Maybe I can't have a normal youth

Chapter 827 The Day
Zhao Bai'an was considered to have survived, because there were still classes, so she returned to the classroom again.

This time she learned a lesson, she was much quieter, but her mind was hard to calm down.

She was still the same as before, inexplicably feeling disgusted during class, and also inexplicably wanted to get angry at the people around her, but in the end she forcibly suppressed them.

So she hardly gained anything all day long, and just managed to finish the day's itinerary in a state of confusion.

The day's class was finally over, Yang Zichen kindly waited for Zhao Bai'an and wanted to chat with her, but Zhao Bai'an refused.

She was very tired, didn't want to say anything, and had nothing to say, but closed herself off.

Afterwards, she cut off the usual contact with her friends and shut herself in a different dimension.

Although living in the human world now, it feels like a person cultivating immortals.

Apart from going to class, Zhao Bai'an would just go back to his residence every day, or just hide himself in the bed, wrapping himself in the quilt and staring out of the window.

But when she is really bored, she will also put herself online and socialize online.

The reason she did this was because she would always collapse uncontrollably for no reason, and the feeling of life or death would suddenly envelope her.

Such a situation must not be exposed in front of people he cares about, Zhao Bai'an will only talk nonsense to people he doesn't know.But I will never say anything to people I know well. If I do, it is just some thoughtful words.

She twisted herself in a twisted life like this, no one could comfort her, and she didn't want anyone to comfort herself.Zhao Bai'an has been sinking like this, making the situation intensified like this, and letting his emotions affect the reality.

When I was walking on the road, my heart suddenly felt extremely painful, and I couldn't control my eyes and flustered.When cooking, taking a bath, or just being alone in a daze, you will be hit hard for no reason, and you will burst into tears uncontrollably, and you can't even stand up in severe cases.

However, these are not the most serious. The most serious thing is that even her dream world has completely collapsed. Zhao Bai'an suffers from insomnia every day. Her situation is more serious than before. She can't fall asleep a day.

Under such circumstances, Zhao Bai'an was in a daze every day. She couldn't tell reality, what was a dream, and where she was.Even obviously wandering in the real world, but there is an illusion of free consciousness.

During the daytime on weekdays, Zhao Bai'an felt that her body was light and light, as if she had become a soul. In the end, she would pass out several times for no reason, and she would not get any better after waking up.

Her body is getting worse and worse, her whole body looks haggard, and her eyes seem to be covered with thick smoky makeup every day. Her classmates began to criticize her, but she didn't care at all. She still repeated the past That endless loop.

Of course, she hasn't closed her eyes all the time, but only when her body is on the verge of the limit, when her body is really unable to support, will she fall into a short sleep, but it's a pity that each period of unconsciousness probably doesn't exceed half Hour.

And even this half an hour was not peaceful. The scenes in the past dreams were reincarnated, and her brain couldn't get a moment's rest.

The dream was chaotic and broken, every short hibernation Zhao Bai'an would forcefully go to the White Palace, locked in the railing, and faced countless doubts from himself.

Many of them are just like the current classmates around her, pointing at her and saying things that she can't bear.

In the end, those words seemed to have a substance, and they would pile up on the railing that closed Zhao Bai'an for no reason.Slowly, the icy fence seemed to be getting higher and higher, making it even more difficult for Zhao Bai'an to get out.

And just sleeping for less than half an hour can make her wake up profusely in sweat every time.

Zhao Bai'an endured this for an unknown amount of time, but her condition still did not improve, with hallucinations, auditory hallucinations and mild self-mutilation.

She often hurts herself for no reason, but fortunately, Huo Miki is always by her side, giving her comfort, encouragement and advice.

And after Huo Sanmu's transfer to reality, Moriyama seems to be in more frequent contact with Zhao Bai'an, and sometimes even said something to increase Zhao Bai'an's confidence.

These don't seem to be all fantasies, but Zhao Bai'an can't distinguish between hallucinations and reality, and she can't tell whether the Morishan who appears as long as she needs is real.It was she who took the initiative to contact and then replied that Mori Shan was real.

