Cross talk: There is no size on the stage, and a new grave is built under the stage

"A house worth 1000 yuan is still paid once a month. Move! Move now!"

"Moved?"

"We moved, but something should happen." Qi Yuncheng changed his words, and his expression became serious behind the microphone.

Luan Yunping asked softly, "Why did something happen again?"

"A few days ago, I got up in the morning and I was fine. Standing at the door, there was an orange seller who picked oranges with him. I saw the old man coming from a distance."

"Master Boring?"

"We have to say hello!" Qi Yuncheng became enthusiastic and shouted with a smile on his face, "Old man, third master!! Come here!
He came over and looked at me, Yun Cheng, what's the matter?Buy some fruit?
Come on, go up to the house and have some tea.

No, come again on the eighth. "

"Why is number eight here?" Luan Yunping asked again.

"Number eight is my rent."

"Oh, to collect the rent."

"Old man!!" Qi Yuncheng turned sideways and said with a smile: "What's the matter? I can't live in your house, come here and come in for a glass of water. This is nothing more than this?
to the house. "

"Human nature is good."

"I'm helping you in and making some tea. You wait for me for 5 minutes while drinking."

"you left?"

"I turned around and went out. There was a grocery store across the road."

"Why are you going there?"

Qi Yuncheng immediately explained, "The manager is old and listless. He is from Datong, Shanxi. He runs a small coal mine. Later, something happened and he went to Yanjing to seek refuge."

"Oh, avoid things." Luan Yunping nodded knowingly.

"Now that I open such a store, I just open the door and walk in.

Old withered! !
Oh?Mr. Qi, what's the matter?
You give me 2000 yuan.

That's 2000 yuan. "

After speaking, Qi Yuncheng stretched out his hand and exposed his fingers and began to count the money, but Luan Yunping was taken aback when she saw it, "Wait a minute, does the grocery store owe you money?"

"I don't owe money."

"Then why did he give you two thousand when you asked for it?"

"The two of us are business partners and we have friendship. Take the money and count out a thousand when you get home." Qi Yuncheng handed it forward, with a smile on his face, "Old man, I will give you the rent, 1000 yuan.

The old man was stunned, not yet.

What's wrong?What's wrong with ten or eight days away?It's getting colder and colder in the day after tomorrow. If you don't run away, one family is one family. I can't control others. I'll give you my share first. "

"Thoughtful."

"Excuse me, old man, is this appropriate?

you take it. "

Qi Yuncheng pushed forward again, and turned back to the conversation, "The old man stood up and wanted to leave, but I stopped him.

Don't hurry, it's 11:30, it's time to eat, tell my daughter-in-law to stew rice, add more water, make it softer, the old man's teeth are not good.

Get a few more yellow croakers, get a few small cold dishes, and boil some wine when you're done, don't mix it with white wine, it will hurt your stomach, and the beer will make you feel full.

Warm some rice wine, cut some ginger, put some plums, and have a drink with the old man.

How is this? "

Luan Yunping kept nodding her head, "That's a good idea."

"It's just the same for my master."

"That's right, you've hurt him."

Hahaha!
Amid the audience's laughter, Qi Yuncheng changed his expression, but he didn't answer anything, and it took a little longer to answer the show.

They all count time.

Including Luan Yunping herself, he doesn't talk much, and he can pay attention to the rhythm of the cross talk from time to time.

"After eating and drinking enough, the old man flicked his chopsticks. I have to go. There are a few houses that go out in the afternoon, and they hit the lock when they go late."

Luan Yunping looked at the audience and said, "The rent has not been confiscated."

"I helped, and so did my wife, and my son followed. The family of three sent the old man out like the emperor."

"Respectfully."

"It's okay if you don't send it away, but it will be a disaster if you send it away."

Luan Yunping took a breath at a critical moment, and wondered, "Why did you send it back?"

"He stood in the courtyard and looked up, his eyebrows were raised!"

"what happened?"

"Grandson!! Find me a house and move!!" Gritting his teeth, Qi Yuncheng yelled while leaning on the table and cursing. We are honest people."

"Yes, don't be angry."

Seeing the emotional upheaval, Luan Yunping stretched out her hand to persuade her, "What's the reason?"

"You all heard it, how did I treat him?"

"Not bad!" Luan Yunping replied instead of the audience.

