The system asked me to be a teacher

Chapter 201 "Qinyuan Spring Shanghai Traffic Jam"

After writing a paragraph, Confucius and Mencius asked Preserved Egg: "Do you think it will be better if I do this?"

preserved egg:"……"

He really wanted to say, isn't it better for you?Don't you want to be too nice?
He really wanted to express his dissatisfaction again, but he could not, because Confucius and Mencius actually wrote two jokes on one matter at the same time.

The two jokes are similar but different, and each of them is of a very high standard, especially the last one, which is specially tailored for female talk show actors.

It was only at this time that Preserved Egg realized that when writing for Zheng Wanqing, she had to consider the fact that she was a woman.

Taking a deep breath, Pi Dan immediately let go of his modest pride. He scratched his head and smiled naively:
"Mr. Kong, I always thought that I had a lot of insight in talk shows, but after hearing what you said, I realized how far I am behind. Can you give me some pointers?"

——Receive Shu Xiu from Preserved Egg, +1000!

Hearing this, Kong Meng looked at the preserved egg in front of him and his eyes immediately changed.

Although the other party also asked him a question just now, the dissatisfaction on his face couldn't be hidden from his eyes.

He was willing to give advice, not because he abused good people, but because of Zheng Miao's face.

Unexpectedly, after realizing that he was not as good as himself, the other party's attitude directly took a 180° turn.

The sincerity of the attitude can be seen from the beam repair value received by the system.

+1000, this is the largest sum of repairs that Confucius and Mencius have received since the system was upgraded.

Modesty, hard work, sincerity, and no affectation, although this person has not shown any extraordinary ability, Confucius and Mencius believe that in time, there will be a place for him in the talk show world.

After thinking about it, Confucius said: "The inherent concept of talk shows is that one mouth talks all over the world, all over the world, with various forms and complex structures, which adds great difficulty to writing.

But in my opinion, as long as you can grasp the core of the problem, no matter how the problem changes, you will be able to handle it with ease. "

"Core?" Pi Dan frowned and thought for a while, "Is it a joke?"

Kong Meng nodded approvingly: "Yes, it can be a joke. But it's not all right. Although the talk show looks a bit like a modern version of cross talk, there are still differences between the two sides.

You can shake your burden to make people smile, or you can say golden sentences that are thought-provoking, and you can cook chicken soup to cook your feelings.

In short, no matter how it changes, it must have bright spots and characteristics.

If you can make the audience look happy at you, boo with you, and move with you, you will be successful.

for example……"

He slid down the screen of his mobile phone, and the second item was about the life details of a girl who made up her mind to lose weight.

However, the author of this article used extremely exaggerated techniques. For example, the girl only ate one apple a day, but after persisting for a week, she fainted due to hypoglycemia.

Then she took weight-loss pills, drank weight-loss tea, sauna enema, and finally had a weight-loss operation...

All in all it's a mess.

Confucius and Mencius asked: "To test you, if you were asked to write a joke about losing weight based on this news, how would you write it?"

As he spoke, he emphasized: "You don't need to make a long speech, just summarize it in one sentence."

Pidan thought for a while and said, "Fatty people have no future. No matter how beautiful your heart is, you are at most a good fat person?"

Confucius and Mencius shook his head: "Too bland, not shocking enough!"

Preserved eggs: "Scientific research shows that a fat person will live at least 15 years less than a thin person of the same age!"

Kong Meng: "...This is for you to write a talk show, not for you to scare people."

Pi Dan sweated profusely: "Uh, Teacher Kong, I'm a rather stupid person, so I won't be able to think of anything good for a while."

Confucius and Mencius thought for a while: "Many things are supported by eating, such as losing weight! How about it?"

Preserved egg didn't speak, just gave a thumbs up.

Confucius and Mencius continued to scroll down, and the third article introduced a single man who could not find a partner because of his poor family, so he complained why he was not the second generation of rich + second generation of officials.

He asked Preserved Egg to think about it again, but it turned out that Preserved Egg thought about it twice, and it was still not ideal, but it was better than the weight loss just now.

