where did the ancestors go

Yu Tang and Asen stood side by side to pee, and heard Asen say, "Master, what did we do last night?"

"It's a great job." Yu Tang replied casually.

"Master, don't talk like this, I ignore you."

Yu Tang smiled at the corner of his mouth, and wanted to make him happy, so he said, "Boy, who can pee farther than us?"

Asen glanced under the pond, "No."

"Then who do we pee higher than?"

"No."

"Tch, there is no sportsmanship at all."

"Master, why don't we compare who takes the longest time to urinate?"

"No!" Yu Tang trembled and put on his pants.

A Sen asked while peeing, "Master, where can we find our ancestors later?"

"Pay attention to your wording. It's your ancestors, not ours." Seeing that A Sen hadn't finished urinating, Yu Tang couldn't help observing curiously.

A Sen: "Oh, where can I find my ancestor?"

"Boy, listen, what's the sound?" Yu Tang didn't answer Asen's question, but asked him a question instead.

"The sound of peeing." Asen trembled, pulled up his pants, and tied his belt.

Yu Tang patted his buttocks, and with a slap, Asen cried out in pain, "Master, don't hit me."

"Boy, I want you to listen to natural sounds. There is still the sound of urinating. I suspect that you can't finish urinating. Why don't you go and check it quickly." Yu Tang said angrily.

Asen was reminded by Yu Tangyi, and listened attentively. After listening for a long time, the surroundings were quiet, so he said aggrievedly: "Master, I didn't hear anything."

"Oh, you have spent so many years studying for nothing. This is the African wilderness, and there are no birdsong, don't you find it strange?"

"Yes, why are there no birds singing?"

"According to my observation, the corpse here is full of evil spirits, so all birds have to leave their nests. Your ancestor must be nearby." Yu Tang swore.

"Great, let's go find him." Asen ran away after speaking, but was dragged back by Yu Tang by the collar.

"Why are you running around? Do you know which direction your ancestor is? If your ancestor didn't find you and lost it, I don't care who asks for money." Yu Tang taught.

"I'm so excited, so what should we do now?"

"What to do, go back with me." After Yu Tang finished speaking, he walked into the tent with his hands behind his back.

When Asen saw that Yu Tang was going to take him back to the tent, he stayed where he was in shock and shook his head, "Master, I don't want it anymore."

Yu Tang rolled his eyes, "I want to go back and find your ancestors, don't you still want to walk a hundred miles around like minesweeping?"

"Oh, tell me clearly, I thought I wanted that one more." Only then did Asen feel relieved and followed Yu Tang into the tent.

The two borrowed a wooden stake from Cuihua and placed it in the middle of the tent as an altar for Yu Tang's practice.Then spread a piece of yellow cloth, which is full of Sanqing ritual utensils, a bowl of incense burner with three sticks of incense, Sanqing bells, paper charms, gossip mirrors and mahogany swords, two red candles and a bowl Sticky rice.Asen lit the candles, and then asked: "Master, are you going to worship with me? Why are there still candles?"

"Waitang? Do you still want to have a bridal chamber? You are ignorant, this is to guide your ancestors!" Yu Tang took out the gossip fairy clothes from his cloth pocket, put them on, and put on the pure yang scarf, with a straight face, It looks like a serious Taoist priest.

"It's not my fault. There is a specialization in art, and I'm not a Taoist, so of course I don't know." Arsen argued.

Yu Tang ignored him, brought over an empty bowl, bit his middle finger, and dripped blood into the empty bowl.After dripping more than half a bowl and still not stopping, Asen's face turned pale, and he asked worriedly: "Master, will this cause anemia?"

Sweat dripped from Yu Tang's forehead, and he didn't bother to wipe it off, and replied, "For your ancestors, it should."

"How long are you going to let it go, master?" Asen asked anxiously.

"I have a sense of proportion, don't worry about me." Yu Tang Dayi said awe-inspiringly.

"Master, but it's me that you bit, and my blood that you spilled!" Asen said weeping.

"Man, it's okay to let some blood out, just be stronger. Besides, to find your ancestors, of course you have to let out your blood. If you let me go, wouldn't it bring my ancestors here?" After Yu Tang finished speaking, he let go of Asen's grip. hand, Asen hastily put his fingers in his mouth, stepped aside, and looked at Yu Tang aggrievedly.

