Anti-grave robbery: scare away Jin Xiaowei at the beginning

Chapter 125 I want to customize a daytime ascension funeral

Partridge Whistle hid in the nursing home and pretended to be crazy, but he didn't know that because of the customized funeral, Golmud entered a state of emergency!
Zhang Long's father-in-law was completely paralyzed on the ground, and the Seven Laughing Corpse Curse broke out, and the pain came from the soul. His crazy roar made the news reporters catch up with another wave of enthusiasm. For a while, everyone said that there was a god three feet above his head.

Compared with Zhang Long's father-in-law, the bigger traffic code is the scene of Zhang Long's funeral.

Zhang Long's wife said that five hundred men in black appeared at the funeral, and a gangster man in a long coat and sunglasses silently sent flowers to salute. It felt like Zhang Long was a big boss on the road.

For a while, not only Zhang Long's wife and the media were dumbfounded, but also all the people in charge of the city, especially the person in charge of security. When did so many big brother-level figures flood into our second-tier city? !Isn't this a mess?For a while, an extremely lively anti-crime and evil operation was launched in G City, focusing on arresting the five hundred black-clothed brothers!

Although there was a lot of noise, but fortunately, Zhang Long's wife finally felt in awe. She handed over all the funds left by Zhang Long to Zhang Long's parents in the mountainous area, and even in order to repay her own debts, She also sold her father's property and gave it to Zhang Long's parents.

In any case, Mingo Wanshiwu's first custom funeral business has finally come to an end.

In the house of all things, King Lu Shang wagged his tail and commented, "To be honest, the partridge whistle is a real failure. The Lord has explained it. Let us not cause trouble. Look at the people who are wanted in the city now." The Big Brother in Black gang, and even many TV shows that the Big Brother in Black is doing justice for the sky, and the three-year period has come to invite the Dragon King to return. Zhang Long’s real identity is the Dragon King of the Dragon King Hall, tell me, isn’t this funny?"

A white puppet cat was lazily lying on the table, and kept circling the purple clay teapot with its tail, "Stop beeping a few words, if you have the guts, go and do a business!"

King Lu Shang said, "I, I really want to, but how can I solicit business like this? Don't forget, the outside is cracking down now!"

At this moment, the snake god on the table trembled, "Why do I feel that you two seem to be deliberately avoiding the partridge whistle recently, are you two feeling sorry for the partridge whistle?"

Hearing the snake god's words, King Lu Shang and Tie Miansheng laughed together, "Snake god, what you said is that everyone is a slave to the master, how can you feel sorry for your own people!"

"That's right, Snake God, there's no need to make trouble inside yourself!"

The snake god trembled slightly, "Don't try to hide it from me, I am the snake god, the soul master."

Cats and dogs saw how determined the snake god was, so Tie Miansheng could only say, "Well, to be honest, we can't talk to Partridge Whistle. , I am a military adviser, a descendant of the craftsman god, and King Lu Shang is a prince, and the Lord is also a prince. You are a god, the snake god, and our status is relatively close. He is a mortal. After all, he is your descendant of the snake god. It’s not a class at all!”

King Lu Shang also nodded wildly, "That's right, he is too rational, but we are too emotional. In our eyes, longevity is the cultivation of immortals. Metaphysics is metaphysics. If you understand it, is it still called metaphysics? And he always treats metaphysics as science. You don’t know that he had a good chat with the old mental patient in the yard. Isn’t it nonsense that he wants to interpret metaphysics in a scientific way? What are you talking about with this kind of person? Talking about science? Everyone’s interests are not in the same sequence, how to play?”

Snake God said, "Yes, the Lord also likes to interpret metaphysics in a scientific way!"

"Snake God, you are wrong!" King Lu Shang said with a smile, "My lord, it is only when you are kidding yourself that you will go to fiddle with metaphysics, just like the last time in front of the white camel, he had nothing to say. When he really wants to pretend to be a comparison, he will quote a lot of things that others don't understand to set off his bull nose, but if you want to break the casserole and ask the end, he will become angry! A metaphysicist who is loyal in nature, just like us They are emotional animals, in the eyes of the Lord, metaphysics and science are all nonsense, only power is eternal, kill all the immortals, I will be invincible, and so many theories are useless!"

Tie Miansheng also said, "My lord is a pseudo-scientist, a true worshiper of power. He only believes in himself. Of course, this is enough. The most important thing for a long-lived person is self-confidence! If the long-lived person can't even believe in himself, If you don’t feel conceited, but believe in other people’s scientific metaphysics, how can he convince his subordinates that he can lead us to immortality?”

