Fall in love with your enemy

The next time, I was still in a daze when I came out from my aunt's place. Liang Sen came up and helped me. It took me a long time to regain my consciousness, and then I felt dizzy for a while. I could play a good hand of cards into It's rare for me to see such a mess, but what she said to me made me think deeply after I calmed down completely.

She said everyone wants something from me, but what do I have?

In the future, there may be benefits of marriage, and judging from the situation in the previous life, Lao Fu and my second uncle didn't care about my marriage. At first, it must have been a problem that I lost the family's face by getting pregnant before we were married. Gao Xinci said After several times of proving that it was his fault, the family became even more angry. The old man was okay, and for the sake of An An, he also advised me to continue living if I could. The second uncle also listened to my opinion. The younger uncle had a bad temper and immediately yelled at me. He beat me up and said that I had been holding it back and refused to tell the truth, and that I wanted to go to the Gao family as if I hated getting married. When my brother found out, he snatched me out of the Gao family and beat me up, forcing me to divorce, which resulted in Now whenever I see his expressionless expression, I am so scared that I want to cry.

The final result was that the few business deals that the Fu family and the Gao family had done with dignity were left to Chengcheng to break the contract after I was embarrassed by the Gao family at a certain banquet. My mother-in-law came to my house in person and avoided her, and Chengcheng also He mentioned that he would take me home to live with him for a while, but I thought this was the problem of the Gao family, not Gao Xinci's. He had always been embarrassed by his family, so there was no need to blame him for this. , so he secretly slipped the note and ran back home, and the matter dropped.

So even with the benefits of marriage, my family has never taken advantage of the Gao family. So what else do I have that is tempting enough to be like this? I really can't figure it out.

Just as I was thinking about it, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out distractedly and glanced at it. But just this glance made me energetic. It was from Gao Xinci:

"Can we meet tonight? I'll go back to our courtyard."

I don’t ask him to forgive me immediately, but at least give me a chance to ask for forgiveness. We never had a good conversation in the last life, and in the end we just lived like mud and dawdling. We know that everyone will suffer in that way. But everyone felt that they were not at fault. Occasionally, we said that we wanted to have a good chat, but in the end it turned into a quarrel. After that, except for falling asleep in the same bed, we almost had no interaction with each other.

I will never let my life be like the last life. It was only when I lived it again that I realized that I really paid too little attention to him. I always put all my energy into my own home or reading silently. To make up for my previous debt, I forgot the person who loves me most in this world.

It was I who regarded his love as a habit, but I didn’t know that no matter how warm the love, it would be extinguished by a cold-water response.

I replied immediately, my hands shaking when typing, and I had already forgotten the question I just thought of. I didn’t dare to waste time. Although he was talking about night, how could I dare to see him with my haggard look? I immediately went back to the house to tidy up, and it was already past five o'clock when we set out.

I didn't expect Gao Xinci to be waiting in the small courtyard early. I don't know what his state of mind is now, but I have never seen him like this. He has been self-restrained since he was a child, and he has forgotten all the rules for a while. Jing, he is usually quite angry, and others can't see it, because he always looks like that even when he is in a hurry. He just talks a little faster, his face is a little red, and he never uses a curse word, but it's different today. .

I didn't see him hiding behind the curtains. I was about to walk over slowly when he passed through the glass door, but was dragged in by a pair of hands with bulging veins. Before I could call for help, his whole body was lifted up and carried on his shoulders. , I was startled and out of breath, and the words "help" stuck in my throat couldn't be uttered. The person carrying me said it for me.

"roll!"

It seemed that he had used up all the anger in his heart to roar out. When I recognized him, my body became stiff, because from the moment he exploded, I understood that he said it in front of me, even if it looked like He was yelling at people outside, but I knew that he actually hated me.

Who else could be out there? It was Liang Sen and the driver who came to see me off, and Zuo Qiao and Zhu Wenqing who he brought with him.

It was Liang Sen who helped me deceive him, and it was Zuo Qiao and Zhu Wenqing who tore the truth apart and handed it to him. There was countless resentment in his heart. Even if he knew that they were not wrong, they had only done their best. It was his responsibility, but he just refused to vent his verbal anger on me.

And all I can do is give Liang Sen one final look: Leave me alone today no matter what, and I will bear the consequences no matter what.

