Fall in love with your enemy

Following the last episode, in addition to cutting off the blood ties, I completely severed my relationship with my eldest brother and became my second uncle’s daughter.

I don’t know how I wandered back to my small courtyard. I just remember that before finally entering the door, I looked back at the full moon in the sky.

The full moon of the 16th is the most prosperous time. From now on, it will gradually lose its balance. I can’t see clearly whether my future path will reach this point. However, I can only take one step at a time.

Today's things are not over yet. I braced myself and held my knees and sat down at a pavilion in the courtyard, waiting quietly. I just made a call not long ago. Feng Shizhi said that he was responsible for transporting Cheng Ling's mother and son's car. It's almost here. Before the adoption ceremony the day after tomorrow, I have to solve as many chores as possible left by my eldest son, and this child is one of the most important ones.

I thought that Chengcheng would be relaxed or sad because of my leaving, depending on his fear and dependence on me, but I didn't expect that he would rush to the pavilion panting and stand there blankly for a while, but the angle would shift to A "weird" direction.

"Fu Xishi, sister, will my presence make it impossible for you to gain a foothold in the long house?" Chengcheng's voice was choked with disbelief.

The corners of my eyes suddenly became sore. I took a deep breath and focused on the tea in my hand. I poured the hot water back and forth between the two cups without looking up at him.

"We are not on the same line." I paused and said, "Chengcheng, I may be a little confused, just take it as a joke. I treat you as my younger brother now, and I will consider everything for you, but You have to know that while I love you, I also hate you. I hate your origin. I hate that you have the blood of my mother-killing enemy in your body. I hate that your existence has taken away half of the love that the old man has for me. Maybe. From your perspective, you didn’t get Lao Fu’s love, but I did lose it. The reason why I can still stay awake and put love over hate is because there is no big rift between us. Under the protection of Lao Fu, we have not yet reached reality, but now that he is gone, I have no way to guarantee that I will always love you more than I hate you. My leaving is more because I am afraid that I will hurt you if I can’t control myself. You, so only by separating reality can we avoid future troubles forever."

"But I'm not afraid of you hurting me..." Chengcheng choked with sobs before she could finish her words, and she seemed to be ashamed and angry. She turned away and wiped them clean in anger, "I just want us to be closer, I'd rather I don’t want to be seen by others or you as the person who makes it impossible for you to survive!”

"That's because you still like me, whether it's from family affection or your own love." I raised my head.

When we talked about "love", our eyes met. Both of us are sinful things. I couldn't face it calmly and immediately lowered my head, but the truth remained the same.

"People have no choice but to live their whole lives relying only on temporary liking. Whether it is the seventeen years in your last life or the six years in this life, it is not a lifetime, Chengcheng, a life is very long. I believe you are true. You like me, and I believe that even if you force yourself and rely on guilt for the rest of your life, you will make me live a more prosperous life than the head of the family, but have you ever thought that it is a sin for us to be together..."

Chengcheng's ears and cheeks were both red with the fire in his heart. He paused for a long time before saying: "Sister, I'm sorry, I won't think about it the way I did before. I really would rather I didn't know about the relationship between us from beginning to end. The relationship between..."

"But it's not only an emotional issue about ethics between us, it's a misunderstanding. The lack of explanation for so many years will lead to mistakes. Just correct it. This is not the most important thing. The most terrifying thing is that we really have no way to ignore what's behind us. The house is devastated. Chengcheng, I only want to ask you one question. Can you give me the best answer? You know that I bowed to the second wife in Hongtang today. I believe that other things will not be left behind. Just say, if ten Five years later, Lu Yinyin was released from prison. She was alone and had no way out. She came to you pitifully. What should you do? Honor her, but she killed my mother and abandoned her, but she is your mother. "

Chengcheng fell silent, lowered his head, unable to calm down for a long time.

I took a deep breath: "So I decided to leave. You have no way to leave. Letting you go is no different from forcing you to die. But at least I still have a way to survive. Even if it may be dangerous, at least I still have a chance." , but you didn’t, and after I leave, whatever you want to do or fulfill your responsibilities has nothing to do with me.”

Everyone in this world, as long as they grew up Zhengzheng, has the ability to judge right from wrong, and Chengcheng is the same, but not everyone can distinguish between justice and personal feelings.

