Cross talk: There is no size on the stage, and a new grave is built under the stage

The audience was not unhappy when they heard that Qi Yuncheng would say more. It would have been their best luck not to refund their tickets until Qi Yuncheng came to perform. Now that they have to say more, they are really excited about tonight's cross talk.

But the actors still have to perform, so they immediately calm down the atmosphere and get to the point.

"Today we are talking about a place. This place is a factory. We will not go into details about what kind of factory it is. Deyun Society has offended people enough over the years.

I'm afraid that if I listen to it later, someone will file a property report immediately.

These people who file complaints can file complaints countless times a year. Some polluting companies around us do not complain like this. "

Qi Yuncheng stood behind the table and complained casually, and this was indeed the truth.

"There are more than 1000 people in the factory, regardless of size. There is a small conference room on the second floor of the factory. There are three people in the conference room studying things around the table and holding a meeting.

who?
There are deputy factory directors, office directors, and a general affairs department who takes care of some things. "

"The three of us will have a small meeting to study things. What are they studying?" Qi Yuncheng looked at the audience and asked himself, "It's the end of the year. Everyone who has worked there knows that you have to write a year-end summary and then report it to the company.

The company will report to the bureau, and the bureau will report to the bureau. One layer after another is very important.

As for the content, it is nothing more than talking about the situation in the factory and how the production is going, but it also needs to be discussed carefully. "

Qi Yuncheng raised his hand as if to drink water. He was about to talk about the content of the meeting when he suddenly turned his head and said, "At this time, someone wanted to call the accountant. Before they could be called, someone came in.

This person is wearing work clothes. The factory-issued work clothes are quite dirty.Working on the assembly line in the factory, nothing is clean, and I wear white gloves on my hands.

When he came in, he didn't go inside or sit at the table. He just sat on the chair by the door.This man was in his thirties. He didn't cough, speak, or move after sitting there. He just sat there. "

Qi Yuncheng crossed his arms, his face unwavering, imitating this person's state.

After finishing the lesson, his expression changed to one of great surprise and confusion, "The three of them didn't know what was going on at first glance, but they thought in their hearts that this person is a nice person, very polite, he doesn't disturb him if he has something to do, and he knows they are in a meeting.

Ignoring him, the deputy director began to speak: This...attendance rate, let's write an attendance rate of 90.00% eight, and workers' benefits will increase by 60.00% compared to last year...six.

Forget it, 60.00% eight!By the way, we didn’t give you any mooncakes for the New Year when we retire, so what should we do?
It's okay, it's okay, the office director has spoken, Lao Sui?I gave it last year and this year?Let’s just write it down and send it off. "

Qi Yuncheng picked up the fan from the table and used the fan as a pen to write seriously. But suddenly he raised his head and asked, "It says gift? But how much?"
Isn’t there more than 50 people? There are more than 50 people, and you can write a thousand catties. "

At this point, smiles appeared on the faces of the audience below. Can this good guy finish eating?What about feeding livestock?

Putting down his fan, Qi Yuncheng turned his head and saw something, "Just as I was writing this, the man at the door suddenly stood up and left without saying a word. The three of them thought that he might be looking for one of the three of us, but maybe the director.

The director must have thought about it and asked the General Affairs Department.

The general affairs department must have been looking for the deputy director. He knew the deputy director and saw that the meeting was going on so he left without disturbing him.

After they left, the three of them had to continue their research in the afternoon, and several people were sitting here again in the afternoon. "

Qi Yuncheng straightened his back, his momentum increased, as if a leader was giving a report, "Everyone, listen, our output value this year... the profit has increased to 90.00, [-]% compared to last year.

Forget it, don’t be 90.00%, 90.00% won’t work, it looks too fake.

40.00% seven.Yes, an increase of 40.00% over last year.

As for our consumption, waste, and what we use... it should be 15.00% saved compared to last year. "

Just as he said that, Qi Yuncheng's expression became astonished again, "Hey, here we go again? Sitting there again, taking off the gloves, still at the doorway position in the morning.

No words or words.

The deputy director continued: Yes, we have child benefits, and the worker’s holiday benefits are written down...

Just as he was talking, the man who was sitting there went out again, coming twice in the morning and afternoon.

