My 26-year-old female tenant: Gufan on the Island

I have no way of knowing what kind of emotions were triggered when I faced Chen Qianyu and her sister in this simple house on such a night; I just felt that my seemingly neat life was suddenly torn apart. Huge gap. This gap is full of gravity, and it swallows up light, emotions, confusion in human relations, desires, fame and fortune... and finally leaves a body with only flesh and blood. , loneliness turned into a torrent, washing away the call of life, and there was no separation in death.

Everything is broken, gradually returning to dreams and nothingness.

And it seemed like it was time for me to say "good night" to this city; so, I finally lit a cigarette and said to Chen Bailu, who had been looking at me: "Bailu, I often feel that my life is a... Dream, in this dream, only loneliness is purely visible... We must be lonely. We can neither learn to love ourselves nor know how to love others, and then we are abandoned by others while abandoning others... To Finally, standing in a wilderness, looking back, only yourself and your own shadow are left... At this time, death comes as expected, turning into a sharp arrow that pierces your heart and your body. lifetime……"

Chen Bailu thought for a long time and typed back: "Brother Zhaoyang, I was talking to you about my sister, why did you turn into talking about yourself?"

I laughed: "Chen Qianyu is not a fish, so does Zhaoyang really mean Chaoyang?... You will understand later."

After saying that, I stood up, then looked back at Chen Qianyu, who was still busy in the kitchen, and whispered to Chen Bailu: "I'm leaving. Please tell your sister that the money I owe is I will find a way to return it to her as soon as possible.”

……

Walking on the street, I still remember Chen Bailu's confused and confused look before leaving; in fact, I don't know why I said these words to him; maybe, I just want to tell him that if I can put this situation full of variables into perspective, If you look at life indifferently, you can reduce a lot of mental pain in life; but for him, pain and loneliness are inevitable, it is better to become enlightened early, let go of attachments early, and face it with a submissive attitude Perhaps destiny can gradually become smoother, instead of pinning all hopes on a Zhaoyang that is not Chaoyang at all.

……

After walking for another stop, Chen Bailu sent me a WeChat message. I thought it was some realization, but he just asked: "Brother Zhaoyang, you said you would take me to the bar tomorrow night. Does it still count?"

"As long as you want to go, of course it counts."

"I want to go."

"Okay, when I get off work tomorrow, I'll take you to have some fun."

……

Unknowingly, I walked to the community where I lived and glanced subconsciously. Among the shops along the street, only the convenience store and the lottery shop on the other side were still open.

I first went to the convenience store and bought a pack of cigarettes, but I didn't think about buying lottery tickets, because I no longer had the motivation to move forward in my life, and I no longer had the desire to go astray.

There was a time when I was really addicted to buying lottery tickets, making at least ten bets each time. At that time, all my expectations in life came from the fantasy of lottery tickets, and the fantasy that I could win 50 million.

If I win 50 million, I will definitely call Jian Wei as soon as possible, pretend to call her "Weiwei", and then tell her how troubled I am recently, but it doesn't matter, I just won 50 million.

She will be delighted! More than just happy, I want to take action immediately: first buy a 200-square-meter big house in Suzhou, and then buy her a better car to travel around. When I get tired of playing, I will go back to Suzhou to open an advertisement. company.

It is the dream of both of us to open an advertising agency. With this advertising agency, our futures will definitely be highly compatible, so we will definitely live happily.

However, I was not able to get the 50 million after all, and Jian Wei's desperate expression when she saw the pile of lottery tickets became more like a mark, which was deeply engraved in my mind and can never be forgotten. .

From that day on, I never bought a lottery ticket again and no longer had any expectations for the future; I knew that with my abilities and opportunities, I would never be able to earn wealth that could match Jane Wei's in this life.

I am just an ordinary man who cannot be more ordinary, and it is not that I have not worked hard. But over the years, poverty has been chasing me like a vicious dog.

In the end, I fell under its canine teeth, leaving me broken both physically and mentally.

……

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but look at the lottery shop that was still open and lost my mind. After a long time, I lit a cigarette for myself. When I was about to finish smoking, I sat down on a bench on the street.

I finally took out my phone, which had been dormant for a long time, out of my pocket; I have a habit of scrolling through my circle of friends in the dead of night to see what other people are doing on their day. Attention limited to self.

I saw Le Yao's updates from half an hour ago. She went to the bar again, but the people drinking with her were no longer the same group of people as yesterday.

Although we haven't known each other long enough, we have a little affection for each other. I finally couldn't hold it back and took the initiative to leave a message on her post. I said: Have you been hired as a bartender?

She replied after a moment: "It has nothing to do with you."

"To be honest, I was just tricked by a bartender..."

"Ha ha ha ha……"

"Is it that funny?"

Perhaps the aura between the two people has not been completely repaired, so Le Yao chose to ignore my doubts, and her ignorance aroused my emotions even more, and then fell into an unfavorable cycle.

She is probably working as a bartender. This is my experience gained from hanging out in bars for a long time; any beautiful woman who has no money and still likes to go around must have some ulterior interests involved with the bar. .

……

After getting this judgment, my heart became more and more contradictory; on the one hand, I looked down upon her more and more, but on the other hand, I didn't want her to sink deeper and deeper into such a quagmire...

However, I am also stuck in the quagmire, what can I do for her?

Indulging in the night, this feeling of helplessness was suddenly inexplicably amplified, and then I remembered that I still owed Chen Qianyu more than 10,000 yuan...

Finally, the pain of being pursued by poverty overwhelmed me again; I breathed hard, gradually focused on the lottery shop that was still open, and touched my pocket.

There are still more than two hundred dollars in my pocket.

……

I walked into the lottery shop again, handed the money to the boss, and said, "Give me ten scratch-off tickets with a face value of twenty yuan."

"There are several kinds of twenty-dollar denominations. Which one do you want?"

"Give me some, just make ten."

……

The lottery shop was a little dark, so I kept my head buried in the scratching process; suddenly I raised my head suddenly and shouted to the boss who was huddled behind the service desk watching TV: "Lao Ping, come and take a look, this is Did Zhang win?"

"The scratch-off lottery has a high winning rate. If you win, you win... Why are you so excited?"

"Come here and put on your reading glasses...it seems a little different this time..."

Lao Ping then stood up, then walked to me and bent down to look at me, and suddenly shouted: "My mother... the lottery shop has been open for so long, this is the biggest bonus I have ever gotten!"

"Are you awesome?"

"Must be awesome!"

"Then why don't you hurry up and redeem the prize for me..."

"For your amount, you must first register at the Welfare Lottery Center before you can claim your prize."

When I looked at Lao Ping, I felt depressed at first, and then it was like opening a flood gate to release the flood, and I laughed loudly...