The strongest brain in entertainment

Chapter 147 The most in-depth talk show speech
On the stage, Li Fan is full of style.

"In the past two days, I participated in the "Boya Cup" at Peking University. Everyone knows about the "Boya Cup", right? It's a very good event!"

"Huh—" the audience booed.

"A former 'comrade-in-arms' came to see me by train, Ximen Yufeng from the Idiom Conference. At that time, he was bored by the train, so he would call me at every stop, 'I'm in Maoshan', and I said yes, After a while, 'I've arrived in Sijia Town', I said yes, we have all the food and meals ready, and I'm waiting for you to come, and I called again after a while," Li Fan squinted his eyes at this time He seemed to be looking for something, "'It's pitch black and I can't see anything right now?' I said get off the car, we're in the capital!"

"puff--"

"Laugh at me!"

"High-end black!"

"Nimma, can you give me a chance to breathe a sigh of relief?"

……

"We chatted a lot about the past, and we also talked about the 10-day trip to Europe last year. Our first stop was Niwei, and we had been looking forward to it before we went. I don’t know if it’s because a certain foreign student said that the air is sweet. When we arrived at Niwei, our director Yang Wei was filled with emotion, “Ah, what a blue sky and white clouds!” He stood there, taking deep breaths, hiss—— , and then it’s down there!”

The audience was curious again, why did they just fall there?
"Everyone was terrified and didn't know what to do. I said it's okay. There were some drunks, drunks, and teas. He was drunk! The weather was so good, he couldn't breathe! Everyone panicked Said, 'Don't tell me, it's not easy to come here, don't have any troubles, what should I do?' I said it's all right, let's bury it!"

The audience looked at Li Fan's nonsense with a smile.

Li Fan sighed and said, "Hey, I will take care of the daughter-in-law in this family, what should I do? They are all friends!" After the audience finished laughing, Li Fan immediately continued, "My friends said, 'That's not going to happen, His life is at stake, so save him!' I said it would be easy to save him, so I drove the car over. Afterwards, the tail of the car was facing his face, it was on fire, beep beep beep...it got up in 10 minutes!" Li Fanyi The face imitated Yang Wei intoxicatedly, "Hey, I can smell the smell of my hometown again!"

When a spectator heard this, his hand was about to be slapped, and he shouted: "Wonderful!"

Followed by another round of cheers and applause, Li Fan's talk show was interrupted again.

……

Soon, the entire talk show speech has passed 20 minutes.And Li Fan became more and more comfortable, and this talk show has come to an end.

"The smog has indeed brought great inconvenience to our lives. The following is a TV station's live report on the smog in Northeast China during the autumn and winter of last year. Please watch the VCR!"

Everyone looked in the direction of the screen, only to find that there was nothing on the screen.

The technical department was in the dark, and panicked. The information Li Fan gave them did not include this interview video about the smog in Northeast China.

At this time, I saw Li Fan running to the LED screen, acting as a reporter and a citizen, directing and acting in a live-action VCR!

Reporter: Aunt, what impact do you think the smog has had on your life?
Citizen: You are fucking blind, I am your uncle!

Reporter: Ah!Hello, uncle, what are your thoughts on the smog in Northeast China?
Citizen: Can I speak Northeast dialect?

Reporter: Yes!
Citizen: Damn it, since the heating started, it’s time to go crazy and bury it. The Shabi experts praised Wu Wuxuanxuan, who doesn’t do anything. Those who go to Hun'er's painting can't look at Yin'er!

Reporter: Can you explain in Mandarin?
Citizens: Harmonious-democratic-democratic, charming Northeast China.

At this time, all the audience could only laugh, with various forms of laughter, various expressions, and various actions of wiping away tears.

Yang Shuo's face turned red from laughing, Gu Yating covered her stomach and lowered her head, she was already laughing so hard that she couldn't make a sound, and in the front row of the auditorium, all the guests present today, without exception, were all leaning forward and back together without any celebrity attitude.

Sun Feifei, who was waiting in the background, watched and applauded, smiling like a peony swaying in the wind.

……

"In fact, smog also has its benefits. It can effectively resolve disputes. Have you ever thought about this? For example, northerners are impulsive and have a bad temper."

Li Fan began with the following example:
Usually the Northeast people fight:
"What are you?"

"Look at you?"

"Try another look!"

"Just try it!"

Northeast people fight in smog:

"Are you sei?"

"What do you care about my sei?"

"I don't agree with you, come here!"

"Where are you putting it?!"

……

This talk show speech finally came to an end, Li Fan said: "It's the end of the show, and I want to write a song right now!"

"Qin Garden Spring Haze"

The scenery of the capital!

Thousands of miles are hazy, thousands of miles are dusty,
Looking inside and outside the third ring road, the thick fog is thick,

Up and down the International Trade Center, the haze is surging!
The car dances with a long snake, smoke locks the runway, wants to go to the sixth ring to speed up the car,
On a sunny day, clean the inside and outside of the car as much as possible.

The air is so bad that countless beauties wear masks,
Xi Yiyi covered his face, and his makeup was in vain!It's hard to tell how coquettish you are just by showing your eyes.

A generation of arrogance, the sky tower on the water, only see the foundation but not the waist.

The dust enters the lungs, and those who do not want to die even do morning exercises!

......"

In the end, unavoidable, it was still the routine of "laugh first, think later". Li Fan clicked the remote control, and the documentary "London Smog Incident" began to play on the big screen.

Li Fan took the opportunity to take a sip of water to moisten his throat.

On the big screen, a series of shocking numbers:

"London Smog Incident":
上个世纪50年代初，12月5日到12月8日：4天时间里，伦敦市死亡人数达5000人。

In the next two months, nearly 8000 people died of respiratory diseases due to the smog incident.

……

And dating back to the Victorian era, 1/4 of the deaths in the UK were related to air pollution.

……

The documentary on the big screen is heart-breaking and shocking.In the black-and-white video, the towering chimneys, the billowing smoke, the people walking fast, and the London citizens lying in the hospital, these scenes made the audience unable to laugh anymore.

After a brief VCR stop, Li Fan began to conclude: "This is the whole content of my talk show speech, well, there is no content, it is just nonsense, it is a joke, it is also a complaint, there is nothing deep.

You could even say my stand-up speeches are cheesy and crappy, well, that's fine!

I don't have any solution to the smog, because I am too humble, as light as a feather, and I am not as powerful and connected as those famous reporters to investigate and interview. .

I am humble and light-hearted, so I can only joke and talk nonsense like everyone here, otherwise, what can we do?

However, as humble as I am, I have a dream, and I believe you all have this dream, so let’s call it our common dream:
We hope that one day, old people can take a leisurely breath of fresh air outside;

We hope that in the future our children will not ask us, 'Mom and Dad, what does the sun look like! ';
We hope that the improvement of human living standards can be achieved under blue sky and white clouds;

……

And I personally hope that the tears that everyone laughs out today are not the sadness of facing worse weather tomorrow!
Thank you everyone, I am Li Fan, and my talk show speech is over! "

After Li Fan finished speaking, he straightened his face, bowed deeply to the audience, and then stood up and walked backstage!
wow——

Warm applause rang out in the auditorium!

Lots of standing ovations.

(End of this chapter)