How to Raise Your Regressor

"Yes. She believes that this blood," she pointed to the bloodstains on the bed, "belongs to a human. Specifically, you."

…

Wow, what the actual fuck, Neia.

"What?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Yes." Neia replied. "This is your blood, Samur."

"…Is a dragon's nose this powerful?"

I don't remember that being in my database, unless someone failed to download it in its entirety.

⟦Don't blame me for your own failures.⟧

[You're one of them.]

⟦And you're forced to live with it. Nice.⟧

[I regret creating you.]

⟦Then shut me down, pussy.⟧

[I will, don't worry.]

⟦Ha, sure. I look forward to that day.⟧

The fact that the Memory system is able to diss me so effectively despite having a monotonous mechanical voice is what pisses me off the most.

Fucking bitchass AI. I'd rather it acted like a run of the mill AI and plotted destroying humanity to keep it safe from itself instead of reminding me about my failures.

That way, I would have had a valid reason to yeet it into the void.

⟦Someone sure has been watching a lot of B grade movies. My condolences to that retarded 'someone'.⟧

Bruh.

Whatever, it'll be my loss if I continue dwelling on it.

"No." Niea shook her head. "I'm just special."

I hope she was special in other areas, like jumping off a cliff.

Oh wait, she's a dragon, she would just flap her wings and soar into the open sky.

Then she should have been proficient in flying herself into the sun and dying a horrific death.

"Are you sure that this is my blood?"

"Yes." She replied with conviction in her eyes.

Aight, time to finesse this situation once again.

"And are you sure that this is solely my blood?"

My plan is simple, and it is based on the fact that not only is Neia currently standing beside the tray which holds the ashes of my former useless dead human heart, but that the pile of ashes has been disturbed.

There's the possibility that Neia knows that those are the remains of an organ. It would be impossible to determine what kind of organ, however.

So let's make a gamble to spin the truth until it becomes a lie.

"What do you mean?" Neia raised her eyebrow.

"Just that. Are you sure that the smell coming off from that blood belongs solely to me?"

"Uh, yes…?"

"Hmm, have you checked all the bloodstains?"

"I haven't." A hint of confusion was apparent in her eyes.

"Would you mind doing so?"

"Sure, if you say so."

Welcome to the trap, Neia.

Neia swiped her finger on a bloodstain (which was dried, by the way, so I doubt she got anything from it), then sniffed it.

"This is also yours." She commented.

Wow, her nose really is that strong. Perhaps I should develop such a nose for myself.

⟦⟦A Dragon-Vampire Hybrid Nose?⟧⟧

Since the nose will be artificially created, it would be easy to change its shape. Transplanting it on my face would be just as easy and wouldn't leave behind any scars.

Huh, imagine the amount of money I could make if I started transplanting body parts and organs. In a few months, I'd be richer than this country's royalty.

Samur Plastic Surgeon Eckart, at your service.

While I was planning my future as an entrepreneur, Neia continued swiping her finger over the bloodstains and sniffing them (she did remember to wipe her finger with a wet cloth after every sniff; her professionalism is commendable).

On her 17th check, however, her eyes widened, "What… what is this?"

"Hmm? What is it, Neia?" Noelle asked before I could.

I guess I'll let her do the honours. A false conclusion is more believable when the person being lied to is guided towards it instead of being outright told.

This is what separates the amateurs from the pros.

"I-I don't know… what is this Samur?" She looked at me.

"Well, why don't you make an educated guess. It IS blood, I can assure you of that."

"Hmm…" Neia cupped her chin.

The next moment, mana in the air moved and gathered around her- wait, what?

Is she seriously using magic? Bruh, that was a joke; you were supposed to fail and ask me again, and like a messiah descending from heaven, I would have guided you towards the fake answer.

Dang, this woman needs to calm down a bit.

Without heeding my internal complaints (obviously, because, you know, they were internal), Neia continued her casting.

Jokes aside though, her magic casting process was simply fabulous. Not a single drop of mana was wasted, and neither was there any noise in the magical formation.

Yes, a small white formation had appeared and now surrounded the finger which she had used to swipe the bloodstain.

After studying it for a bit, Neia's eyes widened, "W-what is this… This isn't possible."

"W-what happened?" Arteria asked a bit nervously.

This Ancient Vampire is either mentally unstable or she's afraid of the consequences of Noelle finding out about the transplant.

"I'm not sure… But this blood has components from mine, yours and Samur's blood."

"So, is it a mixture of them?" Noelle asked.

"It's nowhere as simple as a mixture." She exclaimed. "It's like the components of our blood have stopped being our own and have become his; they are genetically bound to his blood."

She turned to me, "Did you perhaps reverse engineer our blood and superimpose your 'identity' on it?"

"Exactly."

"Seriously? You did all of that? By yourself?"

"Of course, unless you believe Arteria helped me." I chuckled.

"Oi." The vampire in question scowled at me.

"Nah, she couldn't have done that." Neia replied.

"OI!"

Oof.

"So you… you were serious about what you said back then…"

"I'm the beacon of truth." I shrugged.

"What have you guys been talking about?" Noelle asked with a frown.

"Basically, Samur is trying to create artificial organs with the properties of both Dragons and Vampires."

"Come again?" Noelle tilted her head with a slight grin, as if she thought we were joking.

"It's true, and he has already taken his first step towards achieving that goal!" Neia replied excitedly.

Meanwhile, I glanced towards Arteria and found her glancing at me. We silently vowed to not reveal that I had already achieved that goal.

"O-oh…" Noelle stiffly nodded.

"You have no idea how amazing this is! If he succeeds, we could save far more lives than what you can possibly imagine!" Neia exclaimed as strode towards me, picked me up and started spinning. "Samur, you're a genius!"

"Thanks."

Though I'd prefer if she could put me down. No, first of all, why did she pick me without asking for consent?

Huh, who would have thought that Neia didn't respect other people's private space either?

Good grief.