One big and one small are practicing love

"Teacher Zuo, I'm taking the children to Aunt Liu's house." Liu Xiaochen called softly through the door.

Zuo Kunmin sat by the bed, his eyes red, looking at Bian Chang who was crying muffledly and trembling all over. Hearing the shout outside the door, I took two deep breaths and squeezed out the word "Okay!"

The sound of rustling clothes, whispers, footsteps, and the sound of "Peng" closing the iron door came from outside the door. Bian Chang said "Wow" and cried loudly like a child, heartbreaking.

Hearing the cry, Zuo Kunmin gritted his teeth and burst into tears. He stretched out his arms to take Bian Chang into his arms, and patted her back again and again as if coaxing a child.

Bian Chang pulled Zuo Kunmin's clothes hard with both hands, saying 'Ah! ’ shouted.

There were bursts of "cracking" firecrackers outside the house. The sound of "dong~dah" cannons is heard near and far away. Children are playing, shouting... everyone is exorcising, celebrating, expressing, venting.

This night, the air was pure, as if a big wave came from the sky, taking away all the bad, rotten, evil...all the bad things.

After an unknown amount of time, Bian Chang's crying gradually became weaker, his body trembling became smaller and smaller, and he slowly sat up from Zuo Kunmin's arms.

"I'll get you a glass of water." Zuo Kunmin said in a mute voice, then stood up and went out.

Zuo Kunmin went to the bathroom outside to wash his face, soaked a white towel with hot water, wrung it out, and poured a glass of warm water. Then, holding a warm towel in one hand and a water glass in the other, he came to the master bedroom again.

"Wipe your face." Zuo Kunmin handed the towel to Bian Chang. She covered her face with the towel. After a while, she took it off and wiped her face and neck.

After Zuo Kunmin took the towel, he handed over the water glass and drank quickly. Zuo Kunmin hurriedly said: "Slow down."

Still because he drank too fast, Bian Chang choked and coughed violently. Zuo Kunmin took the water glass and hurriedly reached for the tissues on the bedside table. He just took out a tissue and was about to hand it to Bian Chang when he saw her wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

"Not girly."

Bian Chang's tears instantly flowed out again. Zuo Kunmin quickly wiped Bian Chang's tears with a tissue and said, "Okay, I won't talk about you anymore. You can do whatever you like."

"In the past, Bian Lingyue always said this about me." Bian Chang said, pulling Zuo Kunmin's hand away.

Taking a deep breath, Bian Chang said slowly: "I like to see her angry and anxious about me. So the more she makes me ladylike, the more bohemian I am. If she doesn't let me dye my hair, I will bleach it in a color that will give her a headache when she sees it. She paints Western paintings, but I want to learn Chinese painting. After a long time, I don’t even know what I like and what it should be like.”

Zuo Kunmin sighed deeply and said calmly: "I used to think the same as you. Whenever I was confused, anxious, made mistakes, especially when I realized that there were flaws in my character that were difficult to change. I would think about my family of origin. , Problems with the growing environment. Heredity, restraint, not understanding, not treating me the way I want, etc. It wasn’t until Xiao Xu that I changed my mind." At this point, Zuo Kunmin stopped and settled. He looked at Bian Chang steadily.

Bian Chang nodded heavily and said, "You tell me, I want to hear it."

"I found that even the relationship that is supposed to be love requires deep understanding and various conditions." Zuo Kunmin said, his eyes red.

After a moment of silence, Zuo Kunmin continued: "Yanyan is frail and sick, Xiaoxu is naughty and disobedient, and I am busy and tired. We have our own difficulties and limitations, and when we are together, there will inevitably be a lot of friction, emotions, mutual incomprehension, and blame. Wait, they even cover up the truth that we love each other. I remember two or three years ago, I had a fight with my mother because of the issue of taking care of Yanyan. She told me in tears that I just needed her, not loved her. ." At this point, Zuo Kunmin choked up and stopped crying.

Bian Chang took out two tissues, handed one to Zuo Kunmin, and used one to wipe his tears.

After taking a few deep breaths and gradually calming down, Zuo Kunmin continued: "In the first half of last year, I traveled a lot on business and didn't go home once for a month or two. One day I was sleeping at home and suddenly heard a movement at night and opened my eyes to see me The bedroom door opened, and when I got up to close it, I found my mother standing at the door looking at me. I didn't take it seriously and let her go back to sleep. Then one night, I found my mother standing at the door of my bedroom again, and I pretended to sleep. It took about half an hour for my mother to leave."

Bian Chang took out a few more tissues and handed them to Zuo Kunmin, saying, "I never saw you crying like this at Bian Lingyue's funeral."

"I can now say with certainty and confidence that I really love my mother. I not only need her, but she also loves us very much. This answer requires a long time, a lot of experience, a lot of pain and reflection , to truly confirm.”

"Mom loves you, that's for sure. Loves me?" Bian Chang said, his tone became contemptuous, and said, "I didn't realize it."

Zuo Kunmin touched Bian Chang's head lovingly and said, "Changchang, you always blame your mother for sending you out when you were a child. Do you know why?"

"She is a person who loves herself and freedom more than anything else."