But everything doesn't seem to matter anymore, she now feels that this kind of life is not bad, she is used to it.

Gradually, Zhao Bai'an doesn't even feel lonely anymore, she will often have daily conversations with Huo Sanmu, and Huo Sanmu will also comfort and accompany Zhao Bai'an, and sometimes even admonish her for some slightly excessive behavior.

Invisibly, Huo Sanmu seems to be Zhao Bai'an's only spiritual support. She often discusses with Huo Sanmu about self-doubt, panic, entanglement and so on.

And Huo Miki will always give her a response, at any time.

Huo Sanmu told Zhao Bai'an that she would always be with Zhao Bai'an, at least she could guarantee this.So please Zhao Bai'an don't panic too much, and don't be afraid of loneliness, because she will always be there, always be there.

In this way, accompanied by the unknown Moriyama in the mobile phone and the unknown Huo Sanmu in front of him, Zhao Bai'an spent day after day, week after week, month after month in a daze.

Zhao Bai'an seemed to be cheering up gradually, her daily behavior seemed to be gradually returning to normal, she seemed to have learned how to act and how to behave in order to integrate herself into the surrounding environment.

And she is finally about to end her study abroad life and usher in the day to go home.

She looked at the room that had been cleaned up, sat on a chair, and looked directly at Huo Miki who was leaning against the wall and also looking at herself.Zhao Bai'an opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say, and in the end he just gave a bitter smile.

Although she is chaotic, although her thinking has been shattered into pieces, she is also sober. She has always known that it is herself who has always been with her, and it is herself who will never abandon her.

That Huo Miki...is herself.

But such sobriety made Zhao Bai'an feel uncomfortable, she didn't want to be alone, she didn't want to be alone!
So when those awakenings popped up, she always pressed them back compulsively.Although there is a feeling of self-deception in the dark, but what can she do?

On a day like today, which is the last day of school, many students go to the carnival, looking for some memories that can be taken back.But only she has been following the habit of the past few months, sitting here, this place that carries most of her life, sitting in the now empty room, looking at Huo Miki.

"Xiaobai..." Huo Sanmu, who was leaning against the wall, suddenly called her, and then walked towards Zhao Bai'an.

One step, one step, one step...

Seeing Huo Sanmu's white figure getting closer and closer, Zhao Bai'an froze, and the scene in front of him changed.

It's very strange, since Zhao Bai'an came out of the Red Heart Island that time, he has never returned to the Red Heart Island.

But today she was standing at the door of the Red Heart Island again, but felt extremely flustered for no reason.

Everything seemed so peaceful, but panic flashed in the eyes of the little animals and people within sight.They run peacefully; they panic quietly; they struggle peacefully.

Everything seemed so full of contradictions, and Zhao Bai'an was silently at a loss.

She walked along the almost buried road and came to the Red Castle.The castle is obviously not in decline, but it doesn't seem to be so magnificent anymore.There were no flowers on the surrounding roads, and the many flower pots that were originally loaded with Xiao Xiao Er were empty, only dry and cracked soil remained.

Fortunately, the poker soldier who issued her love card was still standing far away in that corner. Zhao Bai'an was about to move forward, but the soldier suddenly bowed to her, and then opened the door directly.

Huo Mimu, with a calm and dignified face, stepped out of the door, and the snowy owl circled in the sky. Behind her were the mighty Bare Egg Clan, all holding firewood and torches in their hands.

Zhao Bai'an subconsciously wanted to step forward, but suddenly Huo Sanmu let out a sinister smile: "Hahaha...hahaha...!!! Woooo..."

But she smiled and laughed, but the one who was the Red Queen burst into tears.

The bare egg tribe behind him offered a huge torch, and right in front of Zhao Bai'an's eyes, Huo Sanmu took the torch, held it high to show the public, and then lit the wood pile behind him.

The flames shot up into the sky, and the igniters placed everywhere by the light egg clan burned instantly, and the Red Heart Island was completely surrounded by flames in the blink of an eye.

