I'm really immortal

Common coffins in villages generally only weigh about 500 to 800 kilograms.

Many people who have lived in rural areas have seen someone placing a coffin on the left side of their main room. These families usually have elderly people over sixty years old.

This is a custom. In rural areas, elderly people over sixty years old, and even some in their fifties who are in poor health, will start preparing coffins for themselves.

In the past, I would save almost all the wood myself, so I would hire a carpenter to make a coffin for me.

At that time, the standard of living was average, and life, old age, illness and death were left to fate. Some old people did not know when they would suddenly pass away, so they prepared coffins in advance.

Especially for those who have no children, they are worried that they will not even have a coffin after their death, so they naturally have to prepare it in advance to avoid being wrapped in a straw mat, placed on the door and carried away for burial.

The weight of a coffin is a very particular figure. A coffin made of good materials will naturally be heavier, but it cannot be made too big or heavy. After all, people have to be put in it. When it is sent to burial, it is not just carrying the coffin. There are also loads outside. The frame is also quite heavy.

In rural areas, coffins are usually carried by young adults in the village. It takes more than ten or twenty people to carry the coffin from home to the cemetery, which is a few miles away or a dozen miles away. Even if the coffin is buried on the mountain in front of the home, the coffin will usually be carried. Walk around the nearby villages to let the deceased take a last look at his hometown and meet his people before being buried.

The coffin-carrying team passes by each household, and the heads of households who are generally known to each other will light small firecrackers outside to express their gratitude.

In the past, carrying coffins in rural areas was the responsibility of the strong men in the village. After all, every family has old people, and some of them will die. But now, not only are the neighborhood relationships in the city disappearing, but also the human relations in the countryside are difficult to maintain. After all, there are more and more people. All my fellow villagers only have houses in the countryside, but they haven’t been back for who knows how long.

Just like the last time Liu Changan went to Zeng Shao's hometown, there was not only Qingshan Town, which specializes in rice noodles, but also a town that was once famous throughout the country for its PS photo extortion. It was also the hometown of fake certificates. Later, many people also embarked on the road of telecommunications fraud. .

There are many luxurious villas built in mountain villages in this township, but no one is living there.

Some have made money and built a luxurious villa in their hometown to express their return to their hometown in glory. In fact, the whole family has moved to the city. Others have the whole family engaged in these evil deeds and were caught together and are all squatting in jail.

Liu Changan has seen village houses that can be called luxury villas. The construction costs are not low, and they are far from comparable to the American rural wooden houses that many people envy.

Pity.

"When I get older, I will build a house in the countryside. In front of the house, there will be a large cement field for drying millet. The cement field is about one meter higher than the pond. You can fish while sitting on the cement field." Liu Changan said with some longing.

Although the city is good, rural life is still unforgettable, especially for many people who came out of the countryside and struggled for half their lives to finally gain a foothold in the city. In the end, what they miss most is the land and the kind of life in their childhood memories. Those old friends from the village who are gradually disappearing.

"Do you have a homestead?" Shangguan's dull voice came through the coffin, a little angry. Recently, when she was waiting for her poker friends at Aunt Xie's canteen, she watched some rural life TV series with Xiao Qin Xiaoqian and others to learn more about it. Get more information about modern life.

In the TV series, it is the old people like Xiao Qin and Xiao Qian who left the countryside and settled in the city. They gave up their rural household registration. Therefore, even though they still have their ancestral homes in the countryside, they have no homestead. They want to repair their ancestral homes or It is impossible to demolish and rebuild new houses.

"I don't have one." This was a problem, but it didn't bother him, who had a lot of experience in changing identities and life. After a little thought, he found a solution, "I can sign a rental agreement with villagers who intend to move to the city. I I rented the house to him for seventy years at a rent of one yuan per year. He also rented the house in the village to me for seventy years. I just need to cooperate with the village when I plan to build a new house on his homestead."

"Then you'd better find a villager whose house has a mountain behind it, and then we can hollow out the mountain and bury me there." Shangguan Dandan kicked his feet in the coffin with some anticipation.

