's affairs a secret. He said, "No, you are the first."

"Well, you're my first one too."

Yin Qiang smiled and rolled his eyes.

This is the first time Han Xin lied to her.

……

I don't know who was the first to spread the news, but the whole world knew about it overnight.

——Li Bai committed suicide.

died.

Die cleanly.

I heard that he died from taking sleeping pills. It seemed that he was afraid that the sleeping pills were of inferior quality. He took a lot of them in one breath, and then took a lot of painkillers. Maybe he was afraid that he would not die. He even dressed up and lay down in the bath Opened the floodgates and waited to die.

It is said that he also deliberately placed a stack of suicide notes (copied) on his desk, with a small note on the side, saying that he would let his acquaintances pass it on to each other, and if he didn't get it, he would make a few more copies. It's too much. The suicide notes are all made of photocopies, but the first draft is handwritten.Then next to it, there was a pile of envelopes.On the top of the envelope were a series of names, and a post-it note was pasted on the top, which said: Please Miss Zong Jing distribute it, thank you, and a picture of clasped hands was drawn on the side.

That's what planned suicide is all about.

As soon as the news got out, people who were acquainted with him found it inconceivable, especially those who received suicide notes and letters.At the beginning, I didn’t see anything, and a group of people shouted that it was deceptive, impossible, and non-existent. Later, those who followed the suicide note felt that Li Bai’s fake death was a joke. Those who followed?Those who have followed both have nothing to say to these two things. They understand why Li Bai did this, but they really don't understand why Li Bai does this.

As for Han Xin, he was fortunate enough to be given a copy.

Before watching, Han Xin didn't know why he gave up his life.After reading it, he still didn't understand.

This is a will that doesn't look like a will at first glance.

His will really has his own style.

"I can't find anything interesting, it's boring, I'm dead."

It's a bit ridiculous.

But in the end it was still indescribably sad.

There is also a line of small words at the bottom: I have picked out the posthumous photos for myself, and they are also black and white. Please do not change the photos without authorization. The photos are in the third drawer on the left side of my desk. There are color photos in my newly bought SLR , There is a folder called Selfie on the D drive of the computer, and there is a folder called 1 that contains black and white and color photos (you can also look at other selfies and think about me).

Han Xin wanted to laugh, but he couldn't.

He wanted to find people familiar with Li Bai, to ask where Li Bai is now, in the hospital morgue, at home, in the urn, or in the field, there must be a place to go, and Han Xin must have a look. Where is the guy who is idle and plans to commit suicide?

Unfortunately, Han Xin could not be found.

But one came to Han Xin's house.

Han Xin's cell phone rang suddenly. It was an incoming call from an unknown number. He clicked on it, and then came the voice of a strange woman.

"Hello, is it Han Xin? I'm Zong Jing, Li Bai's fiancée, open the door of your house. I'm standing outside right now. Li Bai has a letter for me to hand over to you."

Han Xin went to open the door.As expected, there was a familiar face standing at the door—it really was Zong Jing.Han Xin has never spoken to her, but he has seen her.

Zong Jing stretched out her hand and stuffed a letter into his arms: "Take it, I have to continue delivering the letter for Li Bai."

Han Xin wondered how the other party knew his phone number and address, but saw that she turned around and left immediately, and she seemed to be muttering something in her mouth, to the effect that "you still want to order me after you die. Is it human? If it's not related Well, who cares about you" and so on.

Han Xin watched Zong Jing go further and further, and it was difficult to call her back.They were not familiar with each other, and it seemed that Zong Jing's trip to deliver the letter would take a long time, and it was inconvenient to affect her work, so she turned around and went back to the study.

Yin Qiang happened to be away, so she went shopping with her little sister.Li Bai's story probably hasn't reached her yet.

Han Xin thought.Suddenly he was stunned again.What does this have to do with her?Han Xin asked himself again, but couldn't get a result.Just sit down and read that letter.

Miss Zong obviously didn't care about things.

