Breaking the cocoon gl+ Fanwai

Later, I was going to study abroad, and I wanted to break up with him.He was in so much pain that he came to look for me downstairs in the dormitory every night, but he stopped looking for me and began to prepare for the IELTS test, saying that he wanted to go abroad with me.I gradually began to get tired of this relationship, I don't like boys who are entangled.I hope he will be more lenient, or I should be cruel and dump him.After all, I really can't fall in love with him emotionally in the past few years. I think it's better to let him go.

He finally couldn't get over the reality, his family was not that good, and he didn't plan to go abroad at first.So, we broke up anyway and I went abroad.

(two)

Over the years in foreign countries, I gradually realized the hardships of life and the cruelty of society. My family was not rich. Studying abroad was my ideal since I was a child.In order to reduce the burden on my family, in addition to completing my studies, I have to work two jobs every day, tallying goods in the supermarket and washing dishes in the restaurant.Enduring discrimination against yellow people by white people, I gradually discovered that studying abroad is not such a wonderful thing, and it is far more difficult than I thought.I work so hard every day to maintain my life, and I no longer have the leisure to find someone to fall in love with.

I gritted my teeth and went through the two and a half years of studying abroad. After returning to China, I started my own business smoothly.I was so busy with work that I basically forgot my ideal of beautiful love, so that my parents were anxious and planned to find someone for me.

After that, I got to know Zhang Yucheng, the son of my father's old comrade-in-arms, a typical young talent, and a gold-collar family with an annual income of over one million.He has a house and a car and is very classy, ​​the kind of tall, rich and handsome that thousands of girls love most.His appearance fully meets my standards for an ideal man. He is tall, handsome, and has a refined temperament, but he is not feminine, but very masculine.He was very polite, not vulgar at all, spoke elegantly, and played the piano.I feel like I almost fell in love with him at first sight, goodbye, I just feel that the ideal love is coming.

He has a lot of views on economics, and we often chat and are quite congenial.I think I have fallen in love with him, and I thank my parents for finding the right man for me. Meeting him is the greatest luck in my life.

Looking back later, I was probably overwhelmed by emotions during that time, so obvious details and details that need to be guarded were ignored by me, so that in the end, I sent myself to hell with my own hands.

I really don't want to recall the time after I married him.During those three years of excruciating pain, I was thrown into hell and tortured for life. I was haunted by loneliness, illness, deceit, violence, and the scariest and ugliest things in the world. I couldn’t even remember what I used to be like. .

I was told that I was sick.Of course I knew I was sick, I was sick and I didn't even think I had a few years to live.I feel that I am living in the world of lies, and the faces of everyone around me are extremely ugly. They play with me, deceive me, and impose violence on me. I am powerless to resist and can only sink.Sometimes, I'm so angry, so angry that I want to kill, manically destroying everything in front of my eyes.Sometimes I am so sad that I curl myself up in a ball and isolate myself from the world.I can no longer control my emotions, hallucinations often visit me, there are always those ugly people in front of my eyes, I don’t want to see them, their voices surround my ears, choking me, I can only repeat it Do something to distract myself, or I'm going crazy.

I began to suffer from insomnia all night, lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, and sometimes I felt the ceiling twisting, twisting into a weird, I can't describe the face, it scared me, I felt the night Someone among them was peeping at me, making a weird chuckle, planning how to torture me next.I shivered under the quilt, but I couldn't get rid of such terrible thoughts from my mind.After giving birth to a child, the nightmare became even worse. The child's crying sound was like a magic sound, which was amplified infinitely in my mind and circulated back and forth. I always couldn't help but want to strangle the child to death. Sometimes I even thought viciously, That child is the most failed work in my life. Her existence is a cancer attached to my life path, which proves the fact that I fell into hell. She is the product of lies and rape.

What to do, what to do, how can I be free? I can only die, there is no other way for me to go except this way.I don't have the courage to kill people. I can only end my own life, which can be regarded as liberating my soul, helping myself to get out of the sea of ​​suffering, and no longer being tortured.

So I tried to cut my wrist, the first time, should I say I was inexperienced? In short, it was unsuccessful. When I woke up from the hospital, I only felt that my soul was a little lighter.Nice, works great, looks like I'll have to try a second time.

But before that, I have to shake off the worldly things that entangle me.Such as work, such as relatives, they are too cumbersome, I don't want to carry them to heaven.Oh, will I go to heaven? But I think that after I die, if I go to hell, it should be no worse than it is now.

So I went to the company to resign, and then I found a familiar building administrator, and used the excuse that the company planned to hold an event on the rooftop to cheat me into getting the key.That night I stood on the edge of the building, and one more step would be the gap between life and death. I thought I had made up my mind, and there was nothing terrible about it. Instead, I felt a sense of relief.