"Okay, I will help you build an underground palace in the mountains. The level of Qin Ling...forget it, no one can build a large tomb of Qin Ling level now." Liu Changan originally had the character of "nothing is difficult in the world", but this kind of Don't bother with things that don't make sense.

Many people cannot understand how spectacular and vast the construction of a large project like Qinling is. You can watch the construction video of a super project like Baihetan Hydropower Station to get an idea.

There is no problem in letting Liu Changan hollow out a few mountains, but a tomb like Qin Ling requires slow work, meticulous carving, and careful arrangement of countless scenes.

On the other hand, Shangguan Dandan herself, her hair is more widely used in such scenes.

"Is Qin Ling bigger and deeper than the evil woman's hole?" Shangguan Dandan asked curiously.

"What?"

"You went to play with me!"

Liu Changan realized that Shangguan Dandan was talking about Su Mei's underground base at Hunan University.

"Big is definitely bigger, but deep may not be deeper." Liu Changan recalled that Shangguan Dandan's hole was quite shallow, and Zhou Shuling found her treasure after digging casually.

Today she talked to Liu Changan about exchanging cash. She probably wanted to convert the 10,000 yuan she got from Bai Hui into cash and bury it.

It was necessary to bury it as early as possible. The vegetable seedlings had not been planted in Zhou Shuling's vegetable field yet, so it was convenient to dig and bury it again.

It's a pity that Shangguan Dandan always said that she lived her life very shrewdly. That's not necessarily true, but she was definitely shrewd when it came to protecting her baby. As long as she dug again, she would find that she had been passive. .

Liu Changan imagined the scene:

Digging and digging, Shangguan Dandan became suspicious.

After digging up the pottery pot, he realized something was wrong, and Shangguan Dandan was very worried.

After digging out the clay pot and preparing to open the lid, Shangguan Dandan's hands and feet were cold.

She opened the lid, held her breath, and put her fingers in with trembling fingers. When she was uneasy, she found that there was something inside. She was overjoyed and quickly poured it all out. She finally collapsed to the ground as if she had escaped from death, crying and holding her baby in her arms. Find another place to dig a hole again.

Hey, I really want to hide and see such a scene, it's so interesting.

"I no longer like living in a place as big as the palace. The small house we live in is very good. But in the future, when the harem is truly established, we will still need a slightly larger place, such as a mahjong room, card hall, canteen, and dog kennels. , woods, vegetable fields, ponds, a mountain and everything else." Shangguan Dandan patted the coffin wall in admiration.

"You still need a place to put your vending machine, right?" Liu Changan said angrily, while holding the coffin in one hand.

"Yes!" A loud voice expressed strong agreement.

Liu Changan and Shangguan Dandan chatted casually, and at the same time quickened their pace, much faster than when they went there.

What happened tonight made Liu Changan know more about Shangguan Dandan. It turned out that when she was awake, she could completely control her monster-like hair.

That time when she came out of the tomb of the Eastern Han Dynasty, she brought a "Shangguan Dan Dan No. 2", which was sucked clean by her hair. She was in a dazed state as she had just woken up.

Later, the water monkey was sucked into bones, and she was lying on his back in a drunken state.

Regarding some of Shangguan Dandan's abilities and characteristics, Liu Changan could only observe by himself, because when he took the initiative to ask her, she would either not know anything about it, or she would look around and refuse to tell the truth. This kind of temperament that likes to hide things is probably the same. Developed by being immersed in palace fighting skills for a long time.

Originally, she told Liu Changan that there was a strange person who was parasitized by her hair, and he thought she wanted to catch up and eat him. However, she just thought that Liu Changan would be interested and could take her to play.

Liu Changan just realized that it was unusual for the alien beasts to appear here, and wanted to see what they were doing... Liu Changan was also interested in what they were going to do, so he spared Hu Jie's life. When it became famous, Liu Changan You can go and join in the fun.