"Two people who are not in a straight line are either parallel and will never intersect, or they intersect, but they only have one chance to intersect in a lifetime. They will eventually go further and further apart. Your love for me is only for a long time." You can rely on me on one point. There are few people in your environment who can consider you from your perspective. But Chengcheng, I take care of you only because I am naturally soft-hearted. I only teach my little brother It’s about how I love people and nothing else.”

"I don't believe that your feelings for me are just because you are soft-hearted." Chengcheng finally straightened up after a long while, walked to stand in front of me, and looked directly at me.

"We have come to this point, is there any point in worrying about these issues?" I lowered my head and smiled. In fact, I didn't dare to look at him at all.

Chengcheng may want to get comfort or a decisive answer from me, but the unequal feelings we have now are definitely wrong, and being direct is also wrong. But if it continues to be ambiguous like this, is it the right choice? I don't think so, but how should I tell him...

I really don’t understand why Chengcheng likes me. What is there in me that deserves his love? With his paranoid character, I’m always afraid that he will never forget it.

"For me, my world is just you now, so the answer makes sense to me."

Chengcheng pulled me up, asked me to look at his face and spoke word by word, then pulled me into his arms and held me tightly.

"Fu Xishi, I never dared to tell you these things before. I know you have someone you like, whether it's Lin Mo Du or Gao Xin Ci. They are all salvation for you. No matter how good I am to you, I Being born can only be a disaster, and I can't occupy any position. Who would have thought that this world could be more cruel. It has been twenty-three years, I have loved you for twenty-three years, and I have only lived a few years in total, but God told me I and you are my biological sister, and my existence has made your supposedly happy life a mess."

"I want to end my life to repent, but in this situation, you need me again. I want an answer, but I don't want to put pressure on you. Let me make it clear to you in advance. I have figured it out and I will take care of myself." Living, I got this today, just to make my past have no regrets, just like when I failed the college entrance examination in my previous life, I kept thinking about trivial matters in a daze, and I couldn't solve the last big question in time, but at the last minute , I still filled the whole gap with graffiti.”

"Then you come back and scare people by saying that you studied cartoons for the college entrance examination..." I couldn't help laughing, but after laughing, I felt sad about my previous life.

All of us were wrong and lost.

"So, the answer may not necessarily be clear language." Chengcheng whispered in his ear.

I understood what he meant, so I hugged his body tightly as well.

If we are not in a straight line, how can I keep you?

Shrink us, we are already small in the vast world.

Enlarge the point of intersection and present all the dependence and attachment to you in the life of a small person.

Fifteen years is a short time, but for our lives, fifteen years is already a long time.

I want to tell you that in my heart, you are so important and so precious.

I want you to know that I am willing to do anything for you and will be there whenever you need me.

I don't know what our future holds, maybe we will never get together, maybe we will eventually drift apart.

However, I am willing to love you infinitely in the limited time. While we still have time, I will do my best to love you, protect you, and keep you in my life as a dazzling fragment.

Because you are an important person in my life and a part of me that I can't let go of.

I comforted Chengcheng for a while. Maybe what I said to him from beginning to end was half true and false, but the matter was at this point, and I accepted my fate. In the current situation, we didn’t have time to think more about the topic of love. The disaster was blocked. In front of.

I had other arrangements for tonight, so while waiting, I also asked Chengcheng some questions that I didn't know.

"Cheng Ling will come with her child later." I said tentatively.

Chengcheng was stunned for a moment before he understood. He chuckled and nodded: "Yes, I know. I just met Feng Shizhi on the road and he told me about it." Chengcheng paused and then said: "Cheng Ling plans to leave the child to us to raise, what do you think?"

"No mother works hard to give birth to a child and then immediately gives it away to others. She knows she can't support her anymore and wants us to help her child survive." I snorted coldly.

"That's true. If he stays in her hands, we may not feel sympathy for this child, but if he is raised in our own hands, no one will let him go."

"So you're planning to take action?"

After Chengcheng said that, I immediately leaned over and glanced at him with a smile. I broke through the panic in his eyes and suppressed a smile. When I put the teacup back on the table, a little tea leaked on my hand.

"I don't like children." Chengcheng thought for a moment before saying, "But I didn't intend to be so cruel."

"Don't like children? Why do I remember that you took An'an as if you were your own child in your last life?" I pursed my lips with "contempt". When this topic was mentioned, many things in my heart disappeared like ink, and I couldn't help but sigh. : "By the way, I never asked you. After my accident... how was An An?"