There was a post-it note affixed to the pink envelope.It is familiar handwriting.It wrote Han Xin's mobile phone number and home address, and also wrote: Please come down to treat you to something good after a hundred years.Also specially drew a heart on the back.This also solved Han Xin's previous question, but in this way, he had another question:

How did Li Bai know his current phone number and address?

Since Han Xin broke up with Li Bai, he changed his cell phone number, and after meeting him again, he never told him where he lived.

"..."

Han Xin told himself: You can't get to the bottom of it.So he opened the envelope, opened the letter paper, and saw a line of scrawled writing on it.

Li Bai wrote: "I like you very much, but so be it."

"Thank you, and, sorry."

The inscription is a familiar name.

Han Xin was dumbfounded at the time. He looked up and down, and on such a huge piece of letter paper, he wrote these two sentences with a name?He turned the letter over again and found a surprise.

is an address.

Han Xin took out his mobile phone and searched, and found that it was a cemetery.

Cemetery...

……

The letters left by Li Bai were not too many, and were said to be too few, which were just above Zong Jing's tolerance limit. If there was one more letter, she might explode in temper and dig Li Bai out of the ground to beat her up. pause.

"The last letter!"

Zong Jing tried her best to cheer up, she really didn't know that Li Bai had so many acquaintances.Although she just sat in the car and let the driver take her from here to there, it really didn't feel good to sit in the car and sway from side to side.She looked at the last letter in her hand, the envelope was pink with flowers printed on it, she looked really girlish, but who was the recipient...

"Zong Jing received"

is hers?Zong Jing was stunned.While asking the driver to drive the car home, he opened the envelope and unfolded the letter paper to see what was written inside.

"You love me so much that you don't want to remarry. She is my darling and god-sister. She should come back to take care of my parents after I'm gone."

"I already told my parents. You just bring her when the time comes."

"The only request is, please help me to be filial."

"..."

Zong Jing didn't know what mood she was in now, she couldn't tell.But she felt that her heart was very uncomfortable.She didn't want to be forced into marriage, she didn't want to marry a man, so she just found a man who was pleasing to the eye and used each other to make a fake marriage, but now, he is dead, and before he died, he had made a clear plan for herself and her partner...

Isn't this forcing me to help you to be filial...

Zong Jing spoke silently, but tears rolled down her face involuntarily.

She thought she wouldn't cry for Li Bai, but now, she could hear herself slapping herself in the face.But this time she was slapped in the face, she was willing.

……

The news of Li Bai's official burial came.As expected, he was buried at the address written on the letter Han Xin received.

Han Xin picked a time when he was not busy with work, asked for a few days off, and slipped away to see him.

As written in the suicide note, he was handsome in that black and white photo.It seems that it was really carefully selected.

Han Xin sat down in front of Li Bai's tomb, stretched out his hand, touched his face in the photo, smiled wryly unconsciously, and said nothing.

What he wanted to say, he couldn't say anything.

In the end, Han Xin sat here all night, and the next morning, Han Xin finally said his first and last sentence.

"I still owe you a hug."

I don't know whether to say it to myself or to that person.

Han Xin didn't know how he got back, he only remembered his wife's worried eyes and cautious probing.He seemed to ask his wife to ask for leave for him, and told her not to worry, then went back to the study, took out the spare quilt, and began to fall asleep with his head covered.

Han Xin closed all the curtains and turned off all the lights.I spent it in a daze. I don't know how long it took. When he packed the bedding, drew the curtains, and opened the study door to go out, his wife told him: "You have been in there for three days. I didn't go in." Look at you, you've been sleeping."

Han Xin: "Sorry, I made you worry..."

Yin Qiang sighed, and said, "I knew you would say that." Then he turned around and brought him another bowl of porridge, "Eat it, your body won't be able to bear it if you don't eat for three days."

Han Xin is as good as others.

"Do you have a good relationship?"

"...Yes, we used to be very good friends."

This is the second and last time Han Xin lied to her.

