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Chapter 757 Chapter 750 Five · "Pioneering Undead (3)"

Akto's impression on Su Ming'an has always been the pinnacle of human wisdom - all kinds of modifiers are piled up on Akto, no matter how complicated it is.

However, I don't know why - in this memory, Su Ming'an felt that Akto was just a young man who was bound by responsibilities and was out of breath, very similar to himself.

Perhaps it was because he looked at Actor mostly from the perspective of a bystander.

No one can approach his heart.

……

[In the trolley problem, the hated person is always the one who pulls the trolley pole, not the tram that runs over life. 】

[Only when you know very little, cognition will not produce contradictions. 】

[But I know everything. 】

【So I will replace people, take the initiative to face conflicts, and bear the pain for the ignorant. 】

Sitting at the wooden table again, you write in your diary.Today is the 87th day of the war.

You have become people's devout faith.

Your speeches are always passionate and contagious, your words are always demagogic, and the human beings around you are always in an endless stream. Every time the war is over, you will encourage people to never give up.

You gradually got used to titles such as "God" and "Incarnation of the Will of the World". You sit in this position, use your reputation and fame to allocate resources, command the army, and push the lives of soldiers to the appropriate positions to sacrifice for the sake of your life. Fighting for the "survival of the majority".

More and more deaths make you silent, except for appeals and appeals, you hardly say a word to familiar people.

You become farther and farther away from normal human beings, your personality is completely alienated, and your emotions become indifferent. Even if you laugh, you feel that this is an apology for the dead.

Noah's white bird is rubbing against your shoulder, and your diary is half written.

Under the dim light, your eyebrows and eyes are dim.

……

[I should face up to my sins, but not indulge in them, because I have accepted the position of "God". 】

["God" cannot be dominated by emotion, I need to overlook the overall situation with absolute rationality. 】

[I am Asa Actor. 】

[The co-lord of mankind, the embodiment of civilization, the will of the world. 】

【I need to hypnotize myself like this. 】

[Until the war is completely over. 】

[There are always people who love me because of my strength. 】

[There are also people who hate me because of my decisions. 】

[It doesn't matter, I will treat their dislikes and joys equally.Because Xi said...Only I am the most suitable for this position. 】

[Don't stay away, don't dodge, don't escape. 】

……

"—Why did you make such a decision! Are their lives so worthless in your eyes?"

"——Why did you watch Shanshan die! Do you still feel pain? Do you remember their names?"

"——When you made the decision to detonate the entire city, did you feel a little guilty in your heart? Would you shed tears for those residents who died in the city?"

When it was sunny, when you finished your speech, a few hoarse civilians rushed up.

"Bold! How dare you disrespect the leader!" The soldiers pushed them away, but you just raised your hand to stop the soldiers and let these civilians rush in front of you.

When challenged, you explain the decision in rational terms:

"That's right, according to the situation in Karl TC, the reactionary forces have occupied three-quarters of the Kinsey block..."

Then, you comfort the other party with emotional words:

"I deeply regret the deaths of your family members. I also lost many compatriots in this war. Please believe..."

Their expressions changed from anger to confusion, to sadness, and they began to sob.

In the end, these people hug you by the sleeve and cry.

"I'm sorry, my lord."

"Master God, we only have you, only you..."

You comfort them and leave the podium.

People always believe you blindly in their desperate moments, and as the one who pulls the trolley pole, you always carry the thorns in their eyes.

They don't take your position into account, they don't weigh your decisions.Some people even want to assassinate you, thinking that as long as you die, their relatives can come back.

In their eyes, they only have you.

—but whose sleeve can you hold and weep bitterly?
When you're exhausted, you pull out your journal.

[Don't care, don't complain. 】

[Consistency with the status quo is the last bottom line for those who have not completely surrendered. 】

[The process is just a phrase in the mouth of philosophers and historians.Who can put themselves in their shoes and think, what should I do now? 】

[No one can.No one can be Asa Actor. 】

【No one can put on my shoes and think about things from my point of view.They can't see the continuation of civilization, they just curse me for pulling the trolley pole. 】

【What does it matter? 】

[Ridication is the ode of mediocrity to excellence. 】

After writing this, you face the diary.

