Qingqingmoshangmulberry

Chapter 20 The courtyard is deep and deep

I became a freelancer.When I am happy, I paint casually, and when I am not happy, I carry my portfolio and travel around, and my life is very carefree.

Mrs. Phillips put me in touch with several galleries.Sometimes my paintings are also sold on consignment with them.

I'm not having a good day or a bad day.

I occasionally go to coffee bars and jazz clubs in Soho with those so-called emerging artists, and I get tired after a long time.I'm not easygoing enough to fit in that kind of atmosphere.

My friend Carl said, I have a pair of wandering and vicissitudes of eyes, I always look on with cold eyes, which makes people fearful.

And I originally thought that for a long life, I would always live like this.

It's just that I didn't expect that there are two words called reincarnation in the world.

One day, I sent a painting to the gallery, and on the way back, I passed by a flower shop. My heart moved, I parked the car and went in to buy a bunch of begonias.

I'm afraid that the flowers will fall asleep late at night, so I burn high candles to illuminate the red makeup.It seems to be Su Dongpo's words, which my mother said before she was alive.

For so many years, she has never regretted it.She is just unwilling.

I was just about to drive, when I heard someone calling me, I hesitated: "...Mei...Ruotang?"

It's actually Chinese.

I turned around in surprise, and saw a somewhat strange, handsome face, and I hesitated: "You are..."

His eyes lit up, and he immediately said happily, "I'm Yu Chengbang, don't you remember?" He looked at the crabapple beside me, and said half-jokingly, "Even if you forget me, you probably won't forget me." Will you forget that when you returned to China four years ago, an unwelcome fool gave you countless bouquets of flowers like this?"

I remembered.That dude.However, I actually smiled: "Ah, it's you." When people are in a foreign land, seeing their compatriots is more or less happy.Even though I used to hate him so much.Hate him for being flirtatious, self righteous and philistine.

He looked at me: "Long time no see, how are you? How is your mother?"

I smiled, "I'm fine, my mother," I said calmly, "she's passed away."

He said "Oh", and something flashed in his eyes: "I'm sorry." He said politely, "Since it's so rare, can I treat you to a light meal?"

I was about to politely decline when a 27-year-old young woman came from the other side of the street.She glanced at Yu Chengbang first, then turned to look at me for a moment.There is no smile on her face, her eyes are fierce.I had some points in my heart, and I stood quietly watching.

Sure enough, after she looked me up and down, she turned to Yu Chengbang: "Didn't you say it will only be a while, why is it so long?" Her voice was actually very pleasant, as round and smooth as hers, but a little domineering.

Yu Chengbang frowned slightly: "Let me introduce, Mei Ruotang," he nodded, "This is my wife."

I smiled: "Hello." Then I looked at my watch, "Sorry, I still have something to do, I have to go first." My tone was indescribably perfunctory, "I will contact you later."

Almost the next day, I forgot about this chance encounter.But, I didn't expect Yu Chengbang to come to the door not long after.It turned out that he came to London to study business, and his wife left a one-year-old child to accompany him.

I have no interest in their couple's story, and I'm equally blatant about his burnout.I have always been extremely indifferent to strangers, he is not worth my time, I started to avoid him.But fate is so ridiculous.

One day, I fainted at home, and it happened that Yu Chengbang came again and sent me to the hospital in time.After I was discharged from the hospital, I had to thank him because of my feelings.Very cliche, I invite him to dinner.I invited the couple, but he was the only one who came. He said apologetically, "My wife can't come because of something."

I smiled: "It's okay." It's just a meal, it's not worth worrying about.

That night, he talked a lot, and I struggled to cope with it until he said that sentence: "It's really a happy event, and it's a miracle that Uncle He's illness has lasted until now."

My heart moved slightly.

He looked at me and smiled meaningfully: "You don't know yet, He Linfu just married Lin'er." There was a bang in my head, I looked at the glass of wine in front of me, and took a sip.

bitter.

I looked up, I smiled, and I heard my own voice say, "Really? That's good." Really, good.Isn't that what I want to see?Happy marriage, blossom and bear fruit.I continued to smile: "When you see Uncle He, remember to congratulate him for me." The so-called mask is nothing more than that.

The subject quickly changed.

After that night, I don't remember everything.

