I triggered the hidden story again

The first thing to say is that the protagonist of this book does not have any golden fingers - except that he is the protagonist.
The second thing to note is that this is an invincible text.
This book tells the story of the protagonist's crazy triggering of various hidden plots.
The following is the main character's monologue -
Under each cliff, there is a martial arts expert wrapped in oil paper waiting for me to touch the body and pick out the secrets.
In every second-hand market, there is an ancient secret treasure/artifact of dusty dust waiting for me to consecrate it to pick up the leak and recognize the master with blood.
Every journey is the beginning of an adventure, and every encounter is a fateful encounter.
You have to pretend to slap your face when you go to the toilet, and you can save the world by having a late night snack.
I am not the sun, but the whole earth revolves around me.
I am Long Aotian, I am Qiu Zhenwan, and I am destiny.
You thought I was on the first floor, I thought I was on the second floor, and the big boss behind the scenes thought I was on the fifth floor, but in fact I was on the third, 790th, and sixth floor.

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