If Affectionate Unequal [Hollywood]

I am a coward.

Originally determined to confess his love, he backed down at the last moment.

What a coward I am, dare not take responsibility for my own mind.

I also want to fall in love.

To be precise, he wanted to fall in love with her.

I want to be stared at by her tender eyes.

Want to hold her hand, want to kiss her.

If I can fall in love with her and be pampered by her, I must be very happy, thinking about it makes my cheeks warm.

After the Blu-ray of "Total Eclipse of Heart" came out, I bought the collection, which contained a lot of footage of our filming NG, but I didn't think it was enough, so I went to find Tom Ford.

"The director's cut version is in there. What more do you want..." Tom raised his eyebrows and smiled meaningfully.As if my mind had been read through, I blushed and whispered, "Are there...more tidbits?"

Tom laughed loudly: "...hahahaha... yes, but it's my private collection, no one will give it to me!"

"..." My face was flushed, "Give me a copy, I promise not to spread it."

I've been grinding him for a long time, and finally it's about to arrive.I put it in the notebook, and I didn't look at it right away, just like liking her thoughts, I kept it and hid it until one day I felt that I couldn't hide it anymore, so I opened it.

The tidbits hidden in it, most of the tidbits of our intimacy scene are preserved, although there are no particularly revealing scenes, but there are many touching and kissing movements.

Angelia stared at me clearly differently.

The movements of her kissing me, stroking my earlobe, and caressing my body, she is obviously involved in it regardless of the camera.

Cameras capture everything.

Unless she has been acting, but during such a long shooting, we called each other's names several times in the middle, is she really in the scene all the time?

I admit that I am giving myself confidence, I have never confessed to others, I have always been the object of pursuit.

So I have no experience, especially if I want to confess to her, I have no chance of winning.

I 100% get rejected 99% of the time.

That's the worst part, and that's why I was afraid to go up the night of the Oscars.

If it is [-]% rejected, I will stop thinking about it.

It's just the slightest possibility that keeps me awake at night, but I can't find a better opportunity than that night.

No one knew what was going on in my mind. Dakota thought I was not in good shape. She said that actors always have ups and downs, and she told me to just relax and talk about a relationship.I can't tell the pain.

Nancy might have guessed something, but she wouldn't tell me at all.

So for most of the year after the Oscars, I was basically in a lazy state, watching old movies at home most of the time, and rarely going out.

It wasn't until I went to the Toronto Film Festival that I managed to regain my energy. After the film interviews and promotions were done, Nancy asked me if I wanted to go and play.

I come to Toronto very often, almost once a year in recent years.I lost interest, "No, it's not the first time I've come here."

Nancy teased me, "Why can't I keep my energy up lately?"

I'm tired of not wanting to answer.

Nancy rolled her eyes, "Why don't you go and have a relationship."

I pouted, and didn't want to answer this question, so I just lay down on the sofa.

Nancy sighed, "I don't know if I should tell you..."

"Angelia is coming to Toronto too..."

I immediately turned over and sat down, "Huh?"

"Well... She has a producer's work, which originally conflicted with her schedule, and suddenly came over again..."

My heart beat faster instantly, and blood rushed to my face.

she here?it's here……

"Which hotel is she...in?"

Nancy said the name, and I stood up in a daze, then sat down again.

When I came back to my senses, I had already run downstairs to the hall.

There was a reporter at the main entrance of the hotel, so I went around to the back door, thought for a while, and ran back to the room, took a peaked cap to cover half of my face, and curled my hair inside.

"You..." Nancy just said half a word, and I disappeared from her eyes again.

I checked the route first and ran out from the back door of the hotel, all the way to the hotel where Angelia lived.

In the past six months, my love for her has been like a dormant volcano, sinking in my heart and buried in my body, reminding me of its existence every moment.

I can no longer be cowardly and run away like last time.

Even just once, even if I know it won't work.I'm going to try it too.

I think of a movie I acted in, there is a line in it, you only need to muster up the courage for 20 seconds, maybe there will be a different ending.

"20 seconds, 20 seconds, give me 20 seconds of courage."

I rushed to the floor surrounded by her.

Just don't know which one she lives in.

As usual, she should wrap up a layer, and the bodyguard and her children will live together.I was pulling out my phone when someone from her bodyguard team came over.

"Hello...I..." Before I could speak, the other party held my arms.

The other party was a 1.9-meter tall man. When he clasped my arm with both hands, I felt that my hand was about to break, and cold sweat dripped down immediately, "I, I'm looking for Angie...uh..." I hummed in pain.

The man saw my face clearly, let go of his hand, and my phone dropped with a snap.

He picked it up for me, and when I reluctantly took it, I finally heard a familiar voice, "What's wrong?"

Angelia came out at this moment, she was startled when she saw me, "Ai'er?"

A minute later, when I was in her room, she frowned slightly and glanced at my arm.

There were bruises from fingerprints on each of my two arms, which looked quite frightening, but I didn't feel any pain at the moment, and I swallowed nervously.

For a moment, my mind went blank, I just looked at her face in a daze.

"Why are you here suddenly, what's the matter?" Angelia's eyes moved from my arms to my cheeks, looking into my eyes.

Her tone wasn't distant, but she didn't seem very enthusiastic.

I felt a sense of panic in my heart suddenly stepping on the ground, so I calmed down and said "20 seconds" silently.

I have never taken the initiative to confess my love to anyone, and I have always been in the position of being pursued.

What should I say before confessing to someone?

I don't have any drafts at all!

Now that I'm here, I can't give up halfway.

20 seconds of courage, say it first.

My heart broke, and I said directly, "I like you, I love you!"

My heart was hot, my cheeks were hot, and my eyes were focused on Angelia's face.

Seeing her eyes widen suddenly, she blinked twice in a row, her lips parted slightly, and she looked at me in shock.

As soon as I said it, it seemed like a switch was turned on, and I put what I wanted in my heart into words, "I have liked you for a long time..."

Such blunt words made me lower my eyes shyly, then raised them to stare at her, "I know you may not like me... I just want you to know my feelings, I can't bear you, I can't stand not seeing you... "

Angie stood there staring at me, his eyes flickering like a glint, his expression complicated and difficult to interpret.

My heart suddenly ached, I took a deep breath, and had more courage, "Can you give me a chance... I want to spend more time with you..."

"I'm not asking you to... fall in love with me, but I want to see you, see you every once in a while, you don't have to have any burdens, you can say you can't see me at any time... end at any time..."

Angelia remained silent the whole time. Her eyes were deep and she looked at me steadily. The initial shock seemed to have passed away, and now it merged into an unpredictable light.

The more I spoke, the more uncertain I became, and the more I spoke, the quieter I became.

Just stopped.

I've said it all.

This is what I really think in my heart.

I also looked at her, not wanting to miss all her reactions, every inch of her expression.

I have never been a timid person, and my profession requires expressiveness, but at this time, my palms were sweating and my back was sweating.

I was a little nervous, but there was an indescribable joy in my heart.

I took responsibility for my feelings.

I told her I liked her.

I was ready to be rejected by her.

It's her I like, it's Angelia.

I had to have the courage to be rejected by her.

My eyes cherished and slowly flicked across her eyebrows and landed on her lips.

Maybe from here will say the words I have heard.

What thank you, you are still young, sorry or something like that.

These are the words that make me sad.

But that's okay.

I am prepared.

This is the process I had to go through.

Years later, when I think back to this moment, I can't help but marvel at my courage and guts.