The snake god listened to King Lu Shang and Tie Miansheng's words, but remained silent, not knowing whether to agree or disagree.

At this moment, King Lu Shang seemed to have remembered something, and looked at Tie Miansheng who was lazily spitting out bubbles, "Old Tie, you have been in the nursing home for so long, have you found anything?"

Tie Miansheng said, "It's not interesting, a half-dead confinement woman named Huo Ling, and a group of human beings presumptuously use some corpses that I see are disgusting, in an attempt to achieve immortality, their technology is too far behind Queen Mother Xi's resurrection armor Far away, it can even be said that they are still in the stone age of immortality technology, while the Queen Mother of the West is already in the age of the galaxy."

King Lu Shang said, "What about the Lord?"

Tie Miansheng thought for a while, "The last time the master told us about the classification of civilizations, the master's one should be almost the singer's civilization! Basically, it is the kind of dimensionality reduction and attack on them."

Just when the three guys were chatting, a handsome woman in uniform walked in weakly from outside the door. It was Ye Hongyu, the janitor who had been accepted before.

Ye Hongyu bowed to the three bosses, "Snake God, Master Lu, Tie Junshi, there is an old guy who has been hanging around our door for a few days, and he insists on us arranging his funeral, but the problem now is that we are being wanted." I told him that we were not accepting business recently, but the old man threatened me that if he didn’t arrange a funeral for him, he would expose us, saying that we were all ghosts, and told Zhi Shouguan, Living Buddha Temple, invited monks and priests from three mountains and five mountains to arrest us, and he also found out that I am not human..."

"His grandma's!" King Lu Shang became angry immediately, "Is someone from the Taoist sect kicking the door? I'm going to greet him!"

But the snake god said, "Lao Lu, wait a minute, since the old man knows our details, it's better not to make too much trouble, invite him in! I'll go and talk to him."

King Lu Shang said, "Okay."

Ye Hongyu walked out with a potted plant. Outside the door, an old man with sunglasses was sitting on the threshold of the store. His face was wrinkled like a shoehorn, and he was holding a stick. Cough.

But the moment Ye Hongyu made it, he seemed to have eyes behind his back, and suddenly turned his head to look at the potted plant in Ye Hongyu's arms. The next moment, he took a few steps back, sat down on the ground in embarrassment, and muttered Muttering to himself, "Little, Xiaodao, I don't know that senior is here to clean up, Xiaodao offended senior, Xiaodao will get out of here..."

The snake god sent out a divine thought leisurely, "When you see this seat, come in!"

Hearing this, the old man hurriedly turned around and locked the door by the way.

The old man actually accepted the snake god's spiritual thoughts, and replied, "The mountain god is here, Xiaodao is really panic, Xiaodao, why don't you kowtow to the mountain god?"

As he spoke, the old man really knelt on the ground, and respectfully said to the mountain god in front of him, "To worship the mountain, you must worship Zhongnanshan. There is a lot of Qi training on Zhongnanshan. If you want to find the place where the gods are, go to Laojun Palace on Zixia Peak! Trail Quanzhen Sect Branch Laojun Palace No.70 Sixth Generation Palace Master, Taoist name Sensing Daoist, pays homage to the mountain god Linghuang, I have offended you just now, please God forgive me."

The Snake God has been filling up a lot of Taoist memories recently. He also became interested when he heard that the other party, Zhong Nanshan Laojun Palace, was also a branch of Genzheng Miaohong Quanzhen Sect.

Snake God said, "Zhong Nanshan, the Laojun faction, can be regarded as a sacred place for human races to practice Qi for a long time. Why did you come to this world instead of practicing Qi in Zhong Nanshan?"

Hearing this, the old man felt a little helpless, "To tell you the truth, Zhong Nanshan is no longer the Zhong Nanshan he used to be. Now Zhong Nanshan is full of smog, live broadcasts are popular, and all kinds of fame and fortune are tied to it. My Taoist temple has also been bulldozed by developers. I have nowhere to go." But to go, I can only wander in the world of mortals, relying on the horoscope to feel the bones, fortune-telling and deduction, and get a full meal."

The snake god hesitated, "Isn't the Quanzhen sect your stronghold?"

The old man's face became even more ugly, "The Quanzhen Sect is now the largest sect of Genzhengmiao Hongdaomen. If you want to enter, you must have three chapters and a doctoral degree. My old man can even recognize 26 letters." If it is not complete, it will be too much for the induction chapter, and I am still blind!"

Speaking of which, the old man is really blind when he took off his sunglasses!