Sticking to the cold wall, being restrained by the taken-off tie and raising my hands high, my tears began to flow down like broken beads. My eyes turned red from crying and I begged him pitifully. , my whole body was limp and I couldn’t stand, but he no longer felt sorry for me. He just held my waist tightly with one hand and forced me not to leave. From that moment on, something stuck in my chest, and I choked. Choking and having difficulty breathing.

The sobs were mixed together in a mess. Even I didn't know what I was talking about. I could probably distinguish two words, which were the repeated "no". However, the movements of his hands never stopped for a moment, and the objects on my body were placed in sequence. I was dragged and torn by him, and my hat, scarf, and denim jacket fell to the ground. I didn't dare to raise my eyes to look at him, so I had to lower my head a little lower, but he refused, and gently pinched my neck to lift me up. , I can only close my eyes as if to hide my ears.

"lift it up."

I could bear it when the tip of my tongue touched it lightly, but if I sucked a little harder, both my psychological and physical instincts would only make me retreat. I curled up my neck and choked at first, but gradually my voice became louder and louder. Big, everywhere in the body hurts, the pain is desperate.

It's not that I don't want to give myself to him, I just don't want to use this method. I really can't let go of what happened back then. I can't forget that when I was tied to the railing, I looked at the pale ceiling and my whole lower body was numb. I was shaking so badly. I was exhausted from the night's torture. Even when I woke up in the morning and saw that my legs were covered in a mixture of blood and frost, I didn't have the strength to cry out loud.

Even if I later lived with him for seven years, even if this kind of thing happened countless times in those seven years.

But I'm never being pretentious, I'm really scared...

I'm afraid that he will get into my dreams like this and won't go away. I will even start to be afraid of sleeping. Every time I close my eyes, my body will feel a dull pain. In extreme cases, if I don't close my eyes for a long time, my eyes will turn red. But even if Even so, I still can't break free.

Seeing that I didn't respond, Gao Xinci had no choice but to take action on his own, but he really couldn't spare any space. As soon as his left hand around my waist was released, my whole body slid down the wall like a loach, restraining my hands. As soon as I let go of my right hand, I pressed against his shoulder to prevent him from getting closer. Finally, after several pulls, he lost his patience and picked me up by the waist and carried me into the living room.

I swept it down with my sleeves, and all the cup decorations on the table fell to the ground with a crisp sound. I was so frightened that I squatted on the ground, and was dragged up by his wrist again. A light blue sweater, he seemed to want to respect my already dilapidated sense of shame, so after the sweater, the almost transparent white vest was not taken off, but the thing wrapping my chest inside was It flew to who knows where, and when it was rubbed up from the lower back, I almost screamed, and I hurriedly covered my mouth.

The sticky feeling started from the waist, passed through the back, the back of the neck, and climbed up my spine bit by bit. When it reached my ears, I didn't dare to move. He took a bite, and I couldn't help but feel the pain. After reacting, I hurriedly covered my eyes tightly. The heavy tears made me unable to see the front clearly. I hunched over and didn't dare to take a breath. But as I said, he was not satisfied with how obedient I was.

It really pissed him off, and he wanted me to cry till he was in a dark place.

The hands covering my mouth were removed, and he moved harder every time. Suddenly he hit me from behind, and I was satisfied when I heard crying.

"I want to kiss you all over your body, all the time, I want you, I want you..." Gao Xinci gently leaned against my ear.

"No, Xin Ci, please don't do this. I'm scared. I'm wrong. I'm really wrong... I beg you, you can do whatever you want, but please don't do it in this way. I'm really scared. I'm begging you... "

I cried and wanted to run away, but my wrist was tightly restrained and I couldn't escape at all. He quickly flattened it and placed it on the table.

When my hands were tied to the legs of the table and I saw the pale ceiling again, I felt as if I had returned to my previous life. I thought, if rebirth means starting over again, then what is the meaning of my life and my new life? ?

I might as well have been crushed under that truck and my soul would be scattered, and I wouldn’t have to go back to this world again.

The ankles were lifted up to the shoulders, the hot palms were pressed against the insides, and the trembling feet were also grasped. When the skin and flesh were firmly pressed against each other, I seemed to be numb. Before I even started, I was in this rigid position, like a chopping board waiting for death. The fish had been knocked unconscious and had no consciousness. All that was left was to open its eyes and watch as its skin and bones were peeled off. There was never any light, only death.

