Life is more than just living

Chen Xu still slept on the bed in the hut at night, and those dusty past events suddenly broke the seal with Zhang Yong's return and suddenly became alive.

Speaking of the relationship with Zhang Yong, it first originated from the time when Chen Xu was thrown outside the hotel door by his grandmother. Chen Xu cried and went into the restaurant to look for his mother, but was kicked out by the proprietress. The proprietress knew her because her grandma had brought her here before. The fat woman said harshly: "This little brat is here again. Your mother is no longer here. Don't come here anymore. Otherwise, I'm not polite. Don't think that I won't beat you because of your ego!"

Chen Xu wanted to catch up with grandma at this time, but when she came out of the restaurant, there was no sign of grandma anywhere? Chen Xu was only five years old at the time, probably about four years old. She was crying and running around looking for her grandma, but no matter which direction she ran, she couldn't find her. Later she got tired and walked aimlessly on the street. She remembered that her grandma brought her out after breakfast. She was tired and hungry after walking for a day. The sun had set, and Chen Xu was still walking weakly on the road. She was too tired to cry. At this time, Zhang Yong walked out of a video hall. At that time, Zhang Yong had just graduated from junior high school and had not been admitted to high school, so he was wandering around the society. At that time, Hong Kong and Taiwan films were very popular. Zhang Yong was more interested in these and spent all day in the video studio.

Zhang Yong came out of the video hall and suddenly noticed a little girl in front of him. She looked familiar. He walked over and saw that she was a neighbor's child. He walked over and asked her, "Hey, aren't you little Chen Xu? What are you doing here?" As soon as Chen Xu saw him, it was like seeing a relative. After walking for a day, she finally met a familiar face, and she Don't let go of Zhang Yong's thigh. Zhang Yong smiled when he saw this situation and said, "Little girl, you are running around by yourself and can't find home, right? Come, I will take you back." As he said that, he took Chen Xu's hand and walked back.

Zhang Yong went to a small shop on the roadside and bought two loaves of bread and a bottle of Wahaha. He sat under the street lamp, ate a loaf of bread himself, gave one to Chen Xu, and put a straw on the Wahaha and handed it to Chen Xu. After Chen Xu wolfed down the bread, Zhang Yong wanted to lead her to continue walking, only to find that Chen Xu's feet were awkward when walking. Zhang Yong took off her shoes to find out what was going on. He couldn't see clearly under the street light, so he took out a lighter and lit it to take a closer look. It turned out that Chen Xu had blisters on her little feet. He cursed, carefully put on Chen Xu's shoes, then reached out to pick her up and walked back. After walking a long way, he couldn't hold her anymore, so he put her on the ground and said, "Come on, let me carry you, my arms are sore." Then he carried Chen Xu all the way home, talking on the way , "Little girl, you know how powerful you are this time, right? Don't run around next time. If you get lost, you won't be able to go home if you meet a bad guy. They might sell you somewhere!" Chen Xu put his arms around Zhang Yong. neck, at this moment, she felt that brother Xiaoyong was the best person in the world.

After Chen Xu's grandmother sent Chen Xu away, she thought she had gotten rid of the burden. Unexpectedly, there was a knock on the door in the middle of the night. Zhang Yong kept shouting "open the door" outside. The grandmother opened the door without knowing why and found that he was carrying Chen Xu, Zhang Yong put Chen Xu down from his back and said to Grandma Chen, "This child is missing, why don't you look for it?" After saying that, he put Chen Xu in the door, and then reached out to help them open the door. He took it with him and went back yawning.

From then on, when Chen Xu saw Zhang Yong, he felt that he was very kind. He took the initiative to say hello and called "Brother Xiaoyong" every time, because at that time, the neighbors called Zhang Yong Xiaoyong. Later, when Chen Xu and her grandma were picking up scraps in the garbage dump, Liu Jiaxin and her classmates often threw stones at Chen Xu when they passed by. Zhang Yong would scare Liu Jiaxin and drive them away when they met. Grandma has accumulated a lot of waste products at home, and she will only sell them if she has enough to fill a cart. She laboriously loaded all the scraps on the cart borrowed from the scrap collection station. When Zhang Yong saw it, he would help push it to the collection station. At that time, Zhang Yong was a good person in Chen Xu's mind.

Zhang Yong was often arrested by the police station for fighting, and he became a frequent visitor to the detention center. In the beginning, Chen Xu was very close to Zhang Yong and regarded him as his elder brother. Later, Zhang Yong was arrested and sentenced, and spent more than a year in prison. Chen Xu changed her goal. In her heart, she envied Cheng Baobao for having a successful brother. Cheng Cheng loves his sister so much that Chen Xu suddenly imagined himself as a baby to enjoy Cheng Cheng's love.

It wasn't until she was about to enter sixth grade that Zhang Yong was released again. When he came back, Chen Xu was still happy to see him and called him "Brother Xiaoyong". One day, Chen Xu was molested by several hooligans when she was out of school. Some of them pinched Chen Xu's face, while others touched her body. Chen Xu was surrounded in the middle and had no way to escape. At this time, Zhang Yong seemed to fall from the sky, shouted loudly, punched and kicked those little ruffians, and beat them away. At that time, Chen Xu burst into tears of gratitude. Zhang Yong walked back with her, scolding her all the way, "Why don't you go home quickly after school? Why are you wandering around on the road?" Chen Xu whispered: "I just wanted to avoid them, but I never thought about it. They always want to They bully me, so I take a long detour every day. I accidentally bumped into them today, and I can't do anything about it." Zhang Yong said, "Whoever dares to bully you again in the future, just mention my name." Chen Xuman Nodding in admiration.

