My 26-year-old female tenant: Gufan on the Island

I lit a cigarette, sat down on the steps in front of a shop, and then looked at it absently; at this time, the sunlight seemed to be struggling, it was blocked by the fog and could not break through, so there was a little more in the air. The damp and cold smell entered my respiratory tract along with the smoke when the wind blew, forming my first impression of the city of Zhengzhou.

This is obviously not a good impression, but it is based on subjective... I seem to have lost everything here, and I can't see the future direction clearly, so I took another strong puff of cigarette and held it in my mouth for a long time. Just spit it out...

These changes were all seen by Le Yao. As she sat down next to me, she also complained: "Why do you look so depressed? You don't even have the consciousness to come out and play!"

"Have you ever thought that I am a very contradictory person?"

"What's wrong with contradictions? Contradictions are the source and driving force for the development of things."

"The contradiction I am talking about is not the same thing as the contradiction you understand... My contradiction comes from the ego... For example, how I feel about the city of Suzhou. Sometimes I really want to escape, but my landlord just called me. , saying that there are buyers who are thinking about the rental house where I live now, and I suddenly feel empty in my heart... Speaking of that old house, it is really strange, as if there is a magnetic field... You know, I just moved On the first day I entered, I felt that this was the place I should stay. Although it was shabby and small, and it didn’t even have a property manager, it gave me a sense of solidity that no other place could give me... This That’s the contradiction I’m talking about. On the one hand, I want to leave Suzhou, but I can’t afford such a rented place..."

Le Yao was silent for a long time, and then replied: "You are indeed quite contradictory. You can have feelings for a house that has no emotions or consciousness, but the feelings between people need others to push you. To feel..."

"Didn't you answer the question a little bit?"

"It's true that you are the most incapable of empathy I have ever seen!"

"When you cry, I cry with you regardless of the reason. Is this what I call the ability to empathize?"

"I don't want you to cry with me. I just want you to smile with me when I am happy. That's enough... For example, now, I am very happy because I have arrived in a city that I have never been to before, but you are here In this city, what I’m thinking about is the contradictions in Suzhou... Shouldn’t people live in the present? Are those things that have nothing to do with you really so important? "

"That's just because you think it has nothing to do with me... There is God's will in the world..." After a pause, I added: "It is also a kind of God's will that we can meet... From the moment we met From the beginning, there was a mission between us. Maybe my mission to you is that I cannot empathize with you..."

"If you don't know how to speak human language, please stop saying a few words."

"I don't know how to speak human words, but I can do human things... Let's go..."

"what?"

"Make some money and buy tickets for Longmen Grottoes... Even if you come here, you can actually stand at the door and watch the promotional video."

……

I used the more than 800 yuan I had left to buy a second-hand guitar that was fairly easy to use. This made Le Yao feel a sense of crisis, so that as soon as she walked out of the musical instrument store, she said to me: "You If you don’t buy this guitar, it’s actually enough to buy the tickets to Longmen Grottoes... You’ve spent all the money now, and if you can’t get your blood back, we won’t even be able to buy the tickets to Luoyang.”

"Do you know what it means for a skilled artist to be bold?...Don't limit your desires to just two tickets to see the Longmen Grottoes. If you want to be comfortable in Luoyang, you have to have confidence in my current behavior."

Le Yao already knew my intention, but still replied worriedly: "Then can you be better than Robben? He has already started a funeral procession."

"He was forced by life, and I was improvising... In terms of inspiration, they are not on the same level."

Le Yao finally had some confidence in me; at this time, I also put the guitar on her shoulders and said, "In order to make you feel involved, you will be my chief violinist from now on."

"It's very heavy!"

I glanced at her emotionally; then, she changed her words and said, "I endured it in order to make money!"

"That's pretty much it."

I sighed like this, and suddenly realized that she seemed to be the second woman in the world to help me carry the guitar. The first one was of course Jian Wei... In fact, she was very similar to Jian Wei in body shape, except Except that her hair needs to be longer, but I can't recall that time with her back... Because she and Jian Wei have two completely different personalities. She seems to be able to be honest about everything, but Jian Wei always Hiding my worries...

At this time, she was already a few steps ahead of me, and suddenly turned her head and asked me: "Is the chief violinist a high-status position?"

"They are already chiefs, so of course they are very high."

"Then do you have a second violinist?"

After a period of silence, I replied: "I don't have the second-in-command piano player. It was because she quit...that's why you became the first-in-command."

"It took a long time, I was just a substitute."

"Carrying the piano is just a job, it has no emotional ups and downs."

"Should I say you're sober, or should I praise you for being business-like?"

"Let's get down to business...after all, I haven't been sober for a long time."

……

We chose a location with a relatively dense crowd in the square of the train station and started our street performance. The content of the performance was of course playing and singing by ourselves.

Since I was in Zhengzhou, I sang a song related to Zhengzhou. This act of catering to others was very effective and soon attracted some people to stop.

Le Yao was eager to make money, and after singing only half of the song, she took a square cardboard box she picked up from the trash can and asked passers-by for money. This inevitably made her look ugly, but fortunately she was pretty enough, so it didn't cause much resentment. It’s just that those who don’t want to give money still don’t want to give money. Those who want to give money should be given in advance.

Rather than saying that she looked ugly, it was better to say that she had foresight; after a while, the management of the square evicted us for disturbing the order.

She still carried the guitar for me and sat on the bench on the street with some frustration; I was not surprised, lit a cigarette and said to her: "I have earned enough money for the ticket to Luoyang... "

"I haven't heard enough yet!"

I looked at her with some surprise, and she asked again: "You should be quite popular with women, right?"

"Don't tell you."

"Tch...you tell me whether you tell me or not, I know...I have seen through your tricks a long time ago...For a girl who is inexperienced in the world, you take her to see the prosperity of the world; for a woman with a vicissitude of heart, you Just take her to ride the merry-go-round...the main theme is to make all women confused. "

"Isn't it a bit ridiculous for you to say this to a man who is falling out of love?"

"But for a moment, I really thought you were quite handsome... The only flaw is that you didn't wear the studded leather jacket I gave you, which would have made you look more rock and roll."

"If you hadn't been so impulsive and given me some time to pack my luggage, I would have definitely brought that studded leather jacket."

"Why are you talking about whims again..."

I didn't respond, and she added: "Okay, blame me this time... From now on, you can wear that dress more often... and then sing heart-breakingly... In this way, I will see you wearing studded leather clothes countless times. , holding the guitar, heartbroken..."

"What's in it for you?"

"It's no good, but I will feel sorry for you more and more... If I learn to feel sorry for you, I won't remember the nasty words you said..."

"Is there any logical connection?"

Le Yao ignored my doubts, but took out a small gadget from his pocket, handed it to my hand, and said with a smile: "A little doll that can change faces, I give it to you..."

I took it, played with it, and asked, "When did you buy it?"

"When you went to buy a guitar, I bought it at the toy store next door..."

"It's fun, but if you buy this thing, you won't even have money to buy instant noodles, right?"

"As long as you are happy, you don't have to eat."

After saying that, she habitually held her chin and looked at me... But I looked at the crowds and traffic filling the streets, and I just felt that this was a lonely escape, with neither a starting point nor an end...