Beipai Tomb Raiders Notes

"Uncle Cha, don't make fun of me. I did it unintentionally. I'm in trouble now. I'm alone. You have to help me, Uncle Cha."

On the other end of the phone, Cha Hukou sighed and said, "It's not me who helped you, it was you who settled this matter, I don't know what to do, understand? Can humans and monkeys be the same? They are fundamentally different! Your situation is like Changed the cell phone battery into a car battery, it’s not easy to find out, right? I have guests here, hang up first!”

I said anxiously: "If you don't help me! Give me back the 40 yuan!"

"Who said I can't help you? Kid, I'm about to help you. What kind of friendship do we have?"

After checking the account, he hurriedly said: "Now we can only wait for people to react before they realize it. The feng shui atmosphere of the construction site is already messed up. If you don't believe me, you can take a look with the compass. I guarantee that all the compass needles are not accurate."

"Listen, here's what to do."

"You find a white cloth, dye it red with chicken blood, and tie it around the monkey's neck. After 12 o'clock tonight, dig out the corpse and cremate it overnight. In this way, the feng shui of that land will gradually stabilize. After two days , the compass will also become normal."

"To be so troublesome?"

"Uncle Cha, if I put the monkey back, can I run away? I've seen it over there. There is no surveillance camera for miles around. They will definitely not be able to catch me!"

Checking the household registration immediately objected: "If you can run away, the monk can't run away from the temple! Just do as I say, don't take chances, and don't underestimate the Fengshui masters in the capital's boundaries. They can know your true identity after a three-cai hexagram. , did you run away?"

After hanging up the phone, I immediately started to prepare.

An hour later, he saw me coming back from the outside with a live chicken in one hand and a bottle of beer in his hand. He came over and asked, "Why, do you want to eat chicken at night?"

Uncle Liu can't believe it, and neither can Yang Gu. After all, they all have their own little plans, and now I only trust myself.

"Yeah, brother Yang, I'm going to have chicken soup in a stew pot tonight, do you want to have a bowl?" I said with a smile,

He raised his head and took a sip of beer, wiped his mouth: "The chicken soup is free, when are we going to buy a watch?"

"The day after tomorrow! Go the day after tomorrow!" I said hastily.

His face immediately darkened.

"Boy, the day before yesterday you said tomorrow, tomorrow you said the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow you said the day after tomorrow, don't you want to buy me a watch at all?"

"How is it possible, Brother Yang! I will definitely buy it for you!"

He pointed at me with a beer bottle and said in a cold voice: "Boy, you have to see the essence clearly. What you are buying is not a watch, what you are buying is your life! This is essentially a transaction! Understand? I will give it to you again." If you don't buy me a watch in two days, I'll kill you."

"Also, don't try to run away. If you dare to play with me, I won't give you a second chance. I swear by the name of our ancestor's Fallen Leaf Spear. Even if I chase you to the ends of the earth, I will kill you."

I smiled bitterly and said, "Brother Yang, it's just a watch, isn't it?"

"Why not?"

"You don't know how much I love that watch! I sleep at night! I fucking dream about that watch!" He yelled at me with red eyes,

My face changed slightly, and I promised to buy it the day after tomorrow, so he gave up.

I have money in my card, but I dare not go to the bank at all, and I dare not swipe my card to spend, otherwise, it will be easy to be found by haters. The money I got two days ago is almost spent, and I only have a few Thousands of dollars, where can I get more than 100 million to buy him a watch?

Now riding a tiger is hard to get off, if I really complied with that sentence, disaster comes out of my mouth.

I was just talking casually, but the other party took it seriously!Now, we can only take one step at a time.

According to the instructions of the household registration check, I tied a strip of red cloth dyed with chicken blood around the neck of the dead monkey, then stuffed the dead monkey into a box, and finally packed it in a snakeskin bag.

After finishing this, I went to the bottom of an overpass, where there was a shoe repairer.

"Dude, do you mend shoes?"

I whispered, "If you don't mend shoes, get a certificate."

The other party's expression was concentrated, and he whispered: "The recent investigation is strict, what kind of certificate do you want to apply for?"

"Cremation certificate." I said directly.

"Hehe, you don't have a death certificate, do you?"

"Nonsense, I have a proof and I need to ask you for it?"

"No problem, cremation certificate, right? Ordinary 35 yuan, fine-made 85 yuan, super-simulation [-] fast."

I frowned and thought about it, and said something super-simulated.