"Mr. Kong, why don't you say it!" He almost gave up.

Confucius and Mencius said: "You can't have both fish and bear's paw, but you can be single and poor."

Preserved egg: "...wait a moment, let me take a note."

Now he is completely convinced.

He is not afraid of not knowing the goods, but he is afraid of comparing goods. After the interaction between the two, he has deeply realized the gap between himself.

Confucius and Mencius went on to say a few more, each of which was full of wit and wit.

Now not only Preserved Dan and Zheng Wanqing, but also Lin Xiaoyu, Fang Qiong, and even Zheng Miao, who likes to bicker with my sister-in-law, all surrounded her.

Seeing that it was almost the same, Confucius and Mencius said to the preserved egg: "Just like this, before you write your lines, you can first extract what you think is funny or trendy, and then make foreshadowing, supplements and explanations. Think more, I believe you will Can write great jokes."

"Mr. Kong, thank you so much!" The admiration on Pi Dan's face was already numb.

It's just that as a studious person, he knows that opportunities like this one are very rare, and if he misses it, he will never have the chance to ask for advice, so he has the cheek to refuse to give up:

"Mr. Kong, you just said that there are various forms of talk shows, can you tell me about it? It won't take up too much of your time, just 5 minutes."

"This... depends on your own performance. For example, in a 45-minute show, if you keep talking about it, the audience will easily get tired.

Therefore, in the middle of the program, you can consider adding some poetry recitations, and those who can sing can also sing a song related to the theme. "

"Poetry recitation? Choose from existing ancient poems?"

Confucius and Mencius thought for a while, then shook his head and said, "If it's poetry, it's best not to, because although ancient poetry has the beauty of rhythm, it doesn't match the humorous and interesting form of entertainment like talk show. You can choose to write it yourself. .”

"Do it yourself?" Pi Dan's face became bitter again, "I don't have that literary skills."

Confucius and Mencius: "You misunderstood. What I mean by poetry is not to let you write classics, but to adapt the rhythm of the original ancient poems, so as to achieve an effect similar to that of jokes."

"Adaptation? Similar to jokes? See if you can... Hehe..."

Kongmeng was helpless, this guy...

He had no choice but to take out his mobile phone again, and this time it was a news about the traffic jam in Shanghai.

As the country's leading economic metropolis, there are many people and vehicles in Shanghai, and traffic jams are inevitable. Anyway, it is all kinds of tragedies and pitfalls.

Sure enough, this message was followed by complaints from netizens:

"Nimma, it's been stuck in traffic for seven hours."

"Dude, who can describe the feeling of being stuck in traffic in one sentence?"

Best answer: "Young and Xiao leave home and the boss returns!"

"I was so anxious that I couldn't bear it anymore, so I solved it in the car. Now the door of my beloved car is still dripping, and the most depressing thing is that a kid next to me kindly knocked on my car door, saying that the water tank of my car is cracked, woo woo Woo..."

"What do you mean? There is a girl in the car next door called Meng. She put a black plastic bag on her head, then got out of the car gracefully, and dealt with it directly on the side of the road; there are pictures and the truth. jpg!"

"Uh……"

After browsing, Kong Meng took a deep breath and opened the virtual keyboard.

This time the preserved egg learned to be smart, I saw him stretching his neck and staring at the phone screen.

As the other party typed, he couldn't help but read aloud:

""Qinyuanchun·Shanghai Traffic Jam"

The scenery of Shanghai, thousands of miles of people flow, thousands of miles of traffic.

Looking at the streets and alleys, crawling slowly like a turtle, in front of the steering wheel, the driver is anxious.

At the intersection, I don’t move for a long time, and I often urinate at the red light.

Staying on the weekend, watching the scenic spot bus, tourists laugh.

The traffic is so busy that it attracts countless local tyrants to compete.

Pity the Audi A9, slow as a snail.

Mercedes-Benz BMW, nowhere to go crazy.

A generation of pride, Lamborghini, tears watching eDonkey overtake the car.

Let's go, count the shared bicycles, and laugh while pedaling! "

(End of this chapter)