Jimei Lu of the Three Kingdoms

Liu Bei: "Brothers are like siblings, women are like clothes."
Lin Feng: "Whoever touches my hands and feet, I will wear his clothes!"
Cao Cao: "A man's beautiful wife is what I want."
Lin Feng: "Before the beauty becomes someone else's wife, make her my wife!"
Sun Quan: "Lonely in this life, I only love girls and beauties..."
Lin Feng: "Shut up, I've taken a fancy to your sister, Sun Shangxiang, from now on you can be a harmless brother-in-law who eats and waits for death!"