Life is more than just living

Early the next morning, grandma was still very uneasy and urged Chen Xu to return to the unit quickly. She said that Zhang Yong was a desperado. He used to work as a thug for a private mine owner and was even willing to risk his own life. There was nothing he dared not do. Chen Xu didn't sleep well last night and was a little sleepy now. It was rare for her to stay in bed, so she said to her grandma, "I'll sleep a little longer."

It was already past ten in the morning when Chen Xu woke up. When he got up, he saw that his grandma had not eaten breakfast. So Chen Xu yawned and said, "It seems you can only eat two meals today." Then he started to make breakfast. It was already past twelve o'clock when the two of them finished eating. After a while, Grandma Liu came to visit, and she said to Grandma Chen in a mysterious and low voice: "That Xiaoyong next door to you is back, did you know?" Grandma Chen nodded and said she saw her yesterday.

Grandma Liu gossiped again: "I wonder if this kid has been reformed inside? Well, now I have to take care of my own things. I heard that he was caught stealing things back then." Grandma Chen smiled bitterly and said: "We are like this I don’t have anything valuable, so I’m not afraid of it being stolen.” Grandma Liu said again: “You said such a big boy was about to celebrate the New Year, so let him go. He has no money and no New Year’s goods, so he might end up committing trouble. Son. If he doesn’t steal, what will he eat during the Chinese New Year?”

Chen Xu felt disgusted after hearing what Grandma Liu said. Although Zhang Yong was a mess and not a gentleman, Zhang Yong was also a proud person and had always disdained petty theft. In all these years, he has never stolen anything from his neighbors. Although Chen Xu was dissatisfied, she did not argue. Because it is unwise to speak for Zhang Yong in front of Grandma Liu.

In the afternoon, Chen Xu was ready to return to his work. She asked her grandma to take good care of herself, and also asked Grandma Liu to take more care of her grandma. After saying that, he put on his coat and walked out of the house. Just walking not far away, I met Zhang Yong coming back from shopping. Seeing Chen Xu, Zhang Yong stopped awkwardly. He looked at Chen Xu as if he wanted to say something. Seeing that Chen Xu ignored him, he had to turn around silently and look at Chen Xu in a daze. Chen Xu ignored Zhang Yong and walked forward. After walking for a while, he looked back and saw that Zhang Yong was holding a bag of things in his hand and was still looking at the direction she left.

Chen Xu stood there, hesitated for a moment, and walked towards Zhang Yong. When Zhang Yong saw it, he suddenly realized that Chen Xu was coming towards him, and he quickly ran towards Chen Xu. Chen Xu said, "Follow me." As he said that, he led him to a small restaurant on the roadside. Chen Xu's clothes are very clean, but they don't match the environment here. Zhang Yong quickly took out a few pieces of paper from the napkin box on the table and wiped the chairs and the edge of the dining table vigorously. Chen Xu sat down, and Zhang Yong sat opposite her with some anxiety. There are no waiters in the snack bar. Anyone who wants to eat has to go to the kitchen window and ask for what they want.

Chen Xu looked at the plastic shopping bag Zhang Yong put on the table. It contained an electric cooking pot, a few handfuls of noodles, and a bag of salt. Chen Xu frowned, "You only eat this?" Zhang Yong scratched his head, "It would be good to eat some." Chen Xu asked him again: "What did you eat yesterday?" Zhang Yong lowered his head and said, "What's at home?" None, I didn’t eat yesterday.” Chen Xu glared at him with hatred, “Then why didn’t you buy something to eat yesterday?” Zhang Yong lowered his head and said, “Yesterday I was pulling weeds and cleaning up the yard, and the next day It’s dark, there are no street lights, and I can’t find a place to go out.”

Chen Xu asked again like he was interrogating a prisoner, "Then why are you going out now? What about morning and noon? Didn't you eat?" Zhang Yong lowered his head and said, "I'm very hungry, and I don't feel very hungry at all." As he spoke, his stomach A series of unsatisfactory grunts. Zhang Yong was a little ashamed.

Chen Xu shouted, "Boss, what's the fastest here?" The owner of the snack bar poked his head in and said, "Wontons! Wontons and scallion pancakes are the fastest." Chen Xu said, "Bring a big bowl of wontons and give it to him." Here are two scallion pancakes." The boss agreed and brought the food over in more than ten minutes. Chen Xu took out his wallet from the bag he was carrying, but Zhang Yong quickly stopped him and said, "I have money." As he took out the money from his pocket, Chen Xu saw that there were only four 100 bills and some change. . Zhang Yong insisted that he paid the money. The wonton soup was very hot, but Zhang Yong quickly ate two cakes and a bowl of wontons, and even drank the soup. Chen Xu was helpless, just saying he wasn't hungry.

After eating, Zhang Yong burped and glanced at Chen Xu sheepishly. Chen Xu looked at him, "Zhang Yong, I've always wanted to ask you, why did you go to jail? Why didn't you make it clear that those things were not stolen by you?" Zhang Yong lowered his head and said, "Forget it, don't ask, after all these years It's all over." Chen Xu said angrily: "Why are you pretending to be a hero here? Are you thinking about the glory of those years of fighting and killing, or are you thinking about moving yourself?"

Zhang Yong lowered his head for a while and then said: "My life is not valuable, and it is not the same anywhere. You know, I am lucky enough to live until now. The person who went to pick me up from the prison yesterday told me that my life was worthless. The buddies who worked together to protect the mine are now dead and disabled, and there are not many left. I have saved my life in prison these years. But there is not much difference between living and dead for people like me, no one I don’t care about my life or death. If you have no family, no job, no one to love you, why don’t you give others the chance to live a good life."