But the strange thing is that Zhao Bai'an didn't participate in it this time, but became a bystander.Although the fire in front of her was fierce, it forcibly walked away from her side,
Looking at everything in the flames, distorted but calm, it seemed like an end to himself.

Zhao Bai'an felt uncomfortable for a while, and finally he staggered forward, trying to pull Huo Sanmu to escape.

She didn't care whether she was involved in it or not, she just ran towards Huo Miki crazily. She wanted to hold Huo Miki's hand, but Huo Miki just shook his head at her, then smiled, and just turned around and walked in. Among the flames.

Suddenly, the flames rose again, blocking Zhao Bai'an's progress.

Zhao Bai'an stood helplessly, watched, and sighed, but in the end he had to recognize this reality.

Seeing with her own eyes that Huo Miki disappeared with the fire like that, the Red Castle collapsed in the fire, and the Tranquil Forest was scorched black in the fire, she was powerless and helpless.

She was in pain and hesitated, and wanted to save as much as possible, and wanted everything to be the same as before, but now she couldn't.

Her tears were also blurred, and finally after a while of struggle, she finally realized the reality, everything seemed to be over.

Everything around her was burnt out, and there was nothing in front of her eyes. She saw the rabbit and the Cheshire dog bowing to her at the edge of the forest, as if saying goodbye, and then turned and walked into the flames.

Zhao Bai'an suddenly woke up after taking a deep breath like a dying person. She found herself still sitting on a chair in an empty room.

There was no Huo Sanmu in front of her eyes, and when she was in a daze, she also knew that she would never dream again.

The scene of Red Heart Island is still vivid, and everyone's farewell is also reflected in front of my eyes.

This time Zhao Bai'an was not in a daze, she clearly understood that everything in the dream was over.

She knew that she didn't deserve to have weird dreams anymore, she should grow up, and fairy tales would never be real.

In the evening, Zhao Bai'an left the residence and got on the plane back home.

Numbly, she took out the paper and pen, and began to draft her graduation acknowledgment on the plane-her graduation thesis was only one step away.

She thanked Huo Miki, A Mo, Rabbit...and Moriyama...

She doesn't know what to call, she doesn't know what to call Moriyama.

After much deliberation, she finally decided to use the word "lover".

Although this is a very strange thank you for graduation, Zhao Bai'an knows that this is her confession to her four years in college.

……

When the plane landed, Zhao Bai'an dragged her huge luggage out of the security checkpoint. She had already told Mori Shan when she would return.

Although Mori Shan didn't reply before the plane took off, Zhao Bai'an knew that he would come to pick her up.

Don't know why, she just knows.

Zhao Bai'an walked out of the airport slowly, she was hopeful, but she didn't see Mori Shan in the crowd.

But this time she didn't panic.

Zhao Bai'an just hugged his luggage and sat on the edge of the flower bed, just sitting there blankly.

No, she was waiting.

She opened and closed the phone repeatedly, and there was only her monologue on the chat box, and there was no reply.

But she just waited like this, quietly waiting, as if she was determined in her heart.

The crowd in the airport hurried past her, staged encounters and partings one after another, Zhao Bai'an was like a statue, sitting all the time, sitting in this place that she thought was conspicuous.

I don't know how long I waited, and a shadow fell from the top of my head.

Raising her head, she saw the person she was very sure of.

"You're here." Zhao Bai'an said with a smile, as if everything was so logical.

I don't know how long it has been since I smiled from the bottom of my heart, Zhao Bai'an just felt happy.

"Well, let's go." Mori Shan responded, taking the suitcase beside Zhao Bai'an, as if everything should be like this.

Zhao Bai'an's tired body seemed to be full of vitality again, and she bounced up.

Well?Miki?

There was a flash of red in the field of vision, but it was fleeting.

Don't worry, I will live a good life, don't worry Miki.

Zhao Bai'an muttered in his heart, then shook his head, and quickly followed the figure in front of him.
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use up--
(End of this chapter)