When Linfu and I were together, we were young, full of impulsive energy, and had a lot of opportunities to overcome danger.At the beginning, Linfu was reserved, and I was young, always shy after looking at each other. Later, we lived together every day, but we both had psychological barriers.

So, when I woke up the next morning, I was almost out of my mind!Even now, when I write such words, my hands are still shaking, and my heart is still weeping in embarrassment!
I rinse like crazy, but I can't clean the dirt!Yu Chengbang, he did it on purpose, and he made no secret of his deliberation: "Mei Ruotang, I told myself four years ago that I must have you, at any cost!" He looked at me quietly , "Do you think I came to London by chance? Do you think I saw you by chance? Why does she follow me every step of the way?" He slowly smiled, "Mei Ruotang, He Linfu is not the only man in the world."

My reaction was to rush forward and slap him hard twice.

I disappeared for two whole months.

In the office, lawyers often asked, "Miss Mei, did you leave any evidence?" After a while, he stood up, "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you."

In the hospital, the doctor kindly said, "Congratulations."

……

Two months later, I came back.

The first person I saw at the door was Yu Chengbang, he stood up immediately when he saw me: "Where have you been?" I passed him blankly.When I see him, I can't help but want to vomit.

He stopped me: "You look bad." He looked at me, "Are you okay?" I didn't look at him, and said word by word: "Get out!" Instead of moving away, he approached me, his voice Almost certainly, "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

I bit my lip, I tasted a strong smell of blood.After a while, I slammed the door hard, but I couldn't get rid of the chilling words outside the door: "Mei Ruotang, either you accuse me of rape and convict me, or," he said word by word, "you put After the child is born, I will divorce and marry you."

I'll marry you.

Four years ago, Linfu told me the most touching love words.At that moment, I even thought I was in heaven.

And now, I'm in hell.I have already fallen into hell.

No doctor would give me an abortion.I stayed at home and my belly got bigger and bigger every day.I had to use all my strength to keep myself from collapsing.

But that day, I received that letter——

Ruotang, I know I'm dying, if I don't say some things, I will never have a chance.

I asked Fang Jiaxuan to come to you, and I know you won't be able to get over that hurdle.I finally looked forward to my son's return.Sorry, daughter, I can only keep one forever.

Mrs. Philip, I entrusted her to take care of you. I know that your life is stable now. If you are willing to return to China, I will die with peace.

Don't blame your mother.All crimes and punishments are my retribution.

Now, my retribution has finally come.

Never, never, never forgive me.

I tore it to pieces.

I believe that when a person is about to die, his words are also good.I just don't believe in fate.

She played with me like crazy, time and time again.

I approached an elderly woman who had been a barefoot doctor in mainland China without a license to practice medicine. I promised her a large sum of money, which she reluctantly agreed to.However, the moment I lay down, I clearly felt throbbing in my abdomen.

I can even feel that he (she) is kicking me, bit by bit, from bottom to top.

The doctor took out the surgical forceps blankly, the sound hit my eardrum, harsh and unpleasant.I listened, and suddenly, I jumped down barefoot and ran outside without looking back.

My child, I decided to keep him (her).

I have walked the same path as my mother, and I will take good care of him (her) and not repeat the same mistakes.

After three days and three nights of pain, I finally gave birth to a baby girl.

She doesn't have a father, it's enough for her to have me.In order to avoid Yu Chengbang's entanglement, I secretly moved out of my original residence long ago.

However, he can always find me.He comes uninvited every day, and he deliberately pleases me.I turn a blind eye.I know what he's thinking, I don't tell him because I don't want to despise myself.

I named my daughter Sang Xiao.She was born in filth, but I hope she can be as ordinary as Mulberry, but self-respecting and self-improving.

As I expected, Mrs. Yu came to see me.I also turned a blind eye, she didn't beat around the bush, she didn't curse, she just said lightly: "Well, the slightly sunken eye sockets unique to the Yu family." She smiled, "It's better to let Chengbang find some friends with you every now and then." If you don’t have a very similar woman, it’s better to let him get what he wants.”

My fingers sank deep into the sheets, and all blood was lost.I have never seen a person who can say such vile and shameless things so naturally.

