HP: Embrace the Darkness

"It's like this again, you know that I can't bear it."

Aces seemed to find it funny and laughed softly. The self-deprecating laughter moved his chest and spread all the way to his back and shoulder blades.

He was laughing so hard that his whole body was shaking.

Snape's heart was sour and astringent, and all kinds of emotions were mixed together to form the bitterest potion, which was poured onto his straight back.

He was in so much pain that he couldn't help but bend down and grasp Ass's nightgown. His knuckles and face were ashen, and he explained palely, "That's not what I meant."

"We all know it, right?"

Aces pinched the vigorously beating blood vessels on his wrist bones and tried his best to control his temper, but his words inevitably sounded a little cold.

"I don't want to make my words too clear, Sev. You know very well what you are taking advantage of. I can't calm down to talk to you about these issues for the time being."

His indifferent tone was completely different from the past, and he was indeed angry.

Snape cruelly presented the truth to himself.

Also, he took advantage of Artes' love for him and made endless concessions to him first. Why did he think that Artes would not be angry?

After all, he couldn't bear to be angry even once after being indulged for so long.

Snape numbly pulled his lips, trying to answer Artes' words in a calmer voice, such as saying good night, apologizing or something.

But I couldn't tell it at all.

It was also at this time that he understood why Ass had been silent for so long before this.

It turned out that the pain was so extreme that I couldn't speak at all, and even making a sound was a luxury.

Snape gritted his teeth and squeezed out a shapeless "Okay" from between his teeth.

Aces froze imperceptibly for a moment.

The air was quiet again.

There is a bed, two people, only a short distance of less than ten centimeters between them, but it is like a chasm, unable to touch or hold them.

Snape faced Artes, not closing his eyes even though he couldn't see anything. He felt that the darkness in front of him was thicker than every sleepless night before, like teeth and claws trying to drag him down into the abyss.

But his lover was obviously there, and he pushed him away with his own hands.

"Aces."

Snape silently recited Artes's name, secretly hoping that he would turn back. The long night was lonely, and he could no longer adapt to the night without warmth.

As if hearing his voice, Asseth, who had been motionless, suddenly started to move.

Snape's heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and his dark eyes, which were more candid than usual in the darkness, showed a hint of joy. He was almost expecting a hug.

But the rustling sound rang for a while, and the weight around him suddenly disappeared.

A soft mattress faithfully reflects its feelings onto the other person on the bed.

Aces got out of bed.

Snape's mind exploded, and what he just said kept flashing through his mind - leave if you can't stand it.

So this is leaving?

The sudden turn of events shattered Snape's silence and persistence, and he subconsciously wanted to open his mouth to persuade him to stay. However, when the words came to his lips, he once again remembered what he had just said - he would not stop him.

Does he have the qualifications and reasons to retain him?

A big hole was suddenly punched out in his heart. The cold wind poured in from the outside and flowed along the blood vessels. It didn't take long for his internal organs and limbs to freeze.

so cold.

Snape pulled the quilt and wrapped it around himself, the bone-deep chill still seeping out from the bottom of his heart.

Artes was right, everything he said was because he knew very well that Artes would not leave him or give up on him, so he stabbed Artes in the heart with knife after knife without restraint.

Irene was also right, he didn't know how to love and couldn't love anyone at all.

Unlike the sound he made, which attracted Ass's attention, he stood still and hesitated for a while, but still did not use his magic power to see what was happening in the darkness.

"Sev? Are you still awake?"

With the words, the newly burned hope was revived.

Snape grabbed his feet and ran through various answers in his mind, but he still couldn't come up with an answer.

He needed an explanation that would make Ass willing to stay without talking about retention.

What kind of statement can do this?

He thought intensively and simulated almost every possibility.

Unexpectedly, the Potions Master was so absorbed in thinking that he lost track of time. After waiting for a few seconds and not hearing an answer, Asseth thought he had heard wrongly and turned around to leave.

Snape listened to the footsteps getting further and further away. He ignored his fruitless thinking and hurriedly sat up and picked out an unmistakable answer, "No."

Aces stopped at the door, seemingly surprised, and did not answer for a moment.

A long silence fell between the two.

Snape pursed his lips helplessly, wanting to break the damn silence but not knowing what to say.

He had never been one to lighten the mood, and Asseth was not going to let such a long silence pass between them.

"Where are you going?"

Finally, he asked dryly.

Artes rubbed his brows and patiently answered Snape's question: "If you can't sleep, go for a walk."

Can't sleep, go for a walk?

Snape began to think about what Arthur would say and do if he were in his shoes.

But in the end he found that this problem would not arise with Asseth, because Asses would not let the situation develop to this extent.

Without a reference, Snape could only act on his own, "Shall I accompany you?"

Aces remained silent.

Such an attitude itself counts as rejection.

Snape naturally knew it very well. He tried hard to suppress the bitterness in his heart and took the initiative to change his words, "Then I'll wait for you."

This is already a sentence of retention.

He waited nervously for Aces' answer.

Aces glanced at the current time and thought that Snape had classes tomorrow morning, so he refused: "You have classes tomorrow, so don't wait for me, just go to bed first."

Hearing the change in the words, and fearing that Artes would refuse, Snape said very quickly: "It doesn't matter."

This time, no matter how out of shape Artes was, he could tell that something was wrong with Snape's words.

"You...forget it."

Aces tore off his coat irritably.

never mind? Forget it? What's the meaning?

Snape's breath was stagnant, and he stared at Artes behind the door through the light without blinking.

Aces hung the torn off coat back on the coat rack, "Go to sleep, you have to go to class tomorrow."

Snape's hanging heart quietly fell to the ground, and he felt a piece sinking down beside him. He imitated Artes and fell asleep, and tentatively grabbed Artes' hand.

"Why are your hands so cold?" Asseth grabbed the cold hands together, "Are you cold?"

Cold, very cold.

The joy of surviving a desperate situation impacted Snape's sanity, and he approached Artes uncontrollably.

"It's not cold now."

Aces understood, "Are you worried about me leaving just now? Do you think I can't bear it, so you want to leave?"

"……Yes."