Mature Age + Spoiler

Finally, one day, I summoned up all my courage to change the status quo. I don’t want to continue to despair with sadness, don’t expect and don’t despair, I can live a better and more exciting life, and I hope all this can make her See.

Maybe one day I will reappear in front of her, and she will be surprised, as if meeting another Li Xiyu.

I was thrilled by this ethereal idea.

It is not so easy to break free. Human beings have inertia and are swayed by inertia, just like a train walking on the rails. They think that walking forward is freedom, and they are happy because of ignorance.

I left the reality, and with the understanding of my family, I decided to study abroad.

My sister disagreed with my idea. Firstly, I have always been used to a comfortable life. The unfamiliar environment means challenges. I lack the foundation, and going out means suffering.The second is to consider from her point of view. Going abroad is not a panacea. If you want to seek good things, you can learn things in China, not to mention being closer to home to have a care.

I know that she is good for me. In her eyes, I am a sensitive and weird sister. She said that if I lock the door, if anyone comes in, I will not be able to get out. How can a person like me adapt to the outside world.

I think the farther away from Qiao Xinshi, the better. I cut off all my back roads, and only left myself with one direction, which is the front.

I don’t know English, so I went to learn it. I didn’t realize how bad my English was until I graduated from university. I thought I could just learn the things in the textbook. In reality, I couldn’t understand what others said. Obviously I listened to those words Understandable, but the combination is so strange.

"Why do you have to force yourself? Others have no choice but to go this way, but you are not them." My sister said to me.

I also have no way out. Since I resigned, I have already cut off my own way out.

I often think of Qiao Xinshi, her expression when she smiles, her posture of turning the pen, including her habitual movements. Even after spending many years abroad, the memory is still as clear as ever.

I want to be someone worthy of her, and if not, I want to turn myself into her.

Before going abroad, I went back to look at her again, she wished me a bright future, I wish her happiness, but unfortunately she doesn't know the purpose of my struggle, if I can stay with her, I think I will be satisfied and want to die, willing to do The slacker beside her who is too happy to stop.

All the procedures for going abroad have been completed, and a host family has been found for me. Although my father doesn't love me, he will try his best to do what he can with the money.

That day he sent me to the airport and explained a few words, if I have a bad time outside, don’t hold on stubbornly and come back at any time.

He saw that I couldn't do it, so I showed him as soon as I could. With my waist supported, I pulled the box and walked into the ticket gate.

A person will not know where his limit is unless he pushes himself to a dead end. Similarly, a woman will not know that she can go further if she does not move forward.

In a foreign country, I was like a newborn baby, ignorant and helpless.It was at that moment that I removed the pillars behind me and stood up on my own feet.

I learned to take care of myself, and to be friends with strangers, where I was a blank sheet of paper and allowed myself to smear, I used her as a template to demand myself, I let myself not be afraid, not cowardly, brave, independent, decisive... …

I want to thank her, thank her for letting me love, thank her for fulfilling my love alone, thank her for being my belief, and making me fearless.

I didn't contact her, just sent her a postcard unilaterally. What I wrote on paper was the result of careful consideration. I didn't ask her to see what I said. When I sent every letter, I felt that I be happy.

The winter here is very cold, countless times colder than the city where I stayed for more than [-] years. The heavy snow will cover every inch of the land, drowning all the colors, until the whole world is left with the color of white.

Winter is long, and I always have a lot to say at that time.

I wrapped a heavy scarf and blocked every gap, leaving only my eyes, then opened the door of my house and ran to the small post office a few kilometers away to post the letter through knee-high snow.

The postman here does not come to receive letters every day. When he is happy, he can go back and forth several times a day, appearing from time to time like a moving playground, and when he is unhappy, he will hide for a few days without seeing anyone.And he is the only postman here, and maybe there will be no such post after him. People nowadays lack the patience to write letters, and his existence is just a habit of everyone.

I was afraid that he would never come again, and I was afraid that the stack of postcards in my hand would not be mailed, so I ran to the post office to post them, opened the wooden door, and walked into the warm room, the snow on my body suddenly melted into water.

I ran home from posting the postcards and almost stepped on the package at the door, almost drowning it in the snow.

When Qiao Xin was written on the sender column, it was her handwriting, and no one could imitate it.

After not believing it, I was excited. I didn't care to pick up the scarf on the ground and ran into the house. I ran back to the room to unpack the package. What Qiao Xinshi sent me were photos from previous company activities. Some of them were aimed at me and her. , except for some people nearby, these photos look like our group photos.

The others are all gifts from her. She said that every time she buys a gift, she will buy an extra one. When she sees something that suits me, she will buy it unconsciously. Even she herself wonders when she will develop a bad habit, maybe it is The postcards I kept flying over the years reminded her of my existence, and she said she still remembered me and was so impressed.