If Affectionate Unequal [Hollywood]

She used to stare at me with a smile, her lips once kissed me, and it breaks my heart to think of it.

Chapter 55 Chapter 55

——Ithought it would be something worse.

—— worse than the total agony of being in love.

Is there anything more painful and miserable than love?

——"Love Actually"

That night, when I returned home, my face was already full of confusion.

I lay down on the bed but I had no more tears, and I didn't feel sleepy in the middle of the night.over and over in my mind

Play back the scenes of meeting her three times in a few months.

It's all dynamic, every time she comes, I rush to hug her, her expression is caught off guard, every time she leaves, I run over to hug her, she looks down at me slightly, she The way she pursed her red lips when talking to me, the way she smiled slightly, the temperature of her fingers when she touched my face...

Everything is vivid, like a high-definition close-up.

I turned on my phone, and there was a long record in the text message box.There are dozens of unread emails in the mailbox.

Just click on one: "I miss you so much, Angie, I'm watching your previous movie "Change of Suspicious Clouds", I love your performance in it..."

"I'm thinking about what you're doing right now...and I'm thinking about you."

"I weighed myself today, and I lost two catties, yeah! You are too thin, eat more."

She didn't open one.I also wishfully wanted this mailbox to be a place to record our mutual emotions.

In fact, in the past few months, she never took the initiative to say that she wanted to see me, said she wanted to see me, and never sent me a text message or called me.He never offered to hug me either.

I should have known, I should have admitted, that this was all wishful thinking on my part.

I seemed to delete those self-indulgent text messages, and with a swipe of my finger, I deleted them all right in front of me, as if countless needles were stabbing my eyes.

Can't delete.

Reluctant.

The fingers curled back, and the tears that were finally stopped flooded again.

I cried so much in front of her just now, she didn't know what it would feel like?Will it affect her?If she likes me a little bit, it should be revealed, right?

It's just that I was too devastated just now, I didn't dare to look up at her, so naturally I couldn't find her expression.But……

She stood there, motionless, and said nothing.

There was also silence on the phone.

When I got home, I watched the first part of the award presentation. When it was the turn of the Best Actor award, she was speaking on the stage, with a sweet smile and witty remarks, and there was no sign of being affected at all.

From the beginning to the end, I am infatuated, and I am also sad.She is still her, complete and complete, nothing is with me.

Tears slowly oozed from my eyes.

However, what right do I have to blame and blame her?

It's me who likes her wholeheartedly, and it's me who wants to confess to her.

She was accepting me out of sheer good intentions and kindness.I'm still so entangled, and I'm pressing every step of the way, she must be troubled.That's why I have tonight's nonsense...

I did it to myself...

I rolled over and curled up slowly.There was no light in the room, and in the darkness, sadness flooded in like a flood, drowning me.

I didn't call her again or send her a message.

The second day is the most painful, the hardest.I'm used to texting her every day, even if she didn't reply, I also developed the habit, now it seems that I'm really clingy.

If she is also interested in me, then it is a lovely request.But she is not, I am harassment of transgender.

The third day was also very painful, but I have no work arrangements recently.Nancy wanted to come to see me, but I refused.She didn't dare to provoke me, so I couldn't ask, so I had to give up.

I don't know what's going on with Angelia... At that time, I told her that she could see me anytime, and the choice was hers.

Maybe, taking advantage of this opportunity, she will really never see me again.

But I still can't bear it.

I dare not contact her even more.I'm afraid that when I make a call, she will say something like: "Ai Er, let's stop here", just thinking of this possibility, I feel like I am going to die.

Just like that, I didn't dare to contact her, and she didn't contact me, so I just endured day by day.

After knowing for the first time what a lovelorn is, my heart was so painful that the seconds felt like years.It happened that I had no job during this time, so I refused.I pretty much hid at home.Watch Netflix shows.

Fortunately, time is not lazy, day by day, my pain is blunted day by day.

Nancy complained to me how there was no street photography or event photos for more than a month.But I saw Angelia Street Shooting.twice.One time it was a single person, maybe there was some event at the United Nations, but I actually saw her holding a mobile phone in her hand.Another time was at an amusement park with her twins, and she had her phone with her too.

I didn't have time to pay attention to these details, but another thought suddenly flooded into my mind: Could it be that she didn't keep any of the text messages I sent her...

It hurts too much to think like this, and I dare not indulge myself to think about it any more.

Soon it will be my birthday.

As soon as midnight passed, I started to struggle.In the morning, there were many gifts and phone calls.At the age of 25, I am still the little princess in the hearts of my relatives and friends.

It's just... the person I'm looking forward to the most, still hasn't contacted me.

The birthday person should have a little privilege, right?I turned on my phone, and I didn't dare to contact her for more than a month. When I opened the "A" dialog box, it felt like a world away.

I still dare not.

Maybe still looking forward to the possibility of a miracle.

I even prayed to God secretly in my heart.

By the end of the night, my girlfriends and Dakota had already asked me out, saying that today was my special day and that I had to celebrate it.

special day...

I bit my lip, stunned for a while, and ran back to the room.

My heart was beating like a drum, and my chest was so tense that it hurt like suffocation.

Give me another 20 seconds of courage, no, no, 10 seconds is fine.

I want to see her, I want to see her.Let me be willful again, wishful thinking again.

I bit my lower lip fiercely, and slid open the address book with trembling fingers.

I just make one call.

Just enough for three seconds.

According to past experience, she may not receive this call, maybe I also need these three seconds to give myself up...

When the call got through, I took a deep breath, but only half a second or a second later, Angelia's voice suddenly sounded, "Ai Er..."

My breathing stopped for an instant.

Temporary loss of language skills.

She...how did she pick it up so fast...

I didn't even think about what to say...

"...Ai'er..." Her tone did not rise, it was not a questioning tone.As if she just wanted to call me, it was natural and gentle, as if I was standing right in front of her.

My heart felt as if it had been plucked out by a blunt instrument, and it was so painful.

Elle, we're not in the same position...

This sentence flashed through my mind again.

I took a deep breath, trying to speak but it was stuck in my throat.

Angelia sighed slightly over there, and her voice came through the air, and I immediately thought of the fragrance on her body.I blinked, and the tears were on the verge of welling up again.

"Ai'er..." She called me again, very slowly, her tone seemed to be a little cautious, "Is there something wrong?"

"Hmm..." I finally found my voice, I squatted down in the corner, and squeezed out the last courage in my body, "Can I meet you later?"

Even so, my voice was like a mosquito, and it was on the phone, even though I knew I was not in front of her, I kept my eyes down.

"Wait a minute..." Angelia paused, then sighed, "Sorry, I'm not in Los Angeles right now."

"Oh..." I made a sound softly.

"I'm in France now, Guerlain has an event, and... the children want to play here for a few days..." My mind was empty, and I heard her words intermittently.

"This is the scheduled itinerary..."

I was quiet, squatting in a corner with my shoulders hunched, staring at a small piece of carpet in front of me.

Is it prearranged?

So she didn't forget my birthday, but she never knew my birthday.

She really doesn't like me...

She was also quiet.

The atmosphere became awkward.I was very afraid that she would be quiet, because she was also quiet in the face of my crying after she said that to me that day.

I wiped my wet cheeks, moved my lips, and said, "Well... then..." I wanted to say that we will meet again when you are free, but in fact, I don't have the confidence to say that.

She suddenly said: "I can rush back to Los Angeles tomorrow, or later tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, can I?"