Mad Elf's Diary of a Scumbag

"Whoa! Whoa!"

Lance raised his fingers, flicked Marina's head lightly and said:

"At a young age, I learned how to threaten people without any teacher!"

"Hmm~, bad uncle, just tell me a story. Mom will tell the story about a disobedient child who was eaten by a big bad wolf."

Marina took Lance's arm, twisted her body and said coquettishly:

"Mom said it's interesting when you tell stories, so tell me one!"

"Please bad uncle, uh~! uh~!"

"Okay, please stop yelling. Why don't you let me tell you? Your mother will hear you later and misunderstand you."

Lance tentatively twisted his waist and found that the soreness had faded a lot, so he took Marina's little hand and said:

"It's not convenient here, and uncle still has things to do. Come with me, and I'll tell you as I go."

"Once upon a time, there was a big bad wolf."

"Don't listen, I don't want to listen to fairy tales, I'm not a child anymore!"

"Okay, let's change it. Once upon a time, there was a proud general."

"If you don't listen, bad uncle, you will fool me, just like my mother, hum!"

Marina stamped her feet and stood there, refusing to move no matter how much Lance pulled her.

"Well, lovely Marina, what story do you want to hear?"

"I want to listen to the heroic epic!"

Speaking of this, Marina's eyes flashed with sparkles, and her face was filled with longing for that era.

"Uncle Bad, aren't you a veteran who has participated in the war to eliminate demons? Tell me your story during the war!"

"That's too long. I can only choose one paragraph to tell you."

"That's okay, but it must be exciting!"

"Wonderful? Okay."

Lance looked at the surrounding scenery and said:

"Then let me tell you how the Demon Palace, the city lord's palace, was captured in the first place!"

"Okay, okay, this is my favorite part!"

Marina danced happily, opened her arms and gestured:

"The coalition's siege ram struck for seven full days and nights before the gate of the Demon Palace collapsed."

"When everyone's cheers just started, I saw a burly demon warrior striding out with a giant sword in his hand. He shouted angrily, "Who dares to fight with me!"

"That demon warrior is really brave, with a green face and fangs, four heads and eight arms, eight feet tall, and an eight-foot waist!"

"Stop, stop, stop, the more you talk, the more outrageous you are. Is that a human being you are talking about? Where did you hear this? Also, do you say it or do I?"

"But that's what everyone says!"

Marina, who was interrupted by Lance, looked dissatisfied:

"Then tell me, what was the situation at that time?"

"First, correct a few of your mistakes."

Lance coughed slightly and said:

"It was already the end of the Demon Slayer War, and the Lord of the Demon Realm, Satan Lucifer, fled without a fight."

"Except for the beauties he collected, there are only a few hundred soldiers left in this palace."

"Otherwise, how could the buildings here be so well maintained?"

As he spoke, Lance patted the pillar next to him twice and said:

"See, the paint isn't even peeling off!"

"But didn't the book say that the attack lasted seven days and seven nights? There was also a powerful demon warrior who could breathe fire, control water, and spit poisonous mist!"

When Marina saw that Lance was downplaying the matter, she thought he was lying to her, so she argued unconvinced.

"At that time, everyone in the Demon Clan was in panic, and everyone knew it was the end of the road. When we arrived, the city gate was not even closed. As for the Demon Clan warrior you mentioned?"

Lance flicked his chin, recalled something and said:

"The demon clan's famous generals have all been killed long ago. Where did the demon clan's strong generals come from?"

"Oh, I remembered. At that time, there was a stupid man from the Demon Tribe. He stood in front of the city gate and said that he would be loyal to the Lord of the Demon Realm. He named Liszt and challenged him to a duel."

"I know this. The two fought for three days and three nights. In the end, the demon warrior missed a move and was killed by City Lord Liszt with a sword!"

Marina raised her little hands, as if waiting for praise from adults.

"No way, everyone was busy grabbing money and women at that time, who had time to pay attention to him?"

"Everyone rushed in on horseback with a crash. I heard that the people who cleaned up the battlefield later didn't even use shovels to scoop him up."

"Hmph! What's so exciting about what you said? According to what you said, the demons are all useless!"

"It will take the Alliance of Light ten years to fight! I can take care of them all by myself! Humph!"

Marina reached out her hand angrily and slapped Lance several times in dissatisfaction.

Lance smiled, picked up the angry Marina, kissed her hard on the face and said:

"The most brutal battle at that time had been fought. Although there were still 10,000+ remaining demon soldiers, most of them didn't even have armor or weapons."

"Get a brick and rush up to fight us. Do you see this bullet hole?"

Lance suddenly stopped and pointed to the pillar on the right. There was a dark hole on it.

"When Satan Lucifer ran away, he didn't even care about his youngest son."

"The kid is about the same age as you, with a big head and a big head. He was hiding behind this pillar at that time."

Lance described the little boy's appearance and the scene at that time, waiting for Marina to become interested in him.

Lance's tone suddenly changed,

"When I passed by, he suddenly jumped out and attacked me with a dagger. I shot him in the chest and nailed him to this pillar."

"The look in his eyes at that time was so vicious and malicious!"

"Snapped!"

Having said this, Lance suddenly slapped the pillar hard with his hand.

Marina was suddenly frightened and shivered, and quickly shrank into Lance's arms.

Lance's neck was hugged tightly by Marina's slender arms.

Feeling the beating of Marina's heart in her chest, Lance lowered his head and sniffed her neck gently with his nose.

The fresh fragrance of Marina's body immediately filled her nose.

"Young boy? You dare to threaten me, but I can't cure you?"

"Collect some interest now, and when you grow up, hey hey hey!"

As he thought about it, the expression on Lance's face began to change again.

"Hmph! Bad uncle! You just know how to scare me. I don't want to play with you anymore. Let me down!"

Marina struggled twice in Lance's arms, and ran away without looking back after landing.

"Children should listen to fairy tales and heroic epics?"

When Marina's back disappeared, Lance turned to look at the dark hole of the gun, and his eyes couldn't help but become gloomy.

"Satan will come back!"

The little boy's mouth was bleeding, and his face was full of madness.

"One day, Satan's army will step into this world again and drive you all away!"

Yes, in the later stages of the war against demons, all the cities and weapons workshops were lost as the demon army retreated.

Those 10,000+ remnant soldiers are not even equipped with weapons.

But they buckled down the bricks, picked up the stones, and dared to charge against the coalition forces.

Even with fists, teeth, and the stumps of compatriots who died in battle!

When the coalition forces of the Alliance of Light arrived here, there were only a few hundred disabled soldiers with missing arms and legs left in the palace.

The bare-chested one-armed man slowly walked out of the crowd, holding a dark dagger in his hand.

"Liszt, come up and fight!"