"After crying for a few months, I gradually got used to it. I originally thought that he was still young and could not remember so many things, but then, it seemed that he had grown up overnight. A child of eight or nine years old has matured. It's so scary, either reading a book or practicing calligraphy, or suddenly staring at a place in a daze..." Chengcheng lowered his head and almost didn't dare to look at me.

When I heard this, as a mother, I felt the same pain as a thousand arrows piercing my heart.

I still remember that when I was pregnant with An An, I was desperate. I thought that I could not be a happy child. Being a parent should be to compensate for myself when I was a child. It is a pity that my mother tried her best to give An An the best life when she was alive, but my mother did not There is no guarantee that I will live for a long time.

"What about Gao Xinci?" I asked again.

Chengcheng suddenly smiled, and it was both funny and bitter: "It's even harder to say for him. He didn't grow up, he grew old overnight. He numbed himself with excessive work, didn't go home, and just stayed in the company day and night. Aunt Gao was almost dying of anxiety about the project she was dealing with. She tried every means to no avail. Within two days, she fell ill and was in bed. An An went back to our house to live for a while, and later she resigned from the company and lived with Gao Xin. I only went there occasionally. Look at him."

"You didn't find another baby mother for An An?" I smiled bitterly.

"Him? Forget it, I didn't do it in those years, and I probably won't do it in the future." Chengcheng smiled playfully, and squeezed the palm of my hand as if to comfort me.

"Come on, let's not talk about this!" I raised my head and held back the tears, and returned my attention to the "child". Looking at the position, Cheng Ling had already arrived at the gate, "This name just clicked for me. I couldn’t even think of it for a while, what was the name of the little old man in his last life? It was the old man’s name, so it’s a good idea to stick with it.”

Chengcheng came back to his senses, thought for a while and said, "Shu Cong, Fu Shu Cong."

"Which word?" I was stunned for a long time. I dipped my pen in ink but couldn't figure out where to start.

Chengcheng took the pen from my hand, turned the direction of the rice paper, and wrote down Shu Cong's name on the cooked Xuan bookmark that specially recorded the names of the descendants of the Fu family. When he stopped writing, Feng Shizhi happened to be With Cheng Ling holding the child in her arms, she pushed the door open.

"Miss, the young master is here." Feng Shizhi bowed and gestured in the direction behind the door.

Ji Bin held a thin steel needle in his hand. As long as this thing penetrated through the top of a person's skull, it would be gone before he could even scream.

I said that Chengcheng intended to do something to the child. In fact, I had never thought about it myself. When Ji Bin told me this plan, I never thought of rejecting it. So after I signaled Cheng Ling to come in with the child, I raised my fingertips. He lightly touched the jade bowl on the table.

The spoon is Cheng Ling, and the child is the bowl. If the bowl is broken, it is difficult to leave the spoon alone. Naturally, both the mother and the child will die. If only the spoon is dropped, the child is innocent, not to mention that I was the one who decided to keep him...

But now things have changed.

If the old man is still alive, it’s not that I can’t tolerate a child. I need this child to support the eldest son. If something happens to me, the eldest son will have heirs, and they won’t let them worry about the fact that Chengcheng is an illegitimate son and cannot inherit. , but who would have thought that it was the old master who had the accident first? Chengcheng has already become the boss. I am not in bad health and can still take care of him for a few years. So if I keep this child, if he is ambitious when he grows up, There is a half chance that raising tigers will cause trouble.

If you are really soft-hearted, it would be easier to control yourself if you leave the mother and keep the son.

"What was Shu Cong's character like in the last life?" I asked suddenly.

Chengcheng noticed something strange about me and couldn't help but be more vigilant. He looked back at Feng Shizhi, who was standing gloomily in the corner. Unfortunately, from his perspective, he couldn't see Ji Bin.

"You can't tell the character of such a young child. It's just like that. Children are always noisy..."

Chengcheng was probably a little flustered. He had never done anything like this. I held his wrist and felt his pulse beating violently.

I calmly handed the signature I just wrote into Feng Shizhi's hand: "Take it to the ancestral hall and leave it there. After the funeral, I will arrange for the family to create a genealogy for the child."

"Which lineage do you plan to give the young master to?" Feng Shizhi leaned over and asked, then he also gave me the child in his arms.

I looked at the sleeping baby in my arms, and then glanced at Cheng Ling who reluctantly sat down in the corner while holding on to the wall.

