taste time

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Maybe it's because I didn't take it very seriously, like the teacher said, keep a normal mind, but it turned out to be okay, from the top ten in the class to the top ten.However, according to the simulated upper line, it is still lower than the first line.The teacher may think that I still have hope, and continue to talk to me one after another. The number of talks has increased, and I can almost recite what they said.

Once the exam is over, it's time for winter vacation.It's almost the Chinese New Year again, and I don't have time to go home, so I listen to my parents and shut myself up in the room to read.As for whether I read in the room or not, they don't know.With the earplugs in my ears, I flipped through the textbooks for a while, and then took out my mobile phone to chat with Shiya.Listen to He Jiong's "Gardenia Blossoms"

Gardenias bloom

so beautiful so white

In this season we're leaving

. . . . . .

Can not help but tears hazy.This season, we're leaving.

Shiya, I really can't bear it!

When I saw my cousin again, he really changed a lot, and my uncle finally agreed to let him go to a vocational middle school.When there was no one around, I asked him how he was, and he just said that he had already separated, and there was no expression on his face.He has already learned to smoke, and he always argues with his uncle. It seems that I don't know him anymore.

"When did you learn to smoke?"

He stubbed out his cigarette, "It will be when you're with him."

"Don't smoke all the time, it's bad for your health."

"Heh, this kind of thing is addictive. Once you get into it, you can't quit it anymore."

I know what he's talking about! And he knows I get it.I am as pitiful as he is, the two of us can only lick each other's wounds silently in a corner, and even the closest relatives dare not let them know.

"Sister, this circle is really deep! I thought it would be enough for me and him to like each other, but it's not that simple at all. He is a few years older than me, and his parents will arrange for him. He can't do anything, and I don't care Pain. Are we doomed to hide in the dark forever? Can we really just be alone all the time?"

His words should only be whispered in my ear.

"No, the world is so big, there will always be someone who stands by your side."

It's just that even if the case is raised, it's hard to agree.What's more, this road may not be able to go to the end at all, and it can only be taken step by step.

In the early hours of the morning, I received a text message from Shi Ya, "Happy Birthday!"

I just remembered that today is my 19th birthday.Get up and open the window, the cold wind blows in.Pieces of things were flying outside, and when I stretched out my hand, it was snowing.Thinking of going to enjoy the snow with Shiya last year, I took out my phone and looked through the photos I took at that time.I am scissorhands in every picture, and she said I am the second.She smiled so brightly and cleanly in every picture, the more I looked at it, the more I couldn't bear to let it go, I just wanted to hold her in my arms.

After waking up, I saw another text message from Shi Ya, "I've been thinking about it for a long time and I still don't know what to give you. Just tell me what you want."

It's her style, her carefree virtue.Suddenly remembered, "Then I want you, can I give you?" Of course this is just a joke.

After waiting for a long time, she replied with two words, "Change!"

hehe.She rejected me again.

"Just kidding, I haven't thought of it yet, I'll tell you when I think of it later."

This time she fell very fast, and immediately threw a "Okay!"

Another text message came, I thought it was Shiya, but I didn't expect it to be sent by the bank "Your end number **** card 9:07 on the 13th ICBC income (Yang Wenhua) 1000 yuan...".Brother sent me money again.

"Sister, happy birthday. Buy what you want. If you need money, tell me."

My heart felt warm, "Yeah, thank you brother!"

"Silly girl, tell me what to say to thank you."

It's nice to have a brother.It feels so good to be held in the palm of your hand.

It's the beginning of school again, and the last semester, in fact, is only about [-] days away.I thought in my heart, I must cherish it and spend it well.

It's just that I didn't expect that God would play a joke on me again.Maybe it's because they say that people are not as good as heaven.

☆, come out

Countless times in my dreams I dreamed that my parents would discover my secret one day, and I also thought about how I should confess to them countless times.At the time, I didn't know the word "coming out." All I knew was that I had an unspeakable secret, and it was painful to keep it.

Originally, I wanted to finish my senior year in peace, but I didn't want to be crushed by the next wave of waves, with nowhere to escape. I wanted to end my life several times.

Because mobile phones are not allowed, the class teacher told me that my mother told me to go home.The head teacher didn't understand this very much, and said that the college entrance examination is less than [-] days away. If it's not something special, it's better not to let me ask for leave, but my mother still insists that I go home.

Before I had time to say anything to Shi Ya, I took a ride back. I thought I would be able to go back to school in a while.

Spring is cold, and when it is cold in spring, I still can't help pulling my clothes when I got out of the car.When I entered the door, the room was quiet. I thought there was no one at home, but when I looked up, I saw my mother sitting on the sofa knitting a sweater.I started knitting last year, and it was for my brother, but I haven't been free, and I haven't finished knitting yet.

"Mom, didn't you go to work today?"

Mom bowed her head and continued knitting without answering.The atmosphere is eerie.

"Mom, you asked me to come back, what's the matter?" I changed my shoes and walked over to sit on the sofa.

She raised her head and gave me a deep look, her eyes were very complicated, she hesitated to speak, and only sighed heavily.I began to feel a little uneasy.He asked tentatively, "Mom, do you have something to tell me?"

She was thoughtful, and waited for a while before she said lightly, "Don't go to school in the future. We will not take the college entrance examination this year, and we will repeat the exam next year. I will go to school tomorrow to move all my things back, and you will stay at home." Bar."

The fear is spreading, and I can't believe it, "Why? I gave up before taking the exam this year? I still have dozens of days to take the college entrance examination, how can I not go? Even if I want to repeat the exam, I have to wait until I pass the exam. Read it in a year."

"What are you yelling at me! Now I'm not discussing with you, I've made up my mind."

"Why?" I was almost questioning, "Mom, you have to give a reason for everything. I am so old, how can you say that the decision is made for me?" I have never resisted my parents. It's what they say, but this time, I really feel unreasonable.

Mom's tone was also very blunt, "Why are you crying! Isn't it embarrassing? Why are you doing this?"

"What's wrong with me? I always do what you say, and I'm so tired. How can I embarrass you? I didn't steal or rob. The teacher said I cheated. In fact, I didn't at all, but you also Don't believe me, do you think I'm a daughter?" Almost wanting to shout out all the grievances, tears flowed down.

Mom also cried, her tone softened, her eyes were full of self-blame, she came over and hugged me, "Yes, it's all my fault and your dad's, we only want you to study, and ignore your other things. But, child, You really listen to Mom this time, don't go to school, huh?"

"Why? Mom, you have to tell me why. Why don't you go to school?"

Mom looked at me, "It's for your own good not to let you go, I can't watch you destroy yourself. I can't let you follow in your aunt's footsteps!"

Like a thunderbolt, I froze on the spot, Mom already knew!

"Qingshan, you are still too young to distinguish some facts. You can stay at home. The next year's exam will be the same. I have thought a lot these days. We used to only pay attention to your grades and ignored you too much. Before you make an irreparable mistake, your father doesn't know about it, so it's still too late."

Mom, she never made it clear, maybe she is still unwilling to admit the fact that I am gay!