If Hu Jie is killed directly, there will be no follow-up. Maybe these strange beasts can really figure out the secret of the corpse exorcists and find some sleeping ancient witch or something.

He is not a god of death, he is just a god of death who likes to join in the fun. Killing people is often done casually and out of necessity.

Back at the resort center, except for the staff on duty, everyone else had fallen asleep peacefully. Only the kitchen and other places in the whole building were still lit.

The night sky was vaguely a deep blue, and the quiet tourist area had a sense of comfort that had faded away from the bustling world. Liu Changan placed the coffin outside the resort center.

You can't bring this thing in, otherwise the staff will be shocked when they see a coffin here early in the morning.

Although some people send handicraft coffins as a good sign of "promotion and wealth," absolutely no one likes a real coffin delivered to their doorstep.

Linghu Chong was betrayed back then because after Lin Pingzhi killed the Qingcheng sect, he gave Laudno fifty taels of silver as a coffin book. As a result, after Linghu Chong bought the coffin, he took the remaining money to drink flowers. Yue Lingshan was so disappointed with the wine that she lay in the coffin dejectedly.

Lin Pingzhi also hid in a coffin to avoid being hunted. In this narrow space, a man and a woman inevitably came into physical contact, forming a bad bond and causing a tragedy for the entire Huashan sect.

"Why is this coffin in that temple?" Shangguan Dandan pushed the cover halfway and sat inside without climbing out immediately.

"Who knows? It's not necessary to say that they wanted to make the video more realistic. The coffin weighs more than 2,000 kilograms, and only twenty or thirty strong young men can't carry it up the mountain." Liu Changan thought for a while, "Or maybe they should take it slowly first. Transport the wood up there and let the carpenters make the coffin in the temple.”

"I suspect that this is the coffin of the ancient witch they are talking about. This ancient witch is just like me. Because it is very weak, it has to hide in such a closed environment to feel safe. Now its coffin has been snatched away by us. It must be very sad." Shangguan Dandan suddenly felt sad when he thought about losing his little coffin. He could also feel the same way when the ancient wizard lost his little coffin.

"Um."

"Send this coffin back." Shangguan Dandan climbed out.

Liu Changan was too lazy to pay attention to her and went back upstairs to sleep with the chain saw.

Shangguan Dandan stood beside the coffin, put down the thermos bottle, then grabbed the edge of the coffin with both hands, squatted with his legs slightly apart and squatted in a horse stance to facilitate his strength, gritted his teeth and tried to lift the coffin. Since the moth refused to run again, then It can only be done by the kind-hearted Queen Mother.

Oops, I don’t have the strength to move it, so I tried my best.

Shangguan Dandan hugged his thermos bottle and jumped up and down to catch up with Liu Changan's back.

Liu Changan walked to the door of his room, Shangguan Dandan followed him holding up his skirt, and then reached out to take back the chainsaw that Liu Changan was holding.

"I almost forgot to return it to you." Liu Changan said sheepishly.

"Then I'll let you play." Shangguan said generously.

Liu Changan looked at her suspiciously, and then slowly shook his head, because if Shangguan Dandan really wanted to give him the chainsaw, he wouldn't have taken it back at all.

Just like when many people collect lucky money during the Chinese New Year, if the other party really wants to give it to you, they will definitely stuff it into your pocket that you hold open with one hand, instead of saying, "If you want lucky money, I'll give it to you."

"No need." Liu Changan refused, then walked into the room and locked Shangguan Dandan out.

Once bitten by a snake, he has been afraid of well ropes for ten years. Shangguan Dandan has many tricks that he has to guard against.

After all, Liu Changan also has an electric heating table and a computer that Shangguan Dandan covets. Liu Changan hasn't bought a tablet computer to deal with her yet, so he should be cautious for the time being.

After returning to the room, Liu Changan took out his phone and looked at it. There were pictures and messages sent by Annuan. She said that her butt seemed to have gotten bigger and asked Liu Changan to see if that was the case.