She looked at me: "You look down on me?" She smiled playfully, "Mei Ruotang, do you think you can easily get rid of Yu Chengbang? You are so naive. How much effort has he spent on you these past few years?" I'm scared for you just thinking about it." She turned pale, "You still don't know how that little star died, do you? I'd rather he let go after playing for a while as before, but I didn't expect him to really come here this time. Yes, you even asked to divorce me."

I turned my head out the window.

She didn't care about my indifference, and her voice was still so nice: "I'm not here to see you. I just want to remind you that without me, you can't do what you want to do." She bent down, without warning Stretching out my finger, gently stroking Xiaoxiao's sleeping face, I looked at her full of vigilance.After a while, she raised her head, "You might as well think about it."

Under her arrangement, I fled the UK hastily alone.The only negotiation condition she has with me is that I go and Xiao Xiao stays.

I took her cue.Yu Chengbang secretly investigated me, including...

I can't let this little man ruin everything that has returned to peace.

It is my eternal regret in this life that I failed to take Xiaoxiao away.But at the time, I had no choice.

A year later, when I could come back, they had disappeared from my life along with Xiao Xiao.She told me categorically on the overseas phone: "You don't need to worry about what methods I used, I can at least guarantee that Yu Chengbang will never come to harass you again. Also," she paused, and said lightly, "Yu Sangxiao is The daughter I gave birth to in London, as for the others, at least for now, I can't make any promises to you."

She hasn't contacted me since.

My daughter has been separated from me by a vast sea of ​​people ever since.I am more unqualified, more indifferent and selfish than my mother.

I spend all my time on painting, I work hard to make money, I managed to get my only distant cousin, An Hong, who stayed in China, to go to Yu's house as a helper, I dreamed that my daughter could come back to me one day side.

Later, Fang Anhang came to rent my house. He was a simple but talented young man with a rough life experience. I spared no effort to help him, just like Mrs. Philip spared no effort to help me back then.With the world people.

In a blink of an eye, ten years have passed.I saved up a fortune, and I decided to go back to China and my daughter.Although An Hong never said much, I knew that Xiao Xiao was having a bad time.My heart hurts so badly.

I can't wait any longer, the doctor told me that I have stomach cancer due to long-term overwork.

I finally returned to China.When I came back last time, I was a young girl with curly hair. Now I am middle-aged, suffering from illness and worrying a lot.

I did not go to see He Linfu.

One day I always forget that I thought I was in love until death.

It's better to forget than to remember the past.

Fortunately, I have a daughter.

I finally met Yu Chengbang again.He didn't seem to be surprised by my sudden appearance, he just said coldly, "What are you here for?" I pushed the check in front of him, and said bluntly, "I want Sang Xiao." He stared coldly for a while, I could see the light in his eyes flashed, but in the end, he lit a cigarette and crossed his legs: "Haven't you not wanted her for a long time?
I resisted the discomfort from my stomach, and said coldly, "Yu Chengbang, offer your conditions." I never misread his nature.

He actually squinted his eyes and smiled: "My conditions?" He puffed a smoke ring into the sky, "Didn't I tell you my conditions ten years ago? It's a pity that you abandoned them like a broken broom. And you, Isn't it too late to think of talking to me about the conditions now?"

I still didn't look at him: "As far as I know, the current financial situation of the Yu family is very bad. Although the money I brought is not enough to get you out of trouble completely, it is more than enough to turn around for a while." I stood up, "Think about it, I can wait."

I didn't wait too long. Three days later, the Yu brothers came to look for me.They obviously came prepared, and as soon as they sat down, Yu Dingbang straight to the point: "Mei Ruotang, we have considered your proposal, but there are some small problems."

I sat quietly, waiting for his next words.Yu Chengbang didn't speak up himself, but Yu Dingbang, who was cunning and calculating, came forward. It seemed that they had already made up their minds.

He took a sip of tea and said slowly, "Speaking of which, Sang Xiao has lived in Yu's family for ten years. We have been together for so long. It doesn't make sense for you to say that if you want to bring back your daughter, we have to give it to you with both hands." Makes sense, right?"

I am silent and contemptuous.No one knows better than them that Sang Xiao is the only bargaining chip with me.From the day I came back, they hid her tightly. I have been to their school several times, but I have never been able to see her.The students said that the cousin has been with her for the past few days.