You find that the paper is wet with an unknown liquid, and you don't want to admit that it is tears.

You sit numbly in the chair.

It's like becoming a solidified empty shell.

……

On the 132nd day of the war, you took out the dawn system.

This is the second hand you get during the cataclysm.Once it is turned on, human beings will start the journey of dimensionality reduction, and there is no way out.

The human population has plummeted, and you have to consider whether to turn it on - it's a risky move.It is very likely that human beings will drop again and again on this road of dimensionality reduction, and even civilization will become extinct.

You thought for a long time about whether to activate the dawn system, and finally called your eight companions and held a meeting.

"Guys, should we turn it on?"

On the long table, you are sitting at the head, holding a blood-red heart in your hand.

The dawn system is a Pandora's box. If it is opened, it means that human beings will completely retreat from the [three-dimensional] and hide collectively in the [two-dimensional].Zhuang Zhou dreamed of a butterfly, a butterfly dreamed of Zhuang Zhou.Human beings are equivalent to sinking into an unreal dream. They have changed from lingering human beings to butterflies stepping into the new spring.

Butterflies are dancing, no one sees the world outside the cage, they only see the flower clusters on the cage.

This is a beautiful but cruel dream that you have woven with your own hands.

Your companions discussed it and decided to leave the choice to you.

You can't make decisions, you can only temporarily seal the dawn system.

In the shadows, you slit your left arm, an act that gives you peace.

……

Day 143 of the war.

You make many decisions alone, without telling your companions, and forever alone.Just like they don't know, what you need to activate the dawn system is your life.

"Asa, when the war is settled, we will go to see many, many scenery in the future."

Hearing this voice, you hastily closed the "Dawn System Plan" in front of you to avoid being seen by the other party.

A gentle young man with blue hair came up to you, staring at you with his blue eyes.This young man is Kai.

However, Qi doesn't know that in your plan, if the dawn system is activated, you will die, and there is no "later" carefully planned by Qikou.

"Okay." You said: "There will be many beautiful scenery."

"When the time comes, I want to hear you play the piano." Qi sat beside you and handed you a chocolate popsicle.

You just realize it's already summer.You have even forgotten the changing seasons now.

Kai always likes to give you some sweet things, such as chocolate, lemon candy, ice cream, he said it will make you feel better.

He is a very gentle person, loves to laugh, loves to talk, and always makes you feel at ease.In the league, he was an excellent diplomat.

"I can't play the piano anymore," you respond.

Your heart... seems to have become a wasteland.

Art, music, emotion...

"It's ok."

他 说:

"I can play the harp for you, as long as you like. When the war ends, I hope you can listen carefully to the wind in spring. The sound of nature is better than any musical instrument."

His voice is like the melting moonlight, making people feel honey-like sweetness.

"Okay." You made a false promise to him.

After he left, you looked at his back.

The blood-colored sunlight fell on the interface you reopened, and a line of "Dawn System Sacrifice Plan" glowed with blood-gold thorns.

"..."

You are silent, press your fingers on the keyboard, and continue to improve the text structure of the [two-dimensional] world.

If you didn't come up with the dawn system, you might really do this-after the war is over, you and your companions will make an appointment to swim together in the spring and spend the rest of your life together in peace.

You really do think so.

I really hoped so.

You opened your sleeves, and there were hundreds of cuts on your arms.

……

[The thing I regret most is that I don’t have enough feelings about the world. I haven’t experienced more stories, experienced more people’s feelings, and seen more scenery. 】

[I am 19 years old. 】

[I gradually lose my memory of the appearance of the first person who died before my eyes. 】

On the 176th day of the war, you start taking medicine.

This is the "mental stabilization potion" developed by Tretia, which can help you maintain the best mental outlook and prevent people from seeing your tired appearance.

The gods do not allow fatigue, and you know that.

You often hold the palms of the dying, close the eyes of the dead, whisper the names on the tombstones, and take away their last wishes and hatred.