I heard that she gave birth last night and she didn't give birth until dawn. She said she ate too much and didn't exercise much when she was pregnant with the baby, so the baby was too big and difficult to deliver because no one signed it for her. There was no way to operate if there was severe bleeding. In the morning, a relative from her mother's family, who seemed to be her aunt or uncle, hurried over and signed the form before having a caesarean section. Because she was a mistress, the relatives at home were shameless. After signing the form, He cursed and ran away, but Cheng Ling woke up and called home. The second uncle just told him in Hongtang that the family knew that such a young master existed.

It was really difficult for her. It had only been half a day since the caesarean section. She couldn't relax for a moment and ran from Linjiang to Jinhai immediately, but she deserved it.

Seeing Feng Shizhi's appearance reminded me to put Shucong in a small house without a name, so that it would be more convenient to handle it.

I thought for a while and said: "I remember a year or two ago, an elder who I think called Uncle Qi passed away in the surrounding house. He was young, his parents were gone, he didn't marry a wife, and he didn't have any children. , I think just hang it there."

I said and glanced at Cheng Ling again. She had been crying since Lao Fu died. She cried longer than me. I didn't know whether she was crying for Lao Fu or herself.

My sympathy was exhausted by the unreasonable irritability, and I even patted the child too hard. Xiao Shucong woke up and started crying in my arms. Only then did I come back to my senses and quickly comforted her. .

When she raised her head again, Cheng Ling looked pitifully in the direction of her child. I moved Shu Cong to a place, and then she came back to her senses and hurriedly stood up to face me.

"I've arranged for Shu Cong to be adopted. Are you okay with that?" I said with a sigh of relief.

"No, no..." Cheng Ling stumbled and stuttered, knowing that there was little hope, but as a mother, she had to fight for something for her child, at least for her life. She kept pinching her lower abdomen with both hands. : "Miss, Second Young Master, it doesn't matter where Shucong is, but you also said that the seventh uncle has passed away, and the child is still so young, someone must take care of him..."

"You know I really want to stuff him into that empty, empty house, leave him like that, and let the ghost of Uncle Qi who is wandering inside take care of him personally." I gritted my teeth and said, but looking at With a small baby in my arms, no bigger than the set of teacups on the table, I really couldn't make an easy decision.

I looked up at Chengcheng, trying to find out the child's ending from his expression. Chengcheng pursed his lips and thought for a while, then pushed the jade bowl I had at hand.

"Miss, it doesn't matter what I do, my life is worthless. The child is innocent..." Cheng Ling covered her face and cried: "Even if you adopt him as a shabu-shabu cleaning boy and leave him alive to serve you, You can do it, you were the one who saved him back then..."

"Come on, I'll just say it casually. Chengcheng and I will raise Shucong ourselves, so you don't have to worry."

I glanced outside the door. It seemed that Cheng Ling also realized her ending. When she followed my line of sight, she actually smiled and nodded.

"Go away." I stopped looking up and hugged Shucong to Chengcheng: "Give him a nickname."

"I couldn't remember this for a while, let's talk about it later." Chengcheng said, raising his eyes and looking at the direction of my finger movement.

I did grab the jade bowl and slowly moved it out. From the corner of my eye, I saw Cheng Ling stopping at the gate and not stepping out of the threshold for a long time.

Maybe she has seen Ji Bin hiding in the dark waiting to take action, maybe she is also waiting for me to give the order to die. When the critical moment comes, it is a pity that I am still hesitant. In the end, I just can’t bear it. I sigh deeply. After taking a breath, I thought of an explanation to deal with myself.

Why did Cheng Ling die so easily? How could she so easily atone for the sins she had committed throughout her life? I refuse to give in.

I want her to live like this for the rest of her life like a zombie. She loves her children. I want her to never see Shu Cong for the rest of her life. I want her to suffer for a long time, just like Zheng Lin pretended to do back then.

I finally pushed the jade bowl back and held Shu Cong in my arms again.

"Get lost." I seemed disappointed with my softness, but also relieved, but I also gained a lot of life.

After snorting coldly, Cheng Ling suddenly relaxed, then opened the door and left crying. Chengcheng breathed a long sigh of relief, and even the little Shu Cong in his arms seemed to be sensible and broke out into a loud cry. .

"Feng Shizhi, go and find some nannies for Shu Cong who are dedicated to taking care of children. You can also buy some things and choose a bedroom with the best sunshine in our courtyard for him to live in."