Chen Xu looked at Zhang Yong speechless for a long time, then she stood up and prepared to leave. At this time, Zhang Yong suddenly became afraid. He was afraid that he would never have the chance to talk to Chen Xu again. He quickly shouted: "Chen Xu." Chen Xu looked at him, Zhang Yong raised his head and looked up at Chen Xu, "Sit down first, I will tell you everything." Chen Xu glanced at him and sat down. Zhang Yong said: "Actually, I know it was your grandma who sued me. Because the boss who collects scraps can't do this. He can make a lot of money here! Your grandma was the only one who saw me selling cables that day. I understand, she I just want to vent my anger on Wang Yu and please your aunt. In fact, it’s quite shameful for me to go in under the name of a thief. Ordinarily, if they sue me for beating Wang Yu, I will have to be sentenced. Or you won’t withdraw the case. , my sentence is not necessarily less than my current age. So what is the difference to me? The police arrested me and asked me to return the stolen money, but I had already given the money to Teacher Lin. If the police knew that the money was in Lin Teacher, I will definitely go to Teacher Lin to recover the money. Teacher Lin will be innocent all his life. I can’t harm Teacher Lin. Besides, if Teacher Lin has no money, how can I save Lin Zhiyuan? There is another reason, I I could have told the truth and said that Li Jinzhu paid my debt for the cable. But Li Jinzhu was arrested for gambling and was imprisoned with me. He cried and begged me that his wife was about to give birth and would not let me give him away. I At that time, I thought that it was a crime to sell stolen goods anyway, and I confessed my crime in a moment of weakness. To be honest, I didn’t expect that I would be sentenced to more than ten years for being a good guy.”

Chen Xu sighed. She didn't hate Zhang Yong for ruining her innocence, but at the same time, she felt that it was not worth sitting in jail for more than ten years for him. She felt very complicated. Zhang Yong paused for a long time, and finally plucked up the courage to say: "Chen Xu, I'm sorry! The person I'm most sorry for is you! I was such a bastard at that time. It was clear that I had no tomorrow at that time, and I ruined you. I think you are unloved and have no future. I think you are just like me, just hang out together. I made a plan at that time. If we have money in the future, we will spend it and take it one day at a time. I didn't expect to get in so quickly." Chen Xu suddenly laughed mockingly, "You have no confidence in your own future, and you actually thought about giving me a future?" Zhang Yong lowered his head and said, "I know I It's useless to say anything now, and the past can't be changed. But actually I just want to tell you, I didn't bully you because you were easy to bully. I liked you quite a lot at that time. I haven't read much about it either. The book is a bit unclear. No matter what I say now, it will be of no use anyway. Now, you can hit or scold me, as long as you vent your anger."

Chen Xu looked at the top of Zhang Yong's head and said, "Zhang Yong, raise your head and look at me!" Zhang Yong raised his head and looked at Chen Xu with some confusion. Chen Xu said: "The person you are most sorry for is not me, the person you are most sorry for is Teacher Lin. Because you sold stolen goods, Teacher Lin got angry and lost his life." Zhang Yong opened his mouth, unable to accept this fact. Chen Xu took a few deep breaths before continuing: "After Teacher Lin knew that you were arrested, she thought you had really stolen something to raise money for Lin Zhiyuan. At that time, the money had already been sent to the person who was beaten by a middleman. Teacher Lin She couldn't get the money to return the stolen money for a while, so she blamed herself, thinking that she and Lin Zhiyuan had harmed you. She fainted in anger and was sent to the hospital. Because she had no money, she couldn't get rescued in time. That's what Teacher Lin did A life was lost!”

After many years, Chen Xu couldn't help crying again when talking about Lin Pei. She wiped her tears and continued to accuse, "You are sorry for yourself! You were born to your parents. You don't cherish life and fight without your life. You still think you are a hero! You can count for yourself how many times you have been in trouble. ?Stayed there for more than ten years. One thing you said is right, life is really boring for people like you. Can you deserve Teacher Lin's sympathy for living like this? Her own son was arrested Although she was anxious and looking for solutions everywhere, she was not anxious to death! On the contrary, it was you. She felt that she had caused you trouble. It was you who caused her to lose her life! You and Lin Zhiyuan, the two of you, teamed up to kill Teacher Lin. , both of you are murderers! Teacher Lin often teaches me: People are extremely lucky to be born in this world, and they should live well and cherish life. Today I will relay this to you, because you are only in your 30s. , if you stop committing crimes, you will still have a good life for decades in the future, so you can take care of yourself!" With that said, Chen Xu stood up and walked out without looking back.

Zhang Yong suddenly covered his face and burst into tears. The boss and the wife of the snack bar looked outside in confusion. Because it was not meal time at this time, there was no one else. Zhang Yong cried bitterly in this warm little shop, then took his bag and went home.

Zhang Yong was full and felt less cold. He picked up a broken broom that had not been used for many years and began to clean the house seriously. Today I went out to find a small store and bought some things. Looking at the high-rise buildings around me, Zhang Yong felt as if he had been in the mountains for a few days and had been on the ground for thousands of years. I have been in prison for ten years. After I came out, if the old houses in this area were not still there, I would really doubt that I was having a dream. He has lived in confusion all his life, and now he seems to be a person eliminated by the times. He suddenly felt disgusted with his old life of fighting and killing.