I had to study it the next morning. After I finished the study, I would find the accountant to study it again. Before I could study it, the accountant came in again, took off his white gloves, and sat there.

No one looked or spoke. "

Qi Yuncheng continued to cross his arms over his chest, with an expressionless face, which made people think that this character was not simple.

Because of this, the actor suddenly changed to a few people in the meeting, and he was a little timid, and quickly cleared someone's throat, "Um... what the director, where is the list from yesterday?

I'm taking it with me.

Good for me. "

Qi Yuncheng took something and looked sideways at one side and asked, "Who are you looking for?

The one who finally spoke, me?I'm not looking for anyone.

Are you alright?

Nothing.

It's okay. You've been here several times. What are you doing? "

Qi Yuncheng was obviously a little rude, but he acted very calmly and said slowly, "I just want to learn how to tell lies!!"

Hahahahaha!
Laughter spread. The most essence of this stand-up was the last sentence, which was very ironic.

But the cross talk doesn't end here, let's continue telling some jokes.

His kind of performance is completely spontaneous and not fixed, so it is a pleasure to listen to it in a small theater.

Or just like the students at the beginning, telling a few jokes about Coca-Cola.

Qi Yuncheng now feels a bit like he has returned to his original aspiration. Back then, he was also forced to go on stage to give a few short segments.

"Next, let me tell you a joke. You will definitely feel happy after hearing it. Not only did we just talk about a factory, but now we have a director. It doesn't matter what director he is, he is not a small official anyway.

The director went off to check on the sanitation. It was a festival, so he had to symbolically visit places and units to see what the festival atmosphere was like and how the sanitation was.

Where to check?Go to a hotel or guest house.

As soon as the director entered the hall..."

Qi Yuncheng asked around, but when he did, he had a bad expression on his face, "When I went in and took a look, I saw that the ground was in a mess and there was a lot of water.

Hurry up and find the manager. As soon as you look for it, you see a big mop in the corner wiping the floor. "

Qi Yuncheng mopped the floor in a physical performance, "It looked like he was working very hard, but there was no sweat on his head." Other female staff members were wiping railings and tables with rags, and they were also busy with their hands and feet. The director understood when he saw it. , in a happy mood.”

With his hands behind his back, Qi Yuncheng became more leader-like and looked at everyone leisurely, "Well~~ Very good, well done! The manager took the lead in cleaning, very good, very good, do you often do this?
The manager answered hesitantly: Um...ah, Director, yes, that's right. "

"Ah, that's good!" Qi Yuncheng got excited again and looked around, "The director looked again and saw that the glass window was completely covered with mud. There were a lot of big mud spots from the rain, and there were a lot of spider webs on the corners of the window. .

That...what, take me to the toilet and take a look. "

"Hey, hey, chief."

Qi Yuncheng immediately stopped him anxiously, nodded and bowed, "Director, sit down and rest in your conference room and living room.

No, no, no, I'll go to the toilet and relieve myself. "

After the character performance was over, Qi Yuncheng looked at the audience below and said in his own voice, "You can't help but let me untie my little hands. I can only take them with me."

Okay, okay, come with me.

The manager took him with him, followed by the director.When he arrived at the director's office, he strode in and opened the door.As soon as I entered..."

After a half-breath, Qi Yuncheng continued, "There are more than 1 flies in the toilet. Big flies, small flies, bean flies, mung bean flies, all twisted into a ball like a tornado, hitting the body directly. , as soon as the director entered, he asked the flies to be pushed out."

He stumbled back a few steps quickly. The actor's face was full of shock and confusion. He seemed to have no idea what was pushing him, and this made people laugh.

The show is here.

Stepping back again, Qi Yuncheng got angry behind the table, "What happened? This fly... Oh, why did you do what you did? It's so outrageous."

Director, please rest for a while and come back later.Just for one hour, you go to the conference room and sit, you smoke, you drink tea.

The director was so angry in the conference room that your hygiene was so bad. There were piles of flies. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink tea, I just urinate.

OK, come with me. "

"He came again after a while, but this time the director was different from before. Instead of rushing in with big steps, he slowly pushed the door open bit by bit."

Qi Yuncheng acted very carefully, pushed open the door, and took a peek quietly. After taking a look, he started to move in, and then looked around.

