Earth Survival Guide

Chapter 818 You people are too young
I don’t know when it started, those people in costume dramas can successfully dress up as people of another gender by wearing men’s clothes and a hat, not to mention that men’s voices and skin texture are completely different from women’s. It's different, unless you cut the egg and take estrogen continuously, as long as your ears are not deaf and your eyes are not blind, you will see through it in seconds.

And even if there are two aspects that are no different from women, then there is one thing that cannot be avoided, what about those exaggerated pectoral muscles?Well, wrap the chest with three layers inside and three layers outside.But what about the waist-to-hip ratio that is completely different from that of men?How to cover up this?

Anyway, the difference between men and women can be said to be at the genetic level. The difference between humans and pigs is not as big as the difference between men and women. How can it be possible for women to disguise themselves as men.As for men disguised as women, it is actually possible. After all, most people don't care, but are more excited.

First of all, this young lady who disguises herself as a man is not well-dressed, her skin is white, there are earring marks on her ears, her neck is so thin, and there is a fucking red line on it.

Bras have not been invented in this era, so this thing is the bellyband line, bright red, little girl in the year of birth.

Then there are the clothes on your body. It’s just a layer of men’s clothes on the outside, but the lining inside you has to be replaced by men’s clothes. I don’t know how strong the floral rouge smell on your body is, even the cow dung under the field ridge. Can't hide the smell.

That's it...a woman disguised as a man?If this can be deceived, the civilization will simply be destroyed. The per capita IQ is too low, but according to Gu Tao's observation, the per capita IQ of the Song Dynasty was not low, so there is only one possibility, and that is... this person , I have my own problems, and my brain is not very easy to use.

"What are you doing looking at me like that? Do you want to ask me how I know you are a woman?" Gu Tao raised his head and glanced at her: "Sister, your pectoralis major is really a little exaggerated. One press."

After saying this, Gu Tao directly tilted his neck, and as expected, he brushed his nose with a slap and threw it over, while he turned his head: "I didn't say you, little girl, you want to If you really take the plot of pretending to be a son and meeting your true destiny in those stories seriously, then you will definitely not be very happy in this life. You think about it, think about it hard."

The little girl glared at Gu Tao fiercely: "You can tell it right away, why are you talking scornfully against me?"

"I'm going to say something frivolous about you." Gu Tao looked her up and down: "I have to pinch it with my hands to be frivolous. I just remind you that your pectoralis major is too exaggerated. What kind of frivolity is this? Don't you?" Have you seen a gangster?"

"rogue?"

"lecher."

"Oh..." The little girl nodded, and then suddenly realized: "No! You bastard!!! Ignore you!"

She left as soon as she finished speaking, and Gu Tao didn't even bother to look at her. His mother taught him since he was a child that he should not play with people with mental illnesses. is going to be stupid.

After finishing today's work in the field, Gu Tao went straight to the market to eat something, just to experience the local customs and customs, he is not short of money, so it is no problem to go to restaurants every once in a while.

But just after he finished eating, he suddenly heard a commotion outside. As an idler with good deeds, Gu Tao naturally couldn't let go of this kind of good deed. After going out to that stop, he found a store selling jewelry and jade articles diagonally opposite. There seemed to be an argument.

The boss was yelling at a woman and said he would report to the authorities.And that woman didn't seem like a good person, and the two sides started arguing about you coming and going.Gu Tao likes to watch this kind of noisy scene the most. He bought a meatloaf from the side and squeezed it in his hand to watch it cheerfully.

But when the atmosphere reached its climax, a figure suddenly appeared in the crowd, walked straight into the shop, and began to scold the owner of the jewelry shop with righteous words.

When Gu Tao saw it, he laughed out loud on the spot, isn't this the little girl who disguised herself as a man?This kind of people... In fact, there are really everywhere. They are the kind of young people with an explosive sense of justice. They think they are upholding justice, and they don't understand the ins and outs at all.

But now it seems that this little girl may not be short of money at home, because she has a bag of silk in her hand, and the price of the silk is not cheap, presumably she is planning to go back and get herself new clothes.

"You are a big man, how can you bully such a weak woman?" She stood between the boss and the woman, and said aggressively: "Is there no law in Song Dynasty?"

"Wang's law? Which king's law says that you don't have to pay for things that are broken?" The boss didn't show any weakness: "He broke my things, and I have to pay for it!"

"You're spitting blood! You obviously took a broken item to slander me!" The woman put her hips on her hips, her eyes were red: "I didn't even touch your bracelet!"

"Oh, if you said you didn't touch it, you didn't touch it? Now the thing is broken here. If you say it wasn't you, could it be that I smashed it myself?"

This time, the two sides insisted on their own words, and no one could prove which side was right. The little lady disguised as a man stood there awkwardly. She raised her head with her neck stuck, opened her mouth, and finally jumped out One sentence: "Yes, then how can you prove that you didn't smash it yourself!"

Gu Tao covered his face, deeply feeling that there is something wrong with the kid's head.