Besides, Yu Tang took out a small scarecrow from his cloth pocket, with a small Sanqing talisman still stuck to its head.He inserted the scarecrow into the incense burner, between the three sticks of incense, then took the mahogany sword in his hand, inserted a Sanqing talisman with the tip of the sword and wound it three times around the scarecrow's head.With his left hand free, he stretched out his sword fingers to pick up the candle wick and placed it in the center of the mahogany sword grid, with a Yin Yang Eight Diagrams engraved in the center.Then with a flick of the hand, the wick slides down the body of the mahogany sword to the tip of the sword, igniting the Sanqing Talisman.Put the burning Sanqing Talisman into the bowl containing Asen's blood, stir it gently, dip the blood with your hands and flick it on the scarecrow's head, then take the scarecrow down and put it on the altar on its back.

I heard Yu Tang read in his mouth: "The old man is looking for his relatives, and the old man shows his spiritual light. Pity my descendants with filial piety, and invite the old man to come back, let's get up!"

The scarecrow stood up suddenly, but only stood there for a moment, then fell down quickly.Yu Tang frowned, his face serious.A Sen was taken aback when he saw it, and hurried over and asked, "Master, do you want to help?"

"Yes! Shut your mouth and stand aside." After Yu Tang finished speaking, he stretched out his sword and pointed at the scarecrow's head, "Get up!"

The Scarecrow got up again and fell down.Yu Tang yelled again, "Get up!" The scarecrow seemed to be doing sit-ups, stood up and fell down, stood up and fell down.

Yu Tang reached out to wipe the sweat off his forehead, frowning, "Asen, your ancestor couldn't stand up, probably because he was stepped on by an elephant!"

"Ah? Then my ancestors are tied into cakes?" Asen's face was full of grief.

"The elephant is alright, but it's a rhinoceros. It won't leave any bones that your ancestors ate." Yu Tang didn't believe in evil. This time, he stretched out his sword fingers and dipped blood on the scarecrow's head again, "Get up!"

The scarecrow still stood up and fell down.Furious, Yu Tang picked up the mahogany sword beside him, put the tip of the sword on the scarecrow's head, and then raised the tip of the sword.The scarecrow stood up slowly following the peach-wood sword, but the straighter he stood, the more the peach-wood sword bent. Yu Tang felt that the peach-wood sword in his hand sank more and more like a fishing rod for catching a big fish.Finally, Yu Tang couldn't stand it any longer, and when he let out his strength, the "duang" of the mahogany sword straightened, and Yu Tang fell forward, almost knocking over the altar.Looking at the scarecrow again, it returned to the state of lying flat again.

"Master, are you okay?" Asen asked with concern.

Yu Tang waved his hand and said, "It should not be stepped on by an elephant. Elephants are timid. I must have been scared away after tossing around for so long. I guess your ancestor was stuck in a crack in the rock. It seems that we There has to be a change.”

After Yu Tang finished speaking, the sword pointed to the scarecrow's head, "There is no way out, turn the world upside down!"

The scarecrow turned over under the guidance of Yu Tang, and then Yu Tang read again: "Bow your head to the grass, and sweep away the thousand troops!"

Seeing him leading the scarecrow around with his sword pointing, Yu Tang told Asen that this move was called Invincible Hot Wheels, and its purpose was to kick away the stones around his ancestors.

Asen saw that the scarecrow was being turned around by Yutang Lane, and he didn't know how many times he was spared. He hurriedly stopped Yutang and said, "Master, enough is enough, if you keep turning around, my ancestor will feel dizzy."

Yu Tang nodded, "Well, your ancestor has now cleared the obstacles and can break out of the rock!" After speaking, he pointed at the scarecrow, who stood up briskly this time and stood on the altar.Yu Tang breathed a sigh of relief, picked up the mahogany sword and led the scarecrow forward.Seeing the scarecrow jumping forward following the tip of the mahogany sword, Yu Tang smiled and said, "Boy, your ancestor is back. Let's speed up and let your ancestor make a big jump!"

At this time, I heard the noise outside the tent, and Asen was about to go out to see what happened. As soon as he opened the tent, a tall figure fell from the sky and landed in front of him.

Asen yelled, "Ah, it hurts me to death!" Then he rolled on the ground.