In the long war, it seems that there is only one concept of "death" left in your world - 'those who are about to die', 'those who have not yet died', 'those who have just died', 'those who have been dead for a long time'...

Everyone is walking on a road leading to "death", and you stand aside, empty-handed, unable to hold anyone back.

——Obviously I am used to seeing death, but I am still so sad.No matter how many times you witness this kind of thing, you cannot remain unmoved.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

One day, when you were collecting the remains of the deceased, you looked at Xi aside wearily.You notice that she is looking at you in a strange way.

Xi's black pupils widen slightly, and she answers you:
"You only have death in your eyes, Akto."

You blinked and opened your mouth, unable to say a word, suddenly choked up in your throat.

After witnessing so many deaths, there is only one "death" left in you.

The surviving lives are scattered like fireflies bit by bit.Some people lose their lives before they even really have their own.

Every life is like a heavy weight, you regard them as the sins you committed, carry them on your back, and walk down deep and shallow.

You smiled day and night, comforted her a few words, and turned around.

No one sees the desolation on your face.

You gritted your teeth, and buried your head between your knees where no one was looking, as if your figure was about to be crushed by tears.

But how can you cry...

A leader cannot cry...

……

"Noah, are you afraid that I will forget you?"

On the 182nd day of the war, you sat in the gazebo full of wisteria and asked Noah.

"Afraid." Noah said, his eyes were like blue sea-colored nebulae: "Although I don't agree with your ideas, I like you as a person."

Noah has lost a lot of weight, but his eyebrows and eyes still have pride.

You feel that the distance between him and you is getting farther and farther.

Noah is a very proud man in nature, his ideas and will are firmly defined.His unruly and rebellious spirit is reflected in his soul, and your ideals are departing from him.

"I used to respect you very much, but I don't know why, but now I'm a little afraid of you." Noah said.

"I've let you down by becoming such a person." You said, "I'm very sorry."

Flowing water and wind are like hanging wisteria leaves under the virtual influence of the courtyard.In the silence, there are only the echoes of the two of you.

He stroked the white bird in his arms, turned around, and walked away from you completely.

You don't know where he went.

Maybe he went to his ideal Gensokyo.

(8/9)

……

Day 204 of the war.

Your black hair grows and cuts, cuts and grows, the emotion in your eyes becomes more and more indifferent, and the source light gathers more and more on your body, like a pair of platinum wings.

Every time you fight until you are exhausted, you will repeat the names of your companions over and over again.Most are living companions.

Later, you have no name to pronounce.

You can order everyone to fight for you, or watch them die for it.You are guilty of watching these burning resentments.Human civilization has no end, and the bones of countless people push you to walk.

— but you will always remember that day.

The silver-haired woman fell under the gunfire, like a broken glass bottle. Her limbs were torn off, and her white bones were exposed. The oil paint written on her face clearly expressed the enemy's malice towards her.It read "This woman is subject to sinners and therefore deserves to die".

It was the people she saved who killed her.

Because she was your companion, she was killed.

"I haven't... found... my love."

Her face looked up to the sky, her eyes were filled with bewilderment and confusion, as if she didn't understand why someone pierced her body.Cruel humanity tore her apart.

How fragile human beings are.

A little malice, a piece of sharp metal, can destroy a person.Their numbers are so huge, and their individuals are so small.

Looking at Yue's dead body, it's like something is cracking inside of you.The smell of wine on the ground makes you cough violently and choke on tears.

"Why do I have to carry so many undead?"

You can't help but think.

"Why do you want me to see such a purgatory?"

"Why do you want me to become... such a 'god'?"

You pursed your lips tightly, locked your palpitations and shouts in your chest, and the blood in your whole body seemed to flow out.

As if his soul had been sucked away, his breathing was slightly tight, and his temples throbbed wildly.

The gods cannot shed tears, you drank the wine she collected and got drunk all night in a pool of blood.

You buried her under the moonlight and spilled wine on her tombstone.

(7/9)

(End of this chapter)