Maybe I can't have a normal youth

Chapter 63 Finding Your True Self

"Is it better?" After sitting on the bench for a long time, Huo Sanmu asked Zhao Bai'an.

The temperature of the marble chair was just right, slightly cool, which allowed Zhao Bai'an to calm down very well.Her nausea finally faded away.

"Miki, why are you looking like the Red Queen this time?"

It couldn't be because the stock of images in her head had run out, could it?Zhao Bai'an didn't believe that her brain would be so barren.

"Oh, this. Since you asked, let me tell you first. I originally wanted to talk to you after I finish the business. I want to remind you not to forget to talk to me who is the Red Queen. Let's talk about the banquet."

"Banquet?" Zhao Bai'an remembered that Huo Sanmu mentioned this last time on Hongxin Island.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it these days because I couldn't discuss it well with you last time."

"Then why don't you just say no to me right now?"

"Oh no, I understand." Zhao Bai'an figured it out when he blurted out the last sentence.

Huo Sanmu's memory in the palace of subconsciousness cannot be taken out, so a simple instruction will become so complicated.

"All right. But Miki, why are you here? Or why did I come to my subconscious hall again? What is the business you want to talk about?" Zhao Bai'an felt a little puzzled.

Not to mention that the subconscious palace has become such a strange look in her eyes.The last time I came here, it was because Zhao Bai'an's spirit almost collapsed due to Si Qing's incident.

What about this time?You don't come here for no reason, do you?Although she really can't control it.

"I'm here, of course it's because you need me." Huo Sanmu, who had the face of a red queen, smiled at Zhao Bai'an, and couldn't help making her play a bit.

"Huh? I feel like I've been okay recently."

"Xiaobai, do you really think everything is still normal?" Huo Sanmu asked back.

"Em, if I really have to say something is abnormal, it must be my dream. I have been dreaming of some weird things every day recently. Even if there are some experiences that feel normal, but after all It seems so different from myself."

Huo Miki nodded.

Zhao Bai'an continued to recall: "But I was the protagonist of those dreams. At first I thought it might be that I read some experiences of someone around me again...but..."

Zhao Bai'an frowned: "Judging from Zichen's incident, I should be a bystander. But now, every time I am the protagonist, I feel like a person who really lives in that world Generally, a clear sense of thoughts and emotions, as well as past experiences."

"But you actually think it's a little strange, right?" Huo Miki said.

"Yes, but shouldn't dreams be absurd?"

"But when the shark was chasing you and the internet celebrity restaurant, did you wake up feeling weird?"

"Em, that's not true. Although it was also a fictional experience, I felt very natural at the time."

"This is the problem!" Huo Sanmu was very happy that Zhao Bai'an could have a clear feeling about it.

"You...it's too easy to be invaded."

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"Maybe it's because you can accept almost all viewpoints. At the same time, you are very good at empathizing." Huo Sanmu is indeed Zhao Bai'an's subconscious avatar. She understands Zhao Bai'an better than anyone else. "So some experiences of others It's really easy to bother you."

"It's not that you read other people's experiences, but that you are easily disturbed by them. If you compare everyone's certain experiences to a cold virus, then Xiaobai, you are the one who is most likely to be infected in the crowd, and you are vulnerable. far more than normal."

"You keep an open attitude towards this world, so there is no barrier outside of you." Huo Sanmu emphasized the "outside". Sure enough, it is impossible for Zhao Bai'an to hide from her the deepest heart that is calm about everything. of.

"That's why." Huo Miki continued to analyze, "The fragments you have experienced recently are actually inadvertently received some experiences of other people. That's why you feel strange after waking up. The most essential exclusion of things."

"But I'm not a bystander, and some things can't be real experiences at all!"

For example, empty cities, overdrawn happy pills, people whose sense of existence is low enough to be comparable to transparent people...

"Yes, I know all this. And I know why."

"why?"

"Because your broken dream is probably just from a friend you are not familiar with, or even just from a passerby who passed by. So you can only read a small part, but can't go deep. Then you! "Huo Sanmu poked Zhao Bai'an's head, "I will add bricks and tiles to the loopholes in this experience according to my own understanding."

"Huh? So that's why some are so weird?"

My brain hole is a bit too big!Zhao Bai'an was shocked by this.

"I think sometimes you may just retain all the emotions and attitudes of the other party. Then based on these, you create similar but extremely absurd stories."

Huo Sanmu smiled at Zhao Bai'an: "So Xiaobai, do you understand? The reason for calling me here this time."

"It's to sort it out with me, isn't it?"

Huo Miki continued to smile and shook his head, saying, "It's for you to find the real you."

"Eh?"

Which one is this?

"You are about to be submerged by these fragments!" Huo Miki seemed anxious and helpless, "I know that it is absolutely impossible for you to change your mind and erect a wall against the world on the surface. After all, you Sometimes you deliberately blur the differences between people, don’t you?”

"You can be the person who treats everything equally, but you can't lose your true self!" Huo Sanmu poked Zhao Bai'an's heart with his index finger.

"When you described to me the church in your eyes, I already realized the problem: if you let yourself go on like this, you will be eroded by the world without a complete self!" Huo Miki emphasized, become extremely serious.

"So, Xiaobai, find the real you. You can accept everything, but you must not get lost. What is your attitude towards life? Why do you exist in this world? What is success for you? And you, What kind of life do you want?" Every word and every sentence of her seemed to hit Zhao Bai'an's heart.

"Only in this way can you put this church back together." Huo Sanmu stood up from the chair, and stretched out his left hand to Zhao Bai'an again, "It's almost time, and it's time to go back."

Huo Sanmu pulled Zhao Bai'an up from the bench and led her towards the wooden door.

"By the way, Miki, let me ask a digression. What are the functions of these two doors?" Zhao Bai'an still vividly remembered the experience of pushing and pulling the milky white door but it didn't move at all.

"What, didn't you know? The door over there can only be entered, and if you want to go out from here, you can only go through this wooden door."

"But...then how did you come here?" Zhao Bai'an remembered that Huo Sanmu, who looked exactly like Chen Yudi, came towards her from the direction of the wooden door last time.

"Me? I will only appear in that enclosure when you need it, just like how I was born in the first place. This time I arrived too early, and you came too late, and I was on the chair Asleep." Huo Miki muttered softly.

It seems that Zhao Bai'an had developed a mindset, thinking that those coming from that direction came out of the wooden door.

"Then what if I didn't find the wooden door when I first came here?"

After all, it's so hidden.

"Then you'll be stuck here forever." Huo Miki shrugged disapprovingly.

"Eh!"

Huo Miki, don't you think that is a terrible thing!And obviously when Zhao Bai'an came here for the first time, she didn't leave the door, even though she didn't know how she came here.

But after all, coming here is her own territory, even if she couldn't find a hidden exit at that time, Zhao Bai'an probably wouldn't cheat herself, right?

Zhao Bai'an asked again: "Then Miki, have you tried pushing to see that milky white gate?"

Judging from the fact that the door of the activity room and the door of the bathroom opened in opposite directions, the door could definitely be opened in both directions.

Zhao Bai'an added: "I can't push it, but it doesn't mean you can't either."

"No, I don't want to try either." Unexpectedly, Huo Miki's answer was extremely firm.

"Okay, don't let the digression cover up the most important thing today." Standing in front of the wooden door, Huo Sanmu grabbed Zhao Bai'an's shoulders, and his fiery red eyes looked directly at her black ones, "Remember, think hard, Find out, and don't be swallowed by the world."

"Well, I see! Let's go then."

Zhao Bai'an and Huo Sanmu pushed open the wooden door together.

(End of this chapter)