The old blind man continued, "The Quanzhen Sect doesn't believe that I, a down-and-out family member, is their branch. My fortune-telling is also said to be a blind calculation. I have been abandoned by the times. Now I just want to have a decent one in a hundred years. In the end, after I heard about the cemetery, I went to the cemetery. Through observation, I discovered your place of cultivation. I saw that the person who received me was actually a ghost, so I knew that the five hundred black-clothed brothers were real. Yes, it's just that they are all Yin spirits! So, I want to hold a funeral at the senior's place, so that I can leave with dignity."

The old man expressed his thoughts in a serious manner, and then lay on the ground trembling, not daring to move.

At this moment, a dog came out wagging its tail, and there was a cat lying on the husky. The cat and dog walked up to the old man, and instantly the old man lay on the ground, with his hands on his head, and said in panic, "The three sages are here For this practice, Xiaodao is really to blame for death, the old way deserves to die, the old way deserves to die, you should not disturb the cultivation of the seniors..."

Tie Mian sent out a divine thought, "Shouldn't disturb? You have already disturbed."

The old man said, "I, I'm going to die now, I will definitely keep the three secrets."

King Lu Shang said, "You are going to die, and when you die, you can let us customize a funeral for you, and we have spread a lot of debts. You are such a rogue to die! You are disgusting when you die! Our Sanyi pause."

The old man was dumbfounded when he heard this, this time he was completely confused, he didn't know whether he deserved to die or not.

Compared with the old man, the three internal discussions about King Lu Shang's iron-faced snake god were very heated.

King Lu Shang was pleasantly surprised, "This old Taoist has good mana, he can feel the three of us, and he can connect our consciousness. According to the evaluation of strength, he should be regarded as the peak of the fourth-order corpse, one step away from the fifth-order one." .”

Tie Miansheng said, "Unfortunately, what he is good at is not fighting skills. If it is the technique of supporting the spirit, I am afraid that he will kill the world. What he is good at is the magician skills of divination and the like. His skill tree points Crooked."

Snake God said, "This kind of guy is much more useful than a ferocious spirit like Ye Hongyu. Ye Hongyu stays here to be a soul banner master in the future, and this old man can do many things for us if he stays. It can be said that saving his life will definitely be of great use!"

Tie Miansheng agreed, "What the Snake God said is very true. He is a living person, and he is very good at playing and singing in the Jianghu. We can make him an old fairy character and let him handle some things for us. Things that are inconvenient for us to deal with, after all, there are monks and priests in this world, if one day we accidentally run into them, leaving him alone, he can also be a peacemaker."

The snake god concluded, "If that's the case, then take him in as a pawn. Which one of you has a life-sustaining elixir, get him some. His health is very poor, and it's estimated that he won't be able to compete in the next two months."

"Life-continuing elixir?" Tie Miansheng and King Lu Shang were both stunned, "How could we have this thing!"

The snake god was frustrated, "Then let's talk about a hammer, we can't even save his life, why should he give us three lives?"

Just when the three guys were getting tired, a divine thought appeared, "Actually, spiritual objects are not a problem, I can send them to you!"

The snake god, Lao Lu, and Jiumei looked at each other, and said in unison, "Who are you?"

This strange spiritual mind said weakly, "I, I am Prince Gumo, the white camel you met before, I just joined the chat group, and I have never had a chance to speak. There are not many other things in Shenmu Garden, except that there are many spiritual herbs, just give him a humanoid old mountain ginseng that can run away, and he can live another 30 years!"

King Lu Shang hissed, "It was a false alarm! I said Gumo, you have to speak more in the future, and you say something abruptly, do you want to scare the three of us to the ground? Everyone is immortal. Chat more and cultivate feelings!"

Snake God said, "Prince Gumo, how long will it take to deliver the spirit?"

Prince Gumo said, "Soon, there are often couriers under my mountain, and they will arrive in three days at most."

Tie Miansheng said, "Be careful, don't let the mountain goods be stolen."

"No!" Prince Gumo said, "I use Dongfeng Express, it's always stable."

The Snake God said, "Okay, Gumo, is the Lord in seclusion? How long will it take to wake up?"

Prince Gumo said, "I don't know either. The Lord's coffin has been very quiet for the past few days. It seems that he won't wake up for a while. I'm going to prepare the mountain goods. Let's talk later, snake god, Lao Lu, Jiumei!"

In the Wanshi room, the old blind man's hands and feet were numb, but he still didn't dare to move, and he didn't dare to look at the honor of the three gods.