The evidence that she discovered this was that the roots of her new open stockings had a bit of a pinching feeling, which was different from before.

Unlike Bai Hui, An Nuan's figure is taller and slender, and her legs are not as round and fleshy as those of a pure and lustful girl. The fullness now starts from the hip line and extends to the roots of the legs.

Liu Changan looked at it for a while and suggested that she send pictures from more angles to facilitate his judgment, as well as some comparison photos with and without wearing them.

After sending the message, Liu Changan took a shower and went to bed.

It felt like he hadn't slept for long when he was woken up by a sound of kicking on the door. Liu Changan walked over and opened the door, and saw a sheep with a plastic bag on its butt standing outside the door. He raised his head and twitched his ears. He looked at him expectantly and shouted: "Hey! Take me out to play."

"Have you learned how to use the voice of a sheep to make a human voice?" Liu Changan was a little surprised. Zhu Juntang was much more active and effective in learning these messy things than she was in receiving formal human education.

Humans created the current language, and various pronunciations were created based on human vocal cords and vocal structural characteristics. Sheep's vocal cords are different, and even if they can speak human words, they don't sound much like human voices.

Just like parrots, mynas and other birds learn to speak from humans, they also have the characteristics of bird vocal cords.

"Baa! I've learned it, just say baa before you speak, baa!" Zhu Juntang held his head high, stretched out his front hoof and stepped on Liu Changan's instep, urging him to take her out to play.

Although Zhu Juntang is a fairy, he is still a little scared to run out to play alone in the middle of the night. Moreover, when he turns into a sheep and runs around, and does all kinds of messy things, if Liu Changan is beside him, there will always be something extraordinary. hapiness.

I don't know why, but Zhu Juntang feels that he is always extra lively, childish and likes to mess around when he is around Liu Changan.

Liu Changan looked at the time, it was five o'clock in the morning.

He had just fallen asleep not long ago.

He doesn't need to sleep as long as ordinary people do to ensure that he is energetic, but it is unpleasant to be woken up after not sleeping for a long time.

So Liu Changan stretched out his hand and pinched Zhu Juntang under his armpit, and walked downstairs. Zhu Juntang was stunned for a moment, then swayed and struggled. This bad old man must have evil intentions.

But how could she break free? When she came downstairs, Liu Changan put the small trailer on her body.

Zhu Juntang jumped up in anger, but she was able to put the plastic bag on by kicking her legs and rubbing her butt on the ground, but she couldn't take off the tight-fitting noose of the small trailer.

Obviously after she bought it tonight, she planned to use clever strategies to fool Liu Changan into turning into a sheep and playing with a small trailer.

As a result, it happened to myself.

"Hey! I don't want to play anymore, I want to go back to sleep!" Zhu Juntang ran around twice and said angrily.

"Your mother sent you here. In addition to making up for classes every day, she also asked you to do some things on the ranch. I don't think you did it at all. Now is a good time to pick up sheep dung balls. It shouldn't take long to get the small trailer Fill the sheep dung balls and return with a full load." Liu Changan put a rope around Zhu Juntang's neck and pulled her to pick up the sheep dung balls.

Zhu Juntang tried to resist by putting her limbs together to concentrate pressure and pressing against the ground, but it was useless because Liu Changan not only put a rope around her neck, but also whipped her with a whip. The beating was no better than before. The spanking was gentle.

Zhu Juntang had no choice but to bleat aggrievedly, and was pulled by him to pick up the sheep dung balls. At this moment, Zhu Juntang's bleating was not coquettish or cute, it was just an instinct, and he couldn't use any other words to express his emotions. I wanted to imitate Zhou Dong Dong Oo to express anger and helplessness, but the result was "baa" when I opened my mouth.

This is completely different from the scene that Zhu Juntang imagined playing together after turning into a sheep. The picture in his imagination was obviously that he also turned into a sheep, and the big sheep and the little sheep ran, played and rolled together on the green grassland.

The results of it? She turned into a sheep, but he didn't change. He used her as a cart to pull sheep dung balls!