Yu Tang looked up and saw that the person standing outside the tent was dressed in Qing Dynasty official uniform, with a red hat, dazzled feathers, and a corpse-repelling amulet stuck on his head. It was Narsu, the ancestor zombie of Asen!

Only then did Yu Tang feel relieved, the corpse-suppressing talisman was still there, it seemed that the zombies didn't suck human blood, so they wouldn't hurt people's lives, and he had done a lot of good deeds.

Yu Tang: "Boy, your ancestor is back, why are you still rolling on the ground like a donkey? Are you so happy?"

"Master, my ancestor stepped on my foot!"

Yu Tang cut out, "It's probably because your ancestor was dissatisfied with you. It took so long to find him. Your ancestor must have been bitten by a rhino and came back to vent his anger on you."

"Master, rhinos eat grass, how could they bite my ancestors?"

"Because your ancestor has a green light on his head. I don't think your ancestor has seen you for a few days, and he seems to have gained weight. Maybe it was swollen from being trampled by an elephant."

"Master, I don't allow you to say that about my ancestor. My ancestor is very handsome and silly."

"Am I handsome and silly when I found your ancestor?" Yu Tang asked while pulling Asen up.

Asen didn't care about him, he kowtowed to his ancestor and said, "I didn't see Xiao."

"Are you just stupid?" Yu Tang hugged his shoulders, his expression was speechless, but he saw Asu leading a group of clansmen coming over. Judging by their momentum, they were not very friendly.

Yu Tang quickly patted Asen on the shoulder, "Boy, I'll catch up with your ancestors later, you see that Asu brought people here, and it seems like they're going to fight."

Asen turned his head and saw that Asu had already walked over and muttered to him.Yu Tang tilted his head and asked, "What is he thinking?"

"Master, Asu said my ancestor is their god, and told us not to take him away." Asen replied, "This is how to do it. If we take our ancestor away by force, Asu will definitely beat us."

"Hehe, he came to rob you of your ancestor. It's a joke that your ancestor's virtue can still be an African indigenous god. Tell him, we will definitely take away our ancestors. We Chinese pay attention to returning fallen leaves to their roots. In addition, using zombies as gods God, it will only bring bad luck and will not lead to good results." Yu Tang didn't have much patience to fight with Asu, and now he just wanted to return to Hong Kong and get his own reward.

On the other side, when Asen translated Yu Tang's words, Asu didn't buy it, and led the tribe to shake the indigenous spears in their hands, and let out a low growl of "Wow Ka Ka Ka".Without Asen's translation, Yu Tang understood that he was threatening himself.

Yu Tang walked up to Asu, pointed at Asu's chest, and said, "Boy, don't make trouble. Zombies are not something you, a country bumpkin, can mess with. They will kill people. There are not enough people like you." He sucked blood."

Asu's expression was unconvinced, and his expression was higher than words. Yu Tang could see it clearly, and he understood it in his heart.He had no choice but to take off the corpse-suppressing talisman from the zombie. The zombie showed a fierce look and jumped two steps forward. Yu Tang raised his hand and stuck the corpse-suppressing talisman on the zombie again.

"Whether you look at it or not, this one, listen to me, mine." Yu Tang pointed at the zombie and then at himself.

Asu didn't care, walked up to the zombie, took off the corpse talisman with one hand and put it on again, showing that he could control it too.

Yu Tang rolled his eyes, went back to the tent and brought the Sanqing bell from the altar, shook it lightly, and the zombie followed him.Unexpectedly, Asu took a string of bells from his companion, and with a shake, the zombie turned around and followed Asu.

Yu Tang shook three times in a row, recalling the zombie, and Asu also shook a few times, and the zombie jumped back and forth between the two of them.But after Naersu suffered, he almost became a Tigger. Yu Tang and Asu kept ringing the bell, and he kept jumping back and forth.

A Sen was dumbfounded, and shouted: "Master, what should we do about this, A Su knows the way."

"Fart, my majestic Taoism is profound and unpredictable, how can he, an African country bumpkin, understand it. He is just a coincidence. I have to show him some color and let him know what the Dao Wuji is!"

As Yu Tang said, he stretched out his hand and bit his middle finger hard. This time it was his own.He flicked his middle finger forward, and the blood splashed on Asu's face. Asu didn't understand what was going on, so he wiped it with his hand.Immediately afterwards, Yu Tang put his middle finger on the zombie's corpse talisman, and the blood soaked the talisman paper.

