Look at each other

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At the dinner table, my mother routinely took care of my emotional life, and I was frightened and confused by her ambiguous gaze. She then asked about Xia Xiaoyou's situation, which made me wonder if she really heard it from Director Xia. What, how can I cope?After eating a meal in fear, my mother didn't say anything.

After taking the initiative to ask Ying to wash the dishes, I stayed with my mother on the sofa and watched a series.The plots of family ethics serial dramas are over and over again, which is the same set more than ten years ago. I am not interested in it, and my mother also lacks interest in watching it, but she still sits on the sofa with her back straight and her eyes are not blinking. He stared at the direction of the TV screen for a moment.

"Mom?" I called her in a low voice, but she sat neatly as if she didn't hear it and didn't respond at all.

I raised the volume and called her again, and she turned to me and said disgustedly, "Why are you calling so loudly?"

"What do you usually do at home?"

I nestled on the sofa with my arms around my knees, and leaned my back against her straight back. She pushed me a few times pretending to be disgusted. Seeing that I was still leaning on her back, she didn't refuse anymore, and said angrily: "What else can I do, washing clothes, cleaning, and cooking for a large family is enough for me."

"Dad said before to hire a housekeeper, why don't you want to?"

"I don't feel at ease if my home is handed over to others."

"Then what do you do when you have no housework?"

"Why are you asking so many questions, kid? Finally got the hang of it, and want to learn c.ao's way of doing housework?"

"I'm just concerned about your life." I leaned back, put my head on her shoulder, and glanced at her specially dyed black hair at the temples, the deep wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, and her habitually pursed mouth.

"Hmph, now you think about caring about your mother's old life?" She snorted very usefully, "What else can I do, like watching serials like this now, occasionally chatting with other old men and women in the community and so on. But since you forbid me to arrange a blind date for you, I have less contact with them."

The words "elderly life" hurt my eardrums, and when I thought about it carefully, my mother was indeed in her sixties.Because I am the "youngest girl" in the An family, my mother is much older than my parents of the same age, which means that I can spend less time with her. I don't know when I feel more and more guilty about this matter, He also became more sensitive to her aging appearance.

The more guilty and sensitive I was, the harder it was for me to talk to her about my liking for Xia Xiaoyou. I was afraid of her opposition, of being disappointed in me, and of her being sad.So when I realize that one day I will hurt her for my own pleasure, I feel even more ashamed.

But my mother glanced at me without noticing it, and said meaningfully: "Some of them are busy with their grandchildren, so they don't have time to contact us."

I pretended not to understand what she meant and said, "Didn't you have your grandson in your arms a long time ago? You see, An Jie has brought you up to this age."

"Yes, I have hugged my grandson, but I haven't hugged my grandson."

I didn't expect her to throw a straight ball, which made me lose my footing unpredictably.I lowered my head, peeked at her expression, and said cautiously: "What if there is no grandson?"

"The granddaughter is also fine."

"What if, I mean, if, I don't get married?"

It wasn't unexpected that I was poured blood on my head by some great truth. My mother just watched me silently, and said word by word: "Mom dare not say that every woman will get married, but Lai Ning, you will get married. You won't let me down, you have been obedient since you were a child, haven't you?"

"I..." Facing my mother's questioning, I avoided her sight without saying a word, but Xia Xiaoyou's shining eyes appeared in my mind.

"By the way, I almost forgot that there is a routine meeting for the first-year group this afternoon, so I'll leave first. I won't go home for dinner." I stood up from the small pit formed by the sofa, lowered my head and said quickly, I just want to escape from my mother's suffocating stare as soon as possible.

"Okay. But haven't you had too many meetings lately?"

No, it's just that I lied to you more and more, I thought guiltily, but explained with a serious face: "Because there are many related matters that need to be discussed after the division of subjects this semester, it should be better after a while. "

"Okay, go home as early as possible."

"Yeah." I nodded in response, and walked straight to the door. Although I felt that it was cruel to leave my mother alone at home, it was really hard for me to stay in the frozen atmosphere just now for half a second.After putting on my shoes and socks at the entrance, I greeted my mother in the living room, then opened the door and fled away.

On the way to school, the back of my mother sitting alone in the living room has always occupied my thoughts. The back is as straight as a sculpture, and the home that is too empty for her is no different from a cage.I had grown up there, but now I was plotting a grand escape that seemed to have to stake her solitude.

By the time I realized that it was time to get off the train, the subway had started again, so I had to get off at the next stop and change again before walking back to school.When I arrived at the office, Xia Xiaoyou was preparing lessons. When she saw me walking in, she only winked at me narrowly, and then continued to work hard.

There was no routine meeting this afternoon. I came to the school purely to wait for Xia Xiaoyou to finish class. The class teacher was also busy with the assignment of arts and sciences. There was not much pressure from the exam. My work these few weeks was also very easy.So I took out the notebook from the canvas bag and continued to write the half-written novel.

Some time ago, Xia Xiaoyou proposed to read my novel. Although I refused in every way, I couldn't stand her begging, so I followed her way.After reading it, she complimented me emphatically and encouraged me to post the novel on social networks.At that time, she was so flattered by her praise that I sent out the novel as soon as my brain got hot, and the response was unexpectedly good, and my uneasy mood finally settled down a little.

I opened the document and quickly reviewed the plot of the previous chapter. When I was about to start coding, I was lightly poked on the back.I turned my head and looked at Xia Xiaoyou suspiciously, she held a piece of post-it note and handed it to me with outstretched arms.

"Let's keep our relationship a secret at school until we're ready ;)"

The words on the sticky note are neatly written, but the strokes are not sharp. Many hook points are replaced by soft arcs.Just like herself, she is free and easy but has no sharp edge, and her bottom is full of softness.

"OK(●╰╯`●)ノ"

I wrote it on the back of the post-it note and passed it back to her hand. It was like returning to the middle school classroom where the classroom was full of small notes.

"It's too foul for me to use kaomoji (a typo). Hehe, the underground romance in the office has begun ╰(*︶`*)╯←(specially looking for kaomoji)"