One big and one small are practicing love

Even if she knew that he had betrayed Teacher Wang, even if she had been separated from him for more than a month, even if she knew that Chen Qingyan was by his side now. Liu Xiaochen still had expectations for this emotion and couldn't really let it go.

Reason, time, distance and busyness are all just temporary anesthetics. After I woke up, I was still in pain. There is no way to escape. Only by facing it sincerely and finding the cause can real cure be possible.

All night long, Liu Xiaochen held the diary and for the first time truly stood in Teacher Wang's shoes and re-examined her relationship with Zuo Kunmin.

Admittedly, Liu Xiaochen couldn't really guess what Teacher Wang was thinking. But she knew what it felt like for the person she loved to be with another woman, jealousy, hatred, and unwillingness.

I also thought of the "Dream of Red Mansions" I had read. Mrs. Wang, Wang Xifeng and other ancient ladies were taught that husbands should have three wives and four concubines since childhood. Even if it is morally permitted and educationally promoted. But the real situation is that they hate those concubines very much and do many things that hurt others and themselves.

It seems to be a woman's nature to want to monopolize a man's love. Perhaps it is because in ancient times, the living environment was cruel, women had weak physical strength, and they had to give birth to children, so they needed the care and support of men to survive. Such genes are deeply retained in women.

The essence is women's fear and weakness.

After thinking about this clearly, although it is still impossible to overcome, it can reduce the jealousy and hatred towards Chen Qingyan, and also give rise to true understanding and apology for Teacher Wang.

……

On New Year's Eve, Liu Xiaochen stayed up all night, thinking deeply and carefully about this emotion. What is true love? What does it mean for two people to be together? Can love last forever? Is there right or wrong in love? ...I want to think more clearly, but there are still a lot of confusions that I can't sort out.

The only firm thing is that they really shouldn't be together anymore. Whether it's a practical obstacle or Liu Xiaochen's own limitations.

The sound of "cracking" firecrackers suddenly sounded, far and near, all ringing together.

Liu Xiaochen stopped dreaming when he heard the sound, grabbed his phone and looked at it, it was about 5 o'clock. The sorrow is infinite, but time is limited. You have to get up and do practical things.

After not sleeping all night, and running around for the past two days, the heating in the room was insufficient. Liu Xiaochen felt sleepy and tired and didn't want to get up. When he was hesitating, he heard a knock on the door.

"Wait a minute." Liu Xiaochen shouted, then stuffed the diary under the pillow, quickly dressed and got out of bed, and trotted to the door.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw Aunt Sun and Sun Xinxin standing at the door. Aunt Sun held up two plates of wrapped dumplings and said: "This plate is vegetarian leek and eggs, and that plate is pork and green onions. You and Xinxin can eat it. I will return it when I get home." If you have something to do, I won’t go in." He said and handed the dumpling in his hand to Liu Xiaochen.

"Thank you, Happy New Year, Aunt Sun." Liu Xiaochen took the dumplings and went back to the house with Sun Xinxin.

As soon as he entered the room, Liu Xiaochen said: "You're celebrating the Chinese New Year, why are you here so early?"

Sun Xinxin sat down on the edge of the Kang, put her crutches on the corner, and said, "Just now, my third uncle and his family came to my house to pay New Year greetings. As soon as they sat down, they started talking about my legs. I didn't want to hear it. There were many people there soon." When I come home, I won’t be able to see you.”

"What fillings do you want to eat?" Liu Xiaochen said, putting two plates of dumplings on the table.

"I don't want to eat anything. I haven't woken up yet. I want to lie down for a while." Sun Xinxin said, taking off her shoes and going to bed.

Liu Xiaochen grinned and said, "I'm not hungry either and want to sleep. But I have to do something first, so you should lie down first."

After that, Liu Xiaochen went to work. Filling the electric heater with water, setting off a bunch of firecrackers at the gate, lighting the cypress branches in the yard, burning incense and lighting wax in front of the photos of his parents and younger brother... After finishing all these things, Liu Xiaochen returned to the bedside again and saw Sun Xinxin in front of her. Leaning on the bedside, scrolling on the phone.

"Why don't you sleep?" Liu Xiaochen said as he took off his clothes and shoes.

"Alas!" Sun Xinxin put down the phone and sighed: "Why do you think boys change their minds so quickly?"

Liu Xiaochen got into bed, sat down next to Sun Xinxin, and said, "Did you break up with Zhang Qiang?"

"When I was hospitalized in Beijing, he came to see me and said he would always stay with me. Half a month ago, I only had two or three quarrels with him and had a cold war for a few days. He just got along with a girl from his school. "Speaking, Sun Xinxin shed tears.

Liu Xiaochen took the tissue from the corner of the bed, handed it to Sun Xinxin, and said, "Your university has been in a different place for more than three years. How can you be sure that they just got there a few days ago?"

Sun Xinxin's tears became even fiercer. She took out several tissues and kept wiping her tears.

‘Chirping, chirping’, it was already dawn, and a few sparrows were chirping on the apple tree outside the window. Liu Xiaochen looked sideways, waiting quietly for Sun Xinxin to calm down.

"So, you and Teacher Zuo are also doing this for this reason?" Sun Xinxin said suddenly.