1987: Sleepless Tonight

"It's all small problems, but conflicts will indeed arise. At this time, if you encounter sand in your eyes and a relatively broken mouth, you may mutter several times a day, and at the end of muttering, conflicts will erupt. .”

"One feels that his muttering is dry, but the other party doesn't change it, and is very angry. The other feels that little things are always being muttered, and is also very annoyed, which eventually leads to conflicts."

Lu Hao has encountered many such cases in his previous life, especially when his personal thoughts are prominent and no one is willing to accommodate others, the conflict will intensify.

"Is it reasonable to throw things around?" Su Min glanced at Lu Hao.

"My clothes are for washing, so I just throw them away casually, and they will always be put away and put into the washing machine." Lu Hao said.

"I don't care about the laundry that needs to be washed? Don't throw it around, it's all dirty." Su Min said.

"You're right." Lu Hao nodded, "So after you said it several times, I stopped throwing it around. If I know my mistakes, I will correct them. There is nothing good about it."

Hearing Lu Hao's words, Su Min glared at him and smiled.

"So, like brother-in-law and sister, you often quarrel, and if you are unfamiliar, it will be even more quarreling." Su Jin said, "And it's not easy to reconcile, so it's better to go outside after getting married. It would be better to have a place to live.”

"This problem has to involve the situation we just talked about in the car, and we have to look at the problem comprehensively, not just one point." Lu Hao said, "You only see one point now, go outside If you don’t live with your parents-in-law, there will be no conflicts in your living habits, but you haven’t considered that if you get married, you will have to have a baby in most cases, and women hold half the sky, and you must work outside. College students are more likely to work outside, and if both of them work, who will take care of the children?"

"At this time, the parents-in-law will definitely have to take care of them, so I will still live with them, at least during the time when the children are not in school, they will need the help of the parents-in-law to take care of them, so it is inevitable There will be conflicts in some living habits."

"It's the same when it comes to bringing a baby. For example, the parents-in-law chewed up food and fed it to the baby. Surely you can't bear it?"

Many assumptions are ideal situations, but real life is like a gourd in water, when one end is pressed, the other end rises again.

"That must not work, how unhygienic." Su Jin nodded.

"So, you have to find a balance point under various circumstances. You don't want to completely avoid conflicts. Just keep the conflicts to a minimum. Conflicts are inevitable. It's about living habits, including other things. There will be some aspects, but it depends on how to adjust it." Lu Hao said, "At this time, you have to let the object speak, let the object serve as a buffer point to balance the relationship between the two sides, if you say it yourself, it may be It escalated the contradiction."

"However, there is one thing that can be considered in advance now."

"What point?" Su Jin asked.

"For the problem of the house, you can buy the house now." Lu Hao suggested, "When you look for a partner in the future, the partner will definitely not move here to live with your parents. If you move here to live with your parents, no matter whether it is or not The son-in-law who comes to the door will be regarded as the son-in-law who comes to the door, with a dull face, and he will be stared at everywhere in life."

"And you are worried about living in conflict with your in-laws, so you can buy the house first, and then you can find a partner and move in together. You don't need to live with your in-laws or your natal family. Live in your own little home."

"Then you said just now, don't you have to ask your parents-in-law to take care of you after you have a child? This problem is still not resolved." Su Jin asked.

The two discussed these problems in life, and Su Min listened beside them.

"You can buy a suite upstairs, or downstairs, and let the in-laws live there, so that this problem can be solved. During the day, let the in-laws help with the baby, and have their own private space after rest at night, and They live in their own houses, each family takes good care of their belongings, they can eat separately, and they can not disturb each other in terms of living habits," Lu Hao said.

After people's material possessions are guaranteed, as the level of education gets higher, people pursue the meaning of individual existence more, and are less willing to accommodate others to make changes.

At this time, the only way to find a compromise is to make both parties feel comfortable.

It's just that this kind of thinking is rarely understood at the moment.

"Brother-in-law, I admire you more and more. You are not only very good at business, but also very good at dealing with the world, including family relationships." Su Jin said in admiration, "The more you Great, I find it more and more difficult to find a partner in the future.”

"I will use you as a reference, and I want to find someone who is like you, but at present, there are no peers like you around me. You compare."

"Thinking is only after experiencing some things before you will feel and sublimate. If you have been educated before, and the things you have experienced are similar and single, then your thoughts, practices, and sayings will naturally tend to be single. "Lu Hao said, "You spend most of your time in school, you haven't experienced society, you haven't met more things, more people, and you haven't experienced other ideological baptisms. Same opinion."

"It's all normal."

"In a rainforest, there must be a variety of plants, animals, and microorganisms, so that this system can operate and develop better and healthier. The same is true for society. Only when there is an atmosphere that can accommodate different thoughts and different behaviors can we be healthier."

"Our ancestors also said that a hundred schools of thought contend, that there is diversity in biology, and society must also have diversity, so that we can avoid going from one extreme to the other."

He looked at Su Jin, "Whenever you encounter anything in the future, think about what my brother-in-law told you today, nothing is perfect, whether it is people, life, commodities, or thoughts , What we can do is to seek common ground while reserving differences, magnify the advantages and reduce the shortcomings, or absorb the advantages, discard the shortcomings, and correct the shortcomings.”

Nini listened for a while, eyes full of confusion, and finally said, "The world of adults is so complicated, I can't understand what Dad says."

I went to watch TV.

It's a rare opportunity to watch TV, and this girl cherishes it very much.