"Okay, it seems that you are in the same group! If that's the case, then I will report to the government together!" After the boss finished speaking, he called the handyman and prepared to vote for the government.

But at this time, Gu Tao came out from the crowd, sighed, put his arm around the little lady's shoulder, and said to the boss with a smile: "Boss, don't blame me, my little brother is ignorant, so he bumped into you."

Little brother?The boss looked down at the poorly disguised little girl and then at Gu Tao, and smiled contemptuously: "What? Seeing that the situation is not good, you want to come here to catch someone? It's too late! I can get three thousand pieces of this bracelet!"

It's just a trick to blackmail people.

And the little girl who was hugged by Gu Tao gave Gu Tao a vicious look, and tried to break free, but unexpectedly, his hand was tightly squeezed, and it hurt so bad when he struggled, it hurt so much that even his brows frowned.

"Three thousand guan and five thousand guan are fine, but that's all." Gu Tao said with a chuckle: "If this elder sister smashed it for you today, I will pay for the [-] guan, and I will give you another [-] guan for energy." Damage fee.”

"What fee?"

Gu Tao waved his hand: "Don't worry about it, if this elder sister smashed it today, I will give you five thousand guan."

"Okay." The boss nodded.

"Don't be too busy, if this big sister didn't smash it, you have to give me five thousand guan."

"This..." The boss felt guilty, he took a step back and began to hesitate.

In the eyes of Gu Daguan, this little thing is just like playing. He has already seen it. Did the bracelet fall?It was a fall, not here, the ground is well protected by the boss, but if it was really dropped here, there will be splash-shaped debris around, but the ground is clean, not even a fart No, and the impact point at the fracture is different from the impact point on the ground, and if it is a complete bracelet, the way of force when it hits the ground is also different from what it is now.

This is very obvious, that is, when the hard material breaks, it will release more energy due to the rebound of the tension. This is most obvious when dropping a complete glass from upstairs and throwing the same weight of glass slag Glasses, their sputtering distances are absolutely different, the range of glass sputtering is farther, this is the microcosmic force between the inside.

The bracelet on the ground is just laid there in such a stupid way, how can it be broken just now, it is obviously broken a long time ago, this boss is not kind.

"You're crazy!" The little lady looked up at Gu Tao and said in a low voice, "That's five thousand guan!"

Gu Tao smiled and said, "What? Don't let me make this money?"

As he spoke, he squeezed the little girl's shoulders in a typical squeezing manner, which made her feel awkward, but she couldn't resist her curiosity.

"Just shut up."

After finishing speaking, Gu Tao stepped forward: "Boss, let me ask you, have you not moved the table since it fell?"

"That's natural."

"you sure?"

"That's for sure. I just want everyone to see it. No one can rely on it."

Gu Tao nodded, then turned around: "Everyone heard, right? The boss said it himself."

The people watching the excitement behind nodded one after another, and because of Gu Tao's participation, more and more people visited outside, and finally the whole street was full of people watching the excitement.

"This is the boss." Gu Tao walked up to the boss and also put his arm around his shoulders: "Now, give me two similar bracelets, and this matter will be over. Otherwise, you may not be able to continue your business. ”

The boss trembled, but struggled to break free from Gu Tao's hand: "This lawsuit is going to the official's house, so I am justified!"

What he said was straightforward, and the onlookers applauded one after another.

But Gu Tao just raised his head and smiled: "Then boss, look at it, before you lose money, I will let you improve your knowledge. By the way, there is no evidence for what you say, just write in black and white."

The boss became more and more panicked. He hesitated to make a written statement, but it was no longer his turn to make the decision. The onlookers had already begun to boo, saying that he was guilty of not willing to make a written statement, and some people were already booing.

So even if he wanted to go down the stairs now, there was no way for him to go down. He could only bite the bullet and sign a contract with Gu Tao.

After both of them signed the paperwork, Gu Tao took out a gold ingot of equivalent value from the small bag on his back and slapped it on the table: "Is this worth five thousand?"

The boss asked someone to inspect the gold, and he had nothing to say, but Gu Tao stretched his waist, and patted the face of the little old girl who was disguised as a man a few times: "Little brother, brother today Let you learn a lot."

"Bastard...you bastard..." She pouted and hid aside, so as not to be taken advantage of by this bastard again.

But in fact, she was really curious about how this stinky man could earn the five thousand coins, so she refused to walk away, and stood behind her in a mean way, stretching her neck and waiting.

Gu Tao turned around and first bowed to the onlookers: "Fathers and folks, please help me to be a witness, so that no one will deny it."

The enthusiasm of the masses reached its peak in an instant. It was so exciting to watch. What were they most afraid of?Isn't it just that the onlookers have a sense of participation? Moreover, scholars like Gu Tao are easy to be favored by others. The balance in their hearts naturally favors Gu Tao. Some of them even threatened on the spot that if the boss bullied the market, he would be punished. Beat him to death on the spot.

Seeing that things were no longer under control, the boss sat on the chair with a pale face and drank a sip of tea tremblingly, but half of the cup of tea spilled on his body.