"Yo? Is it weird? There's not a single fly left? Ah~~ That's good. There's not a single fly left. Very good, very good. I'll take out the big one."

He raised his hand to unbuckle his belt, and the audience was happy, but Qi Yuncheng hurriedly panicked, "The manager said, Director, you... unbuckle your bowels, but hurry up, the flies will come back soon."

Where have all the flies gone?
Isn't it twelve noon?They all ran to the cafeteria! "

Hahahahaha!
Laughter came out again, and many people below cheered and shouted.

"another one!!"

"another one!!"

The theater started to be lively again, Qi Yuncheng put his hands on the table, "Say one more thing? Okay, one more thing, we will talk more today, as long as you can sit still."

"Sit still!!"

"Talking all night."

Not to mention the first few rows down below, those sitting in the back are shouting loudly.

"You can pay it off all night long. Have you brought enough money? I'm not cheap. I only pay 12 yuan an hour."

"Qi Yuncheng, I'll give you one night."

Immediately, a girl shouted at the top of her lungs, holding a red ticket in her hand, causing everyone in the theater to burst into laughter.

One night is enough.

Qi Yuncheng was very helpless. He calculated the time and prepared to have a long time. He didn't care how long he could go back tonight.

So he went on.

When he was talking, the girl Lanlan was also watching, and it took a long time to watch.

They went on stage at around nine o'clock, close to ten o'clock, and finally performed until 11:30, almost two hours.

Two hours is a very long time, and small theaters usually start to end at around ten o'clock.

During the process, Lanlan was not completely idle. She went up and brought two cups of tea, saying that it was impossible not to be thirsty after such a long time.

"That's it, everyone, today's performance is over."

"One more time!"

The audience refused to let go and made a roaring noise. It really felt like the whole night. The mood and atmosphere were not low.

But it was impossible to say it again. After bowing and leaving the stage, the audience could only applaud crazily and shout Qi Yuncheng's name.

Why do you like the actors of Deyun Club? If you want to give more, you will definitely give more. The stand-up I listened to today was very enjoyable.

"Are you tired, Master? I made tea."

Backstage, Zhou Gulan handed over a cup of warm tea, as if he had been waiting for a long time.

Qi Yuncheng breathed a sigh of relief. He was really tired. He was tired just from standing, and he also had to perform. He hadn't been like this for a long time.

For example, when De Yunshe first became famous, the evening shows were almost always postponed until this time, just to give more and keep more viewers coming next time.

"Go back to the hotel, it's so late."

"it is good."

After taking the tea cup, Zhou Gulan put it down carefully, but did not step out of the backstage. Suddenly, she seemed a little embarrassed.

"What's wrong? So awkward?"

"Master, I'm hungry."

Qi Yuncheng looked at the pretty girl and raised the corners of his mouth. It was already 11:30.

A normal person would be hungry, it's time for midnight snack.

"Tell me what to eat? I'll treat you."

"Barbecue, I want to eat barbecue." Zhou Gulan couldn't wait to answer, his eyes almost gleaming.

"Let's go, but we have to find a good time, otherwise people will buy it when we go out."

"Then I'll go investigate the 'enemy situation' and pick a good time to leave."

The girl agreed and disappeared in the blink of an eye. As a young man, her legs and feet were very nimble.

When she went backstage and opened the back door of the theater, she was shocked to the core.

There were all good-looking sisters standing in the alley, each holding a mobile phone, as if they wanted to wait for Qi Yuncheng to come out.

"Hey, someone is coming out." Seeing the door open a little, a girl suddenly looked over and said.

Zhou Gulan hurriedly closed it and ran backstage, with aggrieved expression on his face, "Master, we can't leave for now. Many people are waiting for you, and they seem to be unwilling to leave until you can see them."

"Well, it's already 11:30, and I'm still willing to wait."

"Can't we eat?" Zhou Gulan felt a little uncomfortable, after all, he was hungry.

"How is it possible that you can't eat?" Qi Yuncheng said, "Let's go out right now and have a barbecue to prevent you from eating. What do I do as a master?"

When Zhou Gulan heard her master say these words, waves of warmth rushed through her chest, and her face was filled with a pampered smile.

Sure enough, Master is the best Master in the world.

"Master, I will take the lead for you."

"Can you stop me with your small body? Call a few people to help."