He took a breath and said, "In your case, just to be on the safe side, I suggest that you make a separate death certificate, and I will engrave the official seal of the police station of the place of household registration on the certificate on the spot. The fee is 70 yuan, a total of [-] yuan." Seven, our first cooperation, I will give you a discount, count as one hundred and fifty."

I quickly gave the money and urged him to do it quickly.

20 years ago, those who issued false certificates under the flyover would not ask questions about this and that, as long as they paid enough, let alone ordinary financial certificates, real estate certificates, divorce certificates, death certificates, etc., even missile launch certificates. You make it.

But I can't guarantee the quality completely, it's all about luck.For example, on Brother Tian's fake certificate, the name should have been Tian Tian, ​​but Tian Tian was made into it.

In less than 10 minutes, the whole set of documents will be ready. I am not familiar with the real documents, so I asked if this is possible?Why do you feel that the words are a little crooked?

The buddy was smoking a cigarette, wiped his hands and said, "Your words are an insult to my technology. This word is upright, where is it crooked? Don't worry about it, as long as I don't go online to check my certificate , no one in the world can see that it is an imitation!"

I went to the crematorium in the eastern suburbs of the third ring road with the completed certificate. The person just glanced at my certificate and said, "No problem, I can burn it at any time if I bring it over."

Hearing this, I breathed a sigh of relief.Burn it, burn it, it's over.

Soon, night falls.

After one o'clock in the middle of the night, I made sure that everyone was asleep, so I went downstairs lightly, and pushed the tricycle out of the hotel.

There are not only shovels and dead monkeys on the tricycle, but also my little luggage. I don’t plan to go back to the hotel, I plan to run away after finishing my work.

I pedaled my three wheels desperately and rode all the way north. On the way, I kept thinking, if only my head was there, I missed them.

In about 10 minutes, we arrived at the construction site,

At this time, the night was dark and the wind was high, except for a few lights on the office building in the distance, there was no one in sight.

The hole I dug myself is like the urine that a dog has urinated. You don't need to search carefully, you can determine the location just by smelling it.

Under the cover of thick night, I picked up the shovel and started digging.

Because no one is letting the wind out, I am highly alert, but if I hear the slightest movement around me, I will stop immediately.

At about three o'clock, I stood in the pit and wiped my sweat.

Half of my calf wearing trousers was already exposed in the soil. I whispered I was sorry, then pulled my leg and forcefully pulled the person out of the soil.

I have to change Yu Beggar's clothes, otherwise he will definitely be seen by others when he is dragged into the crematorium.

When a person's stomach is inflated after death, the concept of a giant will appear, and the concept of a giant appears on the beggar's head.

Accompanied by a smell that smells like boiled eggs that have been spoiled in summer, I almost fainted when I changed my clothes.

Put the yellow box back, backfill it with soil, and then I rode three wheels and pulled Yu Beg's head to the crematorium in the eastern suburbs.

As the saying goes, dead dead dead dead.

When I was riding the bike, I always felt that the beggar who was pulling behind me slowly sat up by himself, his face was dripping with blood, and he was smiling at me.

But when I turned around sharply, everything was fine, and he didn't sit up.

At [-]:[-], when we arrived at the place, an old man on the night shift looked surprised and said, "Young man, you didn't find a funeral car, why did you sneak it in a tricycle in the middle of the night? It tastes good,"

I wiped my eyes, sobbed and said: "Master, this is my father, the family really has no money, so we want to do it quietly, and don't want too many neighbors to know."

The old man sighed: "Hey, I understand. Every family has scriptures that are difficult to recite. Let me take a look at your certificate and procedures. If there is no problem, I can burn it for you."

He took my ID and looked at it for a second, then immediately raised his head and said, "This is a fake ID."

"How is that possible? How could the police station give me a false statement!" I said with a guilty conscience.

He picked up the ID, looked at it against the light, frowned and said, "No mistake, the material doesn't feel right to the touch, it's fake at first glance."

"Don't leave yet, I have to ask the people from the police station to come."

"Don't tell me!"

I grabbed him and said, "Help me! My father died accidentally on the construction site. We received money from the construction site boss. I really don't want to pursue this matter anymore."

"Oh, so that's the case, but is this really your father? Why do I think you don't look alike?"

I quickly handed over a thick envelope, which contained my entire worth of 5000 yuan.

The old man squeezed the thickness of the envelope, quickly put it in his arms and said, "Hurry up, don't go to register, come with me, use the gas stove."

Burning room.

Watching the flames rising and people being pushed in, I fell to my knees with a plop.

"Forgive the child for being unworthy! Dad! You have a good journey!"

I bowed my head and kept sobbing.

What no one saw was that I was actually holding back my laughter.