heart beating

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If you want to be lingering/the focus should be looser/

love blindly/

Willing to rely on hallucinations/fabricated happy love/

Really wear it and then count/

You are with me/in my eyes it is still possible/

find each other/more interesting side/

Eunchi completed the demo of this song in the recording studio, and after the end, Shifeng went in and stood beside her. "This song is called "Mongolia". It might as well be called self-deception." "I just think that since I want to get into a relationship, why should I see everything so clearly. Isn't it good for everyone to keep a blurred line between each other?" "Everyone's interpretation of the lyrics is different. Maybe the blurred boundaries you said will turn into self-deception in my mouth in the future."

Chapter 37 The Secret of Thirty Dollars

It was early in the morning when Xueman came out of Hongqiao Airport, and she forgot how many times such a dim light accompanied her out of the terminal building and got into a taxi.When I quarreled with Eunchi and "run away from home", I felt like I would never go back.Because that bastard would never give her a call just because she was out of town.

Xueman often leaves without saying goodbye, but it cannot be said to be intentional.There was a sudden movement in the promotion of the new album, Henry informed her yesterday that she would be given one day to prepare to fly to Shanghai.Xueman said, don't wait, let's go right away.After packing his luggage and making dinner, Yinchi hasn't come home yet.Thinking that the guy had a meal with her as deserted as in the library, he was still very angry, so he didn't call her at all, and went to the airport by himself.

This morning, Xueman took a taxi to the hotel arranged by Henry as usual.As soon as he got in the car, the driver began to talk non-stop in Wu Nong's soft language: "Shanghai, only this time is tolerable. The air is fresh and the traffic is smooth."

She looked out of the window, her mind was full of the images and conversations with Yinchi a few days ago.The driver's soliloquy is just a background to the noise.She doesn't care what's going on in Shanghai, what's going on during the day and what's going on in the middle of the night.Her mind was still on the restaurant and the meal before she left.Xueman feels that she is a sensible girl, and "leaving" in a timely manner is also a necessary talent for a sensible lover.

The driver seemed to find that his topic did not arouse any reaction, but he obviously thought it was natural to chat with passengers during this time, so he changed the topic and shifted the focus to Xueman. "Miss, did you take an early flight? It looks like you haven't slept all night."

Due to air traffic control, the plane at [-]:[-] pm was changed to [-]:[-] am.So, it can take two hours or eight hours from Guangzhou to Shanghai.When Xueman ran to the new boarding gate, she met a group of students who were going to Shanghai for fun, and only heard one of them whisper, "Is it her?" "Impossible, why is she alone?" "No assistant?" "It's her. She's thinner than on TV..."

Xueman lowered her head instinctively, and suddenly a ground attendant said quite clearly: "Miss Ye, please sign!" After that, there was an impromptu small student autograph session, but the venue was not at the campus but at the boarding gate.Later, more and more people watched the excitement, Xueman was squeezed to the glass door and slipped her handbag.Mobile phones, keys, cosmetic cases, wallets... scattered all over the place.The students saw her embarrassed and wanted to help pick it up, but she said "no need" one by one.During this tugging and tugging, he was pushed to the ground, and his elbows were scratched.Suddenly, there was three seconds of complete silence, and everyone was dumbfounded.Xueman threw things into her bag in the silence before everyone's eyes, mobile phone, keys, cosmetic case, wallet... and a pack of Coke ginger tea.Cola ginger?Xueman remembered how she refused to take medicine when she was sick, and was coaxed by that guy to drink three bowls of lemon cola and ginger.On the back is a note with only four words - "office drink".

The driver was still persistent: "Are you a student or are you already at work? Oh, why are you ignoring him? You are so cool, it must be difficult for a boyfriend to handle you. You should have a boyfriend, right?"

Xueman looked at the rear mirror and finally nodded to him, she was wondering why a stranger talked more than her?Seeing that Xueman had some reaction, the driver continued to ask: "Then you must love him very much, right? He must be very handsome, right? Does he treat you well? Will you two get married..."

The car stopped at the intersection and waited for the red light, and the workers on the side of the street had already made breakfast for the day.Xueman remembers being at such an intersection one afternoon, waiting for such a red light, and seeing red bean mochi on the street, she suddenly wanted to eat it and asked Yinchi to get off the car to buy it. "It's the opposite direction, it's a little far away. May I buy it for you tomorrow?" "No, I'll eat it now." Watching her jump out of the car and cross a street, the hurried back showed her incomparable respect for her. pet.Xueman and the driver sat in the car, Wanwan's eyes were full of happiness.

But at this time, she was alone in the back seat, looking at the steaming breakfast stand, which was about the same distance as that day.The round trip took more than 100 meters, Xiaochi dodged the heavy traffic within 1 minute and came back with the box of chubby mochi, just in time for the red light to turn green.

Xueman always hopes that Xiaochi can pamper her arrogance and match her expected life style.She never thought about how she would live when she was not in Guangzhou in the early morning without her own like this?How would she spend her time outside of work?Does she miss her?Xueman knew that she must have missed her, otherwise she wouldn't have said the phrase "You... will come back... right?" But she didn't understand, she obviously missed herself, but that guy would rather hold the phone Count down the minute and second hands on the wall.