"Stuffy rice, boiled fish, cooked vegetables, warm rice wine. I can't do more than that to my master."

"Yes, I said it twice."

"He talks like that, I have to ask."

"You have to ask."

Swallowing, Qi Yuncheng held back the emotion of crying and said: "Man, this is your fault, if you have something to say, you can't swear.

Besides, I'm a nest of prostitution, I'm getting together to gamble?What shameful thing did I do?

And if you can't tell me I'm here, I'm not welcome. "

"That's interesting."

Qi Yuncheng switched to the role of Mr. Men and said, "What? Gambling with prostitutes? I don't care if I cut you up."

"Then what's going on?" Luan Yunping hurriedly spoke again.

"I'm going to ask you something right now!" Qi Yuncheng raised his head and stared aggressively upwards, "Where are those tiles on my house!!!"

The key points come out.

Now comes the fun part of the show.

As for this tile, of course it was sold to that old man, otherwise how could he get 2000 yuan.

When conflicts arose.

Qi Yuncheng pulled away his movements on the stage, and slapped him out of nowhere, "Can I suffer from that? Slap him round and give him a big mouth."

"Hit someone?"

"Let's not say more than 70, there are several people in the [-]s."

Hahahaha!

Amidst the laughter, Luan Yunping couldn't help but be surprised, "Well, it's powerful enough."

"It's outrageous. Could it be that old man, have you lived in vain at such an advanced age? How can you be like this! Crack!! Another mouth!"

"Look."

"The beating was so hard that the dentures came out, so I squatted on the ground to pick them up." Qi Yuncheng looked at the dentures, and then made a gesture of putting them in his trouser pocket, "This is not for you."

"how?"

"Save it for nail clipping."

"Oh! You really don't waste things."

"Boom! Another kick kicked the old man on the ground. My wife came over and pulled off the old man's two shoes."

"what?"

"歘 (chua)! Chua!"

Seeing Qi Yuncheng throwing it up twice, Luan Yunping supported the table in confusion, "This is it?"

"Throw it on the house."

"Will it hurt or not, you."

"My son is here. The child is too useful. I took the old man's crutches and gave them a discount."

"Okay!" Luan Yunping looked at the audience and then pointed at her partner to complain, "The whole family is a jerk, what are you doing?"

Qi Yuncheng didn't care what his partner said, sneered, and lifted his right foot, "Step on the old head, and take out the 1000 yuan along the pocket.

Another pocket took out another four hundred. "

"It belongs to an old man."

"Oh!!" Qi Yuncheng had a begging expression on his face, "If you make a mistake, you will be punished."

"What's wrong with you!!"

"There's no money in the bottom pocket."

"It's all searched."

Qi Yuncheng pulled his sleeves with his left and right hands, and shouted harshly: "Tell you! The surname is boring! I will give you three days from today to come here to apologize.

If you don't come, your whole family will be set on fire in three days. "

"Heh!!" Luan Yunping suddenly had a few more words at this moment, "Why don't they all say that De Yun is a gangster, from what you can tell.

They also set fire to the whole family. "

Three points are funny and seven points are in favor.

Although it is not a burden, the sentence of measuring work made the audience laugh a little, especially the word "underworld".

In the past, Qi Yuncheng himself would use the things his partner gave him to hang up from time to time, but it would be a waste of time to talk for a few seconds.

I can only continue to talk about it.

"Grab the old man by the collar, come to the gate, kick him out with a bang."

"Good guy, enough ruthless."

"Turn around and go into the house to drink."

"Also drinking?"

Qi Yuncheng caressed his chest, as if he was really angry, "I feel uncomfortable, but I really hope that this is the end of the matter."

"Is it over?"

"I never thought that this old man is shameless."

"what happened?"

"He went home and told people? Do you still want face?"

Listening to her partner's words, Luan Yunping laughed angrily at the moment, and this character was a shameless existence, so she hurriedly raised her voice.

"You beat people like that, can people not say it?"

Qi Yuncheng was very puzzled, "The old man has no humanity! How can you say this, even if there are people in your family, you can talk about it."

"Is there no one at home?"

"That's right! There are only seven sons, six uncles, twelve godsons, and fifteen nephews..."

"Hold on, that's a lot."

"Who is there?"

"No one else?"

