One big and one small are practicing love

Zuo Kunmin's eyes drifted far away and he said eloquently: "You are a baby with high needs. You cry at every turn, and you can't breathe when you cry. The amazing thing is that your mother stops crying as soon as she hugs you. But your mother is an elderly woman. You are very weak and cannot hold you all the time. Sometimes when mom is really tired, she puts you on the bed, locks the door, and cries with you."

"Where's dad, where are grandparents? They don't care about me?"

"No one is allowed to hold you, not even dad or me. One week after you were born, grandma suffered a cerebral infarction, and grandpa had to take care of grandma. Mom also got mastitis and had high fever and convulsions. Dad couldn't work, so he was busy at home. The house was in a mess, and I He was sent to Shenyang. When I got home more than a month later, I saw that my mother had aged four or five years, and my mother, who loves beauty so much, looked very embarrassed and slovenly."

"I cried for more than a month?"

"You cried until you were three years old." Zuo Kunmin said affirmatively and smiled: "I don't know where you get so much energy. You sleep for five or six hours every day, and the rest of the time you rely on your mother to hold you. I just cried my heart out."

"Am I that scary?"

Zuo Kunmin ignored the question and continued: "When you were weaned for a week, your mother's body and mind were on the verge of collapse, and she was in urgent need of treatment and recuperation. But she was still worried about leaving you to others. She looked for wet nurses and nannies everywhere. I tried everything, but you didn't follow anyone. Until Aunt Lan came back from abroad to visit mom, and for some reason, you were very close to her. Aunt Lan had been married for two years and had no children, but she was willing to take care of you. Mom observed her for half a month, Seeing that you always laugh when you are with Aunt Lan, my mother can trust you and leave you to her."

"Then there's no need to leave me there for so many years."

"My mother took care of me for more than a year before I got better physically and mentally. When you were five years old, I was ready to take you home. Grandpa and grandma got sick one after another, and my mother had to take care of her. She couldn't get away from it. Aunt Lan said that you have amazing talent in painting, and she You are a famous painter, and my mother saw that having you by her side was really conducive to developing your painting skills, so she was afraid of delaying your growth, so she continued to keep you there."

Bian Chang curled up again, hugged himself, shed tears, and said, "Why didn't Mom ever say this?"

"You two started to quarrel within three sentences. Do you want to have a good talk?" Zuo Kunmin said, as if remembering something, he asked, "Does your mother know about you being bullied?"

Bian Chang shook his head and said: "I haven't told anyone about this. Aunt Lan still doesn't know that her husband is a beast with a human face and a beastly heart. The reason why I didn't go to my mother's funeral is because I can't face that scumbag." Then he changed his tone and said, "But my sister-in-law seems to know."

"Xiaoxia?" Zuo Kunmin frowned and asked, "How did she know?"

"My sister-in-law discovered that I had self-harmed for six consecutive years. She took me to treatment whenever she had time and bought me relevant books to read. In the suicide note that my sister-in-law left for me, she repeatedly told me to take good treatment and get out of that shadow."

The air suddenly fell silent, and neither of them spoke, each lost in thought.

"Tell me, how can I help you?"

After wiping his tears and snot, Bian Chang choked and said: "You don't have to be so nervous. My mental state is much better now. When I first mentioned this matter, I couldn't control myself at all. I hit my head against the wall hard, opened the window and wanted to jump off the building." After several years of psychological treatment and self-regulation, I am now basically normal."

Zuo Kunmin lowered his head silently and sighed: "There are some injuries that cannot be truly forgiven. You resented your mother for sending you out, but I always wanted to escape from that home."

"Mom, Dad, Grandpa and Grandma, so many people are taking care of you, and you're still not satisfied?" Bian Chang asked.

"Alas!" Zuo Kunmin sighed deeply and said, "You don't know how controlling and demanding my grandpa and grandma are. My parents never cared about me. I started attending boarding kindergarten when I was four years old. I once I feel like everything in this world is cold.”

"Grandpa is a famous calligrapher and grandma is a professor of literature. They are both high-level intellectuals. How could this happen?"

Zuo Kunmin raised his head, with sadness in his eyes, and said: "I have lived with my grandparents since I was three years old. I have to get up at five o'clock every morning. If I stay in bed or act bad, my grandpa or grandma will use a small bamboo stick to beat me hard. Beat me. When I didn't meet my grandfather's requirements when I practiced calligraphy, my grandfather would hit me hard on the palm of my hand with a ruler. I didn't recite the "Disciple Rules" within the specified time, so my grandmother punished me to stand under the scorching sun and didn't give me food. Now I Now that I have children, I can say with certainty that if becoming a talented person has to pay such a high price, I would rather they be an ordinary person."

Bian Chang said: "Maybe my sister-in-law is right. Mom may have discovered a problem in you, and then went to the other extreme. She sent me to an artist friend and completely ignored me."

……

They talked a lot in detail about their own pain, growth experiences, memories about their parents, etc., until their emotions became stable. Zuo Kunmin stood up and said, "It's getting late. I'll call them down."

"Okay!" Bian Chang also stood up and said, "I'm going to the bathroom."

It was already past 10 o'clock. Zuo Kunmin went upstairs without wearing a coat or changing shoes. He knocked on the door twice. After a while, Aunt Liu opened the door and said out of the way: "Mr. Zuo, please come in quickly."

He took a few steps to the living room and saw them all on the sofa. Liu Xiaochen was sitting in the middle of the sofa, with Zuo Xu on one side and Zuo Yan on the other.

Zuo Xu rested on Liu Xiaochen's legs, curled up and fell asleep, covered with Liu Xiaochen's white down jacket. Zuo Yan was leaning on Liu Xiaochen, yawning and watching TV. At this time, the Spring Festival Gala opera program was playing.

Shen Liang was sitting on the corner of the sofa, holding his mobile phone and playing games.

Zuo Kunmin approached and said, "Let's go home." He squatted down and stretched out his arms to hug Zuo Xu.

At this time, Aunt Liu came over, holding the children's clothes and shoes in her hand, and said: "Hurry and put them on, don't catch a cold."

Liu Xiaochen took the clothes and said: "Teacher Zuo, just let Xiaoxu wrap my clothes. Don't wake him up." While saying this, he helped Zuo Yan get dressed.

"Xiaoxiao, bring Xiaoxu's clothes and you put on your coat." Zuo Kunmin said, holding up Liu Xiaochen's down jacket and handing it to her.

"Nuo, wear mine." Shen Liang left the living room at some unknown time and suddenly held a military green men's jacket in his hand. He put it directly on Liu Xiaochen and said, "You are just sick. I don't want to serve you anymore." .”

Liu Xiaochen looked at Zuo Kunmin unconsciously. He just turned around and turned his back to her.

Zuo Kunmin wrapped his white down jacket around Zuo Xu again, picked up Zuo Xu, and walked out the door.

Liu Xiaochen quickly put on Shen Liang's jacket and said, "Thank you." Then he pulled Zuo Yan and Zuo Xu's clothes and followed him out.