Finally arrived at the hotel, the driver turned around and said: "Miss, 170." Xueman suddenly said: "I have a girlfriend, she is very handsome, treats me very well, I love her very much, I hope one day I can hold her hand Go to respect the wine of all the guests." Then he gave him 200 yuan and said "no need to look for it".The driver watched her get out of the car suspiciously and closed the door.

Xueman watched the car leave slowly, with a smile on his face.In any case, she spent 30 yuan to speak her mind.In a taxi, the driver who spoke Wu Nong's soft language heard her secrets and thoughts.

Xueman thinks that happiness always has a process, and the process is always ups and downs.

Chapter 38 A Night Surrounded by Sadness, So Long

For a while, I didn't go to the coffee shop because of the jingle.When I went in, I realized that the boss was not open during this time.It's rare that both he and the proprietress are here today.

"Xiaochi is here. Just in time, I made a cake. Let's eat together." Compared with the last meeting, the proprietress has lost a lot of weight, and the smile on her face is also a little pale. "Okay. I'm going to get the plates." Yinchi walked into the bar, intending to mix a cup of coffee and cake for himself, but saw a small packet of pills beside the coffee machine, with the name of the proprietress written on it. "By the way, make a glass for your boss." The lady boss came in and saw her gaze fell on her own medicine.

"Are you feeling unwell?" "Hyperthyroidism. It's okay. It's under treatment." The proprietress patted her on the shoulder, "Don't do it for too long." Yinchi knows hyperthyroidism, and it's an emotion-related disease.I remembered that the boss said that he had confessed everything about the accident to his wife two years ago.He said she always wanted to know.He said he didn't want to lie to her.The three of them worked together to finish the pound cake. Although they were talking and laughing, Yinchi saw that the two of them were in a state of incongruity.Afterwards, Eunchi went home to sleep, and the boss said they walked around.

The two walked to the playground near the cafe, which was Yingxi's favorite place when she was a child.The slide and swing she loves to play on have become rusty from the sun and rain.That color is like dried blood.A few days ago, the news reported that the city government started to rebuild the old buildings in this area, and there is no way to keep it here. "I haven't been here for 11 years, and I'm afraid I will think of Yingxi." She looked at her husband and smiled, "Over the years, smiles are too precious on our faces." "As long as you are okay, I am happy." "Actually you are You didn't go to the cafe because you felt that I had a problem. You wanted to ask me, but you didn't dare." "I heard you crying in the bathroom last night." He held her hand, his eyes were full of distress, " I told you that you must tell me if you are unhappy, even if you lose my temper." "I didn't sleep all night last night. In fact, I didn't sleep for many nights. By the next day, I didn't want to Wake up. I know you went out on sleeping pills last night, but I don't care, I'm tired. I know I shouldn't, and I know I should do better, but I can't. Why can't I Come!" "Don't blame yourself, you have done a good job. Seeing that I am unhappy, you watch a movie with me, and you obviously don't like coffee, but you also help me try new products. You have done everything well I think of me well, if you weren't with me all these years, I would have collapsed long ago." "I'm not as good as you said!" She looked at the man who had accompanied her for most of her life, and felt that God really knew how to joke, " In the past 11 years, you have worked hard to bring our life back to the way it was before, but how can it be the same? Yingxi has left, and everything is different!" "It will be fine, we will make it through." He hugged She wanted to give her strength, but was pushed away by her. "I can't do it! Every time I try to convince myself it was an accident. You've done everything you can in the circumstances, but I just can't convince myself to believe you! Why? Why you can Save her but you will not save her!" Her stomach convulsed, and for a moment, she felt that she wanted to kill the person in front of her, "Why don't you just lie to me forever?" "Trust me, everything will be fine." He stepped One step forward, pushed away by her for the second time. "I'm not like this today, it's been a long time. I'm not like this because I'm sick, I'm sick because of this. I'm really tired, and I feel like a stone is pressing on me when I go home to get the key to open the door." "I'm sorry, I ignored your feelings." At this moment, the pain in her body spread to him like an infectious disease, taking root crazily. "You've done enough. I met Anna the other day and she told me that she asked you to be a judge for the European competition, but you refused. If it weren't for me, you would have gone, maybe by now The judges of the World Series." "Isn't it great now? I really think it's great now. You are enough." "You often say that you want me to think more about myself. What about you? Actually, I'm not the only one who lost Myself, even you. I don’t know when the conversation between us has become cautious. You are afraid to mention Yingxi, and we have nothing to talk about except her.” She had a strong nasal voice, but she continued to say, "Obviously we agreed, we will walk with each other, why can't I do it! Why can't I do it alone?" After living for 45 years, this is his Feel powerless for the second time. "I thought doing more was for your own good. It turned out that I was hurting you." "I hate myself so much, why can't I trust you?" She squatted down slowly, feeling powerless so that she could no longer support herself, " I feel so hard even looking at you now, what should I do?" This was the second time she cried hoarsely in front of him, and he was the same as 11 years ago, unable to do anything except blame himself.