How to Raise Your Regressor

"Samur, you're a genius!" Neia exclaimed.

"Thanks." I nodded while being spun around like a doll.

Like bruh, is this the first time you've seen a 12-year-old child develop artificial organs or what? Calm the fuck down, mate.

"Where did you even learn this?"

"Well, how about you put me down first? Then we can talk."

"Oh, right." Neia abruptly stopped her merry dance, blushed a bit and set me down back on mother Earth (or whatever this planet is called).

Huh, I don't even know the name of the planet I am on. That's kinda bad, now that I think about it.

Well, whatever.

Let's put the final nail on my lie by answering the clearly overly-excited dragon; she'll do the rest for me.

"I learned them from the books in my estate."

"Argh, that again?!" She groaned. "No way did you study these concepts through mere books!"

"We just had some really good books." I shrugged.

And by books, I mean the countless years of data I have stored in the Memory System.

Also, if she's seeing me as a prodigy just because I mixed some components of blood, then I can only wonder how far her jaw would drop when I show her what I'm truly capable of.

Huh, that sounds amusing, now that I think about it.

Looks like I know what I'll do today.

"Oh yeah? Then show me those books." She demanded.

Wut?

"That would require me to go back to my family, which, in my opinion, won't be the best option for my mental health."

She literally asked me to go back to the place which traumatised me for life.

Wow, this woman's EQ is lower than Noelle's. The New Dawn Guild just keeps hitting new lows.

"Oh…" The excitement drained from her face. "I'm sorry about that."

"Apology accepted." I nodded with a smile. "Now, with this, your suspicions should have been cleared." I looked at Noelle while saying that.

Jokes aside, this assassin's being a little too overprotective of me.

If this continues on, a day will arrive when she'll start interfering in my personal life. And as any normal person, I would like to avoid that.

I really need to hasten my corrupted hero plan.

After these wankers' 'antics' are over, I'll go out and hunt down my family.

…

That sounded really edgy.

"Hmm." Noelle looked at Neia.

"There's no need to worry." The latter replied. "It's just harmless research. In fact, Samur should be praised." She turned to me. "I really, truly hope you succeed, because if you do, we would finally get an edge in this war we so desperately need."

Aight, calm- wait, is she planning to transplant a motherfucking Dragon-Vampire Hybrid Heart (from now on I'm calling it the DVH heart) in every single person alive on this continent?

You can't do that! That's illegal.

If everyone got a DVH heart and started casting strategic class spells while sipping on coffee, the world would go to shit. More importantly, I would no longer be special!

⟦⟦You are the origin.⟧⟧

[Shut the fuck up, okay? And stop interrupting my monologues.]

⟦⟦To my chagrin, that wish will have to be granted.⟧⟧

[Oh? Really?]

⟦⟦Yup, I have to go to work or my wife will chew me alive.⟧⟧

[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!]

This guy has a job and a wife? Hot damn, if I had someone to tell me jokes like these, I would never get bored.

⟦⟦Anyway, see ya.⟧⟧

[Fuck off, faggot.]

Whew, finally I'm free-

⟦⟦I never said that.⟧⟧ The wanker chuckled.

[As expected, the talk about a wife and a job was a lie, huh.]

⟦⟦Oh no, of course not. I can still observe you, it's just that I'll no longer have the freedom to 'interrupt your monologues because I will be under observation of my wife. Unless, of course, you want some more viewers to peek into your life.⟧⟧

What is this, a reality show?

[No fucking way.]

⟦⟦Thought so. Anyway, until next time.⟧⟧

[I hope that time never comes.]

Fucking faggot.

I swear to god the moment I find the opportunity to yeet myself out of this world, I'm hunting this fucker down and making his life a shitty tv reality show for the entire universe to see.

Anyway, we digressed. Let's get back on track.

Uh, where was I again?

Ah, right.

"Well, only time will tell." I replied with a nod.

It's cute how Neia wants me to succeed without even realising that I already have.

Perhaps I should give her the DVH heart as well- no, wait, she's already a Dragon.

Fuck it, let's develop a Dragon-Vampire-Shadowlord Hybrid heart next. I'll shorten it to DVSH heart.

Wew, that's a lot of acronyms for today.

"If you need me for anything, just tell me. I'll do everything in my power to help you."

Anything?

That sounds like the plot of a 3rd rate porno.

She really should think before speaking.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Well!" Arteria clapped. "I told you that you were worrying for nothing."

"Yes, so it would seem." Noelle slowly nodded.

What, is she still not fully convinced?

Why do all the members of this guild have trust issues? Like, I get it, you've had a tough past, but grow up, mate.

I should probably hold a trust building seminar for these wankers, because they are in desperate need of one.

"Also, I would appreciate it if you next time, instead of jumping to conclusions and breaking into my room, you talked to me and cleared your doubts. Because, you know, that's how a healthy guild functions."

"I-I was just worried about you…" Her voice trailed off.

"Worried about a boy you had just dropped off to the dining area?"

I mean, she was worried about someone she had just seen? I call bullshit on that one, chief.

"That is…" Her eyes drooped.

"But yeah, you are absolutely right. It's perfectly reasonable to make the assumption you made. I'm truly sorry to have doubted your genius."

"Samur?" Arteria whispered.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Noelle sighed.

Huh, a pathetic, half-hearted apology means nothing to me, Noelle.

"Well, after all this, I'm sure you'll understand if I… upgrade the lock to my room, won't you?"

Nice, let's pin the blame on Noelle and use it as an excuse to tighten my room's defences.

Sure, she'll be stricken with guilt for the days to come, but that's a small price to pay for my peace of mind.

"I… I was just worried about you, okay!" She suddenly exclaimed.

Oh boy.