"When the old man called, all the shameless people came. When he came, the old man told people how I beat him, how my daughter-in-law picked his shoes, and how the child smashed his walking stick.

What are you talking about. "

"Then can you not say it?"

"Are you showing your face? You have to knock out your teeth and swallow it in your stomach."

"Why do people?"

"Eat everything to gain wisdom, and be a good person in the future. You still have a chance."

"Who?"

"What's going on, what's going on after talking about it like this, after finishing talking..." Qi Yuncheng supported the table, and nodded with the other hand rudely, "If there is such a foolish father, there will be such a bastard's son."

"what happened?"

"The eldest son stood up: go, find him!
Look at what a bastard, why are you participating in this. "

Luan Yunping nodded: "You don't want ginseng to marry."

"The old man has a nephew who understands."

"what happened?"

Qi Yuncheng got into the role in an instant, looked around, and said softly: "Sit down, sit down. Uncle, I didn't mean you. Don't cause troubles on earth, but you provoke troubles in the sky? You can't trouble yourself, you provoke Qi Yuncheng ?”

"What's wrong with you?" Luan Yunping didn't understand.

"Is Qi Yuncheng still worth it? People are talking about cross talk!!"

"Correct!"

"Sometimes he's on the left, sometimes he's on the right."

"Sometimes you are alone, so what's the use?"

"He can still do that..." Qi Yuncheng raised his hands above his head and dangled, "He can still do that majestic hall of mourning!"

"What's the use of allegro."

"Yes! If Qi Yuncheng doesn't work, how about Luan Yunping, who is fanning him?"

"What do you mention me for?"

"Luan Yunping is nothing special, Luan Yunping's brother!"

"Who?"

"Can you afford to mess with someone who takes a bath in the bathhouse?"

"It's all a mess."

"It is said that Qi Yuncheng is still the head of an army, and he still has an establishment."

Luan Yunping looked at her partner in surprise, "Huo, why didn't I know?"

Qi Yuncheng lowered his head and showed his fingers to count, "Luan Yunping, Yue Yunpeng, Kong Yunlong, Zhang Yunlei..."

As soon as the name is uttered, the audience instantly understands what kind of army this army is.

"This is the first batch of troops, and there is a second batch! Zhang Helun, Meng Hetang, Li Hedong, Cao Heyang, Yan Hexiang..."

"Okay! Kong Yunlong was beaten to the ground by a professional boxer a few days ago!!"

When Luan Yunping mentioned it, the audience laughed a lot. Someone knew about Kong Yunlong's matter. After all, De Yun's matter was not small, so it was also in the news at that time.

Although there are still nine characters, Qi Yuncheng stopped counting and put his hands into his sleeves, "Let's not talk about the army, don't you know that there are two people on top of him?"

"Who?"

"Guo Degang, Yu Qian! People who run around the theater with their buttocks naked most of the night."

"Oh!" Luan Yunping was really speechless at the moment, couldn't help laughing, and looked at the movement of many people below and said honestly, "I really didn't expect that the first joke was for this."

"So don't wait for someone to find you, hurry up and apologize. If the two of them walk around our house naked, do you think you can bear it?"

Hahahahaha!
call~~

At this moment, the audience here is crazy with joy, many people slapped their thighs and laughed, they really couldn't help it.

Mainly there is a sense of picture.

Bare buttocks, the old couple, one black and one white, panted and ran around other people's houses in the middle of the night, not daring to think about it.

The key is according to the character of Mr. Guo and the uncle.

Maybe it can be done, so it's fun to think about it.

And Luan Yunping pointed, "Apologizing, what a scumbag!!"

"Did you see it? It's thanks to someone who understands that the matter was cleared up."

"Is this called a sensible person?"

"I'm drinking." Qi Yuncheng leaned back, holding the wine glass with his right hand, "Suddenly the child came, Dad, Dad, the old man led a group of people.

I said it's ok, look.

Look out along the crack of the door, Huo?Two hundred people came. "

"so much?"

"They still have presents in their hands."

"Really come to see you?"

"Choppers, axes, large pipe pliers, chainsaws, sticks..."

"Ouch!" Luan Yunping tugged at her partner's arm, "It's not a gift, it's clearly a fight."

"I don't care so much, lock the door first!!" Qi Yuncheng put his hands together, lowered his head and muttered, "What should I do?"