Yin Qiang showed a regretful expression, "I don't know Li Bai very well... But it's surprising that he left. No one would have thought that he would... Why does he usually have a smiling face..."

Things seem to have come to an end here.

After a while, someone sent new news, saying: When the eldest lady of the Zong family was packing Li Bai's things, she found a depression diagnosis certificate in his drawer.It is said that Ms. Zong asked along the address and found out what Li Bai was suffering from... Smiling depression?

I also found Li Bai's diary, and the things recorded in it completely matched the characteristics of this aspect: persistent depression, loss of interest in all activities, loss of pleasure, decreased activity, significant weight gain or loss, insomnia or excessive sleep Feeling tired or low energy nearly every day, recurring thoughts of death.

But these have nothing to do with Han Xin.At least not with him now.

Han Xin still goes to work on time, works hard, returns home on time after get off work, and spends time with his wife. Everything is as it used to be.It's just that he likes to listen to a song that he never listened to before more and more.

"Nanshan is south, north is sad, there are grain piles in the Nanshan. The south wind is blowing, the North Sea is north, and there are tombstones in the North Sea."

……

Time flies, he can't count how long it has been since that day.

It's just that parents, wives, and friends left him one by one, leaving him and his children behind.

Han Xin couldn't count how many times he hugged his wife. From the anxiety and fear at the beginning of the first hug to the warm kiss after confirming his love, he became more and more used to Yin Qiang's existence and loved her more and more.Yin Qiang is undoubtedly a woman worthy of love, a wife who meets the ideals of all men, and a good mother.

But he still thinks of Li Bai.

Han Xin thought that one day when he met Li Bai underground, he must ask, "Why do you want to die?"

That eternal boy will definitely glance at him casually, "If you want to die, you can die, it's boring anyway." Then he pulls out a good-looking but helpless smile.

Now, most of the people Han Xin knew have left.

The kids are grown up, he's successful himself, and even if he doesn't do anything about it, his company will thrive.

Then Han Xin told himself that someday, the day has come.

Han Xin wrote the will, took care of the funeral, and then cleaned himself up, put on his suit, combed his hair, and asked the driver to take him to that place.

The cemetery where he finally dared to set foot for the second time.

Li Bai is still smiling, young, energetic, handsome, and will never change.

Han Xin, who was already old and gray at the temples, smiled and leaned against Li Bai's tomb, closing his eyes forever.

I still owe you a hug.

But I can at least die by your side instead.

I do not love you.

But I also have to admit, I can't forget you.

a small gift

"Li Bai's Little Diary"

X year X month X day

He looks like he likes the cute and nice type?

Then pretend to show it to him, but you still have to get the other people in order first.

I don't want him to learn about me from others: I'm just pretending to be cute.this kind of thing.

X year X month X day

Instead of waiting to be exposed, it is better to break it cleanly.

He likes to be obedient, sticky, gentle, considerate and never perfunctory, but I know that I am not.

I never was.

It's just to put on this appearance and put it in front of him to please him.

X year X month X day

I have never regretted it.

"Han Xin's Diary"

X year X month X day

I accidentally bumped into him bullying a little classmate today.

He is so cute.

Even threatening others viciously, I think it's so cute.

But he doesn't seem to want me to know this side, so I'm going to keep it a secret from him ^_^

X year X month X day

fraud.

We agreed to stay together forever.

It was he who said he wanted to be with me.

He was the one who said he wanted to break up with me.

He was also the one who left without authorization in the end.

What a bloody emotional liar.

X year X month X day

Decades have passed.

I still can't figure out what kind of feelings I have for him.

Young Muai, young obsessive, old, can't let go.

After all he won.

Maybe it's the bad nature of men.I am sure that I love Yin Qiang deeply, by virtue of our embrace, but I cannot deny the profound influence Li Bai has had on me over the years.

Yin Qiang is water, which intrudes into life and mind little by little; Li Bai is fire, which burns me so that people will never forget it, and burns myself, leaving no room for it.