Seeing his appearance, Gu Tao chuckled, walked to the bracelet, and squatted down: "Fathers and folks, please take a look. This bracelet is broken here, with two sections and three sections. This jade is good jade, but this It’s hard to say whether the land is serious or not.”

His words made the onlookers burst into laughter, and even the little lady turned her head and laughed.

"Everyone, please look, this ground is bluestone, if it touches jade, it will leave shallow marks."

He picked up the bracelet carefully, and then pointed to a mark on it: "Everyone, come and see."

There was really an unclear mark on the ground, like a girl's fingernail had gently dug it, and the shape of a small crescent could be clearly seen.

Gu Tao then picked up a pair of scissors from the side, circled the marks on the ground, and suddenly grabbed the little lady's hand, and pulled a hidden bracelet from her arm. The little lady was stunned, but But found that there was no other way.

"Look, everyone, this is the bracelet on my little brother's hand, let's make gestures."

Gu Tao squatted on the ground, put the bracelet in his hand to simulate the traces of the bracelet falling, and the crescent-like traces can only appear when the edge of the bracelet touches the ground.

The surrounding crowd nodded one after another.

After returning the bracelet to the little lady, he picked up the broken bracelet and put it back together: "Look again, everyone, what do you see?"

The fracture of the bracelet is actually on the surface, and it is a dot. To create such a wound, it must fall straight on the ground to appear, and the opposite ground should also be a circular impact point. , This is known to anyone with a little common sense in life.

But there is no circular collision point on the ground, that is to say, this is definitely not the first scene of the crime, but this expensive table was smashed by someone, put it back into the box, and then randomly found someone who took advantage of it .

Everyone is not stupid. After some explanations, everyone knew something in their hearts. For a while, the discussion became passionate, as if they were going to eat the boss raw.The boss next to him was now ashen-colored and did not dare to say a word.

It wasn't until a charming girl hurriedly came from outside, and a woman with picturesque eyebrows came down from the top, that he seemed to have found a savior, and knelt down in front of the woman with a plop: "Master, save me..."

When Gu Tao saw that the rightful owner was coming, he chuckled and slapped the black and white contract in front of her, standing beside her with his arms folded and smiling.

The woman was not in a hurry after reading the contract, she just turned around and said loudly to the onlookers outside: "It's because of my lax discipline that this happened today, and three days from today, I will book the Zuixian Tower and set up a running water mat, And spread the word that shopkeeper Xu will no longer be the big shopkeeper of Dongdajie from today, but because of his hard work, let him stay here as a clerk, and if something like this happens in the future, just leave me alone Don't think about the relationship between master and servant."

After finishing speaking, she beckoned to a buddy: "Don't go to the Zuixianlou to say hello yet! The Zuixianlou is in short supply, first come, first served."

As soon as the words were finished, all the people outside ran away with a whoosh. Sure enough, watching the excitement is not as good as eating and drinking.

Gu Tao, who was next to him, saw this girl's crisis public relations. It is really powerful. First, calm down the anger of the masses. What do the masses want?They don't care about justice. What these people want is a fucking explanation. The matter has come to a conclusion and they have benefited. As time goes by, it becomes a good story.

awesome!He is a master of business.

After the crowd dispersed, she turned to look at Gu Tao and the woman who was falsely accused: "My little lady, I would like to thank the young master first."

"Don't be in a hurry to thank me, it's five thousand guan!" The little lady next to me hurriedly shouted: "That's five thousand guan, if you want to renege on your debt, you can't do it."

Instead, it was Gu Tao, who leaned beside him and smiled, "Why do you thank me, Miss?"

"Supporting the righteous and suppressing the evil is the true nature of a scholar. My son is really admirable. If it weren't for you, my shop would probably be ruined." Have someone fetch it for you."

"Money, I don't need it." Gu Tao shook his head.

The little lady next to her became anxious: "You are stupid! That's five thousand strings!"

Gu Tao ignored her, just looked around with a smile: "I think the jade in Miss's shop is pretty good, and I plan to pick two bracelets for my wife, please ask the girl to help choose."

As he wished, he got two bracelets of excellent quality, which were carefully wrapped in silk by the woman and placed in a brocade box. Gu Tao said goodbye and left.The little lady who also picked up a pair of jade earrings next to him saw Gu Tao leaving, and immediately chased after him, and followed him.

"Hey, bastard. You're so smart!"

"My name is not Hey, my name is Chu... I'm sorry, I'm making a fool of myself." Gu Tao coughed: "This only shows that you are too stupid. What does this have to do with being smart? This is just an observation of daily life. , just be more careful."

"Hey, teach me, teach me!"

This guy...why is he so shameless?Gu Tao squinted at her: "You are so stupid, don't learn."

"You... my father said I was stupid, my brother said I was stupid, why do you also say I am stupid?"

"Your father and your brother have good eyes."

"You! You bastard!!!" The little lady caught up with Gu Tao again angrily: "Do you know who that woman is?"

"A good-looking widow."

"Yeah?" The little lady was stunned for a moment: "How do you know she's a widow?"

"Why do you have so many why?"

(End of this chapter)