Siheyuan: A Cook in the 60s

I admit.

At that moment, my mind was full of complicated thoughts.

It's a little sweet, but also full of worries.

What kind of good person would give a woman a sachet?

If he admitted it, the rumor would definitely be flying everywhere tomorrow.

My life is not easy, and his life will be even harder.

But, for my sake, he was willing to admit...

Just when I was feeling complicated.

Someone who was unexpected to me showed up.

It’s her, Lou Xiaoe.

She also calls me sister.

At first I didn't know what that meant. Everyone knew I was older than she was.

But when she took out the sachet.

I understood instantly.

I'm not stupid either.

I immediately understood what Lou Xiao'e meant.

younger sister?

In other words, he has already taken down Lou Xiaoe?

But why does he still come to provoke me?

I do not understand.

In the countryside, this kind of thing happens a lot.

But those are just food transactions. If you don’t want to starve to death, you have to do this.

He is different.

He is so gentle.

Thinking of me everywhere.

Is everything fake?

Is this the way city people do things?

I don't understand. I don't understand him, and I don't understand myself.

I don't understand why he did that.

I don't understand myself. I clearly told myself that there is no possibility for him and me. We are just ordinary neighbors, but at the end of the day, I still can't stop feeling depressed.

I am in a bad mood.

It was so bad that even my mother could see it, and she thought I was blaming her.

Said many good things to me.

Actually, I don’t care. It doesn’t matter whether I blame you or not.

At that moment, I felt like I was pretty ridiculous.

I feel inexplicably absent-minded at work.

The master asked me to go back and rest, saying that it would be very dangerous to work without getting enough rest.

I was thinking at that time, could I go out for a walk?

I was shocked by my own thought, and then I smiled helplessly.

It's funny to say, but the one thing he told me when he showed up was to be nicer to myself.

Yes, in the past, I would never think about taking a break or going out for a walk. When I was a child, my life was all about cooking and doing housework. When I grew up and married to a man in the city, I still cooked and did housework. Oh, there were two more things to do: being scolded by my mother and taking care of children...

Thinking about it now, those days really didn’t seem like something a human could do.

But why?

I couldn’t figure it out. The more I couldn’t figure it out, the more I thought about it. The more I thought about it, the more painful it became.

Until we arrived at Shichahai.

Everyone talks about Shichahai, but I have never been there. I only heard about it from Jia Dongxu, who said he would take me there when he was free. But I have never been there.

There is nothing interesting here, just bare land and a lake.

It makes people feel inexplicably depressed.

Before I knew it, I was being watched.

I was so scared, I didn't know what to do.

There are a lot of gangsters like this.

I also heard a lot. Normally, I never walk outside alone. Today, there are not many people around. What should I do? I am very scared.

In my moment of despair, he appeared.

My emotions seemed to have found a vent, and all the grievances I had suffered over the years seemed to have found an outlet, and they were all vented out at this moment.

I cried.

He reached out his hand and wiped my tears.

Tell me he loves me.

I know I probably can't refuse him.

I don't want to reject him either.

Whatever...

So be it……

I love him……

After the passion, comes anxiety.

I am afraid.

There are many things to be afraid of.

Have everything.

What should I do if one day he tells me that he wants to marry me.

Well, this is delusion, this is what Lou Xiaoe said when she secretly read my memoirs. She said how could that bitch think of marrying me.

I don’t like the name “bitch”, I love him, he is my lover.

But I have to admit that this is indeed a delusion and he will never marry me.

What I’m really worried about is whether I will still have a place if he really gets married.

Also, what would happen if my mom found out about what happened between him and me?

Since I followed him, I have been thinking about more and more things. I know that if he gets married and I stay with him, it won't matter. Mom won't care. But if he doesn't get married, Mom will make a fuss and make everyone lose face.

But now that he has a wife, can he still be with me?

I thought a lot and I didn't want to leave him.

So, I thought of someone, my cousin who really wanted to marry and move to the city.

Even though this seems a bit unfair to him, but I have already given my lover away! What else can I do?

The rest of the matter will be left to him! He swore to me that he would not give up on us, so let him show his attitude.

When my cousin heard that she could marry into the city, she ran over quickly.

My cousin is also pretty, just a little bit less pretty than me. At least that’s what I think.

Lou Xiao'e was right, he was really good at coaxing girls, and my cousin came over, and he coaxed her into settling down in just half a day. To my surprise, he directly told my cousin about Lou Xiao'e and me.

He didn't seem to be afraid at all that his cousin would run away.

He was right, his cousin did not run away and even agreed to marry him.

Hey……

I am a little envious of my cousin.

But, that's fine, it's fine this way.

I love him.

He is a good lover.

He didn't completely ignore me just because he got me.

He always cares about me and is afraid that I don’t have enough to eat or sleep well.

He told me that one must find one's own position in order to live a happy life. What is my position? I don't know.

He said, if you don't know, just try to be your own master. For example, if you raise the level of fitter to a higher level, maybe, I will see a different world?

Whatever he said, I wanted to try it.

After I tried it, I found that the world was really different.

To be honest, few people looked up to me before. At least, in their eyes, I was a weak person.

It was not appropriate for me to be a trainee but receive the salary of a first-level worker. When I was promoted to a first-level worker, I heard less and less of this kind of voice. When I was promoted to a second-level worker, I understood what he meant.

I feel like there is nothing in this world that can be difficult for me.

Because after paying for the monthly expenses, there is still a lot left, and even enough to have a meal every now and then. When something happens, I don't panic. I know I can afford it.

He told me that most ordinary people in this world are like this, and only when they can take responsibility can they be considered qualified people.

If someone cannot take responsibility and is in constant fear, he is probably not a human being.

I felt like he was talking about my past self, but I thought it was true.