"think about it."

"When things come to an end, as a person with status, I have to be brave in the face of danger. I'll see what they plan to do."

"Ah."

"As soon as they entered the alley, they called me, oh, that's being polite!!"

"say what?"

After the words fell, Qi Yuncheng immediately put his hips on his hips and yelled, "Qi Yuncheng! Grandson, get out!!!"

"Hey, is this being polite?"

, "As soon as they are polite, my heart softens, and as soon as my heart softens, my legs soften."

"That was scary."

"Hmph! Can I be scared? Can I be scared? In an instant, the image of my uncle and my master running naked appeared in my mind.

They are not afraid of death, am I still afraid? "

Luan Yunping had to admit, "It's such a spirit."

Qi Yuncheng: "I can't be afraid, there is a big bluestone at home, weighing more than 120 kilograms, I can't hold it normally.

I can't take care of so much today, thinking that killing one is enough, and I will earn one if I kill two.

Pick up the stone and walk forward, thump, thump, boom! ! ! "

Luan Yunping: "How many were smashed to death?"

Qi Yuncheng: "Block the door."

"Is that what you are capable of?"

As expected, Luan Yunping clapped, and at the same time slightly moved the fan he had used back to its original position.

"I looked out through the crack of the door. There were quite a few people. The old man also came. His eyeballs were about to bleed. What should I do?"

Luan Yunping helped out with an idea, "What else can I do, let's run."

"Pooh!!"

"what happened?"

Qi Yuncheng said proudly: "You look down on me too much. I'm Deyun talking about cross talk. I got out of a knife and gun. I haven't killed anyone in three days."

"I wonder what cross talk is for."

"I let them scare me? Still running? I can't afford to lose people."

"What about you?"

"I have to... hurry up!!"

After speaking, Luan Yunping was speechless, and waved her hands, "It's better to run."

"From a botanical point of view, you can't get out of the gate."

"Botany or anything."

"Go behind the wall. My wall is short, and I stepped down to the waist, ouch, what a coincidence!" Suddenly Qi Yuncheng was a little happy.

"no one?"

"Six squatting."

"Okay, let's get blocked."

"I knew I had to go from here, come on, tie them all up!!" After learning what other people said, Qi Yuncheng looked disgusted, "It's so cruel, tie me up with wire, and tie me up like a piece of porcelain.

I thought to myself, if this puts me on some parody TV show, I'll be first prize on time. "

"Who are you learning from?"

"Zongzi."

"Well, what kind of people have you beaten up?"

"I was so tied up that I couldn't breathe. One of them shouted, put him in the head, and he made a fuss, and all the neighbors in the neighborhood came out.

The old man is also like this, he is not ashamed or ashamed.

Tell everyone how I beat him, how I scolded him, why are you talking about this, and what will you do after talking about it? "

"Who is messing around?"

"His son came here with a stick!!" Qi Yuncheng picked up the fan that Luan Yunping had moved just now, and patted the table twice to make a sound, "Give me some sticks!"

"You must not be beaten."

"Everyone, don't look at it, but I refuse to accept it, and open my mouth to curse!!"

"How to scold?"

"Mom~" Qi Yuncheng wept.

"Mama?"

"Hey, another stick, grandma~"

"Wait a minute, you are not scolding the street, scolding the street should be scolding the ancestors."

Qi Yuncheng sniffled, "Ancestor~~"

"Okay, call me ancestor."

"After a while, when the opposite door opened, Uncle Wang came out.

Don't hit, don't hit, don't hit, third master, you said he hit you and kicked you, I didn't see it.Now you guys beat him up, I can see it.

You see, no one is wrong.Let's do it, give me face, old brother, let's forget about it.Your room is easy to rent at [-] a month, so let him go, and don't beat him or scold him.Nawa, if you want to come back, you have to, or if you don’t come back, forget it.Old brother, give brother a face...

I'm so angry, is this a human word? "

"Every sentence is human speech."

"He's not facing me..."

"People still turn to you?"

"I said in my heart, yes! To be honest, you just happened to be. One day earlier, I would have beaten him first. He has wronged me! This old man Wang is not a human being."

"how?"

"The lights on the electric poles in the alley are gone. He came to our house to search. Do you think this is a person?"