When he was almost at the door of his house, Zhang Yong turned around and asked Chen Xu, "How old are you this year?" Chen Xu lowered his head and said, "I'm 15." Zhang Yong smiled and said, "No wonder you are starting to attract attention now, you are already 15 years old." She is so tall, she looks like a big girl." As he said that, he opened the door of his house and walked in. Chen Xu smiled from behind.

One day not long after, Zhang Yong came back and met Chen Xu going out to take out the trash. Chen Xu saw that Zhang Yong had injuries on his face, the corners of his eyes were broken, and the corners of his mouth were bleeding. Chen Xu quickly asked: "Brother Xiaoyong, what's wrong with you?" Zhang Yong waved his hands casually and said: "It's okay, I had a fight with someone and I won't die." His leg was a little lame and he was holding a A bag with some medicine inside. He looked at Chen Xu and said, "Chen Xu, please give me some medicine!"

Chen Xu followed Zhang Yong to his home without any grudge. Chen Xu was very surprised when he saw Zhang Yong's naked upper body. The skin on it was covered in scars, with new injuries covering the old ones. Chen Xu was stunned. After she helped Zhang Yong apply the medicine, she said, "Brother Xiaoyong, please stop fighting. Your body is covered with injuries." She cried as she spoke. Zhang Yong was smoking a cigarette and asked jokingly: "Why, you feel sorry for me?" Chen Xu nodded.

Chen Xu never expected that Zhang Yong suddenly threw away the cigarette like a madman and threw her on the kang. Chen Xu's back and head were hit with pain. She didn't know what happened. Thinking about it, Zhang Yong held him down again. Chen Xu suddenly felt that this was wrong, but she couldn't break free, and just like that, it was the first time that she was taken away in such a humiliating way. This time, Chen Xu not only felt pain in her body, but also in her heart. Zhang Yong's image collapsed in her heart. From then on, Zhang Yong worked harder to help his grandma. He was a little disappointed when Chen Xu felt disgusted and no longer called him brother Xiaoyong affectionately.

Chen Xu vaguely felt that this was wrong, but she didn't know who to talk to or how to get rid of it. Sometimes Zhang Yong would go to see his grandma when she wasn't there. If she didn't go, Zhang Yong would pull her away unceremoniously. He even threatened her once and said, "Your heart is getting bigger and bigger. Do you want to die? If you If you want to die, I can satisfy you, but if you dare to make me unhappy again, I will kill you and your grandma!"

Chen Xu didn't dare to resist or speak more, but as she grew up, she felt more and more that this kind of thing was wrong. She tried to tell the teacher several times but hesitated because she was afraid of the teacher. I feel dirty. So one time she followed Cheng Baobao and her brother and sister to seek help from Cheng Cheng. But something happened later and Zhang Yong beat Wang Yu for her. She regretted calling the police again, so she went to the Public Security Bureau to withdraw the case. When Zhang Yong was sentenced to 13 years for the cable incident, she still couldn't figure out why Zhang Yong didn't tell the truth when it was clearly not Zhang Yong's fault. She felt very sorry for him at the time.

In the years that followed, Chen Xu sometimes thought of Zhang Yong. When Zhang Yong was not around, she missed him more, but once he came back, she felt that her purity was destroyed by Zhang Yong. , I cannot forgive him without principle. That night, Chen Xu couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in bed and couldn't sleep all night.

Zhang Yong couldn't sleep either, so he leaned against the wall. He knew that Chen Xu must live next door. Chen Xu lived in this small house back then. Zhang Yong was still very cold even though he was wearing several layers of clothes. He used a small electric stove to keep warm. He found this electric stove after rummaging through boxes and cabinets. He remembered the past. After more than ten years in prison, he slowly and passively learned some laws, and knew that what he did to Chen Xu was illegal. He even knew that Chen Xu had gone to the Public Security Bureau to report him, because a pre-trial officer had mentioned this matter when he wanted to consolidate the case. Another police officer reminded him that the girl had dropped the case. Zhang Yong knew from the beginning that Chen Xu was not willing, he forced her, but he usually ignored this. He always felt that Chen Xu liked him. But what he didn't understand was that since Chen Xu had reported the case, why did he withdraw the case? Although he was also tortured to extract a confession, he never admitted that he was raped. Because there was no testimony from Chen Xu, he was not charged with this crime later.

In prison, Zhang Yong sometimes thought of Chen Xu and the scene where she was glaring at him reluctantly under him. He even wondered if Chen Xu would be criticized by her husband when she got married because she lost her first time. If you are discriminated against, will you be beaten? But today when he saw Chen Xu, Chen Xu did not look timid, but stood calmly in front of him. At that moment, Zhang Yong felt ashamed. He couldn't hold his head high in front of Chen Xu. He thought about how he had prided himself on being righteous in front of his brothers. Looking back now, bullying a defenseless little girl didn't count. How about righteousness? At that time, he demonstrated bullying in a vivid way. Now, he feels very sorry for Chen Xu. He wants to say "I'm sorry", but he finds it difficult to say it. The damage caused can be easily erased with just an apology.