But I can’t say whether it’s better than fish?

"Shishi, what's wrong with you?"

After closing my eyes tightly, I heard a buzzing sound in my ears, and then my trapped hands were released, and my knees suddenly hurt for a moment. Only then did I realize that my whole body seemed to be shaking violently.

"Shishi, Shishi? Don't scare me..." Gao Xinci pulled my shoulders and made me sit on the ground.

But there seemed to be a tendon pulling in my body. I couldn't straighten up at all. I was bent into a curved line and lay on the ground unable to move.

"I...I'm in pain, but I can't tell where it hurts. I can't breathe. Xin Ci, my medicine...my medicine is in my pocket..." I said with the last bit of my strength.

Gao Xinci panicked. He would not have thought that there would be such consequences, and neither did I. The lack of response in the last life was probably because my body had been nourished for many years and was almost healed. But now that I am back to this time, I I couldn't bear any pressure at all, whether it was psychological or physical, so I was discharged from the hospital this morning.

There is a sedative in my pocket. Although I don't use it often, I still keep it with me at all times. Aunt Wensu prepared a bottle for me after my brother died.

I don’t know why I suddenly became like this, but fortunately I was right. I was just frightened. After taking a sedative, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I no longer felt anything strange.

There was a warm quilt under me, with an arm resting on my pillow. I moved a little, and that arm seemed to be surprised for a moment, but it soon fell silent.

In the dark room, a sigh hit the walls full of desolation.

"Do you feel better?"

A gentle kiss fell on my forehead, and I finally survived the redemption, so I desperately crawled into this embrace, and finally escaped the fear when my cheek was pressed against my chest.

It was he who gave me fear, and it was he who took away fear.

"I'm sorry." When Gao Xinci said these words, it was like a knife was stabbed in my heart. My flesh and blood suddenly became blurred, and sadness and sorrow slowly dripped all over the floor.

I shook my head desperately, wanting to cry but still keeping silent, for fear of disturbing the hard-earned peace, I buried my cheek deeply in the quilt.

"I am the one who should say sorry, Xin Ci, believe me, those photos... I have never done anything like that! Not once! The Zhou family came up with those things just to destroy us. I have no choice. Everything I have is under guard, but I can't really accept my fate. I can only think of this way, but I have never done the things in the photos..." I choked.

Gao Xinci didn't speak first, but just rubbed my hair, then raised his hand to find the switch of the desk lamp. He pressed it according to the position in his memory and then dimmed the light. When the room was illuminated by the warm yellow light, At that moment, he let out a long sigh and looked straight at me with a pair of deep pupils.

"Shishi, do you really think I'm angry about this? Do you think no one had secretly conveyed any news to me before you gave me those photos? The Zhou family's work is so obvious, am I a blind person or a fool? ? Can be deceived by them. What image do I have in your mind? You will think that I would rather believe a few sets of unfounded photos than believe you. I never care about the rumors outside, but what about you? Do you believe it? Have you ever cared about me? In other words, have you ever cared about me?"

I was stunned for a moment and didn't understand what he meant. And he also saw my confusion and couldn't help but laugh at himself and feel even sadder.

"If you believe me, you should tell me when someone hurts you from the beginning. At least, you should let me help if you come up with a way. If you care about me and you know that this plan will hurt me, you should at least There was a moment of hesitation, but you had nothing, you would just gamble that I didn’t see those things, and for so many days, you didn’t even ask me once, and you didn’t even see how sad I was.”

I finally understood, and my heart suddenly felt empty.

"I'm sorry..." I obviously had a thousand words to say, but when I came to speak, these three words were the only ones left. I knew that saying more would only be quibbling.

Gao Xinci rubbed my back and cried with his forehead against mine. He couldn't help it anymore. When he spoke, he was even more humble than me, as if he was the one who made the mistake.

"Shishi, tell me everything you have in the future, okay?"

"There won't be a next time! I won't, I'm sorry..." I hugged him tightly as if to express my determination.

"Okay, what happened before is in the past. I only have one question to ask you now."

"You said."

"Do you love me?"

It was such a simple question that I could blurt out at any time. I rushed forward and kissed his lips gently.

"I love you."

Gao Xinci breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes with contentment. He patted my back gently, as if talking to me or to himself.

"That's enough, that's enough..."