Finally the Snake God spoke, "Junior, just now I and my three friends made a prediction for you. You should not die. This time you still have a chance to be reborn."

The old blind man hurriedly said, "Senior, what do you mean, can I survive? I don't have to die?"

The snake god said, "Yes, you don't have to die, but for the next half of your life, it may be rare for you to be free."

Hearing this, the old blind man said calmly, "Freedom, freedom is bullshit! I have been free all my life, eating wind, drinking water, and suffering. I want to find an organization to take me in. Quanzhen doesn't want me, Zhong Nanshan can't go back, I sleep in the sewer , lying on a park bench, watching those so-called numerology scammers pretending to be masters on TV, I have seen it through now, I just lack an organization, a reliable organization, if the seniors are willing to take me in, I will admit it even if I die now ..."

King Lu Shang said, "You are dead, how can we take you in? You go back and wait, within three days, I will give you the secret to renew your life! Remember, this matter, the secret must not be revealed!"

The old blind man got up, turned around three times obediently, looked at the potted plants, "Snake God, why don't you give me a mark or something so that I can find you, I always feel uneasy. "

What the old blind man said made the three present a little confused.

This, there are still people in this world who want to be branded as slaves?

The three guys originally wanted to be branded as slaves with one hand and the other with slavery. To be fair, who knew you would send it to your door.

In this case, the snake god will not be polite, the snake god said, "Relax, I will brand you."

"Okay!" The old blind man beamed with joy, "Finally found the organization, there are still gods, and my life will be considered a transfer of luck at the time of death..."

Peng——

After a slight electric current, the brand of the snake god was already stamped, and the old blind man found a faint tattoo of a snake under his right earlobe.

The old blind man got up and turned to the three guys, "Since the senior has accepted the junior, please give me a name."

The snake god looked at the two guys.

"What's a good name?"

"Why don't you call me blind!"

"It's too ugly! He's going to represent the three of us in the future, and he's going to be full!"

Tie Miansheng said, "Taoism emphasizes the unity of knowing and defending, it is better to let him know and guard the Taoist!"

"this is not bad!"

"That's all!"

The Snake God said, "You are a member of the Taoist sect, and you will also be a Taoist in dealing with affairs in the future. Although you represent us, your name should be a bit more Yangjian. You should be called Zhishou Taoist!"

The old blind man saluted respectfully, "Knowledge and Shou are one, and they can reach the other side. Zhishou has met three seniors. Zhishou has a small request. I have nowhere to go now. I don't have enough meals. Can senior [-] let me call in the store?" Floor shop? I'll wait here for three days, I can easily handle eating and drinking, as long as I have steamed buns..."

Knowing that Taoist is really a quack, he bluntly said that he will sleep here, eat and serve as a follower.

Regarding this, the Snake God said indifferently, "Whatever you want, since you are here, help Ye Hongyu to do business, our business is very difficult now, we are wanted everywhere..."

The old blind Zhishou chuckled, "Senior, this junior has an immature suggestion! What do the outside world think of us now? They think that there are really many big brothers who have entered here, so they are jittery, and we can continue to counteract it." , let’s hold a larger-scale funeral in the cemetery, the movement will be bigger, and more people will see it. At this time, many experts will interpret it, and then I can also take advantage of the situation and use this phenomenon Pseudo-scientific methods are announced, and when the time comes to raise my reputation, I can also win a good social status! I decided to continue to hold the funeral of the day's ascension. Of course, the protagonist is not me, but someone else. Make the momentum of Feisheng bigger, when the time comes, the whole media will see it and scare them..."

The snake god pondered for a while, and King Lu Shang, Tie Mian Sheng Qi Qi sighed.

"We seem to have picked up a ghost!"

"This old thing is simply an old liar!"

"His trick is to deceive the sky and follow the vines, and he can make himself fat!" Kill three birds with one stone!"

Of course, the three giants can't show it, otherwise they can't set off the force of the seniors.

The three giants did not speak, but went back to the back room to rest. Xu Ming, who was in the coffin, would not have thought that even if he was killed, he originally asked the snake god to help him take care of the worldly affairs. Hired a quack to work for it, is this considered an outsourcer outsourcing business expansion?

Knowing that the old blind man had his new residence, he excitedly put his fortune-telling booth in front of the store, planning to find a dying fool to arrange 100 yuan for Bai Rifeisheng's funeral.

Ye Hongyu was also sitting on the side, the old blind man was chanting, and kept saying something to Ye Hongyu, which made the little girl laugh out loud. For a moment, the small shop was full of gloomy and ominous atmosphere.

(End of this chapter)