Looking at the zombie again, his eyes were bloodshot, and his mouth opened with two fangs. He smelled the bloody smell of Yu Tang and ran towards Asu.Asu was startled, and quickly shook the bell in his hand. The zombie was unmoved, and Asu threw the bell in his hand in fright, and ran away.The zombie chased after him closely, caught up with Asu in two big jumps, stretched his stiff arms forward, and caught Asu.Asu took the opportunity to turn around and tear off the zombie's corpse-suppressing talisman, and put it on again, but it didn't work at all. The zombie was no longer under the control of the talisman, and only focused on biting Asu.

Asu screamed, and the tribe stepped forward to help, but they were not as strong as the zombies, so they couldn't pull them apart.Seeing that the zombie was about to bite Asu's axle-like black neck, Yu Tang stretched out his hand and took off his shoe and stuffed it into the zombie's mouth, then asked, "You bumpkin, are you convinced?"

Asu's face was full of panic, and before he could answer, Yu Tang shook his head, "It seems that you are not convinced, so forget it." He stretched out his hand and pulled out his shoes again, and the zombie opened its mouth to bite again.

Yu Tang put on his shoes and wiped the zombie's saliva on the ground. Asen complained from the side: "Master, don't you just stuff dirty things into my ancestor's mouth?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm used to it, I thought it was you." Yu Tang typed casually.

The other Asu, with the help of the tribe, broke free from the zombie's clutches, ran over and hid behind Yutang, pointed at the zombie and gasped for breath, speechless.Yu Tang looked at him, "What else do you want?"

Asu quickly waved his hand, saying that he didn't want the gods anymore, and Yu Tang was satisfied.The zombie jumped over and wanted to catch Asu, but Yu Tang kicked the zombie's face in the air, kicking Naersu.Before the zombie could stand up, Yu Tang reached out and tore off the corpse-suppressing talisman covered with his own blood, and then pasted a new corpse-suppressing talisman on it.

The zombie settled down, and Yu Tang brought him to Asen's side by shaking the three clear bells.Asen pouted, "Master, you can bully me, but you can't bully my ancestors. If you kick him again, I will turn against you!"

Yu Tang pursed his lips and said, "Okay, I understand, now the ancestor wants you back. But you see Asu seems very sad, he lost the god, why don't we make it up to him."

"I'll give him the money," Arsen said.

"It's useless. He's an African native. Where can he spend his money? There's not even a small shop here. You might as well give me the money, and I can give you some advice." Yu Tang smiled greedily.

A Sen: "Master, stop making trouble, what's your idea?"

Yu Tang: "Don't we still have a backpack of Coke? Asu must have never drank it. If you give him all the Coke, it will be regarded as compensation."

"Good idea! I'll get it right away." Ah Sen went back to the tent and took out his backpack, and distributed the Coke in the backpack to Asu and his tribe.Asu held the coke can, not knowing what it was, and shook it.

Yu Tang was holding a Coke can in his hand, motioned to him, and pulled the ring, with a "squeak". "Look at it, you can drink it, you can try it too."

Asu followed suit, and also pulled the pull ring, but before he shook it a few times, the Coke spewed out all of a sudden, and Asu was so scared that he dropped the Coke and ran away.Yu Tang spread his hands, beckoned Asu back again, picked up the coke can on the ground, handed it to Asu, and beckoned him to take a sip.

Asu shook his head to show he didn't dare, Yu Tang took a sip of the Coke himself, "Look, it's not poisonous."

Asu's ability to accept new things is better than his tribe's. He saw Yutang's behavior and followed suit.I took a sip with a Coke can, it was sweet.This made his eyes shine, and he drank a few more gulps, choking, and the foam of Coca-Cola came out of his nose.The clansmen thought he was poisoned and spitting, and they were so frightened that they threw away the Coke in their hands.

Asu wiped his nose, "Hey!" hiccupped, and then danced and waved for the clansmen to drink Coke.

"Master, it seems that Asu is happy again." Asen said from the side.

"Yes, a simple-minded person like him is the easiest to be happy, but I can't." Yu Tang clicked his mouth.

"Master, how can you be happy?" Asen asked.

"I am the happiest like last night!"

"I do too."