Knowing the human nature of Qi Yuncheng's character, Luan Yunping said directly: "It's your fault that the guarantee is not complete."

"I said search, search, the front and back yards, you search, that box, that cabinet, you dig it out and say what's wrong. Look for them all, except for that box..."

"It's in the box." Luan Yunping understood, and continued to ask, "Did you really remove the light bulb?"

"Nonsense, keep it! The child is naughty. I am afraid that it will be broken and affect everyone's travel. I will unscrew it and put it in my room."

"What are you using it for?"

"I change the light bulbs in my house."

"That's still a stolen light bulb!"

"But at this moment, they can do whatever they want. Ask me, tell me, what do you want?"

Suddenly Qi Yuncheng was surprised, and smiled, "I said you let me talk, that's fine! Don't let me talk, let me talk, this is called a bird pressing the forest, a hundred birds green forest, 嘡 嘡 嘡 finished You don't even dare to breathe.

"What did you say?"

"As long as the fathers don't fight, whatever happens!"

"That's it!"

……

……

Hahahaha!

"it is good!!!"

"another one!!"

Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi!

When the cross talk came to an end, the applause and laughter of more than 6000 people below continued. Although it was an old joke, what we wanted was a taste.

The key is that everyone remembers the joke about Mr. Guo and Uncle Yu being naked.

The more I think about it, the more I can't forget it.

But there was a lot of excitement in the audience, but the two people in the audience felt uncomfortable. After the performance, it meant that there was not much time left.

At the same time, Qi Yuncheng glanced at Luan Yunping, and Luan Yunping also looked back to confirm each other's thoughts, because there was no time to return, only the time for the curtain call.

Fortunately, the actual performance of the previous ones was a little faster than the scheduled performance, so they still have 15 minutes for the curtain call.

So hurriedly, Qi Yuncheng turned around to take a look at the crowded side screen, and turned back again.

"Thank you everyone for supporting us so much, the applause is so lively! But to be honest, there is not much time today.

Those in the industry may understand that his requirements for this kind of big show are much stricter than those of small theaters, so there is not much time left.

At the last moment, let's call all the actors and have a hearty chat together and let's do whatever we like. "

"it is good!!!"

After the audience agreed with one voice, all the actors came on stage today.

But after standing up.

Qi Yuncheng was a little hesitant. Looking around, the audience like stars was densely packed in front of them and on the side of the stage.

Having said that, the audience is not enjoyable, especially the actors.

But there is no way, the time is arranged like this.

"It's around [-]:[-], what do you all want to hear at the end, as long as you want to hear, I will sing for you!"

Perhaps because they felt Qi Yuncheng's helplessness on the stage, the audience didn't think there was anything wrong down there. After all, they really had a good night coming here today.

But in the end, it must not be let go.

"Skeleton Sigh!!"

"True truth!"

"Eighteen Touch!!!"

"Yes! Let's have an eighteen touch!!"

"Come one!! Come one!!"

"Yes, yes! Eighteen touches!"

……

Thousands of people in the audience shouted normally at first, even if they yelled the truth, they knew that actors could play tricks, so they yelled for fun.

But suddenly an eighteen touch appeared, and the people in the area below were all infected.

It has become a state of echoing what others say.

One or two is okay, but a group of people shouted and laughed while shouting.

Let the whole gymnasium not know what it is for. If the relevant departments see it, they will definitely think it is not a serious place.

There are so many people calling Shibamo.

That’s all for a small theater, at most 300 people, not to mention 6000 people shouting now, but thousands of people’s voices, layer upon layer.

Qi Yuncheng was dumbfounded, the quality of the audience is so good now?Turning her head to look at Luan Yunping, Luan Yunping couldn't help being happy, but it goes without saying that Shaobing, Xiao Si, Gao Feng and others.

Everyone is watching a good show.

Fortunately, Qi Yuncheng is not a mainstream leader or someone who is too high-quality, so he rolled up his sleeves twice, feeling like he was going all out, "Eighteen touches are eighteen touches!

If you don't know how to do this, you can't say that you are talking about cross talk! !

I will sing for you! ! "

"Hahahaha!"

"Okay!!! Let's get one!!!"

"Qi Yuncheng! I love you! Come one!!"

"Hahaha! How can such a character not pursue him for a lifetime."

"Okay! Eighteen touches! This actor is really worth it!!"

……