After a long silence, I said clearly and simply: "What else?"

Yu Dingbang smiled and said appreciatively: "Okay, I just like to deal with smart people." He still lowered his head and looked at the tea leaves swirling in the cup, as if he could never get enough of them, "I heard that you are a little rich man in England." Famous painter."

He paused, just a few seconds, enough for me to understand what he meant.

I also bowed my head, the tea was very bitter, which made me sober: "How many pictures do you want?"

For painters, paintings are life.I can die.

He nodded: "Okay," he squinted his eyes, and simply said, "Twenty pictures." I also simply said: "Okay." Word by word, "I hope that when I come back next time, I will only see Sang Xiao alone."

I rushed back without stopping, selected the paintings according to Yu Dingbang's request, and mailed them over.And just as I was about to leave, I started coughing up blood.The doctor told me that if the operation is performed now, the life expectancy can be extended by at least three to five years, and if not, it will be three to five months.

I would rather live less and see my daughter as soon as possible.

However, Fang Anhang stopped me. He was younger than me, but far calmer than me: "If you really love Sang Xiao, you should cherish your life for her instead of being arrogant." He said almost without thinking, "I can go back to my country." I think with him.Yes, he has graduated, and many domestic universities are willing to hire him.However, he is not someone to me, and I cannot accept such a gift.I strongly refused, but he retorted stronger than me: "Ruotang, there is always something you can't control."

For the first time in so many years, he spoke so bluntly.

Lying weakly on the hospital bed, I looked at him and smiled.Should I be glad that in my ten years of pale life, I can still meet such a man who values ​​love and righteousness.

I said clearly, "No," I reached out to hold him, "If there are two words called luck in this world, I hope to see her with you."

I finally agreed to stay for the operation, and Fang Anhang stayed with me all the time.Later, when I was lying on the hospital bed unable to move, he flew back to China, found an opportunity to get close to Sang Xiao, and secretly took some photos for me to see.

The second time, when he came back, he brought a message: "Ruotang, I want to tell you something."

I don't know why, since the surgery, I've been so weak that it's hard to nod, but I still managed to open my eyes and look at him.

He looked at me, eyes full of pain, he shook his head: "Forget it."

I seemed to have a premonition: "You say." I believe that there is one person in the world who will not lie to me.

He took a deep breath and nodded: "Rumors are usually unreliable. However, Lin Qingqiao told me that the largest logistics company in the local area had internal strife." He paused, looked at me, and said softly, "Simply speaking, someone Change fate for a painting."

There was a blast in my head.The scene from ten years ago came back to my mind again.At that time, in order to survive, I was ignorant and fearless, and I learned a lot of lessons. I didn't expect that ten years later, it would happen again.I calmly said, "Please, be careful and tell me everything."

I never thought that human nature would be so despicable.

I didn't expect that the Yu family would be in such a miserable situation.

I didn't even expect that the mantis catches the cicada and the oriole follows, the brotherhood is as thin as paper.

I told my lawyer: "Don't worry, I will make it to that day." After a few days, he relayed to me the simple reply of the Yu brothers: "If you still want to return your daughter, if you don't want your own family affairs and If the scandal is exposed, just shut up obediently."

My answer is simpler: shit!

I have nothing, and compared to their Yu family, I am more open-minded. Even if I crawl back to China step by step with my sick body, I will seek skin from tigers and seek justice for innocent people.

I struggled on the hospital bed for three months, always paying attention to the news that came.

My high legal fees were not in vain.The Yu family spit out their ill-gotten gains, and I deeply regret that someone else ultimately benefited.I can not do anything.

However, I never saw my daughter again.

I am terminally ill.I sigh deeply.

All my life, until today, I have no father, no mother, no husband.The only daughter, also does not know my existence.

My life has been a complete failure.

A crushing defeat.

He Linfu finally got the news that I was seriously ill and flew to London to see me.He was too old, his temples were gray, he looked at me, held my hand, and burst into tears.

I smiled, opened my mouth, and opened my mouth again, but in the end I still didn't tell him about Sang Xiao.

Forgive my vanity, I just want to have the last bit of self-respect in front of him.

In this world, the so-called eternity is only because we have